All right, please don't kill me. I know that this chapter has taken f-ing forever, it was a really difficult one to write though. There was a lot of parts in my plot that I had to smooth out before I could pull this off. So yeah. Onto the story since you're probably not interested in my rambling. Oh, but one last thing. Thank you to my reviewers and subscribers for helping me stick this out so far. And of course my friends who nag at me to hurry up and finish this. XD
Disclaimer: I don't own Air Gear. ;(
The most difficult people in life are the ones who are closed books. Yeah, there's the kind that just hate the world and you will never know much about them. Then there's the ones who you think you know. But it's all just a lie. A facade. Their entire personality is a cover-up.
It's even harder when the cover-up starts becoming who you are and you try to forget everything else. But you can never lie to yourself. No, you never can.
I should know. I'm a closed book, if you open me there's just pain waiting for you. A human Pandora's Box.
I have always had a reason for hiding who I am ever since I lost my mind at the age of ten. Yeah, asylum and everything. I hit my head really hard and my personality fell apart into different pieces. Oh yes, I have a good reason for acting like goody-two-shoes. If I didn't- I don't think I'd be here much longer. My brain has a hard time comprehending pain and sadness as it is. So let's start there. After being turned down by the second person I wanted to trust.
"I need to talk to you." I said.
My voice came out firm and calm. Agito's shoulders dropped, as if sighing, and he slowly turned. I looked at him, my face betraying my turmoil and worry. Those golden eyes glinted and he looked almost annoyed, but less angry then usual. Sort of like this was something he'd been avoiding. I swallowed hard and moved to step forward. He shook his head and blood rushed to my face. It suddenly felt like everyone was staring at me and I reacted like I'd been wanting to for ages now.
I turned and ran.
It was already happening. I needed to get away from people before this got incredibly ugly. I didn't try to use my AT's, I don't think I could. My heart wasn't in it. Just the thought of them made me feel sick right now. For some reason AT's had always been my connection to Agito. It fueled my urge to hang around him and love the days when he came to practice with us. Or the few times I could get him to talk to me. Which were, sadly, few and far in between. But I was falling for it anyway, that personality that I love so much. Because he does want to protect something, he does care even if he doesn't show it. Some people are just like that. And I want him to know me too!
So don't tell me if I'm dying, 'cause I don't wanna know.
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go.
I reached the doors before he stopped me and pulled me back. His glare reminded me why I wanted to know him, why I wanted to trust him. He did care. In his own way.
"Fuck, come on. Let's go." He spat, pulling me behind him.
I blinked, tears prancing my eyes. They were good tears though, the kind that happen because you're relieved.
"You came." I whispered.
I didn't want him to leave, but I always didn't want him there. I wanted to be me, but I didn't want to push him away.
"What did you-" He began, than glanced at my face and jumped back. "Why the fuck are you crying? Don't get so sappy! I, uh, I didn't do this for you!" He yelled, panicking.
I laughed and cried at the same, wiping off my face.
"Okay, Agito. I believe you." I laughed, sniffing.
And just like that, he made my problems disappear. I wanted to stay right here forever. But all good things have to end.
"Who are you, Julia?" He suddenly asked.
I froze. My eyes drifted up to his in a slow haze.
"I- I-" I stuttered, trying to catch my balance. "I don't know." I whispered, peeking at him.
His expression hardened slightly, eyes turning to flint. I looked back, I might be guilty but...
"Liar." He answered.
I blinked, my breath catching in my throat. It was silent as he glared at me, his golden eyes glinting dangerously. I swallowed hard. My head hurt. I winced, rubbing my fore-head.
'No!' Jewels yelled. 'You're not ready yet! Don't remember!'
Searing pain rushed behind my eyes as memories flooded back to me. I groaned, holding my head.
"I'd better start here then." I mumbled, popping out my contacts and putting on my glasses, clearing my throat, scrubbing my eyes until they came clean of make-up.
I slowly returned my face to his. His eyes widened slightly.
"Scar." He whispered. "Talon-shaped scar."
I swallowed. My eyes had returned to their blue shade and I knew that he would jump when I spoke again.
"I… Am dead. Technically." I coughed.
My throat felt weird, returning to it's original voice after such a long time. My eyes felt weird. Most of all, my scar hurt. He surveyed me, his eyes narrowing. Agito's slim figure was rigid and tense. I swallowed and choked in a breath.
"I know you. You… You escaped from a high-security asylum..." He trailed off, staring at me wide-eyed.
"Supposedly, mentally unstable." I mumbled.
He suddenly relaxed.
"And you were captured by a section of the police named the 'Wind G-men' and later on committed suicide." He growled out.
'Julia!' Jewels screamed out as I gasped in fear.
And she was there, trying to drag me back from the edge. I looked up at Agito wildly, I could feel my calm slipping. Bright blue eyes began to look closer to white. My conflicting emotions making my sanity begin to slip. Jewels calmed me back down and I took a deep breath and continued.
"How do you know that?" I said calmly, my voice bordering on terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to stay in check. A form of detachment, so to speak. "That was not open to the general public."
"My brother is the leader." Agito admitted.
My face went blank, as did my mind. It was a good thing that a lot of my memories about that place were blurry, as if seeing through muddy water. It dulled the shock and allowed me to remember. Perhaps up to now I haven't been able to. Not since Jewels came to exist. She locked away these thoughts and memories. A snake, a barely human man with silver hair, was my personal terrorist, torturer. The AT-battle, that Agito was in, he was there! He was there and I didn't do anything!
We were both silent, him waiting for my answer. Me, attempting to put my thoughts into words. I was safe from falling into a seizure for now. Then a part of Agito's story tickled another forgotten memory.
"So that's the cover they put on it? Suicide? Well, I suppose if I was mentally unstable then… No, oh no, definitely not suicide." Then I stopped and shook my head of the memory. "I wanted to kill him." I growled. Just thinking about him made my blood boil. Agito didn't change expressions, but his posture tensed a bit. I breathed in carefully, calming my mind. "Do you want the real story or the one in the police files?" I asked suddenly, glancing at him.
His eyebrows shot up and a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.
"I read the police file. So how about the real one." He answered.
I nodded calmly, I'd expected as much.
"I was born into a high class family. I had three siblings. Two happily wedded, or so I thought, and loving parents. A picture perfect childhood. That's as far as you get with the truth." I began, looking up cautiously to see his reaction. He was nodding to himself, as if ticking off a checklist. Probably keeping a list of things that match the story on national file. "My parents divorced when I was nine and I didn't want to go see my Dad." I breathed, beginning to get lost in memories.
"But I don't wanna go see him. He never does anything I want to do!" My nine-year-old self whined.
Mom suddenly looked tired. Exhausted, even.
"It's christmas eve, you're going." She said with finality.
I sighed and gave up.
"It wasn't any different then usual at first. He was awkward, I was awkward. The first slip-up, my little sister didn't come." I said.
"Merry Christmas." He said.
I forced a smile and tried to get warm.
"Merry Christmas, Daddy." It made my throat hurt to say that. I still felt angry at him and it suddenly hit me that I didn't need to put up a front. Nessa wasn't there. "You… I… I'm sorry. But I really can't stand this anymore. You know I'm angry with you." I choked out.
"I didn't keep my temper. That was my second slip-up. There was nothing to keep him from… Doing something stupid." I whispered.
Instinct told me that I was being stared at and I knew that Agito was analyzing me. All though annoying, he really was very smart. He didn't become the Fang King for nothing after all. Irritated at the feeling I was beginning to get from his staring, I glanced up at him. His eyebrow jumped for a second and I realized that to anybody it would look like I was glaring at them murderously. I softened my expression and looked at him less seriously.
"So, I told you about me. Now tell me something about you." I suddenly decided.
Agito's glower got darker and a light flicked on in my head. I knew it, he was hiding something… Or really irritated because I left my story unfinished. Okay, so it's probably the latter.
"Come on shark-boy, I'm not going to spill my secrets so easily." I goaded.
He rolled his eye and then did something unexpected. He pulled off the eyepatch.
"Akito has been a part of this longer than I have." He said.
I stared at him, surprised.
"You were the second personality?" I asked.
He nodded. My mouth dropped open.
"Wasn't expecting that…" Or I was, but I was hoping that I would be wrong.
"Agito?" A more feminine voice asked.
A smile twitched up on my lips.
"Hey, Akito." I mumbled.
"Jewel- Julia, hi." He greeted. The half-smile returned and I waited for him to continue.
Why did he almost slip-up on my name?
"Kaito is our brother." They started. My eyebrow raised, the voice was Agito's. So then he's the more dominant even if he's the second personality. "He raised me from when I was little, not a baby though. I don't remember where or what I did before Kaito."
So, memory loss? That would be odd, or there's another personality but that would be a bit much… Like someone was trying too hard to make his Agito's life horrible. I debated back and forth between ideas for a moment, then just filed it away for later.
Golden eyes seemed to get a bit cloudy and I was still hit by how delicate Agito looked. It's funny because that's usually a girl thing but he looked delicate in a… Manly way. God, it sounds like I'm totally insulting him. Which I'm not, his build adds to his nonexistent charm- Oh, never mind! This is impossible!
"And after that?" I prompted.
"He trained us in ATing. It was rather difficult training, but it made him happy so… You know… We did it anyway." Akito said.
I gnawed at my lip. It made no sense, it just didn't add up. Why didn't Kaito seem like the murderous bastard he absolutely was?
"So you were a pansy." I teased, smirking at Akito.
He turned red and started stuttering.
"I-I was not!" He yelled back.
"It's not good to be in denial. It's bad for your health." I pointed out, trying to quell my foreboding feeling.
"Whatever, then he-"
Finally the story clicked into place. That's why he had fought alone at that A.T. battle and it would explain the unadulterated violence.
"Put you in the Wind-G-Men. I see where this is going. Let me guess, that's how you became the Fang King? Am I right?" I cut in.
Agito's eyes flashed something more dangerous. It was a look I remembered seeing when he was going to fight.
"Yes. That's as far as I'll go." Akito put in.
I nodded, standing up from the bench we'd migrated to. It was foggy and beginning to get dark, not to mention the fact that it looked like it might rain soon. Yup, time to go. Besides...
"I cannot remember a lot of my story clearly. We'll have to return to it at a later date." I said in monotone.
In fact, I had surprised even myself. It was rare for me to fall into the other side of my personality; but, rare moments like this had been happening a lot lately. I think that it might have something to do with Jewels becoming more synchronized with me, but I could be wrong; it may be something more confusing then that.
"Julia?" A husky voice broke into my thoughts, I could feel my face burning up.
"What?" I snapped, then patted my face and turned around. "Yes?" I asked, more nicely.
"Meet me in Fuji tomorrow. Nine o' clock." Agito stated and disappeared.
I cursed his skill with A.T.'s and kicked a pole violently.
'What the fuck does he think he's doing?'
And then I remembered that look. Weirdest thing was that the eyepatch was back on.
Hey guys. Well, I really think that's as far as I'm going to get on this chapter, I'm glad I spent a little while so I could get back into this though. For a little while there I felt like I was just forcing myself to write this, I don't write very well when I do that. And yeah, this chapter is particularly hard to follow, I'm sorry abut that. Really, I didn't mean to do that, it just kind of happened. Lol, and a friend of mine was going to seriously eat my face if I didn't hurry up and finish this. I hope that you guys are glad I got this out and please review with any comments you have on how this could be improved and stuff. :D