A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter of this story! I think I have a pretty good idea of where I want this to go, but I'm always willing to hear suggestions and maybe I can incorporate a bit into the story! So, please feel free to review! And now... more.
"I have to go," said Quinn, hurrying off the jungle gym.
"Quinn, wait!" Rachel called after her. She scrambled down to follow Quinn to her car. "Please talk to me. What just happened?"
"It was a mistake Berry. Just a mistake." The defenses were back up. Quinn, the HBIC, was back. She couldn't be anything else.
"Quinn, please. You kissed me."
"Whatever Berry. You're imagining things," Quinn spat back. She grabbed Rachel's things from her car and tossed them on the ground at Rachel's feet. "You can walk home from here."
Quinn got in the car and drove off like a flash. She needed to put distance between her and the girl that was the cause of the ache in her core. Miles later, Quinn found herself pulling into Lima Hill Park, a gorgeous, hilly park on the outskirts of Lima. She parked the car on top of the hill and got out. She walked over to a large tree, overlooking the town, and sat down against in. Her knees pressed against her chest, and she broke down, crying for what seemed like the millionth time today.
Quinn had just done something that went against everything she was ever taught. Everything in church, by her family, by society… With one kiss, Quinn had successfully rebelled against all that. And it terrified her.
But what terrified Quinn more than her rebellion was how much she liked it, how much she wanted to do it again, how much she wanted to see Rachel, to kiss Rachel again. Quinn rested her chin on her knees and looked out at her town below the hill. If she admitted what she felt and whom she felt it for, her world would be destroyed forever.
Quinn heard a car pull up next to her own. I swear to God, if Rachel followed me up here… Quinn thought before turning around to glare at whomever was ruining her alone time.
"Quinn?" Santana said, getting out of her car.
"San? What are you doing here?" Quinn asked.
"I could ask you the same thing," said Santana, walking over to Quinn. Quinn quickly wiped at her cheeks, making sure any trace of tears were gone before Santana could see. "Are you okay?" Santana asked as she sat next to Quinn.
Quinn shrugged, knowing if she tried to say anything, she'd probably end up breaking down again. Quinn noticed Santana's eyes were red, probably much like her own.
"Are you okay?" asked Quinn. Santana also shrugged. "Brittany?" Quinn guessed. Santana nodded, and tears began to form in her eyes.
"She won't break up with Artie," Santana whispered. Quinn nodded and sat silently, wanting to let Santana get out whatever she needed to say. "She said she loves me, but… she loves him too." Santana began sobbing, and Quinn pulled her into an embrace. "I'm willing to come out… I'm willing to risk social suicide for her…" Santana said in between sobs.
"You really do love her, don't you?" Quinn asked. Santana nodded into Quinn's shoulder. "Then don't give up, S."
Santana pulled back, a confused look on her face. "I didn't think you'd be supportive. I thought you'd tell me I was going to hell or something."
Quinn cringed. She hated hearing other people's perceptions of her. Santana, who had been her best friend, thought she'd go all crazy Christian homophobe on her. It pained Quinn to think of what everyone else must think about her.
"I know I haven't been a good friend to you lately, S. I want to change that," said Quinn. "I've known for a long time how happy Britt makes you. I'd have to be blind not to see it. You deserve to be happy San, no matter who makes you happy."
"Thanks, Q," Santana said, wiping the tears from her face. "I needed to hear that."
"And if you do decide to come out, I'll be here for you. I may be a bitch, but I don't want to be a homophobe anymore."
"Good," Santana smiled and pulled Quinn into another hug. "So, what's up with you?"
Quinn sighed, she wasn't going to be able to hide anything from the feisty Latina.
Rachel walked the three blocks home in utter confusion. As she walked, she analyzed what had transpired over the past hour.
Event #1: Quinn had offered to take Rachel home.
Event #2: Quinn had wanted to talk to Rachel.
Event #3: The talk had seemed to be about San and Britt and sexuality.
Event #4: Quinn had broken down crying, and Rachel had comforted her.
Event #5: Quinn had kissed Rachel... And the kiss was good...
Event #6: Quinn had stormed off, leaving Rachel to walk the rest of the way home.
It was curious and confusing. Rachel didn't know what to think. Was Quinn playing a joke on her? She didn't think so, given how painfully she cried in Rachel's arms. So then was Quinn legitimately interested in girls, and by extension interested in Rachel?
Rachel made it home and barricaded herself in her bedroom without saying hello to her dads, who were in the kitchen preparing dinner. She powered up her laptop and immediately logged onto facebook. She had a number of messages and wall posts waiting for her, mostly from her fellow gleeks, but there were more pressing matters at hand currently. She opened up Quinn's page and began to, for lack of a better phrase, facebook stalk the blonde former cheerleader.
Quinn had a thousand or more facebook friends, most of whom were current or former students at William McKinley High. It was part of Quinn's duty as head cheerleader to be facebook friends with anyone who requested. She had an image to maintain, one of popularity which facebook let her do without having to actually interact with people she would consider losers, like Rachel.
Nothing in Quinn's profile seemed amiss, so Rachel clicked out of it and began to respond to the rest of her facebook needs.
She also logged onto myspace, which was no longer the social media tool it had been in years past. Rachel maintained a profile and used it mostly to broadcast her talents via videos of herself singing. She had a new video to upload, one of her singing Katy Perry's "Firework" which Lauren had been so kind as to record and help her edit. She had the idea of sharing the song with Kurt during the Karofsky affair, thinking the fabulous gay boy would appreciate the song, but she hadn't gotten around to it until now.
As Rachel uploaded the song, she thought she might share it with Quinn if ever given a chance to be alone with the beautiful HBIC again. Rachel knew Quinn had to be dealing with some pretty powerful demons to react like she had earlier that afternoon. She had suspected for some time that Quinn must be quite repressed due to her overbearing father, and even though her father was now out of her life, it didn't mean that Quinn would be able to easily erase 16 years of repression.
Rachel was quite aware of the stories about the Fabrey family and their conservative ways. Obviously Quinn still held onto some of that, given she was still actively involved in the Celibacy Club, despite the strikingly ironic position it put her in. The president of the Celibacy Club got pregnant? Rachel suspected the same oppressive environment that lead to such irony was at work instilling complicated homophobic values in Quinn.
"Rachel!" called her dad, "Dinner!"
"Be down in a minute!" Rachel called back.
She opened facebook again and typed a quick message before going down to dinner with her parents.
Quinn,
I know there must be a lot going on in your head right now. There's no use denying that the kiss happened, all we can do now is decide how to proceed. I promise I won't bring it up in public or do anything to embarrass you. I know very well if I did, there would be a massive slushy attack in my future. I do want to offer you an olive branch of sorts via this message. We haven't always been friends, or for that matter civil towards each other, but I do want to tell you that if you ever need to talk about what you're feeling, I'm here for you.
With deepest sincerity,
Rachel Berry
"You kissed Berry?" Santana exclaimed. "Well, fuck, Q… and I thought I was about to commit social suicide."
"You can't tell anyone about this. Swear you won't," begged Quinn.
Santana saw the fear in Quinn's eyes. She took Quinn's hand and held it in her own. "I swear, I won't breathe a word of this."
"Not even to Brittany," said Quinn.
"Not even to Britt," Santana agreed. She squeezed Quinn's hand to reassure the blonde. "So, what are you going to do now?"
Quinn shrugged. "I don't know. Avoid Berry as much as humanly possible until I forget what I did?"
"Think that'll work?"
"Probably not… but right now, I think it's my best option," Quinn sighed. She knew it would never be possible to forget what had happened earlier that afternoon. If she allowed herself to admit it, the kiss she shared with Rachel was the best kiss she'd ever had.