A/N: Okay I lied again. I got quite a few anxious reviews with the last chapter, so I had the time and wrote this chapter, just to give all of you some peace of mind. I hope you will all like this chapter. I'm working on the last chapter and hopefully it will be up within the next week or so. My beta has asked me to write an epi for this story, but I really think it's just because she wants the 7 chapters she predicted lol. We'll see if I decide to write an epi too.
By the way, I did want to mention something, which I'm surprised I didn't have anyone question me on this, but I'm not a professional horse trainer and I really don't have a lot of horse knowledge. I did take an equine science class in high school, many years ago and I've been around horses most of my life. But I've only ridden a horse a few times. So if I get any of the terminology wrong, or I didn't train Midnight correctly, I'm sorry. I tried to do as much research as I could to get it as realistic as possible, before I wrote this story. Just wanted everyone to know.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight of the characters involved.
"Bella," I heard my dad call from the other side of the door. "Are you coming down today? You've been up here all day. Did you still want to talk?"
"Not right now," I said, trying not to sound like I had been crying all day.
"Are you okay?" He asked, with concern in his voice.
"I'm fine. I'm just tired and want to be left alone," I shouted.
"Okay," he said, defensively. "I'll be downstairs if you want to talk."
"I covered my head up with the blanket, still running the scene from this morning through my head. Edward's words hurt me so much. I've never been hurt by someone so deeply than when he was telling Jake about us. I don't know how Jake found out or how he knew, but he must have confronted Edward about it. I never imagined Edward would only see me as sex. I thought it was so much more than that. Or maybe it was just my own wishful thinking.
I needed to get over him. I needed to get out of here and go back to who I was before I came. Being here changed me and I thought it was for the better. But now, I see it only made me weak. I let someone in, without any proof they were letting me in too; and it backfired. I was the fool. I was the one who made a huge mistake by falling for someone like him. I should have known better. What would our life be like if it was more? We'd never work out. I'm a rich girl, he's a stable boy. We come from two totally different worlds and would never be able to come together.
I needed to accept it was over and move on. I needed to learn from this huge mistake I made and not ever do it again.
I stayed in bed all night and never once came out. In the early morning hours, I walked over to my window and looked out towards the barn. The light in Edward's room was on. I didn't know why he was up, but I didn't care to know either.
I hadn't seen Midnight all day and I was sure he was probably wondering what happened to me. He got agitated when I wasn't around. I put on some shoes and a sweatshirt, before heading outside. I wanted to see Midnight. I knew seeing him, would make me feel better.
I walked down the path to Midnight's stall and quietly stepped in. He whinnied loudly as soon as he sensed me near. I hushed him instantly, not wanting him to alert Edward. He quieted down once I started petting him and talking to him. I hugged his neck, holding back the sobs forming in my throat. The hardest part of all; was knowing I'd have to leave Midnight. He belonged to Edward and there was nothing I could do about it.
"There you are," Edward said, relieved. I rolled my eyes, not willing to look at him. "I've been trying to call you and you haven't answered."
"My phone was off," I explained shortly.
"I don't think I've slept at all tonight. You didn't even come out to see Midnight. Your dad said you locked yourself in your room. What's wrong?" He asked, with a hint of concern. I knew it was all just an act though.
"Just because I don't answer my phone, doesn't mean there's something wrong with me," I retorted.
"Okay, but I was worried about you."
"Why? Were you afraid you wouldn't get some tonight?" I asked, turning around to face him. I put my hand on my hip, staring at him expectantly.
"What are you talking about?"
"Just forget it," I returned, walking past him for the gate. He grabbed my arm, swinging me around to look at him.
"What's going on? Why are you acting like this?" He questioned. "Have you been crying?"
"Did you go see Rebecca yesterday while I was sleeping?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"Is that what this is about?" He wondered.
"No, it's not what this is about," I argued, jerking my arm back.
"I didn't go see her, Bella. I told you, I don't have any interest in being with her ever again," he insisted.
"You know, I don't think she was the user," I stated, before turning and walking out of the stall.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He shouted after me. I didn't answer. I walked into the house and went straight to my room to cry some more.
By morning, I had enough of crying. I wanted to do something to make me feel better. So, I got out of bed and took a shower, praying the water would make the puffiness and dark circles on my eyes, go down. I made sure to put some make-up on, to cover it up as best I could also.
I walked out to the barn and saddled up Midnight. "Where are you going?" Edward asked.
"It's none of your business," I replied.
"I don't want you riding him today. You're upset about something and he can sense it, which is putting him on edge. You're risking getting hurt," He proclaimed.
"I see," I began, turning toward him. "Since you own him now, and you aren't getting any, you're going to keep him from me. Is that how it's going to work now?" I pulled off my shirt, leaving myself in only my bra. "Well, here I am. Might as well do what you want with me, so I can take my horse out."
"Bella, what are you doing?" He shouted, grabbing my shirt from me and putting it back over my head. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one saw what I had done.
"What's the matter, Edward? Are you afraid someone might find out we've been sleeping together? Are you afraid my dad might fire you if he knew? I'm sure if I filled him in on your extracurricular activities, he'd be very quick to kicking you out of here."
"Is this about me buying Midnight? Bella, I told your dad I wouldn't move him or do anything with him. He's here to stay. You can see him any time you want. But I can't in good conscience let you ride him when you're this upset. Can we just please talk about this, so you understand why I bought him?" He asked.
"I don't want to talk to you about anything right now. I don't even want to look at you," I retorted. I pulled the saddle off of Midnight's back and walked out of the stall. I walked over to Apple's stall and saddled her up instead. I took off as quickly as I could on her, losing myself in the forest. I reached the stream and got off of Apple, balling my eyes out even more. How could he stand there and talk to me the way he was, after what he said? How could he go on like nothing happened? I didn't imagine what he said. I heard every word of it and there was no denying what he meant. I was so stupid for falling in love with him. Why did I, anyway? I don't fall in love with random guys, especially not guys like him.
"Bella?" Jake called, behind me. "Are you okay?"
"No," I answered through my sobs. He sat down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders for comfort.
"What happened?" He asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," I cried. He nodded his head in acceptance. He let me cry on his shoulder for a long time, with no explanation to why I was crying. Deep down I think he knew, but he never let on he did.
In the late afternoon, we decided to head back. I didn't want to ride though. I wanted to walk. I had no reason for going back, so there was no hurry. I told Jake he could go on ahead without me, but he insisted on walking with me. We didn't talk much on the way back, until he started telling me stupid jokes.
"How does the man in the moon cut his hair?" He asked.
"I don't know," I answered, uninterested in what he was saying.
"Eclipse it." I smiled, lightly laughing at the stupidity of the joke. He took it as his cue to continue with more.
"What kind of horses go out after dusk?" He asked. I shook my head, not knowing the answer. "Nightmares." I snorted at the answer.
"I'm glad you're laughing. I'd rather see you laugh than cry," he stated. I smiled at his kindness. It did feel good to laugh again.
"What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day?" He asked, just as we began walking into the yard.
"I don't know. Tell me."
"A Frisbee," he answered. I laughed out loud, as we walked around the corner of the barn.
"Bella!" I heard two familiar voices exclaim. I stopped in my tracks looking up to see both Alice and Rosalie standing in front of me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked excitedly. They both came running to me, wrapping their arms around me. I returned the hugs, trying to make sure I wasn't imagining anything.
"Your mom called us yesterday and said you were having a bad day and asked if we would be willing to come a couple days early to cheer you up and get you ready for your party," Alice explained.
"And it's a good thing she did too," Rosalie said, looking me over. "You're a mess sweetie. Look at your nails. They're awful. And your hair is full of split ends. Have you even slept at all since you've been here? Your eyes have huge bags under them. The country life certainly doesn't suit you."
"Thanks, Rose," I scoffed.
"We'll get you all cleaned up. We have a hotel room set up in Seattle. We'll get you out of here and back into the city, where you belong," Alice added.
"Go pack your bags, so we can get out of here," Rosalie ordered. "Tomorrow we'll go…"
"Um," I interrupted. "I don't want to go anywhere just yet. I can't leave my dad so suddenly like this. Can we wait until tomorrow? Both of you could stay here with me for the night. I can show you around and introduce you to my dad and to Midnight."
"Midnight?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah," I smiled proudly. "He's my horse. Well not exactly my horse, but in spirit he's mine." They both exchanged a look of concern, but agreed to stay for the night as long as we left first thing in the morning.
"Oh, sorry," I remarked, realizing Jake was still standing behind me with the horses. "Rosalie, Alice, this is Jake. He works for my dad." They both gave him reserved smiles. I felt like it was the first day I came here, all over again.
"Uh, yeah, I think I'll take the horses in and get them cleaned up," Jake stated. He turned towards the barn, leading the horses through the entrance. Edward met Jake, helping him with the horses.
"Edward, get Midnight and bring him out here to me?" I demanded. I saw his eyes shoot up to mine, with shock. He turned, and headed down the barn to get Midnight for me, while I chatted with Rose and Alice about their trip to Cancun. A few minutes later, Edward walked Midnight out to me. I didn't acknowledge or thank him. I just took the reins and turned back to my friends. He turned and walked back in the barn.
"This is Midnight. I've taken care of him and trained him since he came here. He's my baby," I explained proudly, rubbing his nose. He nodded his head playfully at them, making me smile.
"Who was that?" Alice asked, nodding towards the barn where Edward had just gone.
"Nobody, he's just the stable boy," I answered.
"Is that the guy you were trying to get fired?" Alice asked.
"Yep, that's him. As you can see, I have yet to figure out how to get him fired."
"Wow, Bella may be losing her touch," Rose teased.
"Yeah, well now even if I wanted him fired, I can't. He owns my horse, so if I want Midnight to stay, Edward has to stay." I said Edward's name like it was a bad word. I really didn't want to even talk about him anymore. I never wanted to hear his name mentioned ever again.
"Oh my God, Bella, if you want the horse that bad, just buy the damn thing," Rose suggested.
"You don't think I've thought about that?" I asked, irritated by the question. I patted Midnight on the neck encouraging them to pet him also. "Believe me, if it was possible for me to buy him and never have to come back here ever again, I would, but my dad won't accept the money."
"But you said Edward owns him," Alice reminded. "Why not buy him from Edward?"
"I don't think he'll let me. He has this strange control issue. He barely lets me ride Midnight, even though I'm the one who did everything for him. I was the one who took care of him and trained him. Midnight won't let anyone else ride him, but me. But since Edward owns him now, he won't let me do anything with him anymore. I'm actually surprised he brought him out here so I could show both of you."
"Alright," Rose started. "I think the fresh air is getting to you. We need to do an intervention and get the Bella we know and love back. It's not like you to let someone tell you what you can and can't do, especially not someone like him." I laughed at their observation of me. I had changed since I'd been here. I thought it was for the better, but now I think it was a very bad thing. I was better off being the way I was before I came here. I got more respect when I had no emotion or cared about anything but myself. That's how Edward saw me all along, so I might as well be who he thinks I am.
"I'm going to put Midnight away. If both of you want to bring your stuff in the house and make yourselves at home, I'll meet you in there in a few minutes. Unless either of you would like to go check out the other horses in the barn," I suggested. They both gave each other a look of disgust.
"We'll go in the house and talk to your dad. He was very nice to us when we arrived," Alice revealed. "He's a sweet man."
"Yeah, he is," I smiled. "I'll be right in."
They walked towards their car, unloading their bags from the back. I headed towards the barn, leading Midnight behind me. I met Jake at the entrance. "See you later, Bella. I hope having your friends here helps you cheer up," he said.
"Thanks Jake, for being there for me and trying to cheer me up today. I really appreciate it."
"No problem, Bella. It's what friends do for each other, right?" He asked.
I smiled. "Right, what friends do," I agreed. "Remember about my birthday party this weekend. I'll give you more information through my dad in the next couple days."
"So, does this mean you're leaving for good after today?" He asked.
"Most likely, I'll be staying in the city with my friends, so we can prepare for the party," I answered.
"Then I guess the next time I see you will be on Saturday." He reached out giving me a hug goodbye. I hugged him back, awkwardly. Jake and I were never very close, but I didn't want to be rude to him. He was really nice to me the entire time I was here. "I don't think he meant it, Bella," he whispered, pulling away from me. I stared up into his eyes, dumbfounded by his words. He gave me a bashful smile, before walking out to his car to leave for the day.
I watched as he pulled out of the driveway, thinking over what he said. Was he referring to what Edward told him? Did he know that's what I was so upset about? Did he know I overheard it all? Was he right, when he said Edward didn't mean it? It didn't matter if he meant it or not. What matters is, he said it. If he didn't mean it, he should have never said it.
I led Midnight down the path of the barn to his stall. I released him from the reins and gave him a scoop of grain.
"So, is that how it's going to be now?" Edward asked, in an irritated tone. "I'm back to being the stable boy? The, nobody you want fired?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked, angrily.
"Did you think I couldn't hear you? Just because your snobby friends are here, I go back to getting treated like shit again," he observed.
"Well, I am just a spoiled rich bitch, so how else do you expect me to treat you?" I asked, glaring up at him. He took a step back and opened his mouth in astonishment. "Oh, did you think I didn't know? Did you think I couldn't hear you?"
"Did Jake tell you?" He gasped.
"No dipshit, I overheard you. Jake didn't have to tell me a thing. I guess he was right though. I should have chosen him. At least he's a decent guy who doesn't ever treat me like a common whore," I shouted.
"Bella… I…," He began.
"Save it. There's nothing you could ever say, to make up for what you said. Besides, I'm over it. No hard feelings. You gave me the entertainment I needed and I'm leaving tomorrow morning. So, thanks for getting me through the summer without going insane. Hopefully the next time I come to visit my dad and my horse, you'll be gone. I don't ever want to see your face again."
"Well, I'm glad we both know where we stand with each other," he said, defensively. "Have a nice life back in Hollywood."
"I will, thanks," I smiled. I walked past him, but he grabbed my arm, swinging me around. He grabbed my face with his hands, pressing his lips to mine forcefully. I tried to pull away, but his hold on me prevented it. Instead, I let him kiss me. I didn't move, or willingly kiss him back. I just let him do what he needed to do. When he pulled away, still holding my face in his hands, he sighed, opening his eyes slowly and looking down at me. I smiled up at him, positioning my knee between his legs. He smiled, like he thought he won or something. I raised my knee as fast as I could, hitting him right in the balls. He gasped, cowering to the ground, crying and groaning from the pain. "Consider that your one and only warning. Don't ever touch me again. It's not going to work this time." I walked over to the gate, still hearing him whimper from the pain. "If I were you, I'd get your ass off the ground before Midnight stomps on you. I think he's been waiting for a good chance to hurt you and I just gave him the perfect opportunity." I watched for only a few seconds more as he started to crawl across the ground for the door. I smiled at my revenge, as I walked back to the house. I didn't need him and I definitely could do a lot better.
I walked in the house, still smiling from ear to ear. "Took you long enough," Rose complained.
"I had some things to take care of." I walked into the kitchen and washed my hands in the sink. My dad was in the kitchen, making dinner. Alice was attempting to help, but was talking my dad's ear off, more than helping. I led Alice and Rose upstairs to my room so they could put their bags away. They walked in and instantly scoffed at how small it was.
"So," Alice began. "Tomorrow we're going shopping and getting pedicures and manicures. I think you need a haircut too." She played with a stand of my hair, looking at it with disgust. "We are going to need to do, a deep cleaning from head to toe on you. Look at your hands Bella. They're all calloused and tough. And you have bruises all over your body. Did your dad put you to work or something?"
"No, it's like I told you. I trained Midnight to let me ride him. It was a lot of work and I got thrown off repeatedly for days. When a horse is bucking and trying to kick you off, you have to hold on to the reins tightly," I explained.
"Then, why do it?" Rosalie asked, with a look of confusion.
I shrugged. "I like Midnight. We had a connection the minute he got here and I wanted to be the one to train him. No one else could. He was at a place down in California when I first got here and they brought in professional trainers and tried every trick to get him trained, but nothing worked. So my dad brought him here and Edward helped me train him."
"Edward? The same Edward you wanted fired?" Alice asked, skeptically.
"Well, during that time, I didn't want him fired. For a while we actually got along really well. Maybe better than we ever should have," I admitted. I looked up at both of them staring me down with knowing eyes.
"Deets. Now." Alice demanded.
I sighed, walking over to the window to look out at the barn. "It's not what both of you are thinking. There isn't anything to tell. For a while, I thought he was a decent guy and someone I could actually be friends with, but I realize now, it's not possible. He's still the same jack-ass he was, when I first came here. I don't need him anymore."
"You're keeping things from us. We can tell," Rosalie pointed out.
I turned back towards them, smiling. "I am not," I laughed. "I'm grateful he taught me how to train Midnight, but there's nothing more than animosity towards him beyond that." I knew I was lying to myself and I'm sure they could both see through me, but they didn't ask any more questions. I didn't want to keep things from them. They were my best friends and we always told each other everything. But this, I never wanted anyone to know about. I was embarrassed enough for myself, I didn't need any more embarrassment.
A little while later, my dad called us downstairs for dinner. He made simple spaghetti, with no meat, for my sake, with a garden salad. I dished up my plate, and began to eat. My friends stared at the food, with worried expressions. They were used to eating at four star restaurants every night. I used to be the same way, until I came out here.
"Don't be afraid. It's actually really good. My dad's a pretty good cook and the vegetables in the salad he grew himself," I insisted. I looked over at my dad, who smiled bashfully. They both took deep breaths, before placing a small amount of the spaghetti and salad on their plate. I smiled as they both took nibbles. After the first couple bites, they dug in, eating every bite happily. Rosalie even had a little bit of seconds.
After dinner, I offered to wash the dishes for my dad. Rosalie and Alice went upstairs to my room to change and my dad went into the living room to watch TV. I washed all the dishes by hand, placing them in the rack to dry. I glanced out the kitchen window every chance I got. I couldn't help it. I wondered if Edward was okay and if he was able to get out of the stall. I wanted to go check on him. But then I'd think differently of it, and remember how he hurt me. He deserved the same pain. I really hoped Midnight got at least one kick in, before he got out.
As soon as the dishes were done, I told my dad goodnight and went upstairs to spend time with my friends. I walked into the room and they both stared at me expectantly.
"What?" I asked. Alice held up my phone. I grabbed it from her, looking at it. I thought I had turned it off.
"My phone is dead and Rose left hers down in the car," Alice began. "I grabbed yours so I could make a quick phone call. The minute I turned it on, it started to ring. It's been ringing repeatedly since I turned it on. I can't even make my phone call. Why is Edward calling you over and over, like some obsessive boyfriend?"
"Please, tell me you didn't fuck the stable boy," Rose whined.
"It's no big deal. He's probably still mad at me and wants to yell at me some more for what I did," I explained.
"What did you do?" Alice asked.
"I kicked him," I answered.
"You kicked him, where?" Rose asked.
I raised an eyebrow at her, smirking. "Where do you think?"
"Oh my God, Bella," Rose exclaimed, with bulging eyes. "What did he do to make you kick him?"
"He said a bunch of crap about me to Jake and I overheard him. So, I got pissed and I kicked him."
"Wow." Alice was lost for words and all she kept saying was wow. I looked at my phone as it started ringing again. I saw his name pop up on the screen and I instantly pushed the end button. Seconds later it rang again. I rolled my eyes, stepping into the bathroom to answer it.
"You know I could press charges against you for harassment," I threatened.
"Bella, please," he begged, in a weak voice. "We need to talk."
"I don't have anything to say to you. I think I made it very clear today where we stand. I'd appreciate it, if you didn't call me anymore. If you do, I may be forced to press charges. I'm sure there's a statutory rape law in this state," I warned.
He was silent for a few seconds. I thought he may have hung up, until I heard him sigh heavily. "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to tell your dad about us? Do you want me to give you Midnight? Do you want me to gravel at your feet? Just tell me what you want and I'll do it," he pleaded.
"All I want is for you to leave me alone. It was never going to work and you know that. We're too different. Thanks for helping my dad out and saving Midnight, but I don't want to talk to you anymore." I hung up, stepping out of the bathroom. Alice and Rosalie were lying on my bed, flipping through a magazine.
"What did he say?" Alice asked.
"Nothing much, he can't exactly talk right now," I smirked. They both laughed. I turned off my phone, placing it on my dresser and crawled up on the bed with Alice and Rose. We talked through the night. Mostly they talked about their trip to Cancun and everything they did. I tried to stay enthusiastic in the conversation, but my thoughts wandered to Edward more times than I wanted them to. I couldn't help it, though. Even after everything that happened and everything he said, I still loved him. The love I felt for him, couldn't just go away in an instant. It was going to take a long time for me to get over him. But with distance between us, it should be easier.
I stood in my window as the sun came up over the hills. Alice and Rosalie were still sleeping soundly on my bed. I hadn't slept at all. I spent the entire time staring across the yard at Edward's room in the barn. All night long, the light would come on and go off again. I don't think he slept at all either.
I went downstairs once I knew my dad would be up for the day.
"You're up bright and early," he observed.
"I thought I'd get one more ride in before I leave. I have a feeling Alice and Rose will sleep in pretty late, so I have time."
"Would you like me to come with you?" He offered.
"No, I'd kind of like to be alone for a while. I like the peace and quiet of being by myself," I explained.
"You seem to be doing better now, with friends here. I was really worried about you the other day," my dad revealed.
"It was nothing dad. I think it was just PMS or something." He cleared his throat and left the table to get more coffee when I mentioned PMS.
"We never did have that talk you wanted to have. Do you have a few minutes to talk now?" He asked, changing the subject.
"I was just trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. But right now, I think I want to just have fun with my friends and not have any cares in the world." I watched his whole body drop from disappointment. He nodded his head reluctantly.
"Well, I wanted to tell you something too. I thought you should know anyway. I'm going back into the rodeo to make some money."
"I thought you retired from the rodeo?" I asked. "Is it safe for you to be doing riding like that again?"
"I'm not riding. I'm going to be doing some training. Turns out there are quite a few young boys and girls in the area, who want to be able to ride in the rodeo. Even Jacob has expressed an interest. So, I'm going to have them come here and teach them what they need to know, so they can start doing competitions. It's a way for me to earn the money to keep this place running and to be able to pay Edward back for the loan he gave me," he explained.
"That's great dad. I'm glad you have it all worked out."
"Edward's not going to be very happy about it, but I need to do something."
"Edward will get over it," I assured. He laughed, knowing it was next to impossible to get Edward to go along with this plan.
"Enjoy your ride. It may be the last time you get to ride for a while. I think we're all going to miss you around here when you leave later today," my dad informed with a hint of sadness.
"I'll still see you at my birthday party, right?" I asked, worried he may not come.
He smiled, resting his hand on mine. "Of course I'll be there. I've missed enough birthdays as it is and I don't plan to miss anymore from now on." I smiled, knowing he was telling the truth. I got up from the table, heading out to the barn.
I saw Jake as soon as I reached the barn. "You're here early," I observed.
"Charlie is going to give me some pointers on riding in the rodeo," he explained.
"You're really going to ride bucking horses in the rodeo?" I asked, unconvinced.
"I'm actually leaning towards riding the bucking bulls. I need to talk your dad into letting me bring a couple bulls out here first though. I figure I can start on the horses and move up to the bulls later on," he explained.
"Well, good luck and try not to get trampled," I warned, playfully.
He laughed. "I'll try not to."
"If Edward asks, tell him I took Midnight out for one last ride before I go," I requested.
"Will do," he agreed. "Have a good ride."
I went to the barn and quickly saddled up Midnight and took off on him through the field. I had never rode a horse so fast before, but it felt so good. I loved the cool wind hitting my face. I loved the exhilaration the speed gave me. I loved feeling, like I was weightless. There was one thing Mr. Jenks was right about, Midnight was fast. I wanted to get lost in the woods and never be found.
EPOV
I had never cared about anyone enough to give up everything for them. I gave Charlie the money, knowing he needed it, to save the ranch. But I also knew he could get it somewhere else if he really needed to. The main reason I did it, was for Bella. Somewhere in the middle of just having a little sexual fun with her, and teaching her how to ride Midnight, I fell in love with her. I wanted to tell her so many times, and the last time we were together, I was so close to saying it, but I chickened out. I didn't want to love her. I knew, out of anyone I'd ever been close to, she was the one person who would hurt me the most.
At dinner the night before, when Rebecca so conveniently asked her when she was going back home, it suddenly hit me, she was going to leave. My heart felt like it shattered when she revealed she was going back after her birthday. I always knew she would, but the news hit me so suddenly. It meant I only had a week left with her. It meant I'd never see her again. I wanted to beg her to stay for me. I wanted to tell her I loved her and I would take care of her, if she just stayed here for me. I thought, if I saved Midnight for her, it would give her more incentive to want to stay. But then I thought about it, realizing I was crazy if I thought she would ever stay here for me. I was the stable boy. I was nothing to her. I was just a screwed up orphan who had nothing to live for and nothing to offer her. She deserved the type of lifestyle some rich movie star or heir could offer her. She deserved to have everything she ever wanted. I could never give her any of it.
So the minute Jake confronted me about Bella; I knew I was in deep shit. If he told Charlie, I was dead. I was going off of no sleep. I had just given my entire life savings to Charlie, so he could save the ranch and save Bella's horse. I had given up my one and only dream I had for myself, knowing I wouldn't get anything in return. He picked the wrong time to start confronting me about something that was none of his fucking business in the first place. I was mad and wanted him to let it go. I was mad at Charlie. I was mad at Bella. I was mad at Jake. But most importantly I was mad at myself.
I tried to play it off as no big deal at first, trying to get him to leave me alone and let it go. I wanted to tell him I loved her, but if I did, I knew it would just cause more trouble. So, I went the other route to make him understand she wasn't worth it and he was wasting his time if he thought she would ever be interested in him. She had no intention of staying or trying to make this work. Even after I told her how I couldn't do the long distance thing and I wasn't going to be used once or twice a year when she came back. I was referring to Rebecca when I said it, but I meant it more for her than anything. It was my last ditch effort to get her to admit she loved me too, and want to stay. I wanted her to say it first, so I didn't feel like a fucking idiot for saying it, if she didn't feel the same way. However she never did and the next morning we got in an argument over Midnight, once again. By then, I knew it was over. I meant nothing to her and I probably never had.
I took my aggression and frustration out on Jake or maybe it was more on Bella. I didn't really know. All I knew was I was broken inside. Everything I ever wanted was gone. I was no better than my parent's. I was lost and pathetic and absolutely nothing.
I never wanted her to hear what I said. Even after I said it, I felt sick for saying something so hurtful about her. I didn't mean a word of it. Bella was different. She came here being the spoiled rich bitch I expected her to be, but she changed. She was happy and caring. She was determined. She was a natural when it came to horses. I admired her for everything she was. I'd never known anyone like her before and all I ever thought about was her and testing her with new challenges. I wanted to be with her every minute of every day.
But now I fucked up worse than I could have ever imagined. I didn't blame her for kneeing me the way she did. I definitely wasn't expecting it, but I didn't blame her. She was mad at me for what I said and she had every right to be. I hurt her worse than she could have ever hurt me.
I didn't sleep at all during the night. I tried numerous times to go to sleep, but the pain she caused me and the constant thinking of how to fix this, prevented me from sleeping. I knew there was no fixing this. I knew it was impossible to even try. She was leaving today with her snobby friends to have her party and go back to California. I didn't plan to go to her party after what happened yesterday. I'm pretty sure she made it clear, I wasn't invited.
I finally dragged myself out of bed and went down into the barn to start my day. I let out a few of the horses into the field to graze and began cleaning out their stalls. I heard a ruckus out in the corral, so I slowly walked out to see what was happening. Jake was on one of the horses and she was kicking and bucking quite a bit. None of the horses did that without some sort of coercion. What were they doing?
"What's going on?" I shouted. Charlie turned in my direction only for a second, before focusing on Jake once again.
"I'm teaching Jake how to ride a bucking horse," he answered.
"Why?" I asked, in irritation. This was the one thing I never liked about Charlie. Just as I asked, Jake fell off the horse, hitting the ground hard. He groaned from the pain.
"Get used to it, Jake," Charlie laughed. "I'll be right back, shake it off and catch your breath."
Charlie walked towards me, motioning for me to follow him. We walked around the corner of the barn, before he stopped and turned towards me.
"You and I both know I've got to start bringing some money in, if I want to keep this place going. It's only a matter of time before I run out of money again. Unfortunately this town has ears everywhere and some people found out about my predicament and started talking. It turns out there are quite a few people interested in training for the rodeo and for shows coming up. I've offered to train anyone interested. It's a job and something I'm good at. I have to do what I can," he explained.
"You know how I feel about riding bucking horses. You have Molly out there, who never bucks or kicks, yet right now she is. What did you do to her?"
"It doesn't take a lot to get a horse to kick. All you have to do is tighten the strap around their waist a little too tight," he defended. "It doesn't hurt her and she'll be fine as soon as I take it off."
"No, she won't. She'll start to fear being saddled. She'll start kicking when she has no reason to, because she was taught to do it," I argued.
"Edward, what do you want me to do?"
"I can't help you with this. You know, I'm against it," I affirmed.
"I would never ask you to. But in my defense, Edward, I'm not only teaching people to ride bucking horses. I have a few who want to learn how to do barrel racing and hurdles. I even have one young man lined up, who wants to learn how to do roping. Jake isn't even interested in bucking horses. He wants to ride the bulls. He thinks they're more exciting. But until we have access to a bull, I can only teach him on the horses," he explained.
"I don't like this," I revealed.
"I didn't expect you would. I'm sorry Edward, but I have to do something," Charlie reasoned.
He walked out of the barn and back to the corral where Jake was. I slammed my fist into the wall out of frustration. Everything was falling apart.
I went back to my chores, mumbling swears under my breath. I was so mad about everything. I felt like I was going to explode from anger. I needed to get away to think. As soon as I was done cleaning out the stalls and filling up the water trough and a few other chores I had to get done, I went for a drive. I hopped in my truck and headed down to first beach. I hadn't been down to the beach all summer. I sat down on the sand, watching the waves coming in and thinking about everything I'd been going through lately.
The thing is, I hadn't had any big problems, until Bella came along. I couldn't really figure out if it was a curse or a blessing in disguise. She definitely changed everything. I knew watching Charlie teach people to ride in the rodeo would be too much for me to handle. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I couldn't do it anymore. Maybe it was time for me to move on. I'd been here longer than I had ever been anywhere else. If I put some distance between anything, reminding me of Bella, I would be able to get over her quicker. I had to get over her. I couldn't have her and I couldn't hold on to something I never had in the first place. I needed to get on with my life.
I hated leaving Charlie. I didn't want to leave the horses either. But I needed to figure out my life and decide what I wanted to do with it. I couldn't stay here forever. Charlie and I knew this time would come eventually. This would help him out too. I'd be one less person he'd have to pay. Jake and Charlie could handle the chores without me.
I stayed on the beach for most of the day, until I felt a drop of rain hit my arm. I looked up at the sky, seeing the storm rolling in.
I hopped up and headed back to the truck. I'd need to help Charlie and Jake get all the horses in and everything covered and put away. I rushed up the road, pulling into the driveway as the rain began pouring down. I jumped out, racing across the field to help Charlie, who was struggling to get Red and Sunny to follow him to the barn. I grabbed Sunny, leading him in, knowing Red would follow behind her baby. Jake was busy covering up the equipment. I rounded up the last of the horses and got them in the barn. The three of us stopped at the front entrance of the barn, sighing in relief at getting it all done rather quickly.
""It's coming down pretty hard," Charlie observed. "I'm not sure I want those girls driving in the storm. I wonder if I could convince them to stay one more night."
"They're still here?" I asked.
"Yeah," he laughed. "Bella's friends are much like she was when she got here. They sleep all day long. Bella went for a ride early this morning."
"Is she back?" I asked.
"I'm sure she is. I was so busy with Jake, I don't remember seeing her come in," Charlie answered. I looked to Jake wondering if he saw her.
"I never saw her come in either," he admitted.
"What horse did she take?" I asked in a panicked tone. I glanced between the two of them. Charlie got the same panicked look on his face.
"She told me to tell you she was taking Midnight out," Jake revealed, in a timid voice. I glanced at Charlie. He took off running across the yard towards the house to search for her. I ran to the end of the barn, looking in Midnight's stall. He was gone. I knew she was out there somewhere. My heart sunk. I couldn't breathe. Instinct kicked in and I rushed to the tack room, grabbing my saddle off the hook. I quickly ran into Chester's stall, saddling him up and mounting him. I rode him out of the barn, meeting Charlie at the entrance. He was out of breath and in a panic.
"She's not in the house," he shouted. I took off on Chester, running across the field and into the forest. I could barely see two feet in front of me, from the sheets of rain coming down. I went by the creek first and called out her name. She was nowhere to be found. I didn't know where else she could be. She always came down to the creek. I thought over the places I'd taken her. The only other place I could think she might be at was the meadow. I kicked my heals into Chester, making him run again. He wanted to slow down along the cliffs, but I didn't let him. I had to find her, before she got hurt. She could already be in serious trouble. Midnight was not used to the storms. He could get spooked so easily out here in unfamiliar territory. This is what I warned her about.
I got smacked in the face with brush numerous times and just about got my head taken off, by a low branch. But I didn't stop.
"Bella," I shouted as I came upon the meadow. I couldn't see her anywhere. She wasn't here either. I rode along the edges of the meadow, still calling out her name. She may have been here and took a wrong turn somewhere.
I was just about to start searching another area, when I heard a loud whinny. I turned my head towards the sound and spotted Midnight, through the trees. He was whinnying and rocking his head in distress. I rushed through the brush towards him.
As I reached him, I noticed Bella wasn't on him. I looked down at his feet, seeing her lying in a heap on the ground under him. I gasped at the site. I was sure she was dead the way she was laying. I had never cried before, but seeing her like this, killed me. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I jumped off Chester. I ran over to her, picking her lifeless body up in my arms.
"Bella," I cried. "Please, you need to wake up. You can't die on me." I held her close to me and sobbed. I heard the smallest sound come from her. I held her out, looking at her face. Once again, I heard the smallest sigh come from her. She wasn't dead.
I wiped my tears away, looking over her, to see where she was hurt. She had a branch stuck through the side of her leg along with a gash at the back of her head. I could see bruises forming where she had most likely been trampled by Midnight. Her shirt was shredded and there were cuts along her stomach, where she must have been scratched by the branches. My only thought was trying to save her.
I pulled off her tattered shirt and wrapped it around her head to stop the bleeding. I slowly grabbed the branch and pulled on it as carefully as I possibly could to get it out of her leg. She tensed up and let out a small scream.
I sighed in relief, knowing she was still alive. I wasn't just imagining the sound I heard from her. I removed my own shirt, wrapping it around her leg and tying it off as tight as I could.
"Edward," she mumbled.
"I'm here. You're going to be okay. I need to get you out of here," I said.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I…."
"Bella, don't. You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have just told you when I had the chance. You wouldn't be here if I had. I should have told you I loved you," I admitted. I watched as her eyes, fluttered closed and her body went limp again. "Bella?" I grabbed her wrist, feeling for a pulse. It was weak, but it was there. I picked her up and carried her out of the brush over to Chester. It was hard, but somehow I was able to get back on Chester with Bella nestled in my arms. I grabbed the reins and slowly made my way out of the brush. I knew she needed to get to a doctor as soon as possible, but I couldn't risk hurting her more by going too fast.
Somehow Midnight was still connected to Bella. I wasn't sure if she was still holding the reins or what, but he followed right behind us.
Bella never did regain consciousness, as I rode out of the trees. It was starting to get dark when the barn finally came into view. There were police cars and an ambulance sitting in the driveway. Everyone came running towards me when they saw me coming.
The ambulance crew met me first, carefully taking her from my arms. I got off Chester, dropping the reins and finally seeing Midnight's reins were wrapped around Bella's foot. I removed them from her foot and tossed them aside.
"Bella," Charlie cried, leaning down next to her on the ground. I kneeled down taking her hand in mine. The paramedics started looking her over and taking her vitals. The police held everyone else back. I did notice Bella's friends along with Billy and Jake, but there were a few other people I didn't even recognize. Or maybe I didn't want to recognize them in the moment. I figured Charlie called as many people as he could to search for her.
"She has a big gash on her head, where I think she may have hit a rock or something. There was a branch punctured through her leg also. I had to pull it out and tie off the blood flow. I think she may have been stepped on a couple times too. I'm not sure though. She was conscious for a few minutes, right after I pulled the branch out, but she hasn't been awake since," I explained everything I could to the paramedics. I didn't know what information they needed, so I just told them everything I could. "Is she going to be okay?" I asked.
"She needs to get to the hospital, but she's alive," one of the paramedics answered. They moved her to the stretcher and covered her with a blanket. I never let go of her hand, all the time they worked around her.
"We need to move her, now," the paramedic announced, looking down at my hand. I carefully placed her hand on the board and leaned down to her ear.
"I love you, Bella," I whispered. I didn't think anyone could hear me, but I didn't care if they did. I stayed behind as they wheeled her over to the ambulance. Charlie followed behind her, climbing into the ambulance with her.
The ambulance pulled out of the driveway and the cop cars followed behind. I ran towards the barn and up to my room to throw on some dry clothes. I ran back downstairs, running into Jake, who was putting the horses away. I grabbed him and pinned him up against the wall.
"What the fuck were you thinking, letting her take that horse out? Do you realize you could have killed her? She would have died if I hadn't found her," I shouted.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't know," he cried. "I should have told you."
"Edward, you need to stop," Billy demanded. "Getting mad at Jake isn't going to change anything. Just be glad you found her when you did." I let out a throaty sigh, shoving him one last time. It wasn't even his fault. It was mine. All of this was my fault. I was just taking my anger out on him once again. I ran back out into the rain and towards my truck. I hopped in and sped down the road towards the hospital.
When I got there, I ran in, meeting Charlie in the waiting room. I could see Bella's two friends huddled in a corner, crying. Charlie didn't look like he was doing much better than they were. I feared the worse.
"What's happening?" I asked.
"She's in surgery right now. The doctor is supposed to come out and let us know how she's doing when they're done," he explained. I sighed, in relief, running my hand through my wet hair.
"Thank you, Edward," Charlie said. "She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Everyone was searching and we couldn't find her. How did you know where to look?"
"I didn't. I just searched everywhere I could think of, she might be," I replied, sitting down in a chair. He sat down next to me, looking over me skeptically.
"What was it you whispered to her, before the ambulance took her away?" He wondered.
"It was nothing," I lied.
He hummed, unconvinced by my answer. "Well, I thought you might like to know, she woke up in the ambulance for a brief second and said she loved you too." My head shot up, meeting his eyes.
"Charlie… I… I mean…," I stuttered, trying to find the right words to explain.
He patted my back with his hand. "There's no need to explain anything, son. I'm not as stupid as you both may think I am." We were both silent after he admitted he knew. He probably knew all along. Maybe he was even hoping for it. He never tried to stop it, so he obviously didn't have a problem with us being together.
We waited for over two hours for some sort of news. After a while, Jake, Billy and Sarah showed up to wait with us. I did pull Jake aside and apologize for what I did earlier. He didn't seem fazed by it and told me to forget about it.
Finally the doctor came out, meeting with all of us. I took a deep breath preparing for the news.
"She's had a lot of blood loss. But whoever it is who cut off the blood flow with the shirts did a really good thing. It may have actually saved her life. She had a small amount of internal bleeding we had to go in and fix. Mostly though, she just needed quite a few stitches. She hasn't come too yet, but there was no brain damage we could see, so I think she's just exhausted and needs to get some rest," he explained. "We'll keep her here overnight, and check in on how she's doing again, in the morning."
"Thank you, doctor," Charlie said, shaking his hand.
"Since you're her father, I can allow you a few minutes to check in on her. But for right now, I ask that all other visitors wait until tomorrow to see her. She needs as much rest as possible."
Charlie followed the doctor back to the room to see Bella. Billy and Sarah decided they should go home and said they'd be back in the morning.
I turned to Bella's friends, who I still had never properly met. I didn't even know their names.
"If both of you want to stay at Charlie's again for the night, I'm sure he'd be fine with that. I know where he keeps the extra key if you want to leave now. I can let him know when he comes out," I offered.
"You saved her life," The one with short dark hair stated, through her tears. I nodded my head. The next thing I knew, she was wrapping her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. Seconds later, the other one joined in on the hug. I patted both of them on the back, awkwardly.
They pulled away, wiping at their tears with a tissue. We all kind of stared at each other, unsure what to say.
I sat back down in a chair, waiting for Charlie. They both did the same, to wait for Charlie. When Charlie came out, he looked much more relieved than he did before.
"How is she?" One of the girls asked.
"She looks much better now," he answered with a smile. "You girls must be exhausted. You're both welcome to stay at the house with me for the night, if you'd like."
"We would really appreciate it. We don't have anywhere else to go. We can give you a ride too." Charlie nodded his head in agreement, grabbing his stuff off the table.
"Edward, are you coming back to the ranch?" He asked, before he headed out the doors.
"No, I think I'll stay here," I replied. He walked over to me, looking me in the face sternly.
"There isn't anything more you can do. You need to get some sleep, son. We can come back first thing in the morning," he suggested.
"I'd still like to stay here, Charlie. I can just sit in the waiting room. I'll be fine," I insisted.
"Well, I can't stop you. Although you might be more at ease watching over her in her room," he smirked. He shook my hand, leaning in and whispering her room number in my ear.
I watched out the window, waiting for them to pull out of the parking lot. As soon as they were gone I slowly walked down the halls, searching for her room number. When I found it, I glanced around, making sure, no one could see me, before I slowly pushed the door open.
The room was dark and quiet, with only the hum of the machines. I walked over to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair next to her. I just sat there for a few minutes, looking her over and watching her chest rise and fall with every breath she took. I could watch her breathe for the rest of my life and still not get enough of it. Just knowing she was still breathing was comfort alone.
I reached out my hand for hers, holding it tightly. I laid my head against the bed and closed my eyes, bringing her hand to my cheek. The feel of her warmth, against my skin, sent chills down my spine. Nothing in my life was ever going to be more important than she was. The minute I thought I lost her, everything I'd been angry about and everything I'd been through, meant nothing, if she was gone.
She, was everything, my life; my Bella.
Thank you all for the reviews and the constant encouragement to continue writing this story. I appreciate every single one of them and I'm so glad so many people like this story. I hope this chapter made everyone a little happier.