Snuggled together in their bedroom that night Denise sighed, "I can't believe he's going, Frank. And you a few weeks later."
"I know but he'll be okay, we both will," he whispered offering as much assurance as he could.
"I know, it's just going to be strange not having you both here, I've gotten used to it. Would you do something for me?" she asked. "Tomorrow when he goes?"
"Sure honey, what is it?" He'd do anything she needed him to do short of stopping their son from going on.
"Hold my hand?" she requested. "Just hold my hand so I have the strength to let him go."
"Of course I will, baby," he said and held her closer.
She made a small whimper.
He loosened his hold on her "Did I hurt you honey?"
"No, my eyes hurt," she told him. "They burn and ache."
"It's probably from crying, just close them and get some rest."
"I haven't cried for hours," she said. "They hurt."
Frank was starting to get worried "They're burning really bad?" he clarified.
"No, they hurt, they ache," she replied a little annoyed he kept asking her.
"Let me get you a cool cloth," he said. "Maybe you're getting cold, hmm?"
"I really hope not, I hate being sick."
"I know, let me get that cloth," he said and went to do just that.
He came back and she had her hand over her eyes trying to stop the pain.
"Just just keep this on and it'll be better," Frank said. "Try and sleep, you'll be better in the morning."
"Okay," she said taking the cloth, anything to help. "Will you stay with me?"
"Yeah, I'm tired, I'm going to sleep myself," he said. "Just rest, if you still hurt in the morning we'll go see the doctor as soon as Jeremy leaves."
"Okay," she said and put the cloth over her eyes and when Frank laid down she snuggled to him and went to sleep.
The pain was better in the morning but the numbness in her left leg troubled her badly. She had to keep stopping so Frank wouldn't see how weak it was.
Frank noticed that she kept stopping though she couldn't hide much from him. "You okay honey?"
"Yeah," she said."Just a little out of sorts. I'm fine; I think I might be getting a little cold."
She noticed the worried look in his eyes and added, "I'm okay, really."
He nodded, "Hurry because we only have an hour before we need to leave."
She nodded and tried to hurry, she was starting to feel really weak but she didn't say anything because she didn't want Frank to worry or make her stay home.
She managed to go to the plane and stand and walk without falling. She held her baby so tight Frank had to pull her back so she'd let him go. She was quiet on the way home and into the night.
She hadn't said anything since Jeremy had left and then she told him she was going to lay down, when he looked at the clock it was only eight o'clock.
He let her go; he knew it was hard on her seeing their baby go off to war. He joined her an hour later, she was asleep so he simply held her close. She slept straight through the night and into the next morning. He got up and made her some tea figuring she did have a cold, he wasn't prepared for the loud thud and the terrified sound of his name. "Frank!"
He hurried to the bed room, when he got there, Denise was on the floor and looked petrified.
She had her eyes closed, "Frank..." she said when she heard him. "My leg and my eyes...can't see, it's like a fog."
Terrified he picked her up quickly and carried her to the car and hurried to the hospital.
He listened as she described her symptoms, "About six weeks ago my left leg was going numb and I thought I'd pinched a nerve, it comes and goes but it's done it more lately and sometimes I can't feel my foot on the ground at all," she told the doctor. "Now my eyes ache, and it's like I'm looking through a filter, a greyscale filter."
"Follow my light," the doctor instructed. "Tell me what you feel when you move your eyes."
"It hurts," she whimpered.
"More when you move them or less?" he asked.
"More, a lot more."
He nodded, "We'll get you something for the pain and I'm going to call in a consult and we'll go from there."
She nodded and the doctor left the room.
"Why didn't you tell me about your leg?" Frank asked as soon as they were alone.
"I didn't want you to worry," she sighed. "And you would have."
"Don't do that again, honey," he said. "You might be very sick, how do you think I'd feel if you got so sick while I was gone that maybe I lose you and I can't even get back to tend you or hold you or anything?"
"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I was just trying…"
"It's okay, just don't do it again, all right?" he said and held her hand until the doctor came. "I'm Dr. Thompson, neurology," he said. "And you Mrs. Sherwood, are experiencing numbness in your leg and now visual impairments right?"
She nodded slowly. She already knew the possibility, seeing him almost confirmed it.
"Okay, I have my suspicions, so for now let's get a contrast MRI, and see where we are," he said. "It'll take a few hours."
Denise nodded and they took her down for the MRI while Frank sat in the waiting room waiting for her to get done, it took several hours, but he was finally told he could go back to her, the doctor told them it would take time to get the results back band he would call them as soon as he knew anything. Frank signed papers for Denise and she was released to go home, he helped her to the car and drove them home in silence both of their minds spinning.
The doctor had given her eyedrops and a prescription for steroids to help reduce the inflammation and see if the symptoms subsided at all. When Frank got back from the PX, he found her in front of the computer reading up on optic neuritis and other conditions. She had the screen blown up to about 200% to help her see it.
"Still not any better honey?" he asked rubbing her back.
"No, I can barely see this and its blown up to 200%."
"Denise, don't do that," he said. "Don't strain your eyes and don't self diagnose. You know better."
"I'm just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me! I hate being like this, I can't see and I can barely stand!"
"Well, if it's bad or stays like this they might not make me deploy right off," he said. "That's something. But come with me to the sofa, I want to talk to you about something."
"Okay," she said and got up but sat back down because her legs were numb. "I can't."
"Arms around my neck," he said. "Come on."
"Frank you can't keep picking me up, you're going to hurt your back."
"I can and I will keep picking you up, now stop arguing," he said. "If I hurt my back, it'll heal."
"Okay," she said giving in and letting him pick her up.
He sat her on his lap and held her hands, "If this is something serious, something bad, I'm going to resign," he told her."Resign and stay here and take care of you."
"Frank, you love the army I can't ask you to do that," she said sincerely.
"You didn't," Frank said. "I love the Army but I love you more. And I take my vows seriously."
"Okay," she agreed. "Let's just hope this isn't serious. I don't like being like this."
"I know," he said. "But for now, you rest all you can and I will take care of you and everything else, okay?"
"Okay," she said laying on his shoulder. "I love you."
"I love you," he said. "Now, your list on the fridge says, to make banana bread for the bake sale so...I guess I'm going to learn to make banana bread."
"No, I'll call Claudia Joy, she can make it," she said.
"I said I was taking care of you and everything else, so where's the recipe?" he asked.
"There isn't one," she laughed lightly. "I just do it."
"Call her," he said and laughed. "No wonder it tastes different every time."
She laughed and got the phone and called Claudia Joy and told her she wasn't feeling well and asked her to make the banana bread.
That was easy enough and soon Frank requested, "Let's go to dinner."
"Okay," she said, she knew it was going to be hell trying to walk not being able to see and her legs being numb but she didn't want to turn him down
"It's the left leg mostly right?" he asked.
"Yeah," she replied.
He stood to her left and let her use him as kind of a cane and it did help her balance. He took them to Carelli's a favorite place where she had the menu memorized, and that served large portions of food. She could make out the contrast of textures on her plate. She wiped a few tears from her eyes.
She hadn't wanted Frank to see them but it was too late, she had been caught.
When he asked why she sighed, "You are too good to me. You thought about this didn't you?"
"Yes I sure did," he said.
She smiled and ate her meal but quickly she was tired.
She didn't want to ruin this, he had gone though a lot of trouble picking this place out and she didn't want to ruin it by asking him to take her home so she didn't say anything.
Frank had just finished his meal and looked at Denise and realized how tired she was but she wasn't saying anything, she was trying to hide it and pretend she was okay.
"I'm getting a headache," he said. "Mind if we go home?"
"No, not at all," she said. "Are you okay?"
"Just a little headache," he said. "A little tired."
"Okay, let's go home and you can lay down and rest." She liked that role better, the caretaker.
He nodded and held her arm again and she started to fuss over him, "I want to take your temperature."
"I'm fine honey," he assured her.
"Still,just for my piece of mind, you were pretty sick not long ago and running after me isn't helping."
He agreed and it was perfect normal.
"Okay no fever, anything else hurt?"
"Just a headache," he said.
"Okay, let me get you something for it and you can lay and rest."
"You too, you're leg..." he fussed.
"Is fine," she said even though it wasn't, she went and got him some aspirin and water and brought it back to him.
He took it and pulled her to lie with him. He felt fine and his head didn't even hurt.
She snuggled up to him and she tried to stay awake but she was just too tired and fell asleep in minutes.
That was the routine for the next week until her MRI was back and they were called to the neurologist office. "I'm relieved he didn't refer me to an oncologist," she said. "Nothing would be as bad as that."
"I know," he said and held her hand as they waited for the doctor.
"Okay, the good news Mrs. Sherwood is we know what's been troubling you," he said.
"What is it?"she asked nervously.
"We' don't know what kind, and you'll have to have another event before the diagnosis can be official but there are lesions on your brain. It is a form of multiple sclerosis."
"Am I going to be okay?"she asked.
"Well it is a chronic condition, and depending on the type it can be debilitating or it can come and go, or it might start as a come and go and then gradually become debilitation, it's a crap shoot really. How are you feeling on the steroids?"
"A little better," she said, her hand was now shaking in Frank's, this was not the news she was hoping for, she had hoped it was nothing even though she knew better.
"Okay, let's add another medication and I'll see you in a week and we'll see where we are," he said. "If you go into a remission with no lingering deficits, we can probably safely say it's relapsing remitting and treat it with preventative medications."
She nodded. "Thank you doctor," she said and she and Frank left, she was quiet the whole way home and stared at her lap.
"It could be worse," he said once they were inside. "It could be something with no treatment. Something that would take you from me."
She nodded but still didn't speak and when he put the keys and his jacket down she went and snuggled to him laying her head on his shoulder
"Okay," he sighed. "Okay, tell me."
"I'm scared Frank," she said, she didn't admit being scared often so when she did he knew she was really scared. Though lately she'd been a lot more skittish that he liked.
He sighed, "Can you be on your own a little while?"
"Yeah," she said pulling back, she knew this was hard on him to and she was trying to be strong for both of them. "I'll be fine."
"I won't be an hour okay," he said and kissed her before leaving for building one.
Denise sat on the couch and turned on the TV to try and distract herself.
"I need to see General Holden," Frank said to his aid. "And it can't wait."
"Okay," she said quickly. "He is in his office Major, go on in."
Frank stood in front of his friend's desk, took a breath, and reached into his jacket pocket. He had tears burning his eyes.
"Frank, what's wrong?"
He put the envelope down. "My request for terminal leave, Sir."
"Terminal leave?" he asked confused. "What's wrong?"
"Denise is ill, might need constant care," he said. "And that's my duty."
"When did she find this out?" he asked. "What's wrong with her?"
"Today, she's been sick for awhile, on an off the last few months," he replied. "It's a type of MS, they don't know which type it is. If she becomes disabled I have to care for her."
"Of course," Michael agreed quickly knowing argument was futile. "And if you need anything you know where to find me"
"I don't want to do this," he said sitting down. "I don't want to leave the Army and I don't want her to be sick and not be able to fix her."
"I know, maybe it won't be as bad as you think, her condition I mean," he comforted.
"It's bad now, her leg is numb, she can barely see and I know she's fatigued but she won't admit it," he said. "
"I'm sorry Frank," he said sincerely. "If you need anything, either of you, all you have to do is call."
"I need you to grant my request," he said. "I have close to a year saved."
"Of course," Michael said again thinking of other courses his friend might take.
He left then and didn't speak to anyone on the way out.
Frank went home, he went inside quietly hoping Denise was getting some sleep but no such luck,she was sitting on the couch looking at a book straining trying to see the words.
He took the book from her hands, "Don't strain your eyes. What part are you up to?"
She sighed, "Nevermind. It's hopeless."
"I'll read to you," he said. "You like that, right?"
"Yeah," she said. "I just want to be able to do it myself"
"Soon," he said. "Which part?"
"Chapter 4."
He began reading to her and about six pages in he realized her was reading a romance novel, the part he was on was exceptionally steamy and he paused and blushed.
Denise could see him blushing even though she couldn't see his face and started laughing.
"This is not the kind of thing people should write about," he said. "That stuff is private."
This only made her laugh harder "And here I was thinking of writing one about our love life," she teased,.
"I have a better idea," he said and moved to the sofa to illustrate his point. They both knew this was a knew rode, but they'd navigate it together in love.
Nine Months Later
By the grace of God and perhaps Michael as well, Frank was kept state side for the next nine months while Denise adjusted and recovered most of her sight. They kept the diagnosis to themselves, Denise passing her cane off as an old injury that flared up. Aside from that, she was fine, even the crippling fatigue had eased leaving her independent.
Now they stood together on the tarmac, "You sure you'll be okay? If you get a flare up just tell Michael and he'll get me back as fast as he can. You are the only thing that's important to me, okay?"
"Okay," she said for the tenth time. "Don't worry honey, I'll be fine."
She reached into her purse and gave him his letter, "Be careful. I don't want to have to keep my side of the in sickness and in health for a long time, okay." She held him close. "I love you so much."
"I love you too baby," he said and held her close for a moment longer.
They didn't part until it was time for him to leave. She kept on her brave face, he kept on his, and they would until his return a year later to find the cane was still the only effect of her illness. It seemed they were both good at dodging bullets and the both new that when one did hit the target, they fight it's affects as one.