Disclaimer: Oh good gravy NO I don't own Labyrinth. Or the moon. But I'm telling you, just as soon as they start auctioning off bits of either one of them, I am there.

Chapter Nine

Jareth had yet to make an appearance.

The goblins had been back for two whole days, forty-eight entire hours, and there had been not a single glittery hint of their king.

I was starting to get a little discouraged.

Operation: Speed Demon had been meticulously plotted and perfected, covering not only which roads I intended to take, but what music we would listen to, what I was going to wear, and even how I was going to get Jareth into the car.

But it was entirely dependent on him actually showing up.

As I lingered over drying an owl-printed coffee mug, I admitted I might be sulking just a bit, and sighed.

"This is silly, Sarah," I told myself firmly, and put the mug away. "You have plenty of things to keep you occupied. Besides, it's sort of immoral to be using one guy's borrowed car to take another guy on a joyride, isn't it?" I argued, but found myself glancing longingly at the folded-up map on the kitchen table anyways.

I growled.

Bloody sap, I chastised myself, turning back to my dishes.

Perhaps sensing my emotional turmoil, Domino trotted out from my bedroom, happily gnawing on his favorite chew toy (an old shoe he'd wrested away from a goblin) and dropped his front paws, wiggling his butt in the air and growling playfully. Come on, Mom, let's play!

I smiled apologetically and turned around, reaching for my towel. "Not now, Mister Puppy, Momma's got to do dishes," I told him, sneaking a glance over my shoulder. His tail had stopped wagging and his cute little head was cocked to the side in confusion. He whined inquisitively. I reached to put a couple of glasses in the sink, moving as slowly as I could, before whipping around without warning and dropping into an aggressive crouch, growling at my puppy.

He immediately hunkered back down, tail wagging excitedly again, and growled back, grinning around the shoe at me.

I took a quick step forward, tensed to chase him if he bolted. He leaned backwards but held his ground. He growled in challenge.

I lunged.

Of course, my ungainly human limbs weren't nearly as quick as his evolution-perfected hunter's physique, and he raced off to run around my coffee table. I pursued, laughing as my socks slid on the linoleum kitchen floor.

"Resistance is futile! The shoe will be mine!" I crowed, and Domino gave a muffled bark in response. I chased him into my room and over my bed, diving around the bed post at the last second and snatching the shoe as he ran by.

"Hah!" I yelled in triumph, and tore off back into the living room, leaping over the couch and dashing into the kitchen, intending to duck down and hide. I was going too fast, though, and my socks held no purchase on the slick floor, so I used my momentum and jumped onto the island that separated my living room and kitchen, rolling over the countertop and landing back on the carpeted floor.

I felt a twinge of regret that there was no one here but my puppy to see it - I couldn't have duplicated that move for a million bucks.

I heard Domino's nails clicking on the tile and his surprised bark, and I ran back towards my bedroom to hide before he located me -

And nearly collided with the tall blonde man suddenly standing in my living room.

I shrieked and backpedaled, tripping over my feet and toppling backwards, crashing over the back of my couch and falling gracelessly to the floor, my legs still tangled amongst the couch cushions. I lay there for a moment, simply appreciating the myriad of aches I had just developed.

"Sarah!" I heard Jareth exclaim, and I decided I liked that he sounded worried.

"Could you not do that, maybe?" I grouched as I tried to convince myself that moving was a good idea, with dubious progress. Domino trotted over to me, growling as he passed Jareth, and licked my chin. I pushed him off and patted his head in thanks, tossing his shoe in the direction of my bedroom. He cast a warning glance at Jareth before going after it.

Jareth grinned in an entirely unapologetic manner and leaned casually against my couch, completely ignoring my puppy.

"Sorry, Princess, but you just startle so energetically. It's extremely entertaining," he said. I tried to glower at him, but he was too busy molding his eyes over my hips and crash-exposed stomach to notice it.

Blushing, I wondered if there were other reasons for making me tumble around as well. I straightened and moved my limbs into a less compromising position, cocking an eyebrow at Jareth when he finally made eye contact.

"Enjoy the view?" I asked with a smirk. Jareth grinned in a hungry, butterfly-inducing manner, leaning forward.

"Quite," he replied in that silk-and-sin voice of his, and I shivered involuntarily, feeling things that should not be affected by him press against my shirt and betray my reaction. I hurriedly rolled over and clambered to my feet.

"I was wondering if you were ever going to make an appearance," I said coolly as I brushed myself off. He arched an eyebrow, and I felt a momentary jealous pang that he could convey such amused arrogance with something as simple as a single freaking eyebrow.

"Implying you missed me, precious thing?" he asked lowly, stepping close to me and eying my neck as though it were a decidedly tempting treat, and I felt my legs go a tad wobbly.

YES, my hormones screeched, while the pebbled things against my shirtfront started doing an impressive impersonation of the Eiffel Tower as they tried to go to him. I mentally chastised them, and tried to convert them to moderate hills instead.

Doing my best to look like I was utterly unaffected, I rolled my eyes and brushed past him to the table and picked up a green silk scarf I'd dug out of my closet a few days ago in preparation.

"Close your eyes," I told Jareth as I walked back to him, holding the scarf up to tie around his eyes.

He looked at the makeshift blindfold and smiled at me in a decidedly naughty manner.

"Sarah?" he said in a curious,-but-not-at-all-opposed-to-bondage tone, while his teeth glinted distractingly.

I blushed furiously. "It's not what you think," I said quickly. Jareth gave me a vaguely disbelieving look, but obligingly closed his eyes. He stood cooperatively still until I had secured the fabric before spinning around with disconcerting speed, wrapping an arm around my waist and holding me a good deal closer than was entirely comfortable.

He leaned down, and for an exhilarating, terrifying second, I was absolutely sure he was going to kiss me, but he veered at the last moment and bent to my neck. I could feel his exhaled breath on my skin, and chill bumps tingled into existence over every inch of my flesh. His hair brushed against my lips, teasing and tickling, and my quickened, irregular breath fluttered the strands. I could feel my heart doing an energetic tap-dance against my ribs, and the molten lava that had replaced my blood was slowly creeping up into my cheeks.

I felt him inhale, skimming from my jaw to my shoulder. He paused for a moment, his lips a mere fraction of an inch from my skin, and made a quietly pleased, masculine sound of approval, sending a little thrilling jolt through me. I remembered hearing that the other senses magnified when one was denied, and I wondered vaguely what I smelled like to him.

"Honey and sunlight," he said softly, and I realized belatedly that I had asked my question out loud. "And lavender bubble bath. I take it you've enjoyed my gift?" he said, a little teasingly.

"Very much," I agreed, smiling, and decided that the breathy quality to my voice indicated a need for a bit of personal space. "Now, I would be much obliged if you would release me, Goblin King. I sort of had something planned, here."

Jareth's eyebrows were even more expressive while wearing a blindfold. "Indeed?" he said, and I was sure he was thinking of all sorts of extremely entertaining pastimes involving a lot of energy and very little clothing.

I was very glad he was wearing that blindfold.

"Indeed," I confirmed.

"And you're certain I must let go of you for this?" he asked reluctantly.

"Yes, Jareth," I said, and grinned. "Trust me. I've got a surprise."

"Could you not have led me down here and then blindfolded me?"

"Just shut up and walk," I said exasperatedly, leading the sightless Jareth down the stairs of my apartment building, perhaps just a tad quicker than was safe - between his incessant heckling while I was changing clothes, and his smart remarks about my planning abilities, the idea of watching His Nibs topple down the stairs had become rather appealing.

"I only mean that this seems a bit -"

I stopped, releasing his hand and propping my fists on my hips angrily, despite the fact that he couldn't see the gesture through the silk scarf I'd tied around his head. He halted at the lack of guidance, and his hand twitched for a moment, as though he planned to take off the blindfold, but instead he returned it to his side and stood nonchalantly.

"Jareth, if you say one more word before we reach the bottom of these stairs, I'm going to trip you and laugh uproariously while you tumble ass-over-teakettle all the way down, am I clear?"

He smirked, cocking an eyebrow above his blindfold. "Quite."

"Good," I nodded sharply, seizing his gloved hand again and tugging him the rest of the way down the steps.

I opened the building's front door and smiled at the warm breeze and sunshiney goodness that met me on the other side, sighing happily. Over the past two days, I had spent every spare moment hoping and wheedling and begging whatever deity might be listening to grant me a bit of unseasonably warm weather to counter the unseasonably frigid weather the goblins had incurred. Apparently, they had decided this morning that I had suffered enough for a while, and granted my desperate pleas.

Jareth lifted the edge of the blindfold with his thumb, tilting his head back and peering around. "Am I allowed to speak, yet?"

I smacked his hand away and pulled him towards the Challenger. "That depends on what you're going to say," I retorted, digging the keys out of my pocket and releasing Jareth's hand to open the door. "If it's something smart, overtly suggestive, needling, or sarcastic, then I continue with your sentence of silence."

"You could have simply said no."

"That qualifies under the 'smart' category. Silence," I said with a smile, and pulled off his blindfold, presenting the car in my best Vanna White impression.

Jareth blinked in the sudden brightness for a moment, glanced at the car, and firmly glued his eyes to my legs, exactly as I planned.

I've got legs a mile long, and I know how to use them.

Thanks to the beautiful weather, I was able to break out a pair of flatteringly brief shorts, strategically chosen to create an inviting place to rest one's hand, should they be looking for one while sitting next to me. My gams didn't quite have the Goddess O' Bronze tan I'll acquire in the summer, but I knew I still looked quite enticing.

Grinning, I cocked a hand on my hip. "The car is the surprise attraction, Jareth. Not my thighs," I quipped. Jareth shook his head.

"The contraption may be the surprise, but you, my precious thing," he paused, meeting my eyes and grinning in his hungry, feral manner, "are the attraction." The smooth sound of his voice slid across my skin and pooled behind my knees, and I started to doubt my ability to continue standing. He stepped forward, running his tongue over his pointed teeth, and I suddenly wondered if I would taste like honey, too.

"Right, in the car," I said hurriedly, darting around to my side and leaving Jareth to settle his own excessively sensual butt in the passenger seat. This was getting a bit dangerous - flirting with Jareth was like juggling a loaded gun, and contemplating anything more than that was like trying to floss with it. While I was intellectually quite aware of the risk, the purely instinctual part of me was responding in an enthusiastically careless manner. Honestly, if he didn't give my brain a little time to reboot in between hormone tsunamis, King Glitter-Pants was going to be unceremoniously jumped, and there was nothing my higher reasoning could do about it.

I waited until Jareth had closed his door before turning the ignition, and nearly groaned as the heavy vibrations of the six-cylinder rumbled through me. My fingertips tingled in anticipation, and as I put the car in gear, I realized I had a huge, Cheshire grin plastered on my face, and that Jareth looked particularly delectable sitting in next to me in the muscle car.

Once more, I briefly wondered if this may have been a bad idea, before winking at a slightly worried-looking Goblin King and hitting the gas. He let out a mildly terrified sound as the car shot forward, and I threw my head back, laughing in exhilaration.

"Hang on, Your Highness!"

The roaring beast Jareth sat in was a bit out of his area of expertise, but he was beginning to figure out which devices caused and controlled what reactions, and he had to admit, his Sarah seemed quite adept at handling the monster. He was continuously, but pleasantly, surprised that the contraption managed to stay on course, despite it's excessive speed around the tight curves and sudden turns. It was vaguely terrifying, but he found that in a perverse sort of way, he was enjoying himself - albeit not quite as much as his companion.

Sarah, the strange creature, was positively glowing.

Sunlight seemed to soak into her and emanate from her smile, kissing her cheeks and coloring them attractively in her excitement. The wind rallied around her, streaming her hair back from her lovely, delighted face, plucking eagerly at her clothes, teasing her thrilled voice from her and tossing it playfully past him as she laughed. She was ethereal and eldritch, a lost deity of power and vigor reincarnated in jean shorts and a tee-shirt, riding the wind on metal wings.

It was a rather enlightening sight. Things were beginning to click into place in Jareth's mind, and he rather hoped the implications of his insights would be less apparent to his hot-headed companion. Determinedly, he pushed the worrisome thoughts aside for later contemplation, unwilling to risk Sarah questioning him and ruining her current good mood.

This was easily the happiest Jareth had ever seen her, and her good spirits were rather infectious. He found that he was tensing less around the narrow turns, and grinning as the beast leapt forward at her lightest touch, despite the nagging feeling that they were going to wind up horribly mangled on one of the many trees they whipped past.

He laughed as the road flew beneath them, gathering speed, and winked at Sarah as she turned to look at him. She beamed at him, her green eyes alight and vibrant, and Jareth suddenly found the desire to kiss her nearly overwhelming.

He turned back to the path in front of them to avoid acting on the badly-timed impulse -

And stiffened in abject terror as he realized the road bent sharply in about two and a half seconds.

He instinctively latched onto Sarah's leg, preparing to translocate them out of an assuredly painful death, with or without the metal beast, but Sarah merely laughed and spun the steering device effortlessly, molding the car around the curve with expert ease.

I knew Jareth would enjoy himself.

Granted, he seemed more than a little apprehensive at first, but he got over it eventually, grinning in the speed-drunk manner I had perfected in my teen years, and even laughing when I coaxed the lovely machine up to the hundreds.

And Operation 'Thigh Fondle' had worked flawlessly.

Though, it admittedly had unexpected side-effects. I really hadn't allowed myself to think to much past the 'Jareth will be touching my thigh' part, and after he had protectively clutched me, neither of us seemed particularly keen to cease the contact, and it was really quite distracting. Not to mention the 'I would most definitely kiss you senseless would it not induce death right now' moment immediately beforehand, which was still sending little flutters through my stomach when I thought about it.

The asphalt Labyrinth of twisted, coiling back roads I had chosen, plus the inordinate speed the Challenger demanded, equaled a hella good time. Throw distraction into the equation, however, and it was a recipe for painful, agonizing failure. I lived for danger, and nothing held a candle to the siren song of an open throttle and a deserted stretch of winding blacktop, and all, but it seemed a little more like expecting not to be burned by fire to keep driving this enthusiastically while not exactly in full control of my facilities. Therefore, I edited my route to less challenging roads and kept my speed out of the reckless range, allowing my gutter-bound mind to concentrate on other things with relative safety. Things such as Jareth's fingers, which were ever-so-lightly skimming along my leg, occasionally straying further to the inside of my thigh and causing my muscles to clench pleasantly. Or the distinctly erotic glances he kept throwing me, speeding up my heartbeat and heating my face. They were looks that quite clearly said, "I intend to completely devour you, and you are going to enjoy it immensely." And truth be told, I had probably shot back a glance or two subtitled "Let's go, then."

Needless to say, by the time we got back to my apartment building, I was running pretty hot.

I parked the car, maybe just a tad jittery, and noticed with mild dismay that my hands were slightly shaky. I reluctantly decided that I may be a little nervous. For over half of the drive, Jareth had been giving off clear signals that if it weren't for the likelihood of obliteration in a particularly unpleasant manner, he would currently be engaging me in a mutually satisfying, intense lip lock, and now that the survival excuse had been taken away, was he going to make good on his promise? Did I (not including my libido) want him to? What did it mean, among gorgeously tight-panted kings, to be sucking face with a mortal? And did we apply to those standards?

Jareth leaned over, his hand still hot and teasing on my thigh, and stopped his face mere inches from mine. I could hear my obvious shortness of breath painfully well in the quiet made by the absence of roaring wind, and I was fairly certain my face was probably about ten shades of red. Jareth's eyes bored into mine, hooded and sensual in a predatory way, before slowly traveling down to my lips, which held his attention equally intensely. They seemed suddenly unbearably dry under his scrutiny, as though the heat from his undivided attention had burned the moisture from them, and I licked them instinctively. A dark, sensually primal look settled on his features, and he moved closer, our breath mingling as it grew yet shorter.

"This," he murmured, his voice low enough to make me shiver, "was a lovely surprise, Sarah." He drew his head to the side, brushing his lips along my jaw, giving my thigh a gentle squeeze -

And then he was gone.

I sat for a moment, utterly at a loss and still panting and embarrassingly aroused, before growling and slamming the heel of my palm into the steering wheel.

"Three times! That's three bloody times!" I snarled to Jareth's empty seat. "The next time you get all Sexy-Impending-Kiss on me, you damn well had better deliver. Dammit."

I peeled myself off the leather and stormed up to my apartment, grumbling and swearing and still wanting to be thoroughly molested by the Goblin King.

I stopped abruptly.

That was the problem.

In point of fact, I wanted to be molested by (and to possibly molest in return) Jareth, not the Goblin King. I was more than ready to work Jareth into a state of arousal so acute it actually hurt, but I was scared to even kiss the Goblin King. Unfortunately, they sort of happened to be the same person.

Frowning, I slowly resumed walking as I mulled this revelation over. It wasn't so much that I was scared of Jareth being the Goblin King, as I was the station itself. Among humans, royalty married royalty, or at least those of high status - end of story. Oh, sure, there were movies about the Prince and the Really Lucky Waitress, but everyone knew it was a load of bull. If you were really a waitress in love with a prince, you wound up his mistress.

I had no intention of being anyone's mistress, unreasonably sexy king or no.

I sighed. Could I broach the subject with Jareth? That would be horribly uncomfortable. And what if I didn't like the answer? Would we be friends? Could I be friends with someone I routinely thought about naked?

I pursed my lips, cocking my head as I fished my keys out.

Probably not.

And on the flipside, it wasn't like I wanted to marry Jareth and become Queen of the Goblins, anyhow. I wasn't in love with him. I just wanted to ravish him senseless. Hot, sweaty, no stings attached, wham-bam-thank-you-Your-Highness sex.

Right?

The goblins were running amuck.

Ever since he'd returned from that exhilarating, terrifying ride with his future Queen, the stupid creatures had been singing and dancing in extremely lewd, distracting merriment, and he'd had quite enough.

"Any goblin, dwarf, fairy, or creature aside from myself still in this throne room ten seconds from now will be bogged," Jareth said irritably, and the next seven seconds were a jumbled mess of squeaks and screams as everyone stampeded for the exits, be it another dimension, a doorway, or a window, and tried not to be the last one left in the room. Tired of waiting, Jareth sort of scrunched up the remaining three seconds and bogged about a dozen or so of his subjects unlucky enough to still be lingering.

Silence settled, and the Goblin King reclined in his throne, draping himself in a regally slouchy style across the seat and conjuring a crystal.

Idly watching the lovely dark-haired woman climb the several flights of stairs to her home, her legs moving in a decidedly interesting manner, Jareth pursed his lips thoughtfully.

Sarah was frightened of him.

Well, wary of him, in any case. She didn't seem particularly worried about him tossing bespelled, bladed machines at her (really, he did need to apologize for that incident), but he had the distinct feeling of a predator closing in on a cornered rabbit as they sat in that speeding monster of hers. Throughout the drive she had been quite the willing tease, but when he finally leaned in to kiss her…

He sighed. Why had she suddenly turned into a wide-eyed doe? He hadn't been overly forward with her, and even in court, the women -

Jareth blinked.

"Ah," he said quietly, resting his jaw on a closed fist as he balanced the crystal on a gloved fingertip. "So that's it. Precious Sarah, you silly thing…"

It seemed he had a bit of planning to do.

As I went to unlock my door, I noticed an envelope wedged into the doorjamb. I narrowed my eyes, suspiciously prying it loose and examining it. My name was written on the front in neat, precise lettering, the handwriting as unfriendly and brisk as Jareth's was loopy and ostentatious. I slid my thumb under the sealed corner and tore it open, extracting and unfolding it's contents, and briefly scanned it, my stomach feeling more and more like I had swallowed an ice anvil the further I read.

It was an eviction notice.

Well, more precisely, it was a court summons, where I would have a chance to defend myself against being evicted, but I was fairly certain I knew how that would go. The court date was set in a week.

Snarling, I wadded up the paper. I couldn't believe that jerk Bruin was actually trying to get me evicted! Who the hell did he think he was? Did he really think I would just roll over and accept being bullied out of my home?

"You've got another thing coming, pal!" I shouted at the floor, and stomped my foot a couple times for good measure. "Bring it on! You have no idea what you're dealing with! I'm not afraid of you, you overgrown, testosterone-saturated teddy bear!"

I ripped open the door to my apartment and stormed inside, fuming. That rotten son of a…

"Lady Sarah!"

"Hail her Tallness!"

"HAIL, HAIL, HAIL!"

The goblins had, once again, destroyed my living room. Honestly, did they ever do anything that wasn't destructive? The damn things were like a living tornado of dust and clutter, obliterating order at every turn and -

Inspiration suddenly clocked me over the head, an I grinned.

I had an idea. An awful idea. I had a wonderful, awful idea.

Edgar Bruin hummed happily to himself as he shifted his bags to unlock his apartment door. Today was a lovely day, bight and sunny, and the warm weather had inspired his inner painter so much that he had designed an entire series of bonnet-wearing kittens for his paint-by-numbers seminar.

And that damn noisy neighbor of his wouldn't be a nuisance much longer. In just a few short weeks, her chaotic butt and those horribly undisciplined children she watched would be kicked to the curb, never to bother him again, and he would be able to concentrate on his sand paintings and bonneted kittens without distraction. Perhaps he could even start on those Sinatra clocks he'd been thinking about for -

Edgar dropped his purchases, staring around his apartment in abject horror. Porcelain carnage was strewn across his floor, glass eyes staring up at him in macabre innocence from shattered feline faces, sand was absolutely everywhere, and his Elvis clocks - Oh, his Elvis clocks -

Rage clouded his vision, the need for revenge taking hold as he spun around, intending to go up and give that damn Williams woman a very stern talking-to -

Ding-dong.

"Remember, kid, straight face," I whispered to Toby, tugging his orange neck scarf straight. He rolled his eyes.

"Sarah, I've been successfully lying to Mom for almost a decade. I've got this," he assured me. I smiled, straightening as the Evil Bear-Man Who Didn't Know When To Keep His Nose Out Of Other People's Leases opened the door.

"Hi! I'm Toby! My boy scout troop is selling these yummy candy bars to raise money for our annual camping trip, where we learn invaluable skills about life and self-dependency. Would you like to contribute to the cause?" my little brother pitched, sounding as sincere as only an eleven-year-old selling candy can manage, obviously not intimidated by the furious man before us in the least. I resisted the urge to hug him.

I said nothing, standing a little to the side and looking purposefully uninterested, as though I hadn't just sent goblins to ransack his house and wreak general chaos on his mechanical devices.

"You," he snarled, ignoring my brother and pointing a hot-dog sized finger accusingly at me. He was distinctly red in the face, practically shaking with the repressed urge to wring my neck. "I know it was you, and you can be absolutely sure this will not go unpunished. I will be alerting the authorities," he boomed threateningly. I looked at him in surprise.

"What?" I asked blankly.

The floor practically rumbled as he growled. "Don't play the fool with me, girl. Who else would have cause to do something so horrible?"

I blinked. "What are you talking about, Mr. Bruin?" I asked, a little miffed.

"My home! All of my figurines and collectables, all of them, smashed to pieces, ruined!" he cried. I rolled my eyes in the manner of someone who had just been told that their arch-nemesis had a hangnail.

"Look, I'm sorry 'bout your stuff, but why would you think I did it? It's not like I have a key to your apartment, and believe me, if I did, I'd be more tempted to toss it in the river than to come mess up your house. I don't come anywhere near you unless absolutely necessary. I'm only here now because my brother insisted on ringing every single person's doorbell. I've been doing this all afternoon, so even if I had the ability and inclination, I wouldn't have had the time. You can ask anyone from this floor up if you don't believe me," I said shortly.

He faltered, and suddenly turned, inspecting his doorknob, presumably for scratches indicating a previous, forced entry. I knew he wouldn't find any.

"Look, Mr. Bruin, I know you don't really like me, and to be honest, I don't really like you. But I don't have the means to break into your apartment, trash your stuff, and simultaneously escort a boy scout around, alright? You're probably looking for the same person who's been going around switching the numbers on the doors and ransacking cars. And it's a little rude to go around accusing people of vandalism without cause, just so you know," I said, and put my arm around Toby's shoulders. "Come on, kid, let's go. I doubt he'd really buy any candy from you."

Toby glared at the enormous, befuddled mountain, and stuck his tongue out before picking up his box of candy and stomping off to wait by the stairs, tapping his foot with annoyance.

"Wait, Miss Williams," the Evil Bear-Man said quietly, or as quietly as could be expected of anyone whose natural tone of voice was a roar, and I stopped, arching an impatient eyebrow at him. He grimaced. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions," he said, and he sounded like the concession caused him actual pain. I smiled.

"Don't worry about it. Oh, and you might want to get those clocks out of the bathtub before they're completely ruined," I suggested, and waited a moment for the implications of that statement to sink in.

He blinked at me, fury and confusion warring for control of his features.

"But, you…" he spluttered for a moment, before glaring at me. "You realize I intend to take lawful action against you," he said. I smirked.

"You have no evidence, I have an adorable kid for an alibi, and I even convinced you that I was innocent. Good luck," I said, and walked off to join Toby. I held my hand out behind my back for a low-five as I passed him, which he obliged enthusiastically, and I heard him blow a raspberry at the Evil Bear-Man just before we closed the stairwell door. I ruffled his hair affectionately as we walked down to the parking lot.

"Excellent work, kid," I said, slinging an arm around his devious little shoulders.

"Told you I had it under control," he said cockily, but I could hear the pleased undertone in his pride.

"I will never again doubt your deceptive abilities," I said solemnly. He nodded in satisfaction.

"Ice cream?" he asked hopefully. I grinned. He was just like a goblin, sometimes.

"Sure."

After a pleasant afternoon of trying to smear ice cream on my baby brother's nose before he did the same to me, I dropped him off at Dad and Karen's and took as many winding side-road shortcuts as possible back to my place, happily singing along with the radio as the cool evening air whipped and tangled my hair and chilled my face and arms. I smiled contentedly as the sun sank behind the tree-line, staining the sky deep purple as the night crept in.

All in all, it had been a decidedly enjoyable Tuesday, despite the fact that I was in danger of getting kicked out of my apartment because of unruly goblins and their magical King.

Just the thought of Jareth, sitting next to me in the rumbling, speeding car, his platinum blonde mop whipping around and glowing in the sunlight, was enough to send tingles through my fingers and toes and bring butterflies to life in my stomach. I could suddenly feel the heat of his leather-clad hand on my thigh, and I clenched my legs together, shaking my head and forcing myself to focus on the road. This was ridiculous.

"Get a grip, Sarah. The two of you have done nothing worthy of stupid look on your face," I firmly told the green-eyed girl in the rearview mirror. She gave me an irritated look that said quite plainly 'Right, like his hand all over your thighs isn't a drool-worthy thought.'

Honestly, I was being unbearably silly. It wasn't as though I was some blushing virginal schoolgirl, anymore, for Hoggle's sake - I'd been around the block a time or two, and considered myself well-versed in the art of wild monkey sex. I was cool under pressure. I could be coy and sexy. I was the Don Juan of upstate New York.

Well, alright, that may have been a bit of an exaggeration, but the point was, Sarah Williams was not one to get hot and bothered over a kiss that hadn't even happened yet. And I certainly didn't like the fact that it was Jareth making me like this.

I growled and cranked up the radio, singing along forcefully and determinedly not thinking about the sharp smell of magic that radiated from the passenger seat.

As I passed under a streetlight, I thought I caught a glimmer of shiny blonde hair from the empty space next to me, and whipped my head around - was Jareth in the car now? - and felt my jaw drop in horror.

On the seat next to me, reflected in the waning sunlight and sodium streetlight glow, was a perfect imprint of the Goblin King.

In glitter.

"This is ridiculous," I said for the third time in as many minutes, holding the passenger-side floor mat of Jeff's car in one hand and a spatula in the other.

"King is very sparkly," Ziggy said in a non-committal manner. I waved the spatula in hopeless exasperation.

"I mean, I enjoy a bit of well-placed shininess as well as the next girl, but there has got to be a limit," I said, beating the mat half-heartedly and watching the virtual fog of glitter that erupted from the contact.

"A little sparkly goes a long way," Ziggy nodded wisely,

"Yeah. Moderation in all things glittery, and all that," I agreed. "Is everything around him this like this?"

"Pretty much," Ziggy said, firing up his little hand-held vacuum and attacking the floorboard.

I sighed. "I wonder if there's some sort of anti-glitter shield I could have Jareth put up," I wondered, resuming my battle with the mat.

"Want Ziggy to ask him?"

I snorted. That would be an interesting conversation.

"No, that's alright," I said, unwilling to risk my cleaning partner to one of Jareth's tempers. "But there will definitely be some changes when I'm -"

I stopped, horrified, and clapped a hand over my mouth, accidentally whacking myself in the face with the stupid spatula. I had nearly said…

"If you wanted a slap, Lady Sarah, you could just ask Ziggy," the little cross-eyed goblin told me, but I was far too horror-struck to register his words.

"Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. I haven't even kissed him yet," I hissed at myself, and buried my face in my hands. "You will stop this juvenile infatuation business this instant," I told myself firmly. Next thing I knew, I would be drawing hearts with GK in the middle, and carving Sarah & Jareth into nearby trees.

"Kiss who?" Ziggy asked, pausing in mid-vacuum. I shook my head, returning to beating the glitter out of Jeff's mat with renewed vigor.

"Someone who I should definitely not be thinking about kissing," I told the cross-eyed little goblin.

"Oh. 'Cause King would get mad, if you go kissing someone. Might even bog you," he warned, and paused a moment, tilting his head a little. "Well, not bog Lady Sarah. But definitely the other kisser," he clarified. I felt a warm little buzzing in my stomach, that Jareth would be jealous of me kissing someone other than him. Obviously jealous, at that, if even his goblins had picked up on it. I smacked the mat a few more times, noticing the resulting amount of shiny residue was diminishing.

Exactly how jealous would Jareth be? And for what reason, specifically? Because I had chosen someone over him, and it hurt his pride? Because he was a sappy romantic and it pained his heart (or whatever the equivalent was for wicked kings) to see me express such affection for another? Or because he felt he had a claim to me? And which reason did I want?

I groaned, putting down the mat. I needed a drink.

"C'mon, Ziggy, we'll finish this tomorrow. Let's go get some cocoa," I said, and my little cleaning buddy whooped, abandoning his near-hopeless task in favor of chocolaty goodness.

"Jeff, tomorrow night is Valentines, and you wait to make reservations until now?" The hostess said sharply.

"I know it's short notice for a holiday, but you would be doing me a huge favor, Denise," Jeff said, turning his Baby Blues on the red-headed hostess. "I would be eternally grateful."

The woman gave him a wry smile, twirling a pen nimbly through her fingers. "Begging, now, are we? Must have a really hot date," she said, perhaps just the mildest trace of bitter jealousy in her tone. The two had agreed to stop seeing each other on good terms, but he knew she would still have given them another go. Jeff had rarely been irrevocably dumped.

"Please, Denise. I promise you, I will send you the biggest thank-you gift basket of chocolate you have ever seen in your life," he bargained. He didn't really need to beg, but it would make her feel less like a hopeless sap still holding out for a guy who had moved on, and more like a woman who occasionally made mutually beneficial deals with her ex, and he didn't mind coddling her ego.

She rolled her eyes. "Now you're just being pathetic. This must be some girl," she said, and scribbled his name in for a balcony table. "There. Now quit groveling and grow a pair," she teased fondly, and leaned an elbow on the counter, resting her sharp chin on her palm as she faced Jeff. "And I fully expect that gift-basket."

Jeff grinned widely and kissed the end of her nose. "You're an angel, Denise," he said, and handed her a blank check, made out to a fruit and chocolate boutique several doors down. "Get whatever your heart desires," he said and winked, turning and walking toward the door.

"You know damn well what my heart desires, and it isn't on sale in any store," Denise muttered as he left, and Jeff couldn't help but smirk a little. He kept walking and let Denise believe he hadn't heard her.

Everything was ready. Tomorrow night was going to be perfect.

Sarah didn't stand a chance.

AN: GAME TIME!1! Aright, ducklings, who can be the first to not only spot, but identify the origins of the Dr. Seuss reference up there? Do me proud, fellow Seuss-head pals! GO!

And - Jareth meets someone in the next chapter. ONE GUESS WHO. ( :D )

Freak-4-God - I know! DX I'm so sorry, darling! Forgive me?

Lov2catnap - Lol, I am so ebil, aren't I? Hope you're doing well, luv! (I do not envy you with a new little monster running loose in the house. Yeesh.)

Nanenna - Lol I would feel bad about torturing him, if I hadn't actually made him specifically to be tortured. Alas, such is his fate…. (And I fully agree. Jareth absolutely DEMANDS UST. Though it usually ends up getting energetically resolved, so ust isn't precisely accurate…)

MyraValhallah - Thanks, darling! (And what on earth is Sod's law?)

Dark Dreamer - . Did I say a week? Hah. Haha. Ahm. Meant a month, sorry for the mixup. (Oooh! I'm sorry for that, dear! Is he in the forces or something?)

Sapphire Vial - Lol! He isn't a sketch, he's just a really nice guy. And a tiny bit full of himself. And also a tiny bit desperate. Alright, fine, he's a little sketchy.

Cybernetic Mango - Well, as back as I can really be expected to be, I suppose, lol. Yay! Hope your arm is doing well! (I didn't know you painted. What of?)

Clara954 - :) Thank you, darling! Unfortunately, 'soon' is sort of a relative term when it comes to me.

Darkbangle - Aw! I love hearing things like that. :) Hope Jareth's reaction was satisfactory - and Sarah's two beaus will meet very soon. :D

Tsohg - Lol! I can understand the cocoa, but I don't think I have the emotional fortitude for fuzzy pickles.

Camcalli - Haha! He'll probably need therapy for the rest of his life.

iCraft - Thank you, darling! :) I love my goblins too - I almost wish they'd come ransack my house every now and again.

Coffee Kris - Lol! Isn't it against the rules to be frolicking in shadows?

MayFeiScarlette - Quite the opposite, darling - it was just the kick in the pants I needed. ;)

Insanityfairy - :D

Rowaan - Haha! Of course not! Then he'd show up smelling like Bog and gibbering incoherently. Sarah would kill me. ( ;) )

Sallafe K - Hahah! Oh, I laughed so hard when I read that! Thank you, darling!

OrangeSea - :) Hope you enjoyed!

Saoirse09 - . Sorry it took so long! And really? You don't like Jeff? What on earth's not to like? (Well, aside from the fact that he isn't Jareth. …Oh. Right.)

GlamGirl255 - Lol thank you, darling! Hope the JS quota was filled in this one. :)

GeeAnnaB - I know! . I am horrid about deadlines. I'm one of those people you tell to be somewhere half and hour early so maybe they'll be on time.

Bright Lotus - Haha Yes, the indestructibility helps.

Creative-Insanity - *Hugs* You are fabulous.

Starsong - :) Hope it lived up!