Disclaimer: You know what? This isn't going to bring me down today. I do not own Labyrinth, but that is okay, because I have coffee and bunny slippers and fabulous hair.
Also: Thanks a bloody billion and a half to my awesome, fantabulous beta Corky Conlon-Cook because she is wise and patient and wise and very, very patient. And pretty.
Chapter Twelve
Christ, was this turning out to be a rotten night.
Jeff drove at speeds that would make Sarah proud - not that he particularly cared what she thought, and he certainly wasn't driving recklessly to earn her approval, god knew, but -
"Shut up, you stupid brain," he commanded the wayward organ, wishing he could just stop being a sappy idiot long enough to form a coherent thought that didn't revolve around that infuriating woman that-he-was-not-going-to-think-about-dammit.
He flew past a neon-lit, well-populated club, the kind that seemed to birth leather-clad rock stars, and involuntarily wondered if she had called that tight-trousered ice block over yet. Not that it mattered to him either way, but just out of morbid curiosity…
Jeff sighed. This was hopeless.
Something darted across the road immediately in front of Jeff, and he squeaked, slamming on the brakes and jerking the wheel instinctively. The Challenger held gamely to the road, but the maneuver was beyond her capabilities and the back end lost purchase. Driving training kicked in as the brakes squealed and the tires pealed, and he recovered control of the fishtailing car before he wound up Jeff-flavored hamburger on a stretch of blacktop. His hands shook in their white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel while his heart decided it had quite nearly had enough of this nonsense and contemplated retirement, and he guided the car to a stop on the shoulder of the road to regain his composure.
What had that been? If he didn't know better (and he did), he would have sworn it was a furry little person with orange horns and a large, fluffy rabbit tail. Which was just ridiculous. What did he think he'd almost killed, a jackalope? Absurd. Those only lived in the southwest. And they were mythological.
Rubbing his eyes, Jeff chastised himself. He was acting like a petulant teenager, speeding around angrily and poutily denying that he even cared about being utterly rejected by his date, and the trauma plus the wine he'd had at dinner was clearly affecting his judgment. Sighing, he put the car back in gear and eased onto the road. He needed a distraction from Sarah, something to remind him that she was, in fact, not the center of his universe.
Glancing in his rearview, he saw that a pair of orange horns attached to a large set of bobbly eyes had taken up residence in his backseat.
Jeff screamed.
Denise jerked open her front door to stop the incessant pounding on it and glared at the disheveled, but unfortunately still yummy, man taking up her threshold.
"If I don't answer after the third knock, it means 'go away', not 'bang louder'," she said flatly. Jeff ran a hand through his hair roughly, which explained why it looked as though a small furry creature had attempted to nest in it, and tried on one of his charming grins. It looked vaguely maniacal.
Denise frowned. "Jesus, what happened?" Jeff looked for a moment as though he couldn't decide whether to cry or laugh and eventually decided on burying his face in his hands and doing a combination of the two.
"I had a really, really bad night," he confessed. Denise rolled her eyes, but backed up to let him in. Apparently the slinky little brunette on his arm hadn't panned out. She tried not to be giddy.
"Yeah, well, mine wasn't exactly peachy, either, you know," she said shortly, locking the door back up behind him. Her thumb had barely left the turn-latch when Jeff let out a decidedly unmanly squeal and toppled loudly into the vase of flowers on her small foyer table. She spun around, gaping at the watery mess.
"Did you see that? Please tell me you saw that!" Jeff begged, pointing in the direction of the destroyed decorations.
Denise scowled at him. "Did I see you drunkenly stumble into my flowers? No, I didn't, and I really-"
"It's behind you!" he shrieked, seizing her and roughly pulling her to him, shielding her from the non-existent threat with his turned body. Denise leaned around him, trying to see what he was freaking out about.
There was nothing. At all.
"Oh, thank god I have this big, strong man to save me from my vicious doormat. It's been plotting to kill me for days, the fiend," she deadpanned, extracting herself from his protective clutches. She tiptoed her slippered way carefully through the mess of shattered ceramic, leaving Jeff gaping at the empty shadows in her foyer.
"But, I swear, there was this… thing…"
"Mmhmm. Tell me, was the thing small, green, and fluttering around?"
"What? No, it looked like a jackalope… but oranger," he muttered, and slanted her a glance. "And I haven't been drinking absinth."
"But you have been drinking." Denise grabbed her mop, broom and dustbin and returned to the poor, hallucinating man. "And I don't think it's necessary to classify color differences in made-up creatures."
Jeff did that sobby-laugh thing again, and she felt just a little bit bad for ragging on him.
"I know, this sounds crazy, and maybe I am… I just… Keep seeing things."
Denise sighed softly, setting her cleaning supplies down for a minute, and grabbed Jeff by the chin. Turning his head firmly toward her, she clinically examined his eyes and pressed a wrist to his forehead.
"Jeff, you aren't crazy," she said matter-of-factly. His expression lifted a little. "Your pupils are the size of quarters, you're flushed, and you reek of alcohol. You got drunk, hallucinated something, and then your adrenaline kicked in and made matters worse," she theorized. "Now, go sit on the couch while I clean this up and try not to kill anything else," she instructed. Jeff cast an apologetic glance at her ruined flower vase.
"Ah, yeah. Sorry about those," he said meekly. It really was unfortunate that he was so absolutely delicious - it made being angry with him nearly impossible. Not to mention that he knew all her little buttons and just how to undo them… Alas.
She shrugged.
"You paid for them anyways. It's no sweat off my back," she replied, ushering him out of her way. He frowned.
"I made that check out to the fruit and chocolate bouquet place…" he objected. She grinned slyly at him.
"I didn't feel like chocolate. And people are willing to make all sorts of special exceptions if you pay them enough."
Jeff paled a little. He looked worried for his bank account; she could practically see the formula running through his brain: Slightly vindictive ex + blank check = Bad Idea.
Sighing, he slumped onto her sofa. "I should have known better than to give a blank check to a ginger," he mumbled. Denise hid a grin and cast him a look over her shoulder. It was lucky he'd never been able to tell when she was playing him…
"Are you saying I wasn't worth it?" she asked icily. His eyes nearly popped out of his gorgeous head. Open mouth, insert foot, and chew heartily.
"No! Of course you are! I just-"
"No, no, I understand. I'm worthy only of what you wish to dole out - concept grasped, I assure you," she snarked. Jeff looked as though he were contemplating eating his entire damned leg.
"Denise, no, it's not like that-"
"Or am I just supposed to pine over you and be satisfied with the little winks and grins you throw my way when you need something? Just be glad I warranted your attention and jump through whatever hoops you wish?"
The instinct to flee at all costs had begun to set in. Jeff eyed the distance to the door warily.
"Uhm, I didn't mean-" he flinched a little as she picked up the dustbin and started towards him.
"You know Jeff, you really haven't changed much," she said and sashayed past him to the kitchen to dispose of the decorative remains. "You still look adorable when you panic."
His disbelieving sputters carried into the kitchen, and Denise laughed. It was so nice to get one up on him every now and again. And if he was going to show up at her place, drunk and rejected, on Valentine's Day and just assume that she'd be alone and willing to let him in, then he deserved a few gut shots. Never mind that she was alone and willing to let him in. It was just the principal of the thing.
Replacing her cleaning supplies in her pantry, she smirked at the silence. Apparently he'd run out of offended noises to make.
"Oh, come on, Jeff, you can't-"
The pantry door shut in front of her and a pair of strong, well-experienced, able hands came up on either side at shoulder height. Blinking, she registered the feeling of a warm body at her back and soft breathing by her ear.
"You know, Denise, that almost sounded like you were provoking me," Jeff murmured, his already pleasantly masculine voice delightfully husky. He nuzzled against her neck, and Denise shivered helplessly as he nibbled her earlobe. She had always been a sucker for ear nibbling. "You know what that does to me…"
She forced a laugh. "Yeah, you either pout or try and peacock defiantly to prove me wrong," she said with as much scathing indifference as she could manage while pressed back against him and obviously melting at his touch. It was actually surprisingly convincing. "I'm guessing peacocking this time."
"Are you saying you don't enjoy my 'peacocking' ?" he asked, clearly amused, as he stepped closer to her, pinning her against the pantry door. He skimmed a few kisses down the side of her neck, using her known weaknesses against her. She swallowed a little whimper as his teeth grazed her shoulder.
"On the contrary, idiotic male behavior is such a turn-on," she retorted, and tried really, really hard not to moan as he turned his teeth on her other ear.
"You know, I don't think you're lying," he chuckled, and started to move a hand to her neck -
And accidentally clocked her on the jaw as he yelped and jumped away, careening into her kitchen table and toppling backwards over a chair.
Rubbing her sore face, Denise stomped over and glared down at the scrambling puddle of unfortunately sexy man and mentally kicked herself for nearly succumbing to his drunken charms.
"Jesus, something bit me-"
"Jeff, nothing bit you. You are drunk. Now, get off my floor and quit being so irritatingly destructive or I'm kicking you out, debilitatingly inebriated or no," she snapped, and roughly pulled him to his feet. He gestured helplessly toward her pantry door and she felt a flash of irritation directed as much at him as it was at herself - she hated that he'd nearly blown down her defenses with little more than a couple nibbles and hated that she would have let him had he not suddenly reminded her that he was severely intoxicated due to the rejection of another woman.
"But - I -"
"But nothing, Jeff. Go stretch out on the couch and I'll bring you a blanket," she said firmly. "We can talk about this when you're sober."
"But Denise, I-"
"Jeff!" She yelled, closing her eyes and clenching her fists. "I am not your rebound girl! You cannot just pop over here, drunk, and expect me to comfort you because some other woman had the common sense to tell you no! Now shut up and take what I'm offering you or get out!"
Denise stood there a moment more, refusing to look at him, and waited for him to wrap her up in an embrace and charm her right back into his spell like he always had.
Jeff sighed. "I'm sorry," he said softly.
Denise's eyes snapped open.
"It was rude of me to act the way I did. I'm sorry if I offended you, Denise," he said and gave her a small, apologetic smile. "I'll gladly take your couch."
After a few blinks, her brain rebooted and she lifted her chin, brushing past him to unfold the pull out and grab some blankets. "Damn right, you will," she said, trying to sound like she wasn't shocked he was actually doing what she asked.
Jeff helped fix his temporary bed, his movements surprisingly smooth and coordinated for someone drunk enough to repeatedly hallucinate, and snuggled down with nary a suggestive finger. Denise was… kind of impressed, actually. This was a tad out of character for the charming, irresistible, fabulously ab-tastic Jeff Garner.
She cast him one last glance as he wished her goodnight, and pursed her lips. Maybe he had changed…
Madness did not begin to describe the state of the Goblin King's realm at present.
Mayhem abounded in every corner of his kingdom, utter chaos thrived in the streets and rampaged through the Goblin City, destroying order, structure, and any of their relatives (including distant cousins) with extreme prejudice. The outer wall was barely visible under the coating of silly string, the oubliettes were full of terrified fireys attempting to hide from the gobliny festivities (which was more of an indicator of the severity of the situation than any other sign), and the hedge maze had voluntarily relocated itself to the Bog of Eternal Stench in hopes of avoiding the worst of the attacks.
And then there was the matter of his throne room…
Jareth had perched himself upon the highest ledge, as far away from the unspeakable horrors below as he could manage, to attempt to restore order to his castle. He bogged another dozen or so goblins, watching as an equal amount slogged boggily back into his throne room, and wished quite desperately for an Advil.
Despite his efforts, things were only getting worse. Goblins were naturally wild, destructive creatures - Jareth's strict rule and insistence upon civilization had been the only thing keeping them from tearing his kingdom apart long ago, and with Sarah's damned 'game' directly contradicting his authority, the goblins were reverting back to their instinctive habits.
In short, he was doomed without Sarah's help.
A disgustingly loud clanging nearly knocked the king from his perch as a group of his subjects began using the cord of the iron alarm bell as a rope swing, sending a nauseating shock of pain through his splitting head. It was immediately bogged, along with it's operators and anything nearby that may have gotten any similar ideas.
With a heavy feeling of dread settling in his stomach, the goblin monarch heaved a sigh and resigned himself to the only open course of action.
The time had come to swallow his pride.
I pressed my forehead against my computer screen, willing the words on the display to change themselves to something that A). made sense, and/or B). wouldn't get me kicked out of my apartment.
Sadly, my psychic powers were decidedly ineffective. The only thing I accomplished was leaving a rather impressive smudge in the middle of the document telling me exactly why I was royally screwed.
It made me feel a little better to not be able to read the words.
Thursday morning, when I had awoken from my ill-rested, naughty-dreamed slumber, I'd realized that the posturing of a certain testosterone-saturated, bulgy-veined, bear-like neighbor would come to fruition in a mere five days, and I had done nothing by the way of making sure I didn't become homeless in the very near future. The situation trumped even my severe irritation with the tight-panted wonder who shall not be named, with his stupid bare hands and his stupid jaw line and stupid lips and other tasty body parts. Stupid man.
Therefore, the last four days had been a rush of mad researching, with headaches aplenty and enough coffee to kill an elephant. It hadn't been terribly enjoyable.
Mister Puppy had spent most of his time lingering around by my feet, occasionally projecting an 'I told you so' attitude whenever I went on a rant about King Sparkly The Nameless, and making sure that whatever apartment-losing goblins popped in didn't stay long. The record length had been eight minutes, and that was only because he had poofed into existence in my toilet and had taken some effort to extract.
Stupid goblins.
Also, after my little kiss-me-not fiasco with my boss/admirer/car loaner, I was sort of stranded, which promised to make getting to the court house tomorrow morning by ten o'clock something of an event. I quite frankly had no idea who had my car, and what had happened to it, or if it was even still in one piece. I hoped she was sitting in a lot somewhere, awaiting rescue, but suspected she may have long since been chopped up for spare parts. Which I may have been able to handle, but the not knowing was just horrible… I needed closure.
Unfortunately, that meant calling Jeff, and that was rather more than my sensibilities were prepared to handle.
I groaned. "How do you do it, Sarah?" I asked myself. "Do you work at getting into these situations? Do you try?"
"Well, you certainly have become proficient at it."
I squeaked, jumping in my seat and nearly spilling myself onto the floor, and whirled in my chair to glare at the intruder.
Domino slowly rose to his feet, malice and serious displeasure radiating from every spot on his furry little body, and growled at Jareth.
"Yeah, what he said," I agreed. Jareth looked mildly worried that I wouldn't be holding my puppy in check this time.
"Sarah, we need to talk," he said placatingly, eyeing my ferocious companion warily. I reached down and patted the only trustworthy man in my life.
"So talk." I suppressed a little grin at how mobsterly I sounded - this was probably the closest I had ever been to the Sopranos. It was a shame I couldn't have had this captured on camera, rather than me embarrassing myself in front of a store full of soccer moms…
He frowned. "I really think this conversation would be more appropriately held without me under the threat of mutilation," he reasoned. I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. Go on, puppy; I'll be alright," I told Domino, who cast me an unhappy glance before making his way to my bedroom, where he sat right inside the door and continued to watch Jareth with murder in his little doggy eyes. Jareth's cheek twitched.
"I suppose actual privacy is out of the question," he said tightly. I sighed impatiently and hauled myself up, walking to my kitchen.
"This is as good as it gets. Stand by the fridge and he won't be able to see you," I said and rustled in my pantry for something to keep my hands busy - I didn't quite trust myself to keep looking at Jareth without either stabbing or kissing him. Also, I couldn't quite be sure if I had eaten today, or yesterday for that matter, due to stress and figured that it was probably a good idea to eat something before my stomach and my shunned hormones ganged up, staged a mutiny, and decided to devour Jareth in substitution for actual nutrition.
Ahah. Ravioli to the rescue.
"What exactly did you need to talk to me about, Your Highness?" I asked sharply, busying myself with the pretense of food. He sighed.
"Sarah, please be reasonable," he pleaded. "My Labyrinth is in utter chaos. It's practically a civil war."
"Sounds like a monarchy problem to me," I said carelessly. I could see him tense out of the corner of my eye.
"Half of my subjects are under unretracted orders from you. This is the monarchy attempting to fix the problem."
I scoffed. "How is it my fault or responsibility if you can't control your own subjects?"
"We had a deal, Sarah," Jareth snarled. I looked at him in feigned innocence.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I lead you to believe I was going to do something, and then leave you hanging?" I added a little false remorse to my expression. "How cruel of me."
Jareth clenched his eyes shut, obviously holding his control in a tenuous grip. "I was trying to do the right thing," he said tersely. I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, come off it, Jareth; I was drunk, not suddenly possessed by a hooker. I'd had a little too much to drink and a lot too much teasing and innuendo, and my inhibitions were seriously lowered - but it didn't mean I was trying to do something I didn't actually want to," I snapped. "You can't just poof in here, intending to rile me up, and then leave and not expect me to get mad about it!"
Jareth spluttered for a moment. "That was hardly my intention!" he gestured wildly at my bedroom, hair fluffing furiously and eyes widening with incredulity.
It was actually kind of funny looking. Were I less angry, I may have even called it cute.
"If you'll recall, precious, it was you who summoned me back here, after you came to the false assumption that I had given you some sort of sexual stimulation drug in order to ravish you against your will, and now you're angry with me for proving you wrong?" he demanded.
"No! I'm mad at you because you assumed that I was too stupid or too awed by your attention to know what I wanted! Being intoxicated doesn't make you do things that you don't want to, it just gives you the courage to do what you wouldn't normally have the guts to!" I slammed my fist down angrily, rattling the cooking ravioli on the stove. "I've wanted to sleep with you since you popped back in here looking like sex on legs, and I finally had the courage to act on it, and then you went all noble and pretended I was some silly little damsel who didn't know what her silly little heart wanted. When have I ever led you to believe that I wanted some noble hero?"
Jareth blinked at me for a moment, apparently blindsided by my verbal revelation of what we both already knew. I supposed it was possible I was going to regret actually telling him that when I was less murderously furious, but at the moment, I was tired of all the prancing around.
He narrowed his eyes skeptically. "You mean to tell me that, had I not done the 'noble' thing, you would not have been just as angry with me in the morning?"
"Exactly!" I said. Jareth gave me an arch look. "Well, maybe," I amended. He continued to watch me doubtfully. "Alright, fine, I would have still been kind of peeved at you. If you really had wanted to be noble, the right thing to do would have been to knock me unconscious and deal with me in the morning," I relented. He cocked an eyebrow.
"I somehow doubt that would have been received any better. I'm actually not seeing any palatable courses of action for that particular situation," he remarked.
"Well, maybe if you didn't turn me into hot-blooded mush all the time, I wouldn't be so unreasonable," I snapped. Jareth grinned, and I felt a sharp stab of chagrin - why must my mouth spew all the stupidity in my head? Shouldn't there be some sort of filter? Clearly mine needed to be replaced.
Jareth leaned casually against my pantry door, all lean legs and predatory grace, grinning in a distinctly self-satisfied manner.
"How am I at fault if you find me irresistible, Sarah mine?" he purred. I scoffed.
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I fail to see what could possibly be described as 'ridiculous' at present," Jareth said. I rolled my eyes at him.
"What's ridiculous? Your pants are, that's what," I snarked. He smirked in that unsettling manner of his and slid toward me, bringing to mind the image of a crocodile gliding smoothly toward his prey (with gently smiling jaws).
"Would you prefer I remove them, precious thing?" he purred. "You stopped scrying before I managed to, last time. Such a pity." His hand brushed over my jaw, trailing light veins of heat down the line of my throat as he leaned in close, our cheeks nearly touching, and that tingly sensation he'd awakened danced along behind his touch. I could feel his breath on my ear, the thud of his heart, the nearness of him, as I tilted my head and tried not to become the aforementioned puddle of hot-blooded mush. "Let me mend this…"
My eyes snapped open and I batted his hand away, spinning around and concentrating on my ravioli. "No! There will be no pants removal in my kitchen," I said firmly, trying to squish the equal parts of panic and desperate hopefulness that had sprung up at that idea.
"Then let's move to your living room. I'm more partial to your sofa than countertops anyways," he smirked, sliding his hands around my waist. My hormones hijacked my motor controls for a moment and pressed back against his chest without my consent, but the feeling was so nice that I allowed them a moment to cheer in victory before giving the wheel back to common sense and survival instinct - which, as common sense pointed out from her disgraced position tied up in the corner, was a spectacularly bad idea.
In the brief moment that I stayed perfectly still, reveling in the sensation of his lean, firm chest against my back and his long-fingered hands at my waist, the memory of being wrapped up in his arms in that midnight meadow, feeling warm and safe and loved, barged on into my brain and teamed up with the memory of his erection hard against my inner thigh as I bit down on his neck, and staged a hostile takeover.
The blasted hormones tripled in size and joined with each other to become a randy conglomerate, like a Power Ranger Megazord with a serious grudge against pants, existing with the sole purpose of getting one (or possibly both) of us naked. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and arched into his hands as they skimmed down over my hips, tingling in a decidedly pleasant way, and I moaned a little as I anticipated what his tingly fingertips would feel like pressed against my-
The phone ringing startled me so badly that I nearly yelled. And then I realized that I had nearly succumbed to my more primal urges, again, while I was mad at Jareth, and that he was never going to apologize if I kept purring like a kitten whenever he touched me.
"Phone!" I exclaimed, pulling myself out of his embrace and lunging for my saving grace. Jareth looked decidedly unhappy about this and took a step towards me. I held up a firm hand.
"Don't touch me or I'm going to beat you with my spatula," I warned and picked up. Jareth folded his arms grouchily and leaned his sexy, perfectly defined hip against the counter. I narrowly avoided a brain function lapse.
"Hello?" I said hastily, turning away and just barely keeping the attractive monarch in my peripherals.
"Sarah? It's Jeff."
I blinked, a little knot forming in my stomach. Please let my car be okay, please let my car be okay…
"Ah, hey, Jeff," I greeted hesitantly. I saw Jareth tense out of the corner of my eye as Jeff sighed on the other end.
"Listen, there's a lot I should say and a lot I shouldn't say, and instead of some big, long, drawn-out affair, I'm just going to say that I'm sorry, and if you can put all this behind you, so can I," he said. I grimaced - that sounded suspiciously like a new start to a romantic relationship to me. Luckily, I was saved the moral dilemma of making a decision due to the fact that I really had no choice in the matter. He had my car hostage, dammit.
"Well, sure, Jeff. What are employees for?" I joked half-heartedly. Jeff acknowledged my attempts with a small chuckle.
"I talked to the guys at the garage, and they said that they took the entire thing apart-"
My stomach dropped as I envisioned my poor little baby chopped up and sold off piecemeal-
"-but couldn't find anything wrong with it. They've got it ready for you now," he said, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"That is the best news I've heard all week," I grinned.
Jeff laughed. "There should be someone swinging by later today to drop it off-"
He said something else, but there were suddenly lips wrapped around my other ear, and the sensation was decidedly non-conducive to higher brain function.
Teeth lightly skimmed along my earlobe, and I shuddered a little, letting out a noise that was discouragingly similar to a breathy moan.
"Sarah?" Jeff's voice sounded in the ear still pressed to the telephone, and I started, a violent blush sweeping through me. I shoved Jareth away, squinching my shoulders up to cover my ears and shooting him a glare over my shoulder. He just licked his lips, eyeing me with mischievous delight.
"Sorry, I'm just so happy at the prospect of having my own car again. I was terrified she may have been hacked and dismembered and black marketed or something," I said, hastily turning back away from His Randiness.
"Oh! I guess I should have told you where I'd had it taken. Sorry," he said guiltily.
"Oh, no problem, it's fi-ahine!" Raising my shoulders had bared a small strip of skin at my waist, and Jareth had knelt down and attached his tongue to it. Reaching around, I shoved on his shoulder to dislodge him, but he simply wrapped his arms around either of my thighs and braced himself. Apparently he didn't mind falling, so long as he took me with him.
"Uhm, well, if you're sure…" Jeff said, obviously confused. Oh, god, he must think I was a lunatic.
The hands on my thighs moved perilously high, and the waistband of my pajama pants started slowly sliding down, revealing my lime green undies. Panicking, I bumped my butt back at Jareth's face, hoping to dislodge him.
"It's really -" I shrieked as his teeth nipped at me.
"Thanks for everything; my ravioli is burning; I've got to go!" I rushed and hung up, twisting around to swat at my attacker.
"What the hell is the matter with you? Since when does 'don't touch me or I'll beat you' translate into 'please bite my butt'?" I demanded.
Jareth pretended to look innocent, which seemed a tad insincere, considering he was kneeling behind me with his hands wound possessively around my inner thighs.
"Well, you proffered it to me so nicely, I thought that was what you wanted," he said, and a tiny smirk pulled at his lips. "Is there something else you'd like me to bite?"
I growled. "Yeah, your tongue. Now get off me, my ravioli really is burning," I ordered and tried to wriggle my way out of his hold. He tightened his hands, brushing his fingers upwards, and I froze as that tingle I had briefly fantasized about came way too close to becoming a reality.
Jareth's eyes sparkled merrily. "Say your right words, Sarah."
I narrowed my own eyes, looking as murderous as I could manage. "Imminent. Castration."
Laughing, Jareth released me and rose back to his feet, following close behind as I rescued my lunch. I barely had time to turn off the stove and move the pot before he plastered himself back against me.
His hands splayed out against my stomach, the warmth and tingles melding with the flutters in my tummy and the low heat starting to rise, and ran his lips along my neck. He pressed his hips flush against mine, and I felt that blush rising back up at his obvious arousal.
"Jareth," I said warningly, but somehow on the way to my vocal cords 'warning' had gotten mixed up with 'low pleading', and the desired effect was completely lost.
He groaned softly against my neck and raised his mouth to my ear. "Say my name like that again and I'll do anything you wish," he said, and my breath caught at the need, the bone-deep want for me, the sort of hunger that made my knees forget to hold me up, that edged his voice.
I leaned my head back and raised my arm, pulling his face to mine, and kissed him.
Jareth growled deep in his throat and clutched me hard against him, his fingers curling into my hips as his skin hummed against mine. His heart was racing, beating just as fast as my own, and I briefly wondered if he could feel my heartbeat like this.
I loved the way he tasted, something familiar and foreign at the same time, like a memory I didn't remember having, and I tangled my fingers in his hair, trying to pull him closer, trying to get more of him.
His low, hungry growl buzzed against my lips again and he pushed us forward, pinning me against the stove -
Jareth yelped, breaking away from me and shaking his hand. I blinked in confusion as he glared first at his finger, and then at the hot eye where my forgotten ravioli had been, before my brain kicked back in and I realized he had burned himself.
"Well, that's what you get for trying to seduce me next to a hot stove," I said breathlessly. He growled and inspected his finger.
"I was not trying to seduce you, Sarah; I was seducing you. There is a distinct difference," he snapped, and stuck his finger in his mouth, resorting to the instinctive 'suckle-it-better' approach. I rolled my eyes and turned around.
"Here, let me see," I said, pulling his hand free of his lips and inspecting it for myself. It was red, but not blistering or white around the edges. Probably painful, but it would fade in a few hours. "And besides, I'm in the middle of cooking. There are better times for attempted seductions," I told him absently.
"I was not attempting! Your little friend Jeff was attempting, poorly, I might add. I, however, am quite proficient at this sort of thing. I was succeeding."
My eyes shot to his face, mildly outraged and slightly shocked, and I felt my jaw trying to drop.
"I don't believe it," I said. Jareth cast me a dark look.
"Trust me, darling, in a few more minutes, you'd have been putty-"
"No, no - that's not what I meant." Though, it's entirely true. "You're jealous of Jeff, aren't you?"
Jareth's eyes narrowed, but he gave no response.
I laughed incredulously.
"I can't believe that actually worked! What do you have to be jealous of Jeff over?" I demanded disbelievingly. He had seemed utterly unimpressed by Jeff when I had staged their meeting and certainly not threatened in any way.
"I mean, you're a King, for one, and he just owns a publishing firm. And you can't be jealous of his looks - you're so conceited you make Narcissus look self-conscious. You're not even human," I protested. Jareth never changed his wary, displeased expression.
"It was not his status, appearance, or species I was jealous of, princess," he said tersely. I threw my hands up.
"Then what? It was pretty obvious I wasn't interested in him. Was it the air he was breathing? The space he took up? The…" I trialed off, several things suddenly clicking into place - like how Jareth had started trying to win back my attention as soon as he found out it was Jeff on the phone, and how he had shown up almost immediately after I returned from my date and had taken twice as long with his romantic dinner, and even our bargain itself…
"You're jealous of the time I'm spending with him?" I realized. Jareth huffed.
"Well, he does seem to use up quite a lot of it," he snapped. I rolled my eyes.
"He does not. I've spent just as much time, if not more, with you. And anyway, half the time I was with him I was thinking about y-"
I clamped my mouth closed, my teeth clacking together, and wished that stupid filter between my mind and my mouth would function properly.
Jareth positively preened, beaming at me. I scoffed and pushed him away, grabbing my ravioli and a spoon and eating straight out of the pot.
"You already knew I was thinking about you on my date anyways, what with that whole wineglass thing," I said around a mouthful of slightly burned, noodley goodness, waving my spoon for emphasis.
"Hearing you say it is another thing entirely, precious thing," he argued, sliding back over to me and brushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers traced the shell of my ear, a surprisingly tender gesture, and he softly placed a chaste kiss on my shoulder.
I turned, giving him a cautious look, and was surprised at the depth of emotion on his face. There were things there that I could name if I wanted, but I was a little frightened to - I wasn't sure I felt the same, and if I did, I wasn't sure I was actually ready for that. Hell, I'd just seen him for the first time in a decade a few weeks ago, and I was on the verge of losing my apartment -
And suddenly my boobs were on fire, and I realized that I had dripped hot ravioli sauce all down my front.
Swearing, I dropped the pot back on the stove and pulled my shirt away from my skin, fanning at it and trying to beat down the embarrassment that was threatening to turn my skin the same color my shirt now was.
Laughing, Jareth shooed my hand way and tugged on the neckline, pulling it up over my head before I registered what the hell he was doing.
"Take it off, you silly thing. Waving at it won't help," he chastised fondly and tossed the shirt on the counter while I gaped at him.
Grabbing a dish towel hanging over the oven handle, he ran it under cold water and pressed it to my reddened chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. I couldn't help but just stand there and blink - it was such a familiar act, so second nature, that I didn't feel the least bit embarrassed or uncomfortable to be standing shirtless in front of King Sexypants himself.
And if that didn't pave the way for a revelation, I was dimmer than Jeff.
I reached out, grabbing the front of Jareth's shirt, and pulled him into a desperate kiss. Who the hell cared if he hadn't apologized yet, or if my minions were still destroying his castle, or if I was going to be homeless this time tomorrow? I wanted Jareth, had wanted for some time, and was going to have him, now.
"Sarah-" he mumbled, his words smushed against my lips, and tried to separate himself from me. I ignored his efforts and pressed myself against him, sliding my thigh against his still-semi-hard erection.
"Shut up," I commanded.
And he did.
Without warning, Jareth unleashed himself on me, clutching me tightly to him as though trying to melt us together, and the soft, tingly aura of magic that surrounded his skin became a full-blown, humming buzz. It was like static electricity had suddenly upgraded to live wires, and I gasped at the sudden change. He thrust his tongue into my mouth at the opportunity and we stumbled back into the counter, trying desperately to climb into one another. I boosted myself up and wrapped my legs around his waist, unhesitantly grinding against him, and moaned happily as that electric pulse throbbed between my legs.
We kissed and nipped at each other, grabbing and clutching at every bit of the other we could reach, twining our fingers in hair and tugging at lips with our teeth. I sharply yanked Jareth's shirt from his pants, not caring a bit as I heard several stitches popping, and helped him pull it off, eager for more of his skin against mine. He jerked sharply on my bra clasp, probably bending the metal, and I impatiently wriggled out of it and pressed myself to his bare chest. Our heartbeats buzzed against one another, each perfectly timed to offset the others.
"Do you feel this, too?" I asked, pressing a hand to his chest as our lips brushed against each other's skin.
"Yes," he groaned, sucking hard on my rapidly pounding pulse point. I made some sort of surprised gaspy-moany noise and writhed against him, drawing a shudder out of him as I raked my nails down his exposed back.
He growled and nipped at my shoulder, slipping his fingers under the waistband of both my pants and underwear and sliding them down. Eager to help, I braced myself around his waist and grabbed his shoulders, lifting myself up enough to get them over my hips, and settled back on my kitchen counter as I pulled away from him enough to shake them off.
Jareth looked me over hungrily, sitting naked and ridiculously aroused on top of my cabinets, and grinned in a very satisfied, predatory manner as he met my gaze. I felt a little thrill at the knowledge that he wanted me, in the sort of primal, instinctive, blood-to-blood way that set my heart racing, the kind that remembered the thrill of the hunt and reveled in the chase, and grinned invitingly back.
Reaching out a leg, I hooked it around his waist and pulled him to me, molding myself back to his body -
And cried out as the intensified buzz of magic around him practically vibrated between my legs, directly against that notorious little bundle of nerves and sending an involuntary spasm through my limbs, the sensation far more concentrated and powerful than I had expected. Jareth growled hungrily and thrust against me, watching as I tensed and shuddered and basically had a seizure. I put a hand on his chest as I felt him shift his hips to do it again, shaking my head.
"Wait," she gasped, her buzzing hand flat over his heart as she tried to stave off her building climax. The pulse of her magic, his magic, shivered over his skin as she shuddered, and he wondered if it was reacting to her muscle contractions. That was going to be an interesting sensation.
Jareth had never felt this before, and it was an unbelievably wonderful discovery. And certainly one that deserved to be fully examined. He cocked a challenging eyebrow at her as she tried to regulate herself and grinned.
She didn't honestly believe that she was only going to come once, did she?
"No," he said, amused, and watched her lovely face as he pushed her over the brink.
He thrust against me once more, and I came violently, stars whiting out my vision as I clutched at him and convulsed, throwing my head back and keening.
Instead of waiting it out, Jareth pulled me off the counter and took us to the floor, far more gracefully than I could have ever managed on my own, and thrust two of his tingly fingers inside me, stroking a fleshy little spot that had me nearly begging for mercy.
"Oh, hohgod, please," I moaned, one hand clutching at his chest and the other wrapped around his arm, undecided if I wanted to stop him or urge him on. It was frighteningly intense, more than I could bear to handle but dear god I did not want him to stop.
"Please what, Sarah," he prompted, leaning over me with a feral light in his mismatched, hungry eyes. "Tell me what you want."
I would have scoffed if I'd had the brain power - like I could form a coherent thought with him shattering any semblance of control, much less a sentence - I didn't even know what I wanted -
Another climax ripped through me suddenly, riding on the fading waves of the last one, and I bucked uncontrollably, digging my fingers into his flesh as I tried not to scream.
Hastily scooting backwards, I shoved Jareth's hand away from me and lunged at him, pleasantly surprised that my trembling limbs responded to my commands at all, and shoved him back onto the floor.
Jareth laughed as Sarah attacked him, pulling his pants roughly down and over his hips. He helped her rid himself of the last bits of clothing and latched himself to her, reveling in the tingling shock of her shuddering skin as it pressed against him.
She was so beautiful like this, hungry and wild and utterly untamable, trying to devour him just as urgently as he was trying to devour her.
He pulled her leg around his waist and rolled her back under him, shivering with her as he pressed against her and -
They moaned together, pausing for a moment to appreciate the feeling. He was right - this was an interesting sensation.
I have no idea which of us moved first, but after that first stroke, I realized I was now addicted to this.
Sex with Jareth was like riding lightning.
Our limbs tangled together and we did more biting than kissing, tasting each other and moaning encouragements, while the irresistible buzzing pulse of magic between us brought more than just our skin to life. We fit perfectly together, from the important ways like the width of his hips and the size of his… assets, right down to the way my ankles nestled into the curve of his waist and the way his head rested in the nook between my shoulder and my throat. This didn't feel like an intimacy shared between two people - this felt like a reunion of two halves, finally made whole.
Though at first I didn't pick up on it, I noticed that our pace had slowed, though none of the urgency had faded, and we were clinging to each other for closeness, rather than desperate hunger. I sighed as he hit a particularly pleasant angle, and Jareth kissed me, thoroughly and slowly, and I suddenly realized that we weren't just having sex anymore - and the realization both thrilled and absolutely terrified me.
Raising himself slightly, Jareth moved over me, watching as I reacted to him with something extremely close to tenderness. There was something in his eyes, a look that I wasn't used to but instinctively knew, and as I watched him I felt the slowly building heat in my stomach, gently rising this time, and I pulled him down again to kiss me as I let it wash over me, pulling him along in the tide.
I lay next to Jareth on my kitchen floor, sweaty and a little bit sore and extremely satisfied, and wondered vaguely if my ravioli was still warm.
"I think we may have scarred my dog," I murmured sleepily. Jareth chuckled, lazily tracing abstract patterns over my back.
"How terrible," he said sardonically. I gave him a warning growl, though the after-glow languor that had infected me robbed it of most of its weight.
"You're going to have to buy him an enormous steak to make up for this," I said. Jareth glanced at me and opened his mouth
- And was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.
I growled, muttering a few choice words about the questionable lineage of my visitors, and reluctantly pulled myself from Jareth's side. He chuckled at me.
"Now, darling, be charitable. At least they had decent timing," he pointed out. I gave him a feral grin and tossed his pants at him.
"If they'd been much earlier, I'd have had you bog them," I retorted, looking around for my own clothing and realizing that my pants were in an impressively hopeless tangle, and my shirt was still saturated with ravioli sauce.
I sighed heavily, snatching Jareth's shirt instead and pulling it on. I blinked in surprise as my skin rubbed against the cloth - this was quite possibly the smoothest, softest shirt in existence. I hoped Jareth didn't want it back, because I could definitely see myself getting rather attached to this.
The doorbell buzzed again impatiently.
"Yeah, I hear you! I'm coming," I shouted through the layers of fabric, and noticed that Jareth's shirt had a rather sizeable rip in the side now. I grimaced and looked apologetically at him as my fingers wiggled in the gap. "Sorry."
Jareth, still pantsless, looked decidedly pleased for someone whose shirt I had just destroyed and then stolen. Of course he would like the way I looked in his shirt, the possessive bastard…
I blushed, hauling myself to my feet and trying not to smile.
"Would you put some pants on so I can open the door?"
He blinked. "You want me to stay?"
I gave him a funny look. "Of course I want you to stay," I said, stepping over him to walk to the door. "It'll be kinda difficult to ravish you senseless again if you're elsewhere," I said, throwing an impish grin over my shoulder.
"That is an excellent point," he agreed, grinning broadly, and slipped into his ridiculously tight trousers, rather more speedily than I would have expected. I winked at him as I opened the door.
On the other side was a decidedly rough-looking, though not unpleasantly so, dark-haired man, dressed in simple jeans and a tee-shirt, with numerous grease smudges on his face and arms. He looked mildly peeved when I opened the door, but quickly warmed up when he noticed my pantslessness.
"Miss Williams?" he asked, leaning his shoulder on the door frame and casually angling himself in an appealing pose. I tried not to roll my eyes.
"The same," I agreed. "Can I help you?"
"Actually, it's a matter of how I can help you," he said with a grin, and held out a hand, dangling a set of keys off one finger.
I nearly danced in excitement as I reclaimed them. "My baby!"
"We combed it bumper to bumper, but couldn't find a single thing wrong with it. We have no idea why it wouldn't start."
I didn't expect them to. Magical sabotage seemed unlikely to leave behind evidence - except maybe glitter.
"Well, sorry to put you through all that trouble for nothing. How much do I owe you?" I asked, slipping behind the door to grab my purse.
"Not a thing, sweetheart," he replied.
I froze. No, Jeff didn't…
I poked my head back around. "What do you mean? Surely this must have been expensive."
He winked. "Very. Someone must really like you," he grinned and eyed my attire pointedly. I blushed and glowered at him.
"Jeff Garner is not responsible for my finances, no matter how fond he is of me, and I will not have him paying for this. Tell me how much it was," I demanded.
The greasy ruffian smirked. "Sorry, sweetheart. No can do."
I leveled the most intimidating glare that I could muster while not wearing pants at him.
"Call me 'sweetheart' one more time and I will rip off your ears and shove them up your nose. This is not your choice, and you have no right to withhold it from me. Now, tell me how much," I commanded.
The mechanic looked slightly uneasy. "Really, ma'am, I can't. Garner made it very clear that you were not to be charged. No offense, but your lover's quarrel isn't worth my job," he said.
I growled in frustration. I'd thought Jeff had finally taken the hint…
"Look, pal, I-"
"My good fellow, you are disrupting a decidedly personal, extremely good time, and we would very much like to get back to it," Jareth said, sliding up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. The grease monkey's eyes widened in surprise as he saw my companion and I suppressed a grin as I leaned back into Jareth - he'd probably thought I'd had Jeff hiding shirtless somewhere. "Now, I fully understand your reluctance to disobey Mr. Garner, and Sarah, I am sure, is completely sympathetic and grateful of Mr. Garner's generosity and will respect his wishes. However, just for peace of mind, it couldn't hurt for you to simply tell us exactly how generous he was?" he said smoothly.
"Ah, well, I suppose not," he agreed, and told me the price.
I blanched, suddenly feeling a tad weak at the knees.
"Could I get a second opinion?" I asked weakly.
He laughed, winking and backing out of my doorway. "Lucky Garner fancies you, huh, sweetheart?" he quipped, and strode cockily away.
I growled after him, but Jareth tightened his hold around my waist and kicked my door shut.
"You know, you really are irresistibly adorable when you do that," he said, nuzzling against my neck. I growled at him, too.
"I am not adorable, I am ferocious and terrifying," I corrected. He chuckled.
"Adorably ferocious and terrifyingly cute," he insisted.
I elbowed him in the stomach, though not quite as hard as I probably should have. "You are just asking for a serious bruising, mister," I warned.
I felt his lips curl into a smile. "Mmm. Does this include a spanking?"
Grinning despite myself, I turned around in his arms, wrapping my own around his neck. "It includes quite a lot of screaming and yelling and severe pain."
Jareth slid his hands down and hoisted me up, locking his hands under my thighs as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Do tell me more," he encouraged, kissing along my jaw line. "I love when you say such naughty things."
I laughed, running my hands over his decidedly enjoyable shoulders.
"Your Highness, you are a shameless pervert," I accused. He hummed in agreement, and rearranged me slightly - and I blinked. "A shameless, insatiable pervert," I added. "You can't really…"
"Now, darling," he chastised, turning towards my bedroom. "Never tell a king he can't."
Grinning mischievously, I released my hold on his waist and slid to the floor, stopping him as we passed my couch and dragging him onto it. "You can't make me come that many times again," I said evenly.
He arched a brow imperiously. "Sarah, my precious thing. Is that a challenge?"
"You bet your sparkly, leather-clad ass it is," I grinned.
AN: Several announcements of great import this time, loves! First : I have been a busy little authorial bee, and now have another story (for another fandom, under another pen name) for your reading pleasure, should you feel so inclined. It's a Confessions Of Georgia Nicolson fic, and if you haven't read/heard of this, please go get a book from the library or somesuch because it is snort-tea-out-your-nose hilarious. The link is in my profile - hope to see some of you there!
Second: I got a review from Jareth. No, not kidding! The real, honest-to-sparkles Jareth! It's astounding and fabulous and I am so giddy right now. We've documented the Jareth Phenomenon over in the Harem of any of you would like to check it out (link is in my profile, of course) though only members can view the conversation. Has anyone else gotten a review or any sort of correspondence? Please share!
And thank you so effing much for the reviews, darlings! It really does make my day, you have no idea. Also, this is the second-to-last chapter here, loves! Just one more to wrap things up (and probably let the little lovebirds shag a few more times, because I am a perv) and possibly an epilogue! So near the finish... and yet so far.
Freak-4-God - Terribly sorry to disappoint, darling! Hopefully this chapter makes up for that? :)
Nanenna - Well, Jeff is a man, and therefore stubborn beyond all reason. Fear not, though, he won't be making a fool of himself this time around. As for Ziggy - I think perhaps Sarah did not particularly care. After all, she already armed them with silly string and super balls….
Skylinger - I agree - sort of - but I would probably still slap someone for doing that to me. Unless it was Jareth. :)
Aikenichi11 - Lol! I think he's okay with how things turned out. I haven't read that particular fic, but if it comes recommended, I'll have to check it out. :)
…I feel like a terrible author now. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long!
Arynwy - Jareth would be quite a few things, were I Sarah. Incapable of leaving, for one. ;) Lol! Jeff's literal manhood is not in peril, thankfully, though his ego certainly is - and his sanity, apparently, because he isn't quite gone yet.
Kiruya - Lol! Hope this chapter was a little more satisfying (pun fully intended). Alas, you've spoken too soon - Jeff hasn't quite left the building. And he isn't really creepy… is he?
MyraValhallah - My, you are a vicious one, aren't you? :) Knew I liked you. Glad you enjoyed, darling!
Little Margarita - I aim to please, love! And yes, many many kudos to His Majesty for the show of restraint - though I doubt anyone was actually happy with that particular ending, haha.
Coffee Kris - I would be delighted for you to be my story's godmother, though I must request that you don't lock it in any towers or turn it into anything… unnatural, if it's not too much trouble. :)
Alas - I lied. Nothing until late March. I am a horrible, horrible person. It is no secret, I'm afraid. Though I am very much partial to non-quackiness, and therefore support your decision to not make me feathery.
Yes, I was a naughty girl and posted the chapter Un-Beta'd. However, this go-round was properly edited before distribution. :D
Hoping you enjoyed this one as well, darling!
The Three March Hares - :D Oh, how I love flattery.
Horcruxhorror - It is good to know I am not the only one afflicted with this particular disease. :D Thank you for the solidity.
UndergroundDaydreams - Have I mentioned how pretty you are lately? Really, I love getting reviews from you. You are so fabulous at it. And yes, poor, pitiful Jeff…
Scriptrix-scriptorum - Lol! Yes, bit of a backfired plan there, hmm, Your Majesty?
Sorry about the work troubles, love. Need me to lend you a goblin?
LeannaPotter2.0 - My, you are a sliver-tongued one, aren't you? A kick in the pants sugar coated with adoring flattery? I am quite fond of you. :D Though I am rather inexcusably tardy with these things.
Good heavens. Has she seen the tunnel bit? He's all man there, honey.
Mnleonard - :) Glad you enjoyed, love! And thank you (belatedly) for the November luck - It was much appreciated.
Writerton - So glad you liked, darling! Thanks for the review
Ellen-Ruby - Ah, ah, darling, counting chickens and hatching and whatnot. Jeff has not retracted his sexy-car claws quite yet. :)
And I am delighted you so enjoyed yourself! Thank you very much to the review!
Darkbangle - Ooh, college - the stealer of sociability. Horrid place, that. Only decent part of the whole thing was the… well, actually the only indecent part was the work.
Yes! I ADORE you! Finally, someone who doesn't want to string Jeff up by his toenails. He's not a bad guy, right?
Thank you (belatedly) for the luck on my NaNo, darling - it was greatly appreciated.
Crafty Joe - Hahah, I love the image! Hope your present was up to snuff. :)
Ljuba - Egad! I was wondering about the small teams of warty people that seemed to want to followme around, recently.
Kagura - Feel free to take out the dog. He's a Pomeranian. And awful. I am rather fond of my cousin, though…
:) I'm glad you like it, love.
Surelady - Lol! I do love Ziggy. He's so freakin adorable. Shame on Jareth for defending his castle against such an onslaught of cuteness! And thanks for the wineglass - a little bit of brilliance that popped out of a drunken Monday, haha. Thank you for the review, my lovely little Scot!
Jedi Kacee - Lol! Apologies, darling. Try thinking of baseball, I've heard that's effective.
MagicalMischief - Wow! All eleven - that is quite impressive. I feel like I owe you a prize or something… How about a nice phallic badge?
Lassin Sayne - :D Delighted. Flattery is always so lovely.
MichArela - You know, all these cries for 'more' is seriously going to affect my ego. My lover is going to be so disappointed….
I'm so glad you enjoyed, darling! :) I hope this chapter lived up.
Insanityfairy - Alas, March was not so quick in coming…. Sorry for making you wait, lovelies.
Timestitcher - Well, not so much for the quick updating, but UST officially resolved. :) NaNo went about as well as writing an entire novel in a single month could be expected, I suppose, but thank you for the thoughts!
Dancingwithdemons - An odd bit of coincidence, but my NaNoWriMo novel's working title was Dances With Goblins. :) Therefore, I quite like your name. And I am pleased to acquiesce to your request.
Gnomelover - Sorry to have kept you so long, love!
Wunderkamel - I am such a horrid author. Thank you for bearing with me, darling!
Cybernetic Mango - Fear not, darling, I am actually invincible. Nothing but kryptonite and very sharp criticisms can wound me! (Oh, dear, I've just posted my weaknesses. I do hope no one knows where to find kryptonite nowadays.)
Digitalwitch18 - Well, it is nearly finished, only one chapter left! Glad you've enjoyed, darling.
Dontgotaclue88 - I'm flattered! Thank you for that, darling, and for the lovely review.
Yasu Uchica - Lol! Reading-induced mush is quite amazing in an of itself, darling, and I am suitable pleased with this review. Thank you for taking the time! (And I didn't kill anyone, myself included, during the month, so I'm counting it as a success.)