A/N: Well here is the next chapter. I am really liking this story so far. I hope you guys are too.

Chapter 6

Probably Wouldn't Be This Way-Leann Rimes

Day 67

What did I just agree to? Logan thought to himself. He was sitting in front of Kendall's headstone staring at the blank piece of paper in front of him. He already knew what song was describing his emotions so he jotted down the lyrics.

Got a date a week from Friday with the preacher's son
Everybody says he's crazy
I'll have to see

I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came
I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves
I'm probably going on and on
It seems I'm doing more of that these days

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you
Susan says that I should just move on
You oughta see the way these people look at me
When they see me 'round here talking to this stone

Everybody thinks I've lost my mind
But I just take it day by day

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes I feel an angel's touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Probably wouldn't be this way

Got A Date a week from Friday with the preacher's son
Everybody says I'm crazy
Guess I'll have to see

Kendall,

Carlos just came by to see me and I feel guilty for what I have just agreed to. I feel like I am betraying you even though you have been gone for two months. But is it really that way?

The short latino had stopped by Logan's house again unannounced and had a wide grin on his face when Logan opened the door.

"Logan, I want you to promise me that you will say yes to what I am about to say." He said with a huge smile.

"Carlos, I've learned not to do that. It's going to depend on what it is." Logan said with a sigh.

Carlos hesitated for a second before he started talking. "Look, its been two months and I think you should go out with someone. I know a guy who is very interested in you."

Logan gave him a confused and stupid look. "Carlos, it's only been two months. I'm not ready to move on."

Carlos gave him a disappointed look. "Kendall wouldn't have wanted you to be miserable, you don't even have to call it a date. Just a little get together with you and a guy I know."

"Carlos that is a date." Logan said getting frustrated with his friend. He didn't want to even begin to think about moving on.

"Come on dude, it will be good for you to get out. You never leave unless its to go to work and we are all worried. Look I promise if you do this for me, I won't bug you about moving on anymore but at least try. Besides I already told Alex you would go out with him." Carlos said with a nervous look on his face. "And if you don't go Alex will be so mad at me and then I will be miserable."

Logan sighed. He didn't really want to go out with this guy but he didn't want to disappoint Carlos either. He groaned. "When?"

Carlos smiled. "Well Alex will pick you up a week from this Friday to go out. I told him to be here at seven."

"I'll go, but I'm telling you right now I will not go on any other dates with this guy." Logan said with a defeated look on his face.

Carlos couldn't help but grin. "Alright, one date is all I'm asking for anyways."

Carlos left right after that agreeing to meet Logan at Kendall's grave in two hours after picking up James from the airport.

I don't know why I agreed but I couldn't stand to disappoint Carlos. I hate disappointing people, you know that better then anyone. But it seems like my life has become some what of a routine now. I get up, shower, eat, go to work, go to the cemetary, come home, eat again, watch tv then go to sleep and some nights, like tonight, I write you.

The hospital is getting better. Dr. Worthen is recommending me for med school, which I guess is exciting but I won't start that for almost six months. I think it is time I finally pursue my dream of being a doctor now that I finished school this last fall. I am ready to start helping people.

I'm getting off topic however, after I agreed to go on this date this song popped into my head. It seems to describe exactly how I am feeling at this point. If I had never met you I wouldn't be in the pain I am right now. I would be happy and probably be a doctor. But then again I know that a love like ours was rare. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I miss you so much babe. Every part of me aches for you. My heart especially. I visit your grave everyday. Even if its snowing or pouring down rain. I never miss a day, I haven't missed one in weeks. Even if I'm out here at midnight, I still have to see you.

Logan was at Kendall's grave sight with James and Carlos. "Hey babe, I just stopped by to see you and I brought James and Carlos with me today."

James and Carlos were staring at Logan with a confused look on their face. They didn't say anything. "James flew in today to spend a week here." He explained to the head stone. He didn't want to meet the gaze of his two friends because he was sure they were thinking how crazy he was.

"Carlos told me you're going on a date next week." James said casually.

"I guess. I wouldn't consider it a date." Logan said sadly.

"You need to move on, you can't cling to Kendall forever." James said. "If you do that you will just be alone and miserable all your life."

Logan didn't say anything after that. He stood in an awkward silence with his two friends. After about twenty minutes they decided to leave. "Are you coming?" James asked softly.

Logan shook his head. "No, I'm going to stay here a little longer and visit." He was looking at the grave because he was sure the two of them were giving him another weird look.

I come here all the time to see you. It makes me feel like I'm close to you again, dear. I told Carlos yesterday that I think I keep seeing you every where. He just gave me a weird look that pretty much told me he thinks I'm crazy.

I can't believe that they think I should move on already, I'm still mourning you, how the hell am I suppose to move on? You just passed two months ago. Even if a couple just breaks up the grieving process is longer than two months. How can they expect me to move on after two months when the love of my life died.

Carlos wants me to see someone to help me cope, but I'm not so sure of the idea. I don't know if I can pour my heart and soul out to someone I don't even know. My luck, I would get a homophobic shrink.

"I think I saw Kendall this morning in the kitchen." Logan said casually to Carlos the day before.

Carlos stopped eating for a second and looked at him. "What?" He asked in a worried tone.

Logan sighed. "I think I saw Kendall yesterday standing in front of the fridge staring at the schedule on it like he use to."

Carlos put down his fork, and gave Logan an intense stare. Logan looked down at his plate of meatloaf and mashed potatoes that Mrs. Garcia had made for him. He couldn't help but feel awkward. "Seeing things isn't a good thing Logan."

"I know, but what if Kendall is trying to tell me that he is still here. He was in his fatigues with a shirt instead of his blouse on. He use to walk around like that all the time in the house. Maybe he is just trying to help me." Logan said trying to reason what he had just said to Carlos.

Carlos continued to stare at Logan like he was insane. "Logan, I didn't want to say anything because I was afraid you would flip your lid, but Katie, Jo and I think it would be a good idea if you went and saw someone."

It was Logan's turn to look at the latino like he was the insane one. "What like a shrink?"

Carlos nodded. "We don't think you are coping all that well and maybe seeing someone will help you learn how to cope in a more healthy way."

Logan got angry at Carlos. "I'm coping very well if you ask me. I lost my soulmate. That's not something you just bounce back from. I'm not hurting myself so its not like I'm coping in an unhealthy manner."

"Okay, I'm sorry. It was just a suggestion, geez." Carlos muttered.

Logan felt bad that he had snapped on Carlos. He knew that his friend was only trying to help. "No, I'm sorry Carlitos. I'll think about it, okay?"

Carlos didn't want to press his luck so he just nodded and then continued eating.

Now that I think about it, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to someone, but I'm not fully sure on that yet. I guess I have a lot of mixed emotions on it. But I meant what I said to Carlos, I swear I've seen you staring at the fridge in your fatigues, under shirt and combat boots. I see you as if it is real but when I blink or look away you are gone.

James and Carlos think I'm nuts you should have seen the way they were looking at me earlier when I was talking to your stone. I usually see you everyday, but I haven't seen you around in almost a week until this morning and I can't feel you around me as much as I use to. Kendall, are you leaving me completely? Because I don't know if I can handle that yet. I need you to stay just a little longer, please. I need to see and feel you around me because when I don't it just makes me upset.

I don't think I'm ready to let go yet, babe. So please just stay a little bit longer. I need you.

I guess I'll end this with…Got a date a week from Friday with the preacher's son, everybody says I'm crazy, guess we'll have to see.

I love you forever.

Logie Bear

Logan closed the notebook in front of him and made his way back to his car. He was honestly dreading when the time came for his date.

End Chapter

A/N: Poor Logan. The next chapter will have a little humor I promise. I will update tomorrow =)

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