Memories of a Fallen Soldier Chapter 11: Here Comes Goodbye, a big time rush fanfic

A/N: So this is following the video to this song. If you have never seen it, you should go watch it. It's a tear jerker, but amazing. This chapter has been planned out since the start of this story so I hope you guys like it.

Chapter 11

Here Comes Goodbye-Rascal Flatts

Day 116

Logan decided to dive right into it this time. He was missing two people right now. He started scribbling down the lyrics to a song.

I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And its not like her to drive that slow, nothin's on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye

I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play here comes the bride

Why does it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on, yeah and youre left alone
All alone, but here comes goodbye

Oh-oooo

Kendall,

So for some reason, I'm not just missing you tonight. I've been mourning you for so long that I have been ignoring how much I miss my grandpa. But today, it seems that all that has caught up with me, all I seem to be able to think about is him and you. But for some reason, mostly him. Which is odd, because you have been the person who has been on my mind all the time and now he has just kind of taken your place.

Logan was fourteen years old and was opening his birthday present from his Grandpa Jim. He smiled when he had finally finished unwrapping it and saw a Minnesota Wild jersey. It was an exact replica of a real jersey. Logan instantly jumped up and hugged his grandpa tightly. "This is the best present ever!"

His grandpa wrapped his arms around him and hugged him again. Later when Logan was running around with Kendall, James and Carlos his grandpa stopped him and sat him down on the couch in the living room. Kendall had joined them, however.

"You know I was about your age when my grandfather gave me a Stars jersey like that. I wore it all the time. I didn't think I could love anything as much as I loved that jersey. When he passed away, I placed it right there next to him...sometimes life just seems like chapters are goodbyes." He said sadly.

Logan smiled at him and gave him another hug. "I'll wear this everyday grandpa, and I'm never going to take it off!"

Six months later his Grandpa Jim passed away of a sudden heart attack. Logan had been devastated and had wore the Jersey five times a week and would allow his mom to wash it twice a week. He held the jersey in his arms as he waited to take one final look at his hero, and when he walked up to his Grandpa's casket he softly placed the jersey on top of his grandpa, knowing that it was only right to do the same thing he had done.

Logan was a bearer and had carried his Grandpa to the hearse that would take him to his final resting place. Logan had cried the entire way to the actual burial and had thought about what his Grandpa had said on his birthday the entire way there.

I can't help but think that he was right. It does seem like chapters are goodbyes. A chapter ended when you passed and it was a goodbye. I miss you and him so much. Please tell him that I miss him so much. I think about him often. I still remember how awesome you were during all that. I was such a wreck and if it hadn't been for you, I don't think I would have made it. We were so young, but you were still so great through it all. You were always there to remind me that I had friends and family to help me through it and i can't even begin to count how many tears you wiped away.

So I didn't tell you what happened earlier today. I'm really worried about James and Carlos, babe. I mean like really worried. They were so upset today. I don't know what was wrong though, I kind of pieced it together but they never actually came out and said.

Logan had walked down that morning to see James and Carlos in his living room. They were sitting on the couch and looking at Kendall's flag that was on Logan's mantel. Logan said a good morning to them and went and got a drink of water before joining them in the living room.

When he walked into the living room, he sat down on the couch and looked at them for a few minutes. He didn't know what to say to try and soothe them. It was blatantly obvious that they were missing Kendall. Logan had been so fragile that he had been ignoring his two best friends. "I'm sorry about things guys. I really am."

Logan was surprised when they ignored what he had just said. He knew that they were hurting but there was no need for them to be so rude to him. He tried to brush it off. He saw James wrap his arms around Carlos. Carlos had broken down completely. Carlos was looking all over the room at his surroundings.

"I still can't believe it! I still can't believe that he is gone and we will never get to see him again. This isn't fair! Why?" Carlos sounded like he was miserable and wanted to die. Logan could tell just by looking at him how miserable his friend was. He stood up and joined James in wrapping his arms around him.

"We will make it through all of this. I promise. Together we can make it through this." James said trying to soothe him.

Carlos pulled himself together and nodded. Logan finally decided he would say something. "James is right, we all three need each other and we can make it through this together. We're best friends."

Carlos continued to silently cry in James' arms. It only got worse when he would look from Kendall's flag to the surroundings of the house.

It was like they were ignoring me. You don't think that they are mad at me for not caring that they were hurting too, do you? They left shortly after that, but I couldn't handle it if they thought I was being selfish. It was just that, you were my soulmate. I lost you and I was devastated. I am just now finally getting my life back together, baby.

I think they need you now more than I do. They are missing you, I can just tell by how they were today. I miss you more still, but right now they need to feel you with them even more than I do. I will love you forever Kendall and I will never forget you as long as I live.

Forever yours,

Logie Bear

Logan sighed and put his pen down and reread the note he had just written to Kendall. He jumped when he heard a familiar voice behind him. "Why are you writing me, Logan?"

Logan looked behind him and saw Kendall glancing over his shoulder. Logan couldn't help but be confused about what was going on. He had never had this big of a illusion that Kendall was standing right in front of him. "Kendall? How is this possible?" Logan asked in a confused tone.

Kendall couldn't help but frown at Logan. "You still don't understand, do you Logie?"

Logan shook his head so Kendall offered his hand to Logan. He reluctantly took it and was surprised when he could feel the warmth radiating from his lover's hand. Kendall pulled him away from his desk and suddenly they were in an office. They saw Carlos and James talking to someone. Logan looked around and instantly recognized the room as a funeral home. He listened in on the conversation.

"When did he pass away?" The funeral director, Wayne asked.

"He was pronounced dead this morning at two a.m." James said sadly. Carlos was next to him slowly letting his tears fall.

"Okay, and what was the full name of the deceased?" Wayne asked.

James sighed before he spoke again. "Logan Henry Mitchell." He whispered.

Logan looked at Kendall with fear clearly written on his face. He didn't know what to say to his boyfriend. Things were slowly starting to piece themselves together. Then a memory occurred to him.

Flashback

After his accident Logan was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. He had a splitting headache. He kept seeing flashes of things happening. First he was starring at his steering wheel and then he faded out. When he woke up next he was being loaded in the stretcher.

When Logan arrived at the hospital they did a scan on his head and found he had a severe concussion and said that if that was all that was wrong with him he could go home. But then his other results came back. He had a lot of internal bleeding that they had to try and stop.

Logan felt James and Carlos each squeezing one of his hands. "You are going to be going into surgery any minute now. Just stay strong." James said with a caring voice.

"And hold in there. We still need you here." Carlos said.

Logan was prepped and was taken to the operating room. But during his operation the internal bleeding was too much. His heart stopped and they couldn't revive him. Logan remembered now having an out of body experience. He watched as Carlos and James cried in front of the operating window. They watched as he flatlined and as the doctors gave up.

End flashback

Logan remembered everything now. His spirit was the one who went home the night before and finished writing his note to Kendall. He wasn't heard this morning because they were couldn't hear him. They weren't mourning Kendall, they were mourning him.

Logan couldn't help but gasp at this realization. He was dead, he had died earlier that morning. He looked at Kendall with horror clearly written on his face. Kendall however, couldn't help but chuckle at him.

"Oh, my sweet Logie, for being a smart guy, you can be pretty slow sometimes." He said with a grin on his face.

Logan couldn't help but glare back at him. He didn't know that he had died, he had blocked out everything that had happened between being told he had a concussion, until he arrived home. "I'm sorry that I didn't realize. How long did it take you to realize?" Logan asked curiously.

Kendall thought back. "A minute maybe. I was shot and then right after was running around again. I looked down and saw the medic trying to save me. But it was too late."

Logan was still frowning, but then another realization hit him and he smiled at Kendall and wrapped his arms around him and gave him a kiss. "Does this mean that I get to stay with you?" He asked in a hopeful tone.

Kendall chuckled at him. "Yes, you get to spend an eternity with me. I was sent down here to get you. You won't believe who was sent down to get me!"

Logan thought about it for a second. "Your dad?"

"No, he had to watch over Katie that day. It was your Grandpa Jim." Kendall said with a smile. "He was there waiting to take me across the gates with him."

Logan smiled. He took another glance at an upset James and Carlos and his heart ached to tell them how sorry he was they were going through this again. "What's it like?" Logan asked Kendall softly.

Kendall smiled at him. "There's no more goodbyes."

Logan gave Kendall a gentle smile. Kendall had always been touched by what his grandpa had said. Kendall held out his hand again. "Are you ready, Logie?"

Logan smiled even bigger. "I am. I love you, Kendall."

Kendall couldn't help but chuckle. "I love you too."

End Chapter

A/N: This chapter was a little hard to write. This video makes me think of my son. It's hard to lose someone but I wanted a happy ending. Even though this one is bittersweet, it's happy for Logan.

Reviews please