Disclaimer: I do not, as much as I wish I did, own OTH or any of the songs in this story. All I own is the plot of the story, and I barely own that.

AN: Lelina, Albert, and everyone else who reviewed or commented – I love you all! Without the encouragement from all the ships, I would have deleted this a long time ago. Have hope guys – her heart will lead her to the one person with whom she's meant to be.

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Chapter 17: Like a Star

Brooke sighed, glancing down at the box she'd dug from the back of her closet, and began removing the dusty objects. There were several pictures of her and Lucas during their senior year, kissing and hugging and touching and simply being in love for the first time. There were also the letters he'd written for her, most of them sweet and loving, while a very small few of them were dirty and had the ability to instantly arouse her. She smiled to herself as she pulled the Keith Scott Motors hoodie from under the letters; holding it against her cheek and breathing in the scent, that after all this time, was still purely Lucas. She let out a small laugh as she laid the hoodie back down; getting giddy with remembrance. She smiled sadly as her eyes fell on four sealed letters all addressed to Lucas Scott. She pulled each of them from the box, one at a time. Her eyes were helpless as she gazed upon the four letters she never had the courage to give him; each letter written taking place after some life altering event.

Letter number eighty-three was written the day of the school shooting she'd gone on for seven pages, telling him how much she loved him and hoped that his heart would survive losing Keith – how she hoped that she would survive losing Keith. There was an entire page detailing the petty jealousy she'd felt when he ran back in that school after Nathan and came back with Peyton in his arms. She chastised him for leaving her alone and putting himself in danger; she told him how she'd prayed for the first time in years for everyone's safe return and how she'd cursed God when the news of Keith's death reached her. Some of the words were illegible because she'd cried the entire time her pen was on paper, but it didn't matter. Brooke Davis would never write a letter more honest or more loving than this one because that was the day her entire life crashed down around her, never to be completely fixed again.

Brooke smiled as she picked up letter eighty-four, written right after she'd ended things with him their senior year, when she'd believed that she might be pregnant but was too scared to admit that to even herself. The words she'd written to him were heartbreaking and breathtaking, and she almost wanted to open the letter and reread the simple phrases she'd written him, but she wouldn't do that. Reading his letters would be a betrayal in her eyes, even though she was the one to write them.

Eighty-five was written after prom, detailing how scared she'd been when she'd been faced with Ian and how happy she'd been that he came to check up on her that despite the way she'd hurt Peyton. Again, she mentioned how much she loved him, and how she sometimes wished that things were different but that she would never tell that to Peyton. She spoke of how handsome he looked, and how she almost regrets ending things with him, almost.

Her eyes filled with tears as she glanced at letter eighty-six, the last letter, the one she'd written after Luke kissed her in New York. She half smiled, remembering that she'd signed this letter different than all the rest; she'd signed it with a kiss and the words, "Lucas Scott is the only boy I might have lost it for." She shook her head, laying the letter on her bed in front of her, knowing that her last words in that letter wouldn't mean a thing to the writer; he'd never understand.

Brooke looked at her bed, feeling gloomy, and began placing the items back in the box. As she laid the last letter inside, she whispered softly to herself, "I'll always love you, Lucas Scott, but I'm done putting my life on hold for you…Today I'm gonna fight for something new and wonderful; thoughts of you won't hold me back from falling in love any longer…" She smiled and shrugged slightly, "I'm done."

Brooke smiled to herself and pushed the box under her bed before rushing off to the bathroom to get ready; tonight was the night that she would change her stars and fight for what she wanted.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

He stared down at her beautiful face as she slept, the guilt of his betrayal weighing heavily upon him. The blond-haired, blue-eyed boy frowned and gently swept a strand of hair from his fiancé's face; even now, when they'd been together on and off for years, she was still one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. His gaze softened slightly and one of his hands fell to her stomach; the stomach that was currently nurturing his unborn child.

Lucas sighed and sat up with his back against the headboard, his thoughts returning back to his ex-girlfriend and the impromptu kiss they'd shared out on the River Court a few nights before. He watched Peyton sleep, his chest hurting with the knowledge that if she ever found out what he'd done, their relationship would end, and that couldn't happen. That couldn't happen because Lucas Scott loved Peyton Sawyer, and he had since the day she almost ran him over with her comet.

Lucas's eyes darkened ever so slightly and his quiet voice echoed through the silent room, "But maybe it's not enough…to love her." He shook his head, "Because not only did Brooke Davis change the world, but she changed mine." He let out a soft laugh of desperation, "She's the girl that got away. No, the girl I let get away…"

He stood, quickly throwing on his clothes, and hopped into his mustang. This had to finish. One way or another. With her or without her. His head had already made a decision; it chose Peyton. But now his heart had to make a decision before it was too late and he ruined all of their lives.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Julian stared up at the aging building with a look of trepidation; he shook his head, sure that Sam must have gotten the address wrong. She'd called him a little over an hour ago, when he'd been in the middle of a meeting, and told him that she'd snuck out to some party a few hours ago when Brooke was in her room and needed a ride home. She'd cried and begged and, being the softy that he is, Julian had dropped the entire meeting to come to the aid of his…whatever she was to him now.

The producer frowned when he reached the door, the soft and melodic music he heard wasn't what he was expecting from the way Sam had sounded on the phone; he's expected loud drums and screaming words, none of which he could hear. He laid his head against the door, listening as the song changed and the voice of a young girl replaced the old love song that had been playing before. He recognized the song immediately as 6 Months by Hey Monday; Sam had made him listen to it weeks ago, saying that she believed that his relationship with Brooke was a direct example of the song. He smiled sadly, listening to the words:

You're the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'Cause you have that effect on me, you do

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

Months going strong now, and no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me, I love you harder

He frowned, knowing that if the song represented their love, then he was the one singing; she didn't love him nearly as much as he loved her. That much was evident to him.

He stepped through the door and his eyes grew wide. On every wall of the house, words were painted. Quotes from movies and television shows and books and songs scattered the walls; screaming words of love into the open air. His eyes landed on lyrics by Edwin McCain, and he grinned; that was his favorite love song:

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead

And Brooke knew that. There were several other songs on the wall that he recognized as he began exploring the house: Never Let This Go by Paramore and Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey. He smiled when he reached the dining room and noticed the array of flowers and candles, and he inhaled sharply when he heard the voice from behind him.

"I didn't know what your favorite kind of flower was, so I went with roses. And we never really talked about your music preference, so I went with the sappiest ones I could find. And you never said what your favorite color was, so the paint on the walls is green because I feel like it suits you…I still don't know you, the things that make you tick or cry or laugh, but I don't want to lose you. I made a huge mistake when I walked out of that hotel room; I should have pushed and shoved and fought for you…I love you, Julian Baker; I really do."

He turned, his eyes filled with tears, and his jaw dropped at the sight of her. Her dark hair was pinned up in loose curls, revealing her face which wore just the right amount of makeup, and the dress she wore clung to her body in all the right ways; she was simply stunning. And, in his eyes, at that moment in time, Brooke Davis was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on, but he couldn't escape the voice in his head that screamed that she wasn't really his and never would be.

"But are you in love with me?"

It was then that her smile faltered, "Julian…"

"Because if you are, you should have said yes. It's that simple, Brooke."

Brooke's tentative smile turned to a grim frown, "It's not simple; there is nothing simple about this situation. I know I screwed up when I let myself get so close to Jake, but it didn't mean what you think it did." Her eyes softened and she stepped closer to him, "I promise."

He scoffed, taking a step back, his eyes surveying the interior of the house again, and, for a second, he almost forgave her. He shook his head, his eyes both angry and hurt, "You don't get it – it's not about Jake Jagielski or Lucas Scott or even Peyton Sawyer – our problems, our issues, are because of you."

Her eyes widened and she took a tentative step backward, "That's not fair…I spent a week working on this place for you. I have been working my ass off trying to find a way to make you see that I am finally ready to fight for what I want, and I want you."

"You know what's not fair? How about the fact that I was willing to move here to this crappy little town for you and give up my entire career for you, and all you had to say about it was, 'I'm not ready'? You take and take and take! You don't love me, and you sure as Hell didn't do all this," he gestures to the room, "for me. You did it for you – to ease your guilt."

Tears began making their way down her cheeks and her mascara left a thin trail on her radiant skin, "I never asked you to give up your entire life for me…And, for the record, this is not about guilt." Her voice broke slightly and she dipped her head to hide her face, "I did all of this because I wanted to fix us. I wanted you to see that I'm serious about us, that this isn't some game to me…God, I was a fool to think that I could actually have found love."

She turned and walked away, hitting one of the vases of roses as she went. The vase hit the ground and the sound of glass breaking was all Julian could hear for a moment. It couldn't end like this; he couldn't let things with her end this way.

"Brooke!"

She turned back around, her face broken and pale. She shook her head at him sadly.

"You're the one for me, Brooke. But if you can't even look at me and say that you're in love with me, how can we ever hope to work?"

She walked back to him, taking his right hand in her left, "Love takes time. It takes patience. It's the most painful thing in the world and also the most pleasurable. My heart is fragile; it's breakable, but I'm willing to risk it. I'm ready to throw myself into this relationship fully, and someday I will be able to say that I'm in love with you, but, for now, why can't it be okay that I'm trying? I'm trying…So, tell me – is there a chance for us?"

Julian avoided her gaze for a minute, his eyes searching the walls for advice and finding only clichés and fairytales. His deep brown eyes lifted, finding her hazel ones, "I love you, I do. But I need a commitment; I need to know that this isn't just…that I'm not just a replacement or a second choice."

Brooke smiled but her in her mind she wore the biggest frown. Because she was about to tell the biggest lie. "You're not my second choice. You're the only choice."

Her mind shifted to that box of letters and pictures and she had to concentrate to keep the smile on her face. Brooke's eyes dropped to the ground when Julian put his arms around her, thinking to herself silently, "Brooke Davis is a fraud. She's a liar. She may love two men, but her heart only belongs to one." Tears fell down her cheeks and she tightened her grip around his neck, holding him closer. "This is wrong…He shouldn't be my number two."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Lucas's fists slammed into the door, and, though he knew he should be worried about neighbors and the teenage girl on the other side of the door, he couldn't seem to care. All that mattered was that he talk to Brooke.

He took a step back when the door was suddenly opened, revealing a very disheveled Chris Keller. Chris raised his eyebrow, "Oh look, it's the brooder who can't seem to keep his hands off of my best friend. What do you want?"

The blonde frowned, confused, "What are you doing here, Keller?"

Chris laughed quietly, "Sleeping."

Luke glared at him, his face completely serious, "Why are you here?"

"I live here. I have for a few weeks actually, but you would have known that if you hadn't screwed over Brooke again."

The brooding blond shook his head, "I didn't…"

"It doesn't matter," the musician's face was completely calm. "It doesn't matter why you kissed her, none of it matters anymore. You destroyed her; you always do." Luke's face dropped, pain in his eyes, "And the worst part is that I was hoping for the two of you to get back together; I have believed, since that stupid boy draft date that the two of you belong together, but I was wrong. You're with Blondie, and, unless you're planning on dumping her and the kid and losing all of Brooke's respect, I suggest you go home."

Luke sighed, thinking of his pregnant fiancé, "I can't. I can't go home until I know for sure that I made the right choice."

Chris's gaze fell, "She's not here, but if you really want to know just how much of her life you've managed to destroy so far, look under her bed." The brunette turned and walked back to his bedroom, praying to gods he didn't even believe in that he was helping more than he was hurting.

Lucas walked up to her bedroom slowly, not really sure if he wanted to see what Chris was offering him. He knelt next to her bed, the scent of her perfume nearly overpowering him, and his eyes immediately fell on the large box underneath. He ran his hands across it slowly and pulled it from beneath the queen sized bed. A smile fell on his face when he opened it to reveal four letters addressed to him.

"She does still love me…"

TBC...