Matt waited for Alesha as she left the Magistrate's office, later that evening. He couldn't ignore the look of undeniable sadness in her face as she walked out of the building. She wasn't aware he was watching her, so she hadn't bothered to put on her game face.
He walked towards her, determined to rectify the situation. His heart was beating fast, and all of his practiced words fleeing from his mind.
Alesha saw him striding towards her, and knew they were going to have that awkward yet inevitable conversation. so she prepared herself as much she could. she ignored the butterflies in her tummy. she banished the giddy feeling that seeing him brought on.
As he got close enough for him to hear, she said as blankly " oh hey Matt, what are you doing here?" she didn't look him in the eye. she looked beyond him as if something important was going to show up and she didn't want to miss it.
"Alesha, can we go for a coffee or something, we need to have a chat." Matt said as he stopped in front of her, searching her face, forcing her to look at him. " I'm not going to leave you alone, until you talk to me" He said when he noticed the look of hesitation plain upon her face.
" yea ok, coffee sounds good. Theres a place right around the corner unless you have somewhere else in mind?" Alesha said briskly as she moved away from him, towards the street.
Matt exhaled in relief before saying " No that place will be fine, lead on!" catching up with her quickly as she crossed the street. The short walk was in silence.
No small talk took place, and Matt realized how much he missed her teasing and light flirting. He noticed that even though she was walking beside him, there was an absence. and it hurt even more when he acknowledged that he was the cause of it.
Alesha led them to the nearest table and started to take off her coat and scarf. she quietly sat down and waited for him to settle in.
She knew she wasn't making this easy on him. but then again he sort of deserved it, perhaps next time he'll learn not to break a girls heart in such a callous manner, she thought to herself. She didn't get this far in life, letting people walk all over her , and she wasn't going to start now.
Matt looked at her rigid posture and smiled to himself," I really don't fancy being her enemy, I mean if this is how she treats someone she considers her friend, yea, no i think i'm going to try to stay on her good side"
"listen I want to apologize for how I reacted on Friday. it was really rude of me. It was just so unexpected and I was drunk..." he tapered off as he saw her eyebrow raise in response to his words.
" Matt, let's just forget about it. it was a mistake. it won't happen again" Alesha replied flatly, shaking her head in dismay after hearing his tragically lame excuses.
" No, Lesh, come on, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I'm not saying I kissed you because I was drunk-" He said quickly, trying to restart the already tattered communication lines.
" so then explain, Devlin. lay it all out for me, I'm listening. I've got the time" Alesha said rather testily. She dramatically put her elbows on the table, and her hands under her chin, eagerly waiting his reasons.
Matt took a deep breath before launching into an impassioned speech ' Well you know I really like you okay? its just that I don't do commitment. and you deserve a proper fully committed relationship which i can't give you. and that kiss well it was WOW but such a monumental mistake and I panicked okay? I screwed up, it should never have happened!"
he finally looked up to see her face, to see her reaction to his confession. and all he saw was sadness. She didn't try to hide it this time, she just let it show. she looked sad and defeated, as all the fight left her small body, and she suddenly looked so fragile.
This caught Matt unaware, "Alesha, I- I'm so sorry" he started trying to take her hand, before she waved him off.
She was bereft of all feeling, she almost always forgot that word, but there it was. she finally understood it in all its entirety. Alesha didn't think she'd ever forget it again.
He sat there, muted, there wasn't anything he could say that would make it all better. He had feelings for her yes, but did he want to be with her? he wasn't sure yet. and if he said that would it make it all better or would it make her feel worse?
It took what felt like ages for her to find her voice again, to regain her much sought after composure. " okay...Okay" she were the first words out of her mouth.
It was like waking up from a deep sleep, he watched as She sat up taller and shook her head as if clearing away the cobwebs within it. " right, Matt, while I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm going to have to go home now, okay? thankyou" and with that she took her coat and fled the coffee shop.
Matt sat there in shock, still staring at her now empty seat. " what the hell just happened?