Lordy lordy, I'm so sorry I took so long! :(

There's only one more chapter (that isn't completely finished yet, but it only really need editing), and then a epiloge, which is proving v difficult to write silly thing!

I'm kind of sad that it's all out there too...

Never mind... lots of 3

Jess

It was my eight month, and I was fucking huge. Rose and my relationship was still strained, but we were at least talking. Not much, but we were. Her and Emmett's relationship was always up and down, and completely sideways during others, and I'd walked in on them, you know, copulating, to many times to count, and was unfortunately able to say was kind of used to it. Alice and Jasper were still going strong, and she was now starting to complain how hard it was to fall pregnant, I had to scoff a laugh, and tell her she was trying too hard. She simply looked at me, raise an eyebrow, and bounced off to 'practice' some more. Sure there was plenty of sex in this house, and none of it was happening to me!

Edwards ring was permanently fixed to my neck with a long chain, so the ring fell on the bump, and was easy to conceal. Esme and Carlisle were still on a 'I-love-you-but-I-sure-as-hell-don't-want-to-talk-to-you' connection, as well as Carlisle in suspicion that it was Edward's baby in my tummy. I never did go to see Esme, and talk 'Babies', and I still felt guilty about it.

The police worked long and hard on Edward's case, and about three months ago, they'd found a decayed body, male, 6"4', and the time of death was at least two months before that. The police proclaimed finally it was Edward. The funeral was agonising, even after all that time. Jake literally held me flush to his body just to keep me upright. I'd told him everything, how Edward was Nessie's father, and how our relationship was so taboo, it was a secret, so he knew how hard it was for me. Esme and Carlisle stood on the other side of the grave, Esme wrapped in Carlisle's arms, just as I was in Jake's. When both parents walked forward throwing dirt, then white rose petals on Edward coffin, her eyes rose and she looked straight at me. She then disconnected the hold Carlisle had on her hand and took mighty strides around the grave before the group of people gathered to say a final goodbye to Edward. When she stood in front of me, she gave a small smile.

'I want you to go next' she whispered to me, clutching my hands in hers in front of my stomach.

I nodded, and Jake let me go into the capable hands of my would be mother-in-law.

She lead me around the grave, forced the dirt into my hands and let me sprinkle it gently on the coffin, just as she had, in my own time. Then handed me the bowl of petals.

With a shaky hand, I gently engulfed a handful. They were all white when I took the handful but when I looked again, there was one deep red rose petal right at the bottom of the bowl. I dropped the white petals, and fished out the one red rose petal. Holding it between my fingers, it felt like velvet. I let it go into the grave, watching as it floated so gently down, and into the darkness, like the white feather at the start of 'Forrest Gump'. When I looked into the grave again, the petal had landed right in the middle of the cross on the coffin. And a sense of peace took over my body. It was as if Edward was right there with me, wrapping his strong arms around me. I looked over to Esme, whose eyes were watering again, she took my shoulder, in her hand, and kissed my cheek. I was certain now she knew everything. And when I went back to Jake, and he wrapped me up again, she still stared at me smiling.

I'd attended the Mother's group weekly, and had started seeing Jake as well on the side. We hadn't let any one know yet. Not that there was anything too tell. It was like we were back in grade school, with our first partners. 'Yeah, that's my boyfriend/ girlfriend... No, I do not touch/kiss/hold hands with Him/ Her'. And Jake was acting plain weirdly.

His hand ghosted over my stomach for the umpteenth time as we lounged on a coffee shop couch. We had long since finished the cups and were asked if we wanted refills, but we courteously declined and simply made use of their very worn, very comfortable couches.

"You know, this would be more comfortable at your home!" I pushed again, running my fingers through Jacob Jr's dark locks as his head lay on my lap, completely asleep, and dead to the world, "we could actually put Jay-jay down?"

He sighed and shook his head, "nah, he's comfortable here"

I groaned, "Ja-ake!"

"Bella-a!" he whined back, in the same mocking tone.

"Is there something wrong with your place? Are you living in a cave or something?"

He groaned again. "Look, Bella, if I tell you something, that you can't tell anyone else, especially not Alice, or Rose or anyone... can I trust you?"

I looked at him, and then to Jay-jay, "Jake, you're not into something illegal are you? I mean, I can understand if you need money or what-not, but think about Jay, he needs you here, not in prison" I hissed in a hushed whisper, "I need you here"

Jake looked at me, too shocked for words for the moment, "uh, no, it's nothing like that. Well, I hope he's not illegal"

"Pardon? He?" I gasped.

My gasp had been louder than I assumed, and our conversation was drawing attention.

"Wanna just get out of here for a while?" he quickly asked.

I nodded gratefully. Jake quickly picked his son up from my lap. He was so cute there, curled up next to my bump, almost cuddling it.

I pushed myself up and stretched out a little. "Ungh"

Jake looked at me, smirking as I poked at my belly, "wake-y wake-y Nessie?" he asked with a laugh.

I glared at him, "I swear, this baby thinks my bloody bladder is her own personal pillow! One day, I will pee on you"

He laughed as I waddled my way to the bathroom to pee.

As I sat on the toilet, I heard the bathroom door open and close, and the taps being turned on before another woman entered the lone stall next to my own.

"It was Bella that was sitting next to the black dude, wasn't it!" a familiar voice cut in.

"I believe so. I still feel sorry for the poor girl; she and Edward were best friends, like brother and sister! I don't know what I'd do if I lost Mike like that, so many questions too"

Oh my god! And I only thought this happened in bad chick flicks and corny movies, apparently not. My gut ached; I didn't want to hear what else they had to say about me. Pulling my undies up, and my dress down, the annoying voice came again.

"I bet they were fuck buddies"

"WHAT? Lauren, you're way off! I remember Edward and Bella, and Edward was smitten by Rosalie, I mean who wouldn't, I'd fuck her if she'd offered. No, if they were ever going to get together, it would have been in high school, and I can guarantee you, that never happened"

The annoying one, Lauren, laughed, "don't see why she didn't, he was a hot piece of arse, I'd of ridden him if he was still alive"

The one in the toilet finally flushed hers and I decided to flush at the same time.

"You just about have 'ridden' everybody"

I unlocked the door, and slowly stepped out into the harsh fluorescent lights, heading towards the sinks.

Lauren almost gagged on the gum she was chewing with her mouth open, as I stood up against her and washed my hands.

"Bella?" The other girl asked.

Jess. That was her name, "Jess?"

She nodded, and gave a little chuckle, "we were just talking about you, but I guess you heard that, huh!"

I nodded, she seemed much nicer than when I knew her at school, we never really talked back then. "Nice rock" I commented, about the ring on her finger.

"Thanks, Mike and I got engaged!" she smiled with so much love in her eyes. "Nice bump, congrats!"

I rolled my eyes while still smiled, ignoring Lauren who proceeded to hack her guts up, coughing. "Thanks, not as shiny as that though!"

She shrugged, "give me kids any day, I can't..." the smile on her face faltered slightly, "well, shit happens"

I reached out, and took her in my arms, "I'm so sorry"

She shook her head, "no, its fine, Mike and I are already looking at adoption, and surrogates, and the rest of the necessary legal crap that comes with it!"

With her at arms length, we both smiled at each other, when I felt Ness coming back to life, "Here" I took her hand and pressed it gently against my skin, "wait for it..."

Jess's face lit up at the feeling of Ness kicking her palm.

"Oh my gosh" she looked elated, "that is amazing"

"I know, right, and she's finally got off my bladder!" I smiled, "I mean, I knew pregnant women had to pee a lot, but give me a break!"

We laughed together, it was nice and easy.

"Anyway, I gotta get back to my friend; it was nice to see you again!"

She nodded, "Yeah it was. I not as bitchy anymore, so, give me call, we'll have some coffee"

I nodded, "I'd like that"

I walked past Lauren, "Lauren" I said in acknowledgement, so she couldn't bitch I'd ignored her. She forced a smile, and gave a chopped wave.

I took the metal handle in my hand and started to pull.

"Bella?" Jess's voice asked, "I was really sorry to hear about Edward, it was a real shock to the system, I think it spurred Mike to propose sooner. I sent a card to Dr and Mrs Cullen, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, I know you two were the best of friends!"

I smiled at her, "Thankyou, I appreciate it"

I was still wiping my wet hands on the skirt of my dress when I caught up with Jake and Jay-jay, "What did you do in there, cure cancer or something?"

"Har har. No, I got bitched about, then had a lovely conversation with an old school friend" I took his hand, and watched as Jess walked out with her head held high, giving me another wave, while Lauren slunk behind her.

Jake just shook his head in amazement, adjusted Jay who still slept soundly on his chest, and tightened his grip on mine as we walked out the door.

"Now about this situation you have at home?"

Jake nodded, "well..." his face contorted and he thought, "ok, I can't sugar coat stuff for you Bell, I just can't. I have a man living in my house"

"A man?"

"Yes, a man. You know how my father is the reserves medicine man?" he looked at me, trying to figure how I was reacting.

"Yeah, he's also a doctor" I said, as if the medicine man part was more important.

"Yeah, true, but mainly to my people he's a medicine man. He uses more natural remedies that have been passed from generation to generation" he looked at me and frowned, "I'm getting off track..."

I had to laugh, "not hard to do, Jake"

He ignored the jibe, "any who, one day, a couple of months ago, he was collecting... stuff..." he looked exasperated already, "and came across a man"

"This dude, he was in a bad way, Billy carried him to the house. I thought he was a goner. I dumped Jay at Emily's house and rushed back to help Billy. I figured it was best to call the hospital, and get him there, but Billy, he was so sure that he was meant to help the poor guy" his brow furrowed and tucked his bottom lip into his mouth, "he said that he'd had a premonition that it was it was only his remedies that could cure the guy, and if we got him to the hospital, mistakes would happen, the guy would die. He said that the man's life was held in his hands"

Looking straight ahead, I tried to process the information, "did... did he survive?"

Jake shook his head, and my stomach dropped, "that man fought for weeks, we revived him countless times. It was exhausting to say the least, and by the third week, he was stable, and regained consciousness"

I smiled, tears prickling my eyes.

"And he's been getting gradually better since then. It's been a long process though, and he's scarred for life, but the worst thing is that he had no memory of what has happened"

We finally reached the car, and Jake buckled Jay into his car seat.

"So, what's the big deal? Is he violent or something?" I asked, buckling my own seat belt.

Jake shook his head, "No, nothing like that. When he got somewhat conscious, the only thing he could say was 'beh', Billy and I assumed he was trying to say his name, so we sat him down one day and explained to him what had happened, and did he know his name? He just broke down in tears, his speech was broken, he was frustrated all the time because he didn't know what anything was, so we asked him if we could call him 'Ben', because it was the name he'd been saying before. And he told us it still didn't feel right, but it would do"

"And that's why I can't come to your house, because you have a patient?" I asked, slightly frustrated.

"No, it's just... this guy, he has scars all over him, and he hasn't seen another human apart from Billy and I for months, I don't know what he'd do if he saw you!"

"Jake, that's bullshit" I burst.

He did a quick check to make sure Jay was still asleep and looked back at me with a frown on face, "what the hell Bella?"

"That's total bullshit! More faces is exactly what that guy need, he needs to start merging back into the world, not being hidden away in a tiny house on the edge of the forest"

Jake started the car and shook his head.

"Where are we going?" I asked after a minute and leaving the small reserve town.

"I'm taking you home Bella"

"No, damn it, that guy needs socialising!" I yelled, then stopped. We were out of town, and I was busting to pee.

"Bugger" I hissed, my lip stuck in my teeth, we were at least fifteen minutes from my home.

"Bella?" Jake finally asked, "is everything okay?"

I shook my head, "Jake... I need to pee"

He looked at me, "again?"

"Jake don't tempt me, how far are we from your house? Cause if you make me pee in the forest I will not be happy"

He looked conflicted, then looked at my desperate face, "you're not kidding?"

"Do I kid about peeing?" I growled.

"Okay, okay, can you last three minutes?"

I nodded, "just hurry up"

That three minutes were agony, I tortured myself by not being able to think of anything except that instant release you get when you finally are able to let go. I squirmed and wiggled, crossing and uncrossing my legs, and then Ness decides to pay with it too.

"Oh, hell" I moaned, poking her off it.

"we're here!" Jake said, stopping the car in front of the gate, "go, you know where it is. And if you see Ben, just keep going, please!"

I nodded, almost leaping from the car. What did he think I was stupid or something, I was going to stop for no body, until after my arse was on that toilet seat. I could have sworn my moan of elation could be heard for miles, after the slam of the bathroom door.

Washing my hands, and drying them properly this time, I wandered out and flopped on his old couch, smiling.

"Make yourself at home!" he jibed.

"I cannot believe you still have this old thing!" I laughed, banging the cushions on either side of me.

He laughed, and flopped next to me, "so many memories, I couldn't help but keep it"

"I want to say sorry" I said quietly, "you know what you're doing regarding Ben, I shouldn't have got so riled up"

He placed a finger on my lips, "shush, I don't care"

He started to lean in closer to me, "I want to try something, but you have to stay very still"

I small smile played at my lips, "okay" This was it, the big shebang!

It felt like minutes passed, until his lips gently touched mine. Slowly the kiss became more, his tongue sweeping over my bottom lip caused me to open my mouth, and his tongue then entered there. I curled my fingers in his hair, trying to make it so much more than it was. After a few seconds, we both broke apart.

I looked in his face, he was torn.

"Well..." he started,

"That was awkward!" I finished, laughing at the situation.

"And so wrong!" he laughed with me.

"Oh Jake" I laughed, falling on him, "can we still be friends?"

His laugh rumbled through my body, "of course" and then we simply laid there, me, on top of him, in his arms.