Suicide Doors

Chapter Two

By: Jondy Macmillan

A/N: Still here? Not scared away? I have mad alerts, but no reviews; I figure that's all still a compliment. Right? No? Okay. I fail at being heterosexual in stories, so I apologize for the stunted scenes with Nick and Penny. And Kevin and Macy. And Joe and Stella. I can't wait to get to the good joick parts...Le sigh.

"Dude, she's gorgeous. Just go ask her out already," Joe pushed Nick towards the girl by the water fountain.

"Joe," Nick protested, his voice razor sharp, but his brother was already urging him down the hall. If he hadn't known any better, Nick might have thought Joe was trying to get rid of him. He cast a suspicious glare towards his big brother, who was doing his best to appear innocent in his plaid uniform, before setting eyes on the prize.

Water glistening on her lips when she pulled back from the fountain, the girl didn't even notice Nick approaching.

The newest rumor around school was that she'd broken up with her boyfriend. Normally, girls breaking up with grade A douches didn't register on Joe's radar, but this was different.

This was Penny.

Since he'd first heard it from Stella that morning, Joe angled for Nick to go find out whether or not the gossip was true. It had been an impossible task; Nick was in the mood to dig in his heels and act as shy as humanly possible. Joe used every trick in the book to get him to finally approach the girl, and even now Nick was staggering towards her like a skittish colt. There was every possibility that he would bolt.

Joe crossed his fingers and hoped for his own sake that the kid could pull it together. Otherwise he was flat out of plans.

As far as plans went though, Joe was reasonably certain this one had to work.

Okay, so Nick hadn't gone for all the other girls he'd paraded in front of him, but hello- Penny. Nick had composed a song for her. That had to count for something, right? Right?

Right.

He watched Nick with a keen eye as the younger boy tapped Penny on the shoulder. She spun around, surprised, her mouth forming an 'o'. Joe couldn't hear what Nick said then, but it must have been funny, because Penny smiled and laughed a little. She was a nice girl. She had white thighs under that skirt of hers and pink sugar lips. No denying she was pretty. And Nick had fallen hard for her once before. It could happen again.

Then; freedom.

Joe was already daydreaming about the first bar on west fourth he'd hit; some place he'd heard college kids liked to go that wasn't nearly a-list enough to get him recognized. He had to test out this partying like a rockstar thing before he could move on to the big leagues, after all.

It kind of made him feel like a shallow jerk.

To tell the truth, manipulating Nick made him squeamish. But it wasn't like he hadn't done everything else he could. There were only so many different ways to tell a guy to back off before desperate measures had to be taken. So really, Nick had brought this on himself.

"What're you doing?" a familiar voice asked, causing Joe to jump half a mile in the air. Or only a foot, but it felt like a mile, damnit. Kevin, the sneaky bastard, sidled up beside him with an easy smile.

Kevin always had easy smiles; came from having an IQ of two.

So maybe it was higher than that. Joe was resentful because Kevin had stolen his breakfast burrito this morning and- wait.

"What are you doing is more like it!" Joe hissed, raking a hand through his thick, dark hair, all thoughts of Nick forgotten. He tried to block Kevin's body with his own, so that nobody at the school would notice his older brother who had already graduated loitering in the hallway.

There had to be rules against that.

"You forgot your lunch," Kevin shrugged, holding up a brown paper bag that looked suspiciously light. He caught Joe eyeing it and admitted, "I might have eaten it on the way here."

"You're going to get us in trouble! Do you have a visitor's pass?"

"Do I need one? I went to school here," Kevin pressed his lips together and scratched behind his ear, a nervous tic that screamed 'I did something wrong?'

"Went being the operative word, dude."

"I'm one third of JONAS. That has to count for something."

"Didn't mom give you the lecture on using fame to get your way?"

Kevin blinked, "I thought she meant not to get free tacos from the cute girl in that restaurant on Main Street."

"That too," Joe sighed, fighting the tension flooding his body, "Are you really that bored sitting at home?"

"You have no idea," Kevin's eyes bugged out, chocolate brown and wild, "I'm going insane!"

"Why don't you do something then? Go out. Go to a party! I know there's something bangin' going down in the city tonight."

His older brother frowned, "Dude. No. Mom would not approve. Do you even know what those kind of parties are like?"

He couldn't stop the insolent words from tumbling out of his mouth, "Yeah, awesome."

"Joe," Kevin warned, eyes narrowing, "I'm serious. I didn't know you were thinking about going to one of those."

Joe realized he'd made a misstep. Kevin was usually too distracted by his romantic life to even take notice of Joe's desires, and the last thing he needed was another brother on his tail like some kind of goofy bloodhound. Carefully he lied, "I'm not. I was just saying you should try it out."

"Not my scene lil' bro," Kevin replied airily, visibly relaxing, "Bad things go down in places like that. Drinking, and the girls…I like my girls a little more…"

Joe was thinking 'high school', and he knew he was right when Kevin's eyes landed on a perky brunette up the hall. The smile that lit his face might as well have lit up the whole school for how bright it was.

Only one person made Kevin beam like that, but it was obvious Kevin was trying to play it cool. He said in a casual voice, "Hey look, it's Macy."

Joe had to suppress a grin. Yeah, Kevin was fooling no one.

"You're right. Why don't you go say hi, Kev?"

His older brother's eyes narrowed again, suspicious, "I thought I was going to get you in trouble 'cause I don't have a pass."

Quick on his toes, Joe yelled, "Oh my god! Macy's got a bunny!"

Kevin's head snapped in the other direction, his feet already carrying him towards the girl in search of something small and cute and fluffy.

Leave it to his older brother's fascination with adorable animals to save Joe from an awkward conversation.

Anyway, from this distance it looked like Joe had done his brother a favor. Macy was delighted to see Kevin. She'd thrown her arms around his neck and was emitting high pitched shrieks that sounded like a constant stream of 'JONASJONASJONAS'.

All in a day's work.

Joe smirked and turned back to the problem at hand, but Nick and Penny were nowhere to be seen. He glanced left, right, and even behind him, checking to see where his little brother had gotten off to. When he still couldn't find him, he took it as a good sign. Maybe Nick and Penny had decided to go somewhere more private. Maybe they were making out in a closet right now, and all Joe's problems were solved.

Hey, it was feasible.

Joe sat through the rest of the day's classes on the edge of his seat, waiting for news. He'd never been so invested in his brother's love life before, but his brother's love life had never so directly affected his future. Joe was convinced that if Nick didn't end up dating Penny, there was a major possibility that he'd be following Joe everywhere he went until they ended up in an old folks' home together. Joe was all for family bonding, but it was just getting to be Too Much.

Nick was nowhere to be found in the halls after school that day. It left Joe almost feeling melancholy; he didn't know how to cope without the presence of his always-there brother.

Still, that was the goal, right?

Shaken from his usual routine of being carefully guarded, Joe hit Stella up for a pizza date. They went to her house and watched movies and ate pepperoni and cheese until their stomachs felt close to bursting. Stella was familiar; smiles and laughs and the comfort of a best friend. Sometimes Joe wondered what it would be like to kiss her, but those thoughts were fleeting and left him an icky residue that settled inside his chest, like he was thinking illicit thoughts about a relative.

He told Stella about setting Nick up. She pursed her lips and asked, "Won't you get lonely now? You and Nick spent like, the whole summer together."

She crossed her arms and tilted her head and gave him this half-mean glare, because he had in fact spent practically the whole summer with Nick instead of her. They'd had hose fights on the brilliant green grass and escaped towards the shore for parasailing and speed racing on wave runners. Sometimes Kevin had been there, but more often than not he was commiserating with his graduate friends in a last hurrah before they all abandoned him for college.

The boys laid on the beach among the visiting New Yorkers, Pennsylvanians, and Floridians; the locals called people like that Bennys, and hated them. They'd even made signs that Joe and Nick had glimpsed on a turnpike overpass. Bennys go home, it screamed with an exclamation point. Joe didn't mind all the visitors; they made him and his brother invisible. Sometimes they'd walk up to the ocean-side stands and buy hot dogs and nachos and cheese fries, and Joe would bury Nick in the sand and feed him fries because his hands were pinned down.

Once or twice they even slipped off to a concert at PNC Bank Arts Center. Hats and sunglasses and jackets disguised them from the crowd, and anyway, the kind of concerts they'd gone to didn't have the same fan bases as JONAS. The anonymity in the music world bugged Joe sometimes, but he could tell Nick loved it. The twist of his lips when he swayed to melodies so unlike their own almost resembled a smile.

"Jealous?" Joe countered, thinking of endless blue skies and the smell of suntan lotion; of his summer with his little brother before he wanted freedom and parties and things Nick would never want.

"As if," Stella squealed, picking up another piece of pizza and staring at it like some sort of interesting science experiment. Joe could almost see the thought bubble above her head like a cartoon; if I put this in my mouth, will I still be able to fit into so-and-so's fall collection skinny jeans?

"Anyway, Nick needs to get a life that doesn't involve following me around all the time," Joe said, picking up the conversation because Stella's mouth was now full.

She swallowed and blinked, "He's your little brother, Joe. He idolizes you. You should enjoy it; it's not going to last forever."

"I'm not disowning him, Stella. I'm just…encouraging him to live a little."

"So once Nick is otherwise occupied, what are you going to do?"

Act like a real rockstar, Joe wanted to say. Instead he shrugged and replied, "Have a little 'me' time."

Stella didn't buy that, but she was too busy watching the rest of the movie to argue.

When Joe got home around nine, Nick was in the kitchen making instant ramen. Their dad, Frankie, and Kevin were working on merchandising for the band, and their mom was on a business meeting out of town. It was one of those slow nights where everyone had to fend for themselves with food. Nick had opted for the least healthy option, but if college kids could live off the stuff, why couldn't he?

"How'd things go with Penny?"

Nick set his Styrofoam cup full of noodles on the counter, careful not to spill any hot water. His eyes, dark and piercing, flickered up and he said, "We're going to go out. Friday."

"Dude, that's awesome!" Joe resisted his urge to pump a fist in the air and instead punched Nick lightly in the arm, "You must be ecstatic."

"Oh, I am. Can't you tell?" Nick deadpanned with a straight face.

Joe grinned, used to his brother's sense of humor, "Right. Your happiness is overwhelming."

"Penny's great," Nick bit his lip, nervously shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, "I still don't get why you were so eager for me to talk to her."

"What can I say? I'm an excellent big brother. Excellent," Joe emphasized the word, "I mean, I knew you wanted another shot at the girl. You wrote her that song; hmm, how'd it go again?"

Nick's glare was lethal, "Gee, I don't know. You sang it to Stella last year for your stupid friend-a-versary. How do you think it went?"

Joe was surprised at how vehement the statement was, "Whoa there. It was a joke, Nick. No need to jump down my throat."

"I wasn't. I mean…er- sorry," his little brother sighed and removed his hands from his pockets, cradling the cup of noodles to his chest, "Tense week, I guess."

"You okay?" Joe asked, concerned. Even if he wanted him to back the hell off, Nick was still his baby brother.

Nick's eyes darkened with something Joe didn't recognize. Then he shook his head and said, "Yeah, fine. I was going to go watch TV. Wanna come?"

"Nah. Stella and I just finished a movie. I got to get a move on some homework."

That didn't go over well.

"Joe, you don't do homework."

"Hey! I do too."

"Not until the morning it's due."

"Point taken. I'm trying to finish senior year with a bang, okay?" Joe lied through his teeth. In truth, he wanted to check out party pics on his laptop, sent by a movie star friend, and dream about the day he could actually show up at one of them.

It was a more interesting way to pass the time than physics.

Nick's stare was long and hard, but finally he replied in a quiet voice, "Okay."

Joe prayed that Nick's date with Penny would be successful. He didn't know how much longer he could keep lying.

"Okay," he echoed, feeling hollow inside.

He hated deceit, and he hated the way Nick's lips twisted as he left the kitchen. It was almost like- no, it was- a frown.

A/N: This chapter killed me. Killed me, man. I hate setting up stories, but to get to the fun joick, I have to do the awkward beginning, and it's definitely awkward. You know what would inspire me? Reviews. So do it. C'mon. I know you want to. Pretty please?