Hi...It's just me editing the chapter. Anyways I just thought I should add this note, seeing as I haven't before. If you have read this story before you might have noticed that I've changed Kohana Maeda's name to Kaidia Dos Santos. A friend suggested to me that she could then go by the nickname Kadi. Just so you know. Please submit a review and tell me if I missed any of the changes.
It was 0630 hundred when Kaidia awoke to a gentle tapping on her bedroom door. Ronna stood there, dressed and looking alert, by some odd turn of fate. By some miracle that Kaidia had thought that only Hyne would be able to produce, Kayden had somehow managed to wake the entire group before it was absolutely necessary that they be up and had gotten them to come with him down to her and Ronna's dorm room. Not that with what happened yesterday that had been too hard, she gathered as she cleaned herself up, showering while Ronna cared for Bast and took him out for his morning run. All Kayden really had to do was say something bad had happened to him, Ryu and herself and all would have been pounding on her door last night.
She was thankful for the reprieve though. When she had arrived at her dorm, she had not been in the mood to see anyone nor to be in the presence of anyone other than her friend Bast. She had been exhausted and had probably fallen asleep just after she lay down from returning from her debriefing. Not that she had slept the entire night either. She had awoken, at some point in the long march of night, shivering and trembling due to the most recent horrible experience she had undergone in her exam. The dying images of the Cadet that had, at that time yesterday, been alive and maybe sleeping in preparation for the exam, haunting her as she jerked awake. She had half expected to be back in that icy cave, watching as he died once more. Bast had stirred up with her and had spent the better part of two hours comforting her and crooning her back to an uncertain sleep once more, with her tears drying on his soft fur. He had licked her face, with his warm and gentle tongue, licking away the tears. As if he were trying to kiss away all her hurts, like he had done when she had been a little girl. Hurts inflicted upon her by her mother and father.
They had called her unworthy of being their daughter, and that she shouldn't have been born. In her memory, she had said something to that, but her mind did not remember what that sentence had been. All she knew was whatever she said had resulted in another beating. She could not remember anything else, other than the abuse. Her memories of them were strained and half confused with time, as if viewed like an old movie. If her parents could be so cruel to their own child, then it was all too apparent to the girl that people could exist in this world that would be that cruel to a complete stranger; cruel enough to break a family apart with their actions.
Kaidia wasn't sure what was going to happen to her, once everything was decided, but she stood by her decision, and nothing in the world would make her change her mind over what had occurred. If placed in that situation again, she would make the same hard choice, if there were no other option open to her. She could only hope that Garden would find an antidote or a vaccine to use against it. She found herself hoping that Suzu's death was not in vain.
It was a funny feeling; thinking of someone that had been her age as being dead. Dead; gone; no more; left behind… nearly forgotten. As long as she and her team remembered what had happened, then Suzu's memory would live on, even if he did not. He had been lost in that cave, as the cruel hand of another deliberately poisoned him.
As she brushed her damp hair, Kaidia was struck with a feeling that she had lost something in that dark place, something she would never have again.
She changed, as she heard the excited quiet barks of Bast, greeting all the people that had gathered in the common room nearby. He was probably enjoying all the extra attention he was receiving. She smiled slightly, fixing the mask once more and slipped out of her room and to her four friends and boyfriend sitting waiting for her. They all smiled at her, and some waved hello. Breana Kinneas bounced over to her, holding a coffee and hugged her swiftly, Kaidia felt the urge to pull away but fought it for the promised coffee, as well as the fact that they were all friends and the bonds between them all ran deeper than even she could describe. They had come to cheer her, Kayden and Ryu up when they needed it the most.
She had not known them her whole life, but as she accepted them, so they accepted her and the bonds' between them formed fast. Breana released her, and gave her the coffee.
Without waiting, in threat of another hug, Kaidia slipped around the group and went to the only available free chair. Unfortunately for Kayden, he was already sitting on it, and without giving him a chance, she slipped on his lap and rested with her back to his chest. He encircled her waist with his arms and nuzzled the back of her neck, kissing gently several sensitive spots he found. Kaidia shivered at every expertly placed kiss; how he knew her so well as to gently tease her and withhold more when she pressed. She was going to get him for this at some point, but right now she was a little to comfortable to move.
"Can I get a sip of that…" he questioned, leaning his head on her shoulder.
"No." This was a little game of theirs; fighting over coffee.
"But I asked nicely." He protested.
Everyone within distance rolled their eyes at the familiar routine. It usually ended with Kaidia being so charmed by her handsome 'Knight' that she gave in. Or maybe she gave in so he would stop whining about it.
"Please." He begged.
"Haven't you had any today?" A second later she realized what she had just said as Toby and Breana burst out laughing, followed by the just cluing in Ryu and Ronna.
"Are you offering?" Kayden asked archly, a grin marring his features.
She frowned at her giggling friends. She really hated it when people laughed at her, but could admit that the context had been pretty bad. "You're all gutter minded…"
"So are you!" Toby argued.
"Wouldn't talk." Breana agreed with her little brother, although there really was only a year between them.
"Yeah. Because of you two." Kaidia shot back.
"And you'll thank us later." Toby promised.
"When?" The conversation continued.
"Later. And besides, you like it in the gutter and you know it." Bre answered.
"You fell in very quickly. It was easy to pull you down." Toby added.
"Like I had a chance against all five of you!" Kaidia muttered
"No…Not really." Toby stated.
"Not one hope." Breana continued. "And then you made yourself nice and comfy beside Kayden."
Both coloured at the context of that statement.
"Just a sip…" Kayden spoke up once more, interrupting the first conversation.
"If I say yes, will you stop whining?" she asked.
"Oh…well if it's that easy to get you to say yes then I shoulda done it years ago…What else will you say yes too?"
"Oh, bite me."
"With pleasure."
Kaidia eyes narrowed dangerously at her smirking boyfriend and at her once more laughing friends. This whole argument had been going wrong for her from the get go, and before it got any worse for her, she gave him the coffee.
He took a sip and then handed it back. "Now, was that so hard?" he asked triumphantly.
She glared at him darkly, refusing to answer and, before he could start up another round of gutter minded verbal sparring, she quickly finished the warm drink, ignoring the slight burning on her tongue.
"Hot enough for you?" Kayden asked curiously.
Kaidia bit her lip to avoid being pulled into the comment that had immediately danced to the forefront of her mind.
"We have to get that asshole fired." Kayden spoke suddenly.
"Verauan?" She asked, immediately following her boyfriend's thoughts.
"Who else? He's behind everything!" Kayden announced.
"We've tried." Kaidia argued. "Several times. Verauan just suppressed Martine's attempt to change that word you love so much."
"'Be' is such a confusing word…" Kayden muttered. "It's not my fault that I have trouble understanding it."
"It's not your fault…" Ronna muttered in disbelief. "Yeah right."
"And it's not your fault that I seem to have trouble understanding it either?" Kaidia challenged.
"No… I have you on the technicality." Kayden answered. "You can't figure out a way around it, and you know why we're actually sneaking out of Garden."
"Yeah, but if we're never caught, it can't be taken above our own Garden." Kaidia argued.
"I'm still gonna try." Kayden promised. "If it wasn't for that jerk, then Suzu would still be alive…"
She looked down, finding it difficult to answer.
There was a pause for several minutes, as the large group sat in friendly silence. Each was content to let their thoughts wander. The sun had just struck the window on its winding path through the sky and sent warn shimmers down throughout the room and over her friends. Her hair was hit by the sun, and its gentler and warmer reds and faint gold tones shone through, lightening the dark mop that sat on her shoulders.
"I've always loved your highlights…" Ronna muttered staring enviously at her. "You must have a light haired parent in your family."
Kaidia blinked at the sudden change in the conversation but was grateful it had occurred.
"What is it about girls and their hair?" Kayden muttered under his breath.
Kaidia had to duck as one of the other girls threw a pillow at Kayden. She sighed in exasperation. The topic usually did not come up much, as she had made it clear that it was not something she wished to divulge to them. To her surprise, they respected her wishes and usually avoided the topic of parents all together. Kayden tightened his grip on her, giving his silent support.
Of all of her friends, Kayden was the only one that knew her background with her parents, and he only knew the basics. For as long as she was alive, there would be no one that would know the exact situation she had gone through. It would not haunt anyone else the way it did her memories; she refused to allow it to do so, and, with her efforts, no one would ever know that her entering at Trabia Garden at the tender age of ten was because Child Services had removed her from her parents and placed her there. When she was old enough, she had the records suppressed; using the law to her advantage to hide her past from everyone else.
"Both my parents have light hair; as blonde as Kayden." She answered, surprising herself with her answer.
"That's very unlikely." Kayden stated. "You couldn't be a brunette with two blondes as parents. You'd be blonde too, or would at least have light hair. I'm a good example of that."
Kaidia blinked. That had been something she had barely considered in her musings about her parents. It was indeed unlikely that she could have as dark a tone in her hair as she did with two parents as blonde as they were. Either one or both dyed their hair or a brunette gene in the family was the cause for her darker toned hair or… or she was adopted.
"I'm pretty sure I'm adopted." She answered finally, deciding that she liked that option better then the original two. 'But if they did dye their hair away from my colour… why though? Are they hiding from something?'
"Why not ask them?" Bre asked.
"We… don't get along. Can we talk about something else?"
"Still, I would kill for hair like yours." Bre continued.
"Something other than hair." Ryu pleaded.
"It's just hair." Kaidia pointed out.
"What happened?" Ronna asked finally, all light dying from the talk.
Kaidia closed her eyes. She had not been placed under orders not to express the incident to her friends and as she understood the grapevine and the rumor mills at Garden, everyone awake had probably been made aware of some aspects of yesterday's events. 'These are my friends… they deserve the truth…'
"Our Squad leader died." She announced calmly. "My actions directly contributed to his death… but I didn't kill him."
"What?" Ronna asked.
"He… was infected with this substance. It…" she broke off, shuddering internally at the memories.
"It ate him alive…" Kayden added for her. "Kadi cast sleep on him… to keep him from suffering."
"And that contributed to his death how?" Bre asked.
"It could be seen as manslaughter." Kayden answered.
"Sounds more like compassion to me." Ronna stated.
"It depends on how Garden and the law interpret it." Kaidia answered. "It can be viewed as both merciful and manslaughter."
"Well… Garden hasn't let us down before. They'll make the right decision." Ronna defended their home.
"The right decision may not be the one we think is right." She answered.
"I think you did the right thing." Ryu spoke up.
"I do too." Kayden agreed. "And with the both of us speaking for you, even if things go bad, that's still a lot."
"No courts will take the word of eye witnesses that I have a personal and a friendship based relationship with."
"The tapes will back you too and whatever evidence we get from the sample." Kayden argued back.
"What sample?" Bre questioned.
"I took a sample of infected blood from Suzu's body and our squad brought it out with us to Garden."
"How do you bring something that dangerous out?" Ronna asked curiously.
"Very carefully." Ryu answered. "I should know, I carried it."
He now sounded proud of what he had done. Kaidia could admit he had something to be proud of. Without his co-operation, there would have been little chance that she or Kay could have succeeded in bringing a viable sample out of the caverns.
"You carried it!" Ronna exclaimed staring at her twin brother in shock "It coulda killed you!"
"I know… but Kadi said it was safe and I trust her. Also, if we didn't, it would've made Suzu's death in vain."
"…Oh…" Ronna spoke again, as if unsure of what to say on the matter. "Well, I agree with Ryu and Kayden." She continued finally. "No matter what happens."
"Thanks." Kaidia said.
"What are roommates for?" Ronna questioned.
"To tease for personal enjoyment, as well as to blame when things backfire?" Kaidia answered with a sweet tone of complete clueless innocence.
"You've definitely spent WAY too much time with me…" Breana concluded finally. "I've actually rubbed off on you; the apocalypse must be upon us."
"Funny." Kaidia answered in a tone that made it quite clear that she was not amused. "With the amount of time I spend with you guys I'm surprised I haven't picked up any more of your traits."
"Well you definitely have adopted a lot of Kayden's traits." Ryu said.
"You say that like it's a bad thing." Kayden announced.
"Well… one of you is enough." Breana concluded, smirking at the boy behind her. "Any more and the world would be screwed."
"Yeah… he's definitely unique, and no one should be allowed to be exactly like him." Toby continued.
"That would be wrong." Ryu spoke. "Very wrong."
"And besides, Aurora was to much like you as is. You used to drag her into a whole lot of trouble." Ronna spoke.
"But she was so good at getting out of it." Kayden defended.
Kaidia perked up upon hearing that name. She had been sitting there, half ignoring the conversation around her, and this was a name from their history that she had not heard before. It was their past that they were discussing, a past she did not share. 'But I can't be the one that ends their fun.' She thought.
"Yeah… she had the Commander wrapped." Kayden continued.
"Who's Aurora?" Kaidia broke in. Not knowing something always did get on her nerves.
There was something about that name. When she first heard it, it sent a shiver down her spine. There was just something so familiar about it.
"She was Commander Leonhart's daughter." Ryu answered when none did. "She died when she was seven."
"…Oh… I'm sorry." She answered slowly, unsure of what to say. 'Why does that bother me?'
"Don't be." Kayden answered. "You didn't know. Just don't mention her to Leonhart… ever. If you value your existence."
"Why?" Kaidia worried aloud.
"He… had a lot of trouble dealing with what happened." Kayden answered.
"What happened?"
"She drowned, on a beach in Balamb. The Commander still blames himself." Ronna answered.
"My mom says that he always blames himself if something goes wrong, even if it isn't his fault. There was nothing he could do. One moment she was there, and the second she disappeared into the ocean. Let's talk about something else now." Breana advised. "Aurora was our friend and it's kinda upsetting to talk about her."
"I'm sorry." Kaidia answered, regretting that she had asked in the first place. 'They talk about her in the past tense… of course… she is dead.'
"It's okay." Ronna said.
"I have a little more news." Ryu started suddenly.
When he had everyone's attention, he continued. "I ran into Instructor Bane in the halls before I came here. He told me that it's alright if we discuss the incident among ourselves as long as it's with people we trust. And, apparently, Galbadia Garden AND Trabia Garden officials couldn't come to a decision, so late last night they all decided to bring it up to Balamb Garden! Meaning Mom and Dad are going to flip when they hear this."
"Not just your parents." Kayden started. "Mine too."
"And let's not forget about Commander Squally… I mean Commander Leonhart!" Bre started. "Mom's habits really do rub off!"
"Don't let him hear you call him that." Toby advised. "He argues with Mom enough about that… and plus he's kinda scary; even when he's trying to be nice."
"He can be nice!" Kayden exclaimed in shock. "To whom?"
"To people he likes." Toby answered.
"Well… he doesn't seem so nice to me." Kayden insisted.
"Well, I guess we know where you stand with him." Breana laughed.
"Figures… you are Seifer's son." Ronna continued.
"Yeah. Betcha his first thought when he hears about this report is that it's somehow my fault." Kayden answered.
"There's nothing worth betting there." Ryu continued. 'You'd win hands down."
"He gives me such a bad rep." Kayden complained.
"No… that was you." Ryu corrected. "He gave you the benefit of the doubt and you disabused him of that notion."
"I did not!" Kayden argued.
"What about the cafeteria incident, the balloon incident, the fire cavern incident…" Ryu trailed off taking a deep breath. "The hallway incident, the…"
"Are you going to name off all my pranks in Balamb Garden?"
"No… that would take all day…" Ryu explained before looking thoughtful. "And all night… and all of the next day too."
"Ha Ha." Kayden muttered. "I wasn't that bad."
"You were." Ronna said.
"You guys really know him that well?" Kaidia asked, feeling left out.
"Who?" Breana answered looking confused.
"Commander Leonhart."
"I guess so." Bre answeredS
"So he's like a celebrity." She hedged.
"I guess so. I never thought of him as such… but I guess he is." Ronna agreed.
"But you know him?" Kaidia asked once more.
She always felt left out when they talked about Balamb and their relationships with their nice parents. She knew it wasn't done deliberately though so she really didn't take offense. But still, listening to their stories always awoke a longing inside of her, a deep wish that she held for as long as she could remember, and a question that couldn't be answered. Kaidia always longed for nice parents...and wondered why she was treated the way she was.
She had gone through enough therapy to know that it wasn't her fault; her first Garden had ensured that. But still she wondered. 'What if I am adopted? Where are my real parents? Where am I supposed to be?'
"Yep, yep." Bre perked up. "He's close friends with our parents after all. I think the closest I ever came to offending him was when I called him Unkie Squally in public when I was three."
Toby immediately burst out laughing. "I remember hearing about that. Mom said it took her weeks to teach you how to say that. She was so little that she got away with it."
"And he still carries a grudge?" Kaidia deadpanned.
"I don't think so… more like he'll never forget it." Breana corrected immediately. "Besides, all he really did was blame my mom."
Toby laughed at the memory. "She was laughing so hard she fell down…"
"And so was my dad, until Bre called him Unkie Sefie." Kayden chuckled. "Dad still gets embarrassed when Mom reminds him of it."
"Is… he as bad as his reputation makes him out to be?" Kaidia continued with her line of questions.
"Nah…" Kayden said. "Not once you get to know him. He can be intimidating though, especially if you've broken a rule."
"Which he knows from personal experience." Ronna answered. "Thanks to you, the Balamb SeeD manual is air tight. Good luck finding a technicality around those rules."
"Well… as far as I know… the 'Be' problem still exists." Kay said at leisure.
"Better hope he doesn't find out about your nightly romps outside Garden." Toby teased.
"It's not nightly. Usually only four nights a week. Anymore than that and Kay couldn't keep up." Kaidia spoke, directing the comment to the Gutter minded people in the room… in this case, all of them.
Bre squealed loudly as Kayden blushed deeply at the comment.
"So what would he say about the actual absconding from Garden?" She asked.
"He'd be annoyed that someone found a way around his 'rules.' But I don't think anyone's ever seen him pissed…or even mad for that matter." Kayden answered for the rest.
"Yeah…when he's somewhere near angry, he goes really calm and quiet." Ryu said. "And when he's like that… it's usually a wise idea to run and hide. But he has the longest fuse I've ever seen. No matter what Kayden did in Garden, he only raised his voice slightly to him once."
"And once was all I needed." Kayden answered.
"If he goes calm and quiet… how do you know he's mad?" Kaidia asked. "Isn't he calm and quiet normally?"
"The temperature drops 20 degrees or so." Kayden supplied. "But it's only a rumor… he has a way of making it quite obvious if he's pissed… or so I've been told."
"I don't think that Seifer has ever seen him mad. And he's been trying to piss the Commander off for years." Ryu continued.
"I don't know. I think my dad came close every time he left his Hyperion in odd places for him to fix the trigger. I heard he got real mad when he woke up from a nap and it was lying next to him on the bed with a sign that said 'Fix Me' with an arrow pointing at the trigger." Kay smirked at the memory.
"Yes… but he did fix it…" Bre answered.
"Yeah, after he chased my dad around Garden with his own Gunblade for three hours!" Kayden said in outrage.
"As I heard, he woke up with the sharp side a centimeter away from his face." Toby answered. "The Commander was yelling something about Seifer trying to give him another scar."
"Another scar?" Kaidia asked.
"He has this real deep scar between his eyes, from my dad's gunblade. They were near our age when it happened. But Squall did get my dad back; he's got one that runs in the opposite direction."
"So… when you get to know him… he's fine?"
They all stared at her before they broke into laughter. Kaidia stared at them, wondering what she had just said now to set them off now. 'Did I just miss a joke!'
"Relax…" Kayden spoke finally, gasping for air. "Squall has this pet phrase… well two actually, my Mom calls them Squallisms. One's 'Whatever,' when he can't figure out what to say. And the seconds' 'I'm fine,' even when he's not. He could have a bullet in his chest and he'd say he's fine if you asked him how he was."
"…Oh…ooo-kay?" Kaidia muttered, still missing the humor of the situation.
"You just kinda sounded like him… it was a weird moment."
"Why all the questions all of the sudden? Kayden asked
"Well… if this incident does go up to Balamb Garden, there might be a chance I'll have to talk to him…" she sighed. "I think…he's the first person I'm actually afraid to meet."
"He's not going to bite your head off."
"But…he sounds…"
"His bark is worse than his bite?" Kayden offered.
"…What?"
"Well… he's cold and only opens up to certain people. But I don't think he would intentionally try to scare you. He really is a nice man." Ronna proclaimed.
"If you say so…" Kaidia wasn't so sure, but she kept those reservations to herself.
"You know, if you do end up talking to Commander Leonhart, it would be a perfect opportunity to talk to him about Verauan." Kayden spoke.
"Me! Why me!" Kaidia sputtered. "I don't want to talk to him as is and you want to bring that up too? You really are trying to make me out as a problem child!"
"You don't need my help with that." Kayden announced.
"I was an obedient and orderly Cadet before I met you." She argued.
"And probably extremely bored."
"Whether I was bored or not is not important. I didn't break any rules. And if I told Commander Leonhart that I would almost have to tell him the entire history behind our absconding from Garden. But with what happened…" She broke off.
"Just bring up his favouritism." Kayden waved off before taking an expression of utter seriousness. "We have to do this. It's gone too far, and everyone's lost too much. We all could have been killed, and not just with that thing… it was too much and it's his fault."
"I know, but how am I supposed to prove it?"
Kayden sighed and then went quiet.
"I'll try if I have the chance. But not in the first debriefing… that will be hard enough."
In the company of her friends, the first difficult day after the painful experience that she, Kayden and Ryu had undergone just yesterday, began to steadily move on. Friends were good at doing that; making a horrible situation tolerable and as the day ticked on and her friends talked in the small apartment or played cards or other games that had randomly shown up during her stay at Garden, it felt as if it would be okay. And maybe there would be a way through the whole ordeal.