Suicide Doors

Chapter Eight

By: Jondy Macmillan

A/N: Okay, prompt. I physically need someone to write a rp commentfic where Nick and Joe have a discussion about the whole Miley 'you're gay' slip during her performance of 7 Things I Hate About You. Because really, that just calls for some type of 'how did she know?' discussion, and I don't write rpf. Go on. Do it. You know you want to…And then note me so I can read it! Thank you all for the amazing reviews I've received up until now- you guys keep me writing when I think I don't have any words left in me.

"He had alcohol on his breath, Kevin."

The first thing Joe heard the next morning was Nick's voice, murmuring softly to Kevin as they got ready for school. Normally, Joe hated the fact that his brothers were early risers. They'd chatter on and on, endlessly about things Joe cared much less for than sleep; tugging him from the edge of fluffy, comfortable dreams. It was, in a word, obnoxious.

The opportunity for eavesdropping happened to be its one useful quality, however, and he was going to milk it for all it was worth. He nestled into his pillow and tuned in.

"I know," Kevin snapped back. Apparently Joe coming home drunk didn't make him feel all warm and fuzzy like Joe might have hoped. It was rare that his big brother got into

Nick groaned, and Joe could imagine in his head exactly what kind of face his baby brother was making at that second, "I just wanted to know what to do about the pictures, Kev. I didn't think this was going to be some- thing of his."

"Dude, this isn't a thing. Baseball's a thing. Getting addicted to video games is a thing," Kevin's general vicinity rustled, and Joe knew he was shaking his head disparagingly and waving his arms in that frantic way he did when he was frustrated, "This is a problem."

"A fucking big one," Nick agreed.

Joe kind of hated that his brothers were talking about him like he was some kind of screw up. Then again, he'd known it would happen going in; they'd never cared about all the perks of being rockstars. They just wanted to make music.

Pssh. Music.

Okay, maybe that was a little harsh. Joe loved music. He loved that even though he'd never been as talented as his two brothers, they'd still given him the opportunity to be a frontman; to sing when maybe his voice wasn't the best of the three. They'd given him the fame he craved, just because they were good brothers.

It was enough to make guilt weigh heavy on Joe's heart.

Then Nick said, "Should we have like, an intervention, or something?"

"He's not an alcoholic, Nick. It's not like he's bringing a flask to school or anything. I think. He's…I don't know, going out, having fun," Kevin sighed, loudly, "He's just not being responsible about it. At all."

"It's Joe. He's the least responsible person I know," Nick shot back, "That's what I'm worried about."

Gee, Joe thought, thanks for the support, little brother.

At least Kevin had his back. Kind of.

"He had to have driven home drunk, smelling like that. God, what if he'd gotten a DUI?" Kevin muttered, "Between that and the tabloid pictures, our career would be ruined."

Well. So much for having Joe's back.

"Do you want to talk to him, or should I?" Nick asked, and by the tone of his voice Joe could tell that he wanted their big brother to take charge. Kevin was a total flake, but he was the best at handling the whole stern-talking-to angle.

It came with the territory of being the oldest.

Joe was strangely okay with that. If he had to talk to Nick about last night, he didn't know what he'd say or do. He clambered out of bed when Kevin and Nick disappeared downstairs for breakfast. He didn't want to see the looks on their faces.

They were just…overreacting. A couple of pictures couldn't have that big an impact on JONAS's career.

No way.

No how.

Joe had more faith in his fans than that.

Still, maybe it wouldn't hurt to be on his best behavior. Just for a little while.

At school, during lunch, Stella found him. That in and of itself wasn't a surprise. Stella had some kind of Joe-dar, and whether he was in the boy's bathroom or hiding in the library, she always seemed to know where he was.

"So, I heard you're bisexual now?"

"I prefer the term bicurious," he glanced up from his sandwich, which he'd been enjoying in peace on the near deserted stairwell at the west end of the school.

"Your brothers must be pretty pissed."

"They might have a few objections to my recent behavior," Joe raised an eyebrow, "Do you?"

"Well-"

"Et tu, Brutus?"

Stella shrugged, "Look, I'm no stranger to the get wasted and pass out routine-"

"Since when?" Joe interjected, offended that Stella had been keeping a part of herself from him.

That was so not best friend behavior.

She smirked, "You guys go on tour for huge chunks of practically every summer. I've gotta stay entertained somehow."

"Sneaky."

He watched her preen, "I'll have you know, Joe, that I am an enigma."

Stella was a girl. Of course she was an enigma. They all were. He gave her his best patented 'duh' expression.

"Anyway," she continued, "You don't have the luxury of acting like a normal teenager. You can't keep doing this whole fake ID college bar thing- I'm sorry, but you're too well known. Partying is all about having fun and acting stupid, and your band's reputation can't risk public pictures of you…well, acting like you're going through some kind of bad boy rebellion."

"I get that. But there's no other way for me to- to-" Joe searched for words, coming up short.

"-to take advantage of being a rockstar? Joe, come on. You've given up so much for this band. Do you really want to throw it all away just so you can party? Start going to some school parties instead; with kids you trust. Van Dyke holds great keggers."

"I'm not going to a party thrown by Van Dyke Tosh."

"Your loss," she sighed, "Okay, what about a celebrity party? One where paparazzo's not going to be present, I mean."

"Nick and Kevin would never let me go to that kind of party."

"How do you know? Have you asked them, maybe?"

He couldn't tell her he'd spent the morning eavesdropping on his brothers, and that he'd pretty much gleaned they thought he was morphing into a perennial frat boy just because of two random bar stops. He couldn't imagine their reaction if he was all 'I want to go to one of those celeb bashes, you know, the ones where they do coke off women's stomachs and oh, can I take the limo?'

Yeah, that probably wouldn't go over well.

"Hey, you never know, Joe. Maybe one of them will even go with you," Stella placed a comforting hand on his arm.

That was just what he needed. What if Nick decided to come with? Then Joe, in a completely altered, drunken state of mind, could confess that he was suddenly jonesing to see how tight Nick's skinny jeans really were.

No thank you.

Joe shook Stella off, "I appreciate the advice. Really, Stella. I was thinking I'd just stay out of the public eye for a little while, until the rumors die down."

Stella bit her lip, "Have your parents talked to you yet?"

"I'm not even sure if they know. I think Kevin's been running damage control."

She smiled, soft and sweet, "You're lucky to have such good brothers, Joe."

"So I've heard."

The guilt flooded back then, accompanied by a flash of Nick, who right then he kind of wished wasn't his brother at all.

Nick said, "I need to talk to you," somewhere in between reruns of some reality TV show that Joe was only half-paying attention to anyway.

"I kind of figured."

"What have you been up to this past week?"

"Oh, I don't know. A little bit of this. A little bit of that. What have you been up to, Nick? Oh wait, I know. Penny," Joe laughed humorlessly, settling back against the sofa.

"That's not fair, Joe. Is that what this is about? Do you think I haven't been paying enough attention to you?"

Yes. Well, to the second part. Wanting to have the rockstar life wasn't really about Nick's love life at all. But Nick's attention had been centered on a certain harlot-who's-name-rhymed-with-Lenny lately, and that might have contributed to some bad-decision making.

Slightly.

"No, of course not. I don't see what the big deal is anyway, Nick. I've had a couple of beers. So what?"

"You going out and drinking isn't the problem, Joe. I mean," Nick ran a frustrated hand through his hair, "It is the problem, but it's not the fact that you're drinking. It's the attention you're calling to it."

"Someone took a few pictures, made up a few rumors. Big effing deal."

"Joe! Jesus, it is a big deal. You're- you're not really bisexual, are you?"

Those words made him stop and look at Nick, for real. He wanted to say no, that's ridiculous.

He wanted to, but all Joe could think was that Nick's got amazing eyes and lips.

Maybe questioning his sexuality wasn't so ridiculous after all. Was it just Nick, or would other guys get him all hot and bothered the way he was feeling now, the way he never should feel when his brother's standing in the room.

Still, that probably wasn't the answer Nick was looking for, so he gritted his teeth and lied, "No. How can you even ask that?"

"I'm just checking, dude," Nick held up his hands in a pacifying gesture, "It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. If you were, I mean. We could figure out a way to spin it."

Joe scoffed, "We don't need to spin anything. I'm- I'm going to stop going to college bars."

Nick sighed in relief, "Really? That's the best thing I've heard all day."

His little brother sagged in the seat beside him, like strings had been holding him up all day and he'd finally been cut free.

It didn't help the guilt thing much.

Except…Joe wasn't quite ready to give up on that whole rockstar dream. He hadn't even gotten to party for real, to take advantage of pretty girls and whatnot. Really, all he'd done was have a beer or two or five in some measly, poorly lit bars.

"You know that invite we got to that one party next week?" he said, kind of out of the blue. Nick tensed beside him.

"That one on the Upper East Side?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"I want to go."

Nick gave him a look like 'what-are-you-crazy'? Joe hated the look, but he wondered if maybe it was time to start questioning his sanity. Because, this thing he was proposing wasn't exactly a JONAS approved, family friendly activity.

"C'mon, Nick. No cameras. No fans. I promise, I'll drink responsibly."

"You shouldn't be-"

-drinking at all. Yeah, yeah. Joe knew.

"Loosen up a little Nick. Look, come with me. Bring-" he had to grit his teeth to force her name out, "Penny."

That got Nick to reconsider.

"Well-but- Joe, I'm just not sure it's a good idea. You know what those parties are famous for."

"After we go, they'll be famous for having two thirds of JONAS at them," Joe replied with a snarky grin.

Nick couldn't help but return it.

"Let me think about it."

"Nick," he whined.

"Joe," his baby brother warned.

"Niiiick."

"Okay. Fine. Just this once," Nick agreed, looking as though he'd do anything to make Joe happy.

It made Joe feel warm inside.

"Just this once," Joe agreed.

Of course, he was lying.

Hell, he was even getting good at it.

A/N: Slow chapter, but I needed to work up to the next one. IE, the chapter where shit really hits the fan. Please review and let me know what you think!