AN: I was just so upset with 4x18 i just cant stop writing things trying to fix it lol!
this is another one-shot. it maybe a little ooc, but not so much.. i think that if the writers would actually let it happen - Blair will really be this emotional.
and i really do promise to update With yoi i'm brighter!
also - the reviews you all give - they really make me happy and keep me motivated to write more! (2 stories in 2 days! that's a lot of motivation!) - so really thank you so so so much!
and like always- i hope you enjoy 8)

and of course - i own absolutely nothing. all belongs to CW.

Paralyzing Thoughts.

Walking around the city with a paralyzing thought in his head is how he got to this pathetic situation to begin with. So to find himself in the exact same place, 2 weeks later was very unpleasant.

Dan was walking around the city with Blair's words still echoing in his ears. Less then nothing. Less then nothing. How is it even possible that two people have the exact opposite reaction to the same kiss?

He didn't know what to do next. He wanted to believe that he saw a flash of regret and possibly even hurt in Blair's eyes when he told her he felt nothing as well – but really, he wasn't sure it was real, or just wishful thinking.

Dan felt his phone vibrate in his pocket – Charlie. They have been spending a lot of time together lately. She kept him from thinking about Blair. As much, at least. He was also pretty sure Charlie was flirting with him, but honestly, he was feeling so bad , he didn't mind much.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey you" Charlie said brightly "where are you?"

"Umm" Dan looked around for the street name of number somewhere "I'm not really sure" he said finally.

"On one of your confused walks again?" she asked him.

Dan smiled to himself "yeah. I guess I am."

"How about you take a cab to umm 53rd and lax and we'll walk confused together?" she offered.

Looking up again, Dan realized he was standing next to Blair's building. Scared out of his mind he agreed immediately "yes! Yes! I'm getting into a cab as we speak!" he said.

"Great!" Charlie said, clearly very happy "see you soon".

Bolting into the cab Dan didn't see Blair climbing out of her town car just in time to see him leave.

Blair was about to text him something but decided against it, remembering they were, to her own exact words - less then nothing.

Blair looked sadly at the disappearing cab, a slow tear rolling down her cheek. Quickly she wiped it away before anyone could see.

Arriving to his destination Dan grabbed Charlie and pulled her to the nearest café. They set quietly for a long time.

"So.." Charlie began breaking the silence "you still wont tell me what is it that confuses you so?"

Rubbing his forehead and looking anywhere but at Charlie, Dan was contemplating what to do. He knew he couldn't tell Charlie about Blair. But he had to talk about this! Had to let it out of his system! Maybe if he just doesn't say her name?

"There's this girl.." he said, and he saw Charlie's face fall , "listen Charlie, I know I must have been sending and doing very confusing things that I clearly shouldn't have. So if you'd like to slap me and leave storming – I'll understand." He said.

Charlie laughed, "Slap you? Really?" she asked and Dan just shrugged. "No" she said, "it's fine. I'll take you up on that slap some other time. When we first met you had this I-like-someone-and-it's-weird face, I just thought you'd get over it. But you didn't, so.. It's fine. Go on" she said with a bright smile.

"Well this girl and I – we kissed" Dan said and looked around them, as if to make sure nobody heard that except Charlie. "And she said that the kiss, which meant less then nothing to her, by the way, was what she needed to finally figure out that she was really meant to be with her ex" he finished with a heavy sigh. "This sounds so stupid when I say it out loud!" he said shaking his head.

"Were you around her ex when she said that?" Charlie asked. Dan nodded "how did you know that?"

"Simple" Charlie said, "Kissing you can not be nothing! I've been around you a week and I already think you're pretty awesome" she said and Dan blushed and bowed his head. "And she, must know it even better " Charlie continued, "Maybe she's scared? Maybe she doesn't know how to move on from her ex?" Dan looked at Charlie skeptically. She smiled at him "confront her again. Alone. Corner her. Make her tell you the truth. You'll know if she's lying."

Dan nodded "you know what?" he said getting up "you're right! I'll do that! Right now!" Charlie smiled encouragingly at him.

"Hey Dan," she grabbed his hand "if she still says no –come find me, okay?" she asked timidly.

Dan smiled down at her "you'll be the first." he said and left.

30 seconds later he came rushing back. Charlie looked at him like he had a second head "what….?"

"Tomorrow. I need time to work on what I'm going to say to her" Dan rambled.

Charlie glared at him. Very Blair like, actually. "Dan! Go see her!" she ordered him Dan gave her the best puppy dog face he could master. Charlie just kept glaring.

"Fine." He mumbled, got up and left again.

This time, he didn't even make it to the café door before running back to his seat.

"Daniel." Charlie said slowly getting up "go. Now. Or I will hurt you." She threatened.

Giving up, Dan nodded and left the café.

He was about to run back again when he saw Charlie was standing behind him "it'll be okay" she said softly. Dan smiled sadly at het and got into the cab.

The cab ride was quick. To quick. And Dan was standing in the lobby of Blair's building for what seemed like forever. What will he say? Is he really going to put himself out there like that? For Blair no less?

"Here goes nothing" he mumbled to himself and stepped inside the elevator.

Stepping into the penthouse – he was greeted by no one. He called out for Blair once, twice – no answer. He decided to go upstairs and see if maybe she's there.

He knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in" came her muffled voice from behind it.

He opened the door. Blair was with her back to him, busy with something he couldn't see. So he cleared his throat. Clearly not expecting a male's voice, Blair jumped "AH!" she screamed and turned around.

Dan was scratching the back of his head embarrassed. "Sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you.." he said.

"Dan? What are you…?" she trailed off.

"I need to talk to you" he admitted.

Blair, to his great surprise simply nodded and invited him in. honestly, he was half expecting her to snort at him and send him away, claiming she didn't have time for him.

"Tell me again the kiss meant nothing. Less then nothing" he corrected himself, allowing her to clearly see the hurt he felt "one more time"

Blair shook her head "Dan… I… why.. why are you doing this?" she asked.

Dan took a deep breath – now or never.

"Because it wasn't nothing to me. And I don't believe it was to you." there. He said it. There's no going back now. Dan saw then the clearly surprised look on her face.

"But you said..: she began.

"Because you started it." He said "and you said it to get chuck back. And it hurt me. So, I said it back." He explained. He noticed Blair eyes getting moist with tears.

"I.. I cant.." she said quietly "you should go" she said a bit louder.

"No!" he said. The strong tone surprised both of them. "Tell me it meant nothing! Tell me I mean nothing" he said. This time, Dan saw the tears rolling down her face slowly. He wanted to wipe them, to apologize for the harshness of his voice. He really did. But he couldn't. He was rooted to his spot.

"Don't say that…" Blair told him "I never said you meant nothing"

"You might as well have" Dan said.

"What do you want huh?" Blair suddenly yelled at him "you want the truth? You want to what? Hear me say that kissing you was the first good thing that happened to me in god knows how long? That I walked away stunned because if I hadn't I would have asked you to stay the night? That I'm the happiest I've been in ages when I'm around you? There! That's the truth! You happy now? Will you drop this now?" by now, tears were flying freely from her eyes.

Dan rushed to her side and tried to hug her but Blair pushed him away angrily.

"No!" she yelled. "Don't you understand? This cant happen!"

"Why?" he asked timidly.

"Because!" she said throwing her hands in the air "you're Serena's! I'm Chuck's! You're from Brooklyn! I'm the Upper East Side princess! This is not the way things are meant to work out! This is all wrong!".

Dan remembered then what Charlie told him. "Are you scared?" he asked.

"Scared?" Blair looked at him with wide eyes "scared? I'm petrified! Do you know what this means?" she mention to the space between them "Serena will never speak to me again.. Chuck will kill you! We'll be the joke of the town! This is.." Blair was cut off by Dan's lips crushing into hers.

This kiss was different from the first one. In this one Dan was trying to make a point. He broke away leaving Blair gasping for air. "How did you feel? Just now?" he asked, foreheads pressed together.

"I.. this.." she started to protest.

"How did you feel?" he repeated himself.

"Good. Safe. Happy?" she admits.

"Then that's all that matters." Dan smiled down at her.

Blair was about to protest but he cut her off with another kiss. This one was gentle. Slow.. He wanted her to feel butterflies. He wrapped his hands around her small frame and pulled her as close as he could, so that they were touching. Everywhere. He kissed her slowly, taking charge of the kiss. Licking her lips he begged for permission. She parted her lips so that they can deepen the kiss. Blair moaned into his mouth and let her hands get lost in his short soft curls. Dan broke the kiss again, causing the smallest whimper from Blair. He took a deep breath.

"We'll talk to Serena together. Explain everything. She loves you, she'll understand. And chuck will not kill me. He has to much going on to have time for that" Dan said, wishing it was true. "And maybe, life isn't what you planed. And now you should to what feels right, not just looks right.

Blair was silent.

"We'll go talk to her together?" she finally asked.

"We will" Dan promised.

Blair nodded. "I can't believe I'm doing this!" she said. "Dan Humphrey. Dan Humphrey!" Dan smiled proudly "that's me!" he said and Blair pushed him away from their embrace.

Dan took Blair's hand and kissed it softly.

"Stay the night?" Blair asked timidly. Dan smiled as brightly as he could "I'd love to".

And so they changed into their pajamas. Well, Dan was left with his boxers and his undershirt. They climbed in to her bed. Blair curled up close to Dan and rested her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head.

Just before she fell asleep Blair mumbled into his chest "I'm glad you came.. Labrador."

He snickered and kissed her head again "me too" he said.

And finally – sleep took over both of them.

Hope you liked it!

Reviews are good for your skin!

Michaela 8)

xoxo