Chapter 24: Samus the Troubleshooter
Link had come across a few rupees in the pocket of an old tunic he had found lying on the floor and, being the loyal guy that he was, had at once decided to pay off some of his debt. Captain Falcon had during that innocent errand somehow gotten it out of him that he was going on another date, with somebody other than Zelda, and insisted upon lending him some more money and, to top it off, something nice to wear. Link had gently declined but trying to turn the offer down did not have the desired effect because Captain Falcon had decided for a surprise attack, grabbed his wrist and pulled him into his room. Hero of Time or not, you were pretty much defenseless when someone of the racer's size got a hold of you.
Link had already taken on the same jeans he had borrowed last time. He could see Falcon's blue outfit stretch over his backside when he squatted down in front of the wardrobe and he thought to himself that he had actually never seen the jeans on Falcon. Perhaps that was a good thing because it would look funny with that helmet he refused to take off. Whenever the helmet was in question, the racer was just as stubborn as Samus.
"I don't get how they planned this whole thing out," Link said, deciding to strike up a conversation while Captain Falcon was busy ruining the neat piles of clothes. "The competition, you know. One match per day. It'll take an eternity to get this over with and how will we provide for ourselves while we're here? It's not like they give us pocket money."
"You don't have to worry about the loan."
"I don't worry. Well, I'm not shrugging it off or anything. It's just not what I was talking about."
Captain Falcon got his hands on a shirt and twisted it in his right hand, which really did not give you a good look of it at all, before he tossed it over to Link. "How about this one?"
"Too nice," Link replied and threw it back. It would have laid itself nicely over the racer's face unless he had caught it.
"Too nice?" Captain Falcon repeated, exemplifying some splendid vocalizing while he was at it.
"I can't wear something better than when I went out with Zelda. It'll give her the wrong impression. I told you she was going with us," Link explained.
"Right, bring out the best side of the blueberry," Captain Falcon sardonically replied and threw across a T-shirt.
Link frowned. Blueberry was one of the many codenames for Marth and although Link would rather french Peach than admit that his rival was handso… not explicitly bad-looking, the racer had a point that perhaps it would not do him any good to look too sloppy in comparison.
Granted, Marth was a lairy man that could walk around in pastels and make it look like the male sex was created to wear it, but Link's looks were not to be brushed aside either. Unlike Marth, he was not quite (not near) as androgynous. It was a comfort to know that he was taller and a bit more on the muscular side than the prince. But only a small comfort.
He threw back the T-shirt.
"I'm allowed to think that I'm better than him, right?" Link said. He was not so egocentric that he could allow himself to work Marth over, even though it was Marth, without at least asking if it could be permitted.
Captain Falcon smirked. "After all the things he's done to you? He can be the Grinch and you can be Snow White."
Link raised his eyebrows. He was the girl?
"Anyway, enough about Marth. Why don't you just wear that white sweater you always wear underneath that old tunic of yours?"
"You know, that idea ain't half bad," Link said and then noticed Falcon reaching for his wallet. "And don't even think about giving me any money. I didn't give you all of my savings or anything so I have enough to go around."
"I don't get why you put yourself in situations like this. Now you're wasting your last money on some girl you don't even like while the one you really want comes along to watch? I'll say it again, either you tell the girl or you back off, got it?" Captain Falcon said while he followed Link to the door and according to Link's wishes kept his hand away from his wallet.
"And I've explained that I can't risk our friendship," Link shot back, pretending not to notice Captain Falcon rolling his eyes at the cliché argument. "We've known each other since we were kids. And for your information I thought that I was doing well until she suggested that I go out with someone else and join her and Lord Bluebottle on a nice little outing."
Captain Falcon gave him a look of pity through the dark visor and shook his head. "Right, well, make sure you outshine him then. Be on the offense, 'kay? And don't wear that stupid hat."
Captain Falcon grabbed the long green hat that Link wore just as faithfully as he and Samus wore their helmets. Link snatched it back and pulled it all the way down over his long pointy ears. His eyes, which peered irritably at the captain from just beneath the rim of the hat, got a gleam that brightened the otherwise deep blue color.
"I'll try," Link said when they approached the door and kept a watchful eye on the captain when he let go of his green hat.
"I'll follow you to the door, staying out of the way 'til you're gone of course but then I'm off to town as well. Kirby is part of the cooking crew today."
Both of them, being participants of the previous competition, thought back on Kirby's insatiable appetite and the abyss that was his stomach. If you had ever seen a snake swallow a kangaroo it was nothing in comparison to what Kirby could do. Where the snake would end up with a lump on its body, Kirby, who was of a size that would make him and excellent soccer ball, would look just the same as before he decided to swallow something ten times his size.
"Hardly any food to put on the table," they both concluded.
The girls were also busy getting ready. Samus was stationed on Peach's big pink bed, knowing that she was a prisoner that the cozy room only tried to lull into an illusion of safety. She could never feel comfortable in the princess's room. The teacup was left untouched, the hot drink in it seeming less tempting the more time that passed and its steam turning thinner. The stuffed animals stared unblinkingly at her with silly smiles and the worst thing was that her butt was sinking into the soft bed like it wanted to swallow her.
Peach looked like a prima ballerina, dancing around Zelda and putting the finishing touches to her outfit. The baby pink dress that Peach wore really did look like something a dancer would wear. The long tutu went to her knees and the tulle roses that went around her shoulders matched the flowers she had put in her hair.
Samus had once again been forced to act as the critic of the other two girls' outfits. It was hard to see the point in commenting on their clothes, but then again, who knew how their minds worked? Naturally, they looked annoyingly flawless with lots of horribly tiny details that were deathtraps when they wanted an opinion. Samus had an eye for details but when it came to clothes she steadfastly believed that it was the entirety in its completeness that counted and not if the hairpin matched the belt. Fortunately, she could get away if she used as few words as possible because you could be sure that every single thing matched something else. You just had to avoid guessing what went with what.
So far Samus thought that she had managed pretty well. Although there had been a few long pauses on her part she had not ended up stuttering like last time and it made the whole thing a lot more fun.
"Flat shoes?" Samus interrupted Peach's blathering. She shifted a bit to emerge from the bed. Even if the ballerina-styled shoes went well with the theme Peach was going with it was very unlike her to separate from her beloved pink pumps. To her surprise Peach's cheeks took on a color that, even somebody with Samus's sense of fashion could tell, went well with her pink dress.
"Well, you know…" Peach said coyly, fidgeting with Zelda's dress. "Without the heels…"
"Yes?"
Peach closed her eyes and clamped her teeth to silence the squeal that was on its way out. "Roy will be just a tinsy bit taller than me."
"Then I assume you count his hair that stands straight up?" Samus wryly replied.
"I think it's your turn to get dressed now, Samus," was Peach's answer. Samus felt that she went out of the frying-pan into the fire when she was saved from the clutches of the bed covers only to end up in Peach's claws.
"I'm fine the way I am, thank you," Samus said and pressed down her helmet while she looked for an escape. It was hard not to grumble when she in her search noticed that the demonic bed benevolently spared Zelda who sat down comfortably with one leg crossed over the other and showed no sign of sinking into a bottomless pit.
Peach saw her chance and nabbed the red helmet with a triumphant "ha" that was drawn out and then died when she caught sight of what was underneath the precious helmet she had just gotten her hands on.
"Zelda, come over here," Peach whispered like Samus was a wild animal that could run away any second. Zelda tiptoed over to Peach's side and, despite not showing much surprise, eyed Samus's face in silent wonder.
Samus tilted her head to the side, quite enjoying the look on Peach's face and decided to let it slide that she had taken off her helmet. It was impossible not to put on a look as if to say "what?" and a satisfied smirk. She was not shy. She knew that heads would turn when she walked by. What she disliked was that in comparison to the two princesses beauty had never been a benefit to her.
Most of the time, it was a kind of freedom to be mistaken for a man. There were even times when Samus felt a sort of belonging that she never could in the company of women. The whole idea of girlfriends sounded so indisputably wrong to her ears that she had to doubt that she had actually befriended the two princesses. Inside her suit, her safe shell, the women would keep their distance and the men would not differentiate her.
However, Samus had never felt like she wanted to hide. It just made things easier to let people believe in their own assumptions. She had confidence in her good looks even if she could not claim to possess the same femininity as her friends. She did not have the big bright eyes or the full lips. Her blue eyes were dark and slim, her lips thin and unsmiling. Her chin was too long and her skin did not have the same luster. What men saw in her she would never know, but it gave her reassurance in front of Peach who had so unjustly deemed it impossible for her to be one of the girls.
"I'm just warning you. If you're going to dress me up I don't want to look like I'm from some…" Samus stopped herself from adding a swearword since it was the two princesses she was with. "Some kind of brothel," Samus reminded Peach of the first time she had been allowed to dress Zelda up.
"Shush, Samus, what do you take me for?" Peach said, shaking her head slightly and her cheeks reddening. "And it was inspired by the nobles of the 18th century with a contemporary touch," Peach quietly added. "It's just that not anyone can wear it. Now step out of that suit."
Samus obeyed, if only to be able to see another hilarious grimace made by Peach. The Zero Suit she wore underneath the Varia Suit did not expose much skin but it was very generous in showing off her curves. Zelda and Peach each expressed ten variations of doubt. Did they really think that it was something you wore because it was fun? Nevertheless, it was hilarious to see their reaction to a body that could easily match theirs.
"What's the matter, Peach?" Samus taunted, putting her hands on her hips and enjoying herself thoroughly. Peach walked up to her, biting her bottom lip and getting a taste of her strawberry lip-gloss. She looked hesitant to speak and tentatively brushed some invisible dust from Samus's shoulders. Samus felt her confidence run off her like water.
"This will be a challenge," Peach sighed and Samus neither said nor did anything, too shaken by the fact that she was not pretty enough to dress up. Peach scurried over to the wardrobe with her tutu bouncing around her like a pink cloud while Samus twisted her head in Zelda's direction and stared at her as if to ask if Peach was right.
"Broad shoulders make sleeveless dresses a no-no," Peach mumbled to herself. "But tight long sleeves will only bring out the muscles and those tall legs will make the length of the skirt troublesome." Peach paused to peer at Samus, looking more and more troubled. "Actually, if it weren't so hot out today we could have covered those muscular legs up. Jewelry will only look wrong, like metal on marble, and the hair… the hair…"
Samus threw a glance in the mirror. There was nothing wrong with her hair. It was true that she had only taken about ten seconds to put it up in a sloppy ponytail, even missing a few chunks of hair that framed her face, but it was not dirty.
Peach settled for a dress and made her move while Samus sulkily stared at her own reflection. Samus, who had expected to fend off a Peach with a bunch of flower barrettes, frilly pink dresses, uncomfortable corsets and laced petticoats, was almost disappointed when a plain black dress was pulled over her head. It was of a slim design, almost boring, with a square shaped neckline and ending just above her knees.
"What do you think?" Peach asked when she crawled around on the floor to put Samus's feet into a pair of black shoes with rectangular buckles and low heels.
"It looks like someone's taken a big tight t-shirt and cut the sleeves in half," Samus muttered. It was dissatisfying to find how well the dress Peach had picked out suited her.
"Then we'll do the hair," Peach declared when she popped up in front of Samus. She swiftly put it up in an almost identical ponytail again after some swift brushing and after spraying a variation of products that Samus could not keep track of into her hair. She would have loved to get her hand on a bottle to read what it contained but Peach was so effective in her work that she barely got a glance of the names on the labels.
"I would wash it but we are running out of time," Peach apologized. She checked that the loose hair on either side of Samus's face, that was now left on purpose, was of the same length. It felt odd that the princess's hard work actually made a difference. It was the exact same hairstyle but it looked more arranged, stylish, than it ever had before.
"Well, what do you think?" Peach asked expectantly.
"I don't see any difference," Samus mumbled and ignored Peach's pleading gaze for more praise. She was the one always saying that Samus had nothing good to say about things like these so why was it so important now? "We should leave."
Peach remained with hands locked together and eyes that seemed to grow larger each second staring at Samus. Bambi would be outclassed.
"I wonder what the guys will be wearing. Maybe Roy has put on something that makes him look taller?" Samus said with a tone that suggested she was thinking out loud and finally made Peach whirl around to hurry to the door. Perhaps it was out of habit of wearing high heels every day but she half tiptoed in her flat ballerina shoes instead of walking. Samus smiled at Peach skipping out of the room and extended a hand for Zelda who gratefully accepted it.
"Thank you, that bed is like a Likelike," Zelda whispered.
"Likelikeli…" Samus interrupted herself when she felt that she was adding a few too many likes to suit her liking. She had a vague feeling that Link had mentioned Likelikes at some occasion as well which really made her feel foolish.
Zelda's hand glided out of Samus's and the bounty hunter quickly pulled her hand back and gazed over at Peach waiting at the door. It was not with a lot of enthusiasm that she followed her royal friends. If they were to explain her sudden change of style to every single Smasher they would be delayed and it would also be very tiresome for her.
It was just her luck that Fox bumped into them the second they exited the pink prison. Samus looked down at him rubbing a spot between his long ears while muttering something that could just as well have been an apology as noises of pain.
"Watch where you're going," Samus sighed at her stubborn admirer and shoved him a bit further away from her. When he was not trying out new pick-up lines, each worse than the other, he was quite enjoyable company and a close friend so it was with some well concealed affection that he was pushed away.
"Samus," Fox exclaimed at the sound of the familiar voice and his head shot up eagerly. At the sight of her visage his happiness increased tenfold; his eyebrows rising, a smile gracing his mouth, his ears twitching. He was not a dog but his tail made a joyful sweep while he took in the full sight of her. She had never appreciated such stares and knocked him on the head, a bit harder than what was intended but since she wore no heavy suit she thought to herself that it ought to be forgiven.
"I-I must have mistaken you for someone else," Fox said, eyes glued to her.
"Just passing through," Samus said dismissively and made an attempt to walk away when she found that a weight was holding her back. Fox had apparently not been discouraged by her callousness and tried to trap her in, what he considered, a deep loving embrace to take the new mysterious beauty by storm. It was not too successful since he did not reach much higher than her waist.
Samus slapped her forehead to remove the image of herself, Peach and Zelda walking around the house with Mario, Young Link and Fox hanging around their waists like tool belts.
"We'll be late," Peach said while tapping her foot.
"Late? Wherever you're going I can guarantee that you will have a better time with me," Fox said, his animal teeth reminding Samus of a crocodile when he grinned up at her.
"Fox," she hissed and pressed her palm into his face when pushing him away.
"Samus?" Fox asked again. His tail stopped moving about when he took a second good look at her. In a way it was ironic that the man who had pursued her since the first competition had no clue how she really looked. Actually, she had always been convinced that it was easier that way because it created a distance that made it possible not to take his approaches seriously and she could not even begin to imagine how he, with his eye for women, would act after seeing her.
Samus ignored the flood of compliments that the fox showered over her, throwing in one or two for the other girls every now and then, and shoved the princesses forward. "You're right, Peach. We will be late."
All three men were already waiting for them. The atmosphere was not too bad thanks to the distance Marth and Link had put between themselves, with backs facing each other and both stubbornly pretending that the other did not exist.
The girls' arrival brought forth a smile on Roy's lips that could not solely depend on being happy to see them. It was just as well out of relief to have them there and no longer be alone with the two mortal enemies.
Peach looked very pleased with Roy's black jeans and big red T-shirt until it hit her that red clashed with pink. She played with her earring and giggled uncertainly at Roy who was waving at her and hurrying away from Marth's side when he finally had an excuse to do it.
"We're doomed. We're a horrible match," Peach whispered solemnly to Samus who did not even try to figure out what she was talking about.
Samus glanced at Link who had just noticed them and quickly headed in their direction. Like expected though, he was not looking back at her. The smile that she had grown used to since way back, and which now greeted them with warmth, was as she should have known only for one person. Admiration written all over his face, Link's mouth was about to form words of praise when Samus pressed her hand over his mouth and casually put her other hand on her hip, like it was perfectly normal behavior to lean on someone in such a manner.
"Don't you look good today?" she said, feeling her body temperature rising. Link raised his eyebrows at her which she took as a sign that it was safe to remove her hand but she let it stay where it was just to be sure. He barely glanced at Zelda brushing by him and Samus watched Marth approach her over Link's shoulder. She was not one to waste her sympathies but somehow she pitied her friend.
How long ago was it that she had met Link? A young man brimming with confidence, ready to take on the world. At least that had been her first impression of him and she had thought that it would change, but instead she had unexpectedly come to appreciate him all the more. His friendly nature and open behavior, sincere in every single one of his actions. But ever since Zelda's arrival, the Link she had come to know had changed into a being of insecurity and fear. When it came to Zelda it was as if he would not progress unless there was a 100 % chance of success. But odds like those were not a part of real life, she knew that and he had to be aware of it deep down too. Then it was more likely that Marth would suddenly decide to shave off his hair.
Samus looked over at Zelda and Marth again. After a whole night of stalking them she was not surprised that Zelda had managed to pick out the one of Peach's dresses that was of the exact blue color of the shirt that Marth had chosen to wear. She saw Marth tilt his head slightly to the side, barely making an inquiry of a nod, but Zelda lowered her head like he had just spoken to her. Samus could not see her face, only her hair moving from behind, but she could easily imagine a self-conscious look on Zelda's face. For some reason though, it was hard to imagine a blush on her pale cheeks.
It felt horrible seeing Marth and Zelda together. Exhausting would probably be closer to the truth. They seemed so very far away when together, so unreachable. To avoid drawing Link's attention to them she looked into his eyes, struck by how very blue they were up close. Maybe the impression was strengthened by the absence of her helmet? She hastily pulled her hand away from his mouth, the feeling of his lips lingering on her palm.
"You look good, Samus," he said.
"You sound surprised," she said.
Without a doubt Link was surprised. If his imaginations had been anywhere near her real looks their friendship would have been strained. Samus had expected a certain amount of admiration despite knowing about Link's unhealthy obsession with Zelda but she was also left surprised. It was for certain that Link looked at her but there really was nothing there but a mild surprise and appreciation. While Samus rather avoided generalizing she had to react on that here stood a healthy young man that did not show the slightest bit of attraction towards her? Roy had been taking a good look when he thought that Peach would not notice and Marth was an asocial jerk that could probably not feel at all. To Roy's credit had to be said that he got to his senses when Peach addressed him.
"Is that our ride?" Peach asked.
"Yup, we've been watching it approach since before you arrived," Roy replied.
"Really?"
Peach watched the incoming cloud of dust where a yellow vehicle was barely visible.
"Well, it looks nice," she said and squinted at the distant taxi while blocking out the sun with her hand.
"It's of course nothing near our baby but it'll do."
"Oh, but what could ever outshine our little darling? Speaking of which, you think he'll be fine alone when we're going out like this? I feel a little guilty."
"Please," Samus muttered and rolled her eyes while Link stifled a laugh next to her. "By the way, I wonder how many hours Marth spent on his hair," she added quietly.
"Depends on when he got the invitation," Link replied.
"He's even wearing that cute tiara to casual wear?"
"How else will he feel all high and mighty so that he can look down on people?"
"You got something there. It's probably good for his ego, you know, making it up for lacking in other areas."
"Having to resort to something like that to support his ego, you can somewhat guess just how much he needs to make up for it."
Peach side walked over to Zelda and nudged her with her shoulder.
"Don't they seem to get along?" she whispered and nodded in Samus and Link's direction where the two were keeping their heads close and doing their best not to break into hysteric laughter. Samus had her hand pressed tightly over her mouth as if she had not felt like laughing out loud in years. It was not anything new to Zelda that they got along, but yet it was not a pleasant feeling to look at them.
"I assume we should be happy for them," Zelda said quietly, not wishing to look at her friends but doing it all the same. Marth had been staying silent during the ladies' little talk but now he put his hand around her chin and moved her head so that all she could look at was him.
"Yes," Peach said tentatively, "We'll just let them take care of themselves and I think I'll leave you two alone as well now, oh, what do you know, the taxi is arriving."
"Here already," Zelda said while looking straight into Marth's dark eyes, his cobalt blue bangs shadowing them and bringing out the blue of his irises.
It was fortunate that Marth removed his hand and took a step back, instead gesturing for Zelda to walk before him to the taxi, because as soon as he had Link turned around. Samus had given up her dignity and allowed herself to be supported on Link's arm to muffle her own laughs. While she did find it funny she was aware that she would not even have giggled if Link's laughter had not spread like an electric shock from him to her.
Roy grinned foolishly when Marth towed Zelda past both him and Peach. The Hylian princess glanced at them uncertainly but both the lord and the princess ensured her with gestures and facial expressions that it was quite all right, something which Marth had taken for granted.
The taxi looked pretty much like any other ordinary taxi, besides its size. One would perhaps assume that there in a world where Koopas, humans and Toads coexisted there would be arrangements to suit every single species. The thing about this taxicab was that it was twice as wide as a usual car, which probably had something to do with the driver that was of a size that could rival Donkey Kong and Bowser.
The three couples could all fit in the back seat although it was a tight squeeze even considered the generous size of it. The driver that did not look like much more than a big mass of purple goo did not exactly provide the best service, but then again, perhaps the pay was low? If any of the Smashers had socialized a bit more with the Pokémon that had entered the competition they would have recognized the driver as one called Muk. Pokémon were not exactly specialized in human service occupations so it probably saved them some confusion not to know.
That the driver was a purple pile of slime that could not do much more than say its own name (and apparently drive) did not change Marth's opinion that it could at least dawdle over to open the door for the ladies, meaning the princesses and excluding Samus.
The prince glared at Muk's backside while opening the car door for Zelda who shuffled over close to the middle. Her bare shoulder collided with something a little more compact that nearly stole her breath away.
"Sorry," she apologized.
"My bad," said Link.
Zelda looked up, finding herself so close to her friend's face that his blond bangs brushed her forehead when he pulled back.
"Watch it," Samus said and elbowed Link in the side when he crawled back, straight into his date that had been about to climb into the car after him. On the other side Marth eyed the spectacle when he sat down next to Zelda and crossed his arms. Of course the imbecile had to sit next to Zelda. He was like glue; sticky, icky and impossible to get rid of. At least he had surprisingly crawled away from Zelda which meant that there was no use making a big deal out of his annoying simplemindedness.
Roy bowed playfully and let Peach enter after Marth. Peach chose to smile when the prince peered disapprovingly at her sitting down next to him. His body language, the crossed arms and legs, seemed to signal the same hostility towards her as the look in his eyes.
Peach giggled uncertainly, taken by how beautiful the prince really was, but repelled by his coldness. She pulled Roy into the car, choosing to wrap her arms around his right one and pressing herself close to him. Despite all her efforts, and Roy automatically pressing himself against the window, Peach's thighs were still touching Marth's.
Things seemed to go rather well. Neither Link nor Marth looked like they were about to attack the other until Samus got sick of being pushed against the car door and thrust Link away to give herself some well earned space. It created a domino effect where Link bumped into Zelda who, a bit more softly, bumped into Marth who barely bumped into Peach. The blue-haired prince did not look like he would let such a thing slide and Link did not look like he was in the mood to stand Marth's indignant accusations either.
"I am sorry, Marth," Zelda said, the only one unaware of the tension thickening like cream being whipped into butter.
Her apology made Link realize that Marth's condemning scowl had distracted him from apologizing to Zelda. He broke the staring contest with Marth to tentatively grab Zelda's shoulders and twist her upper body closer to him. Because it was seldom that she was without her golden spaulders and even more seldom showing bare shoulders it was distracting to touch her without his leather gauntlets. He almost forgot what he was going to say and scolded himself for making it into something bigger than it really was.
"I did not hurt you, did I?" he asked and managed to keep his voice strong and clear. Zelda merely stared back at him unblinkingly, almost as if she was at a loss for words, which had to be one of the most unusual things that had ever happened to him.
Peach tried to silently signal for Samus to go between them and reclaim her date but Samus just grinned evilly and looked out the window like she had not noticed Peach at all. The princess frowned, something she was barely able to do with her tiny eyebrows, but since that had little success of interrupting the Hylians she raised her hand to her mouth to cough.
Before the sound could interrupt them, Link's right hand was flicked away from Zelda by Marth. Even if Link had been more tolerant of Marth it was hard to be when the prince's forward actions the other day still lingered on his mind.
Zelda turned around to check if there was anything wrong with Marth the very same moment that Link decided that he was fed up with Marth. What he had intended to do would never be found out, though, because Samus was quick to react and grabbed him from behind.
"Are you insane?" she hissed. "We're in a car. He's not worth more than a bug so don't get so irritated. Would you make such a ruckus over a fly?"
"But," Link protested quietly when Zelda turned back to them, raising her eyebrows at the two of them that looked like they could just as well be hugging in their position.
"Oh, you'll have plenty of time for that later," Peach said, leaning into view from behind a disgusted Marth. Zelda quickly looked away, something which made Marth's eyes rest on her in suspicion.
"We're not…" Link and Samus exclaimed. The bounty hunter let go of Link, colliding with the side of the car while Link practically jumped into Zelda's arms. Samus bit her tongue to block out the pain in her shoulder when she noticed that Link, unlike when she had held him mere seconds ago, turned crimson from barely brushing against Zelda. It was unreal. She could not imagine that a man with his good looks could have avoided women practicing their charm on him. Yet the only one he was conscious about was Zelda.
Maybe she could to some extend understand such foolhardy commitment. Love was really nothing like what it was described as in nonsensical poems or the way Peach liked to think of it. No matter how sweet and good it was made out to be the truth would remain that it bore a resemblance to psychosis.
It was not a matter of the heart, but of the brain.
Neurotics who suffered from obsessive thoughts, to be a bit more specific obsessive-compulsive disorder, could be completely consumed by their desire to still the intruding anxiety within them. It could be about avoiding dirt or sickness or something of the likes, the point was that OCD patients had a somewhat lower amount of the hormone serotonin in their blood.
Infatuation could also bring about a temporary decrease of serotonin where the effect would be that the love stricken would suddenly feel depressed. This would strengthen the infatuation, causing the brain to make everything about the person focus on winning the object of affection, even to manic degrees.
Naturally, there is more to love than obsession and several more elements involved. For instance the almost doubled production of the signal substance phenethylamine, which can also be found in many hallucinogenic drugs, is what in contrast to the serotonin makes infatuation something pleasant. The euphoria one in love will experience because of it can be comparable to eating chocolate, only that it would require 15 kilos of chocolate to reach the same amount of PTA.
That was not the only thing that had a positive effect on someone in love. The brain's rewarding system also played a great part in infatuation. The signal substance dopamine usually made humans and animals feel good about a work well done. To somebody in love on the other hand, it would function as a way to encourage the fervent courting of the chosen one.
Link was a man chained by the natural proceedings going on inside his body. Albeit Samus knew that the very same feelings had made countless of people do the most outrageous and not always good things, Link's feelings appeared unnaturally strong for someone who had pursued one woman for so long. She could not know for certain but she would assume that his peculiar destiny had twisted his feelings. He had fallen in love with Zelda only to be sent back in time to his childhood. Young Link would be proof enough that the feelings had never faded. True, he could not love her like an adult but he loved her nonetheless.
Peach unwrinkled her skirt and smiled at nothing in particular, leaving Samus and Link's objections hanging in the air.
"Peach," Samus said threateningly.
"Zelda," Link said pleadingly.
"So, where exactly are we going once we reach town?" Roy cut in and laughed uneasily.
Peach had to give that some thought. It would have to be something that Samus and Link would enjoy. Something thrilling and violent. The problem was that Zelda and Marth needed to enjoy themselves too which would demand a setting of privacy and silence.
"I can only speak for myself but I'm hungry and I doubt we'll be back home in time for dinner," Roy talked on with overacted cheerfulness. Peach shook her head, thinking that it would simply not do to have all of them eating together but perhaps she would be pleasantly surprised? Maybe there was a chance that the couples would all fall in love in the candlelight while enjoying a nice meal together? At the same time she could figure out the perfect place to go afterwards.
"I know a great restaurant," Peach said. "I am so happy that you're here Roy. With your great ideas it's like everything solves itself."
"Can you tell us more about this restaurant," Link said with a nodding Samus beside him. For Samus's sake he had not intended to be stingy but they were going out with royalties that could probably waste a year's wage in one night.
"I believe that someone with Princess Peach's intellectuality ought to have selected a place worthy of your standards," Marth said like a grown-up out of tiredness giving the answer to a question that a bunch of children had tried to solve for two hours. For a moment it seemed like the last words would be drenched by a yawn but either it was not so or he managed to hold it back. During the full sentence he looked at the road as stubbornly as if he was car sick.
Samus could not decide whether what the prince had said was more insulting to Peach or to her and Link. One was for certain though, Zelda refused to see that Marth would say anything disrespectful and was just like Marth looking out the front window lost in thought. Maybe she had not even heard? No, it was unthinkable. Then something had to be wrong.
Link frowned at Marth, thinking a bit more carefully at what had just been said to him than Samus had. When he the full insult in all its splendor had made itself clear from every possible angle, Link's face reddened with his effort not to do something rash.
Marth willingly met Link's fiery glare with an icy one of his own. A miracle could only last for so long, but at least they were trying to hold back until the very end. They stared each other down over Zelda's head, unable to express anything else than pure hatred. No one dared to interfere except for Samus who tugged at Link's white sweater, hoping to avoid a disaster.
"Muk Muk," the driver said in a dark voice that had an undertone of something slimy being stuck in the speaker's throat.
"What do you know, we're here," Roy and Peach cried and stumbled out of the car. Peach somehow tripped in her flat ballerina shoes but Roy caught her and uneasily brushed off her dress when he released her from his arms. The pink fabric bounced right back up where he flattened it. Embarrassed by her own clumsiness, Peach began to giggle which she tried to do at the same time as she took in a few breaths of the fresh and cool air together with Roy.
Marth and Link stepped out on opposite sides and resumed their glaring over the cab. That was until Zelda was about to get herself out of the car and Marth broke the eye contact to give her a helping hand.
"He knows that it teases you more," Samus whispered to Link who was frozen on the spot. She put a consoling hand on his shoulder, feeling how tense he was. The hotness of his skin seemed to radiate from him to the extent that it warmed her without touching him. He was even more upset then he would let show.
Samus thought that she should give Marth a death glare of her own for Link's sake when she noticed that the prince were having difficulties getting Zelda's attention. It was not like those two ever spoke much when together but Zelda appeared to be lost in thought and not in the mood to disappear in a mist of perfection together with Marth. They could probably have fooled anyone else and Samus did not know why she thought as she did but to her the prince looked rejected when straightening up and keeping his facial expression in check. Zelda did not even acknowledge that he was there beside her.
"Well, well," Samus mumbled to herself. Maybe Zelda was the one she needed to watch a bit more closely?
Turn back, thou assiduous, for this is naught but an illusion. I have doubts myself that this is a real chapter. A-Anyway, it is not like everybody's gone, right? (Sound of crickets chirping).
I am so ashamed to be gone for so long because I got so many kind reviews for the last chapter. They were really lovely (guns aside and zelink support noted). I just read them over and over (probably with lots of tears), slapped myself and said "let's do this!" every time I tried to write. It really is the least you can do when people take the time to leave their opinion.
I think that a whole chapter could be dedicated to Samus being out of her suit and how absolutely gorgeous she is but, nah, I do not really care much for it. Besides, this is long enough as it is. Too bad for Samus, though.
Marth will keep his bad attitude one more chapter and then I will magically transform him back into a perfect gentleman. I make Link out to be such a victim that I am getting tired of him myself.
Oh, that's right. I made a poll too but being gone for a couple of month does not really help the traffic (not that there are many people checking out my profile anyway). If you feel like it and it's not too much trouble I would appreciate your vote. It's nothing revolutionary, just fun to have in the back of my head when I am writing (you know, if people really, really want Luigi to have a fateful encounter with a cake).
Thank you for reading.