Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original plot and storyline of Never Enough, however, belong to me. Please be nice and don't copy or translate without permission. Thank you.
Iadorepugs + CullenCrazy01 = best betas a writer could ever ask for. And the best friends and support system a girl could ever hope for.
So I'm doing something I've NEVER done before – I'm updating before I answer my reviews from the previous chapter. To say that RL has been...challenging...is the understatement of my life right now. I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter to you – I simply didn't want to delay any longer by waiting until I found the time to reply to reviews. Please trust that you'll hear from me in response to all reviews to all chapters.
All right, the vacation is almost over. One very special evening left...
Chapter 32
Our final day on the island was rainy and cold, much more like the springtime weather I had grown to expect in Washington. Even though I wasn't much of an outdoor enthusiast, I had enjoyed the sunshine and spending time outside with Edward and was disappointed that our last day was so gloomy.
After making breakfast together, we spent the morning putting the cabin back in order. Not that we had messed things up too badly during our stay, but we did a little bit of laundry and housekeeping so that the next visitors wouldn't have to.
I stood at the window, watching the rain streak down the glass, and felt the same melancholy I had experienced yesterday at the thought of leaving our little slice of paradise. It was almost as if the weather were mirroring my own feelings. I didn't know how I was going to return to seeing Edward only once or twice a week, if we were even that lucky, after having been with him one-hundred percent of the time for the last several days.
I heard quiet footsteps behind me and sighed contentedly when Edward slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me gently against him. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, his fingers absently stroking my forearm as we watched the rain fall outside.
"I love you," Edward whispered softly.
"I love you too," I replied, turning in the circle of his arms so that I could slide mine up and around his neck. I stood on my tiptoes and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. I held back another sigh as I snuggled further into his embrace, pressing my ear against his chest and listening to the reassuring beat of his heart. His hands caressed my back, the touch comforting and soothing rather than sexual.
"C'mon, let's go cuddle and watch a movie," he suggested, and I couldn't think of a more perfect way to spend a rainy afternoon than in his arms. He put in an older suspense movie neither one of us had seen before, and we stretched out next to one another on the couch, our bodies aligned perfectly, our legs entwined as I lay back against Edward's chest and burrowed into his warm embrace.
Edward's fingers played with my hair, gently smoothing and tugging, and I could feel the warmth of his breath as he pressed random affectionate kisses to my neck and shoulder. I tried valiantly to stay awake, but within minutes of the opening credits, I could feel my eyelids getting heavy, and I gave into the siren call of slumber.
I awoke disoriented and alone, shivering despite the blanket that Edward had thoughtfully tucked around me. The television was flickering, and although it wasn't dark out yet, between the continued rain and the passing of time I could tell that evening was approaching. I sat up quickly, annoyed with myself for wasting any of the remaining precious time I had with Edward.
I followed the sound of music and indescribably delicious smells to find Edward in the kitchen, placing a casserole dish in the oven. "Good afternoon, sleeping beauty," he said, his smile warm as he straightened up and saw me standing in the doorway.
"How long did I nap?" I asked, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn as I stretched and raised my hands above my head. I saw Edward's eyes go to the sliver of skin that was exposed at my midriff, and I felt an answering tremor of desire.
"A couple of hours. It's been such a busy couple of days, you obviously needed the rest," he answered with a hint of a smirk. "I wasn't going to let you sleep much longer and miss dinner."
"What are you making?" I asked curiously, intrigued by the smells in the kitchen. We usually ate out on the weekends we spent together, so I figured that, like Jacob, Edward had no idea how to cook. I felt a twinge of guilt for having such a sexist thought. Edward had been single more years that he had been married, it only made sense that he could cook.
"Something special for our last night here," he answered vaguely, lifting the lid on a sauce pan and stirring something, then covering it before I could investigate.
"Can I help?" I inquired. It was such an odd feeling, being taken care of like this. He was going to all this trouble, had gone to all this trouble for our entire vacation, and I hadn't done anything more than help chop vegetables at Marcus and Dee's the other night. I was used to being the one in charge of all the meals, the planning, every small detail. It felt nice being spoiled, which was another reminder that reality was going to hit hard when we returned home.
"Nope, I've got everything under control. If you want to go take a shower and find something to wear, dinner should be ready in about an hour." He crossed the kitchen and slipped his arms around my waist, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"Something to wear…are we dressing up for dinner?" I asked, thinking of the beautiful dress Alice had packed for me.
"If you would like to," Edward replied, tracing my cheek with his fingertip. "I mean, you're beautiful in anything you wear, but I thought we could make this evening memorable."
I smiled at his sentiment. "Everything with you is memorable, Edward. But I agree that dressing for dinner sounds lovely. Shall I meet you back down here in an hour then?" I asked, my mind racing as I planned my appearance.
"Or sooner," he said, leaning down and capturing my lips in a warm kiss, his tongue making a hungry foray into my mouth. He pulled back before I was ready to end the kiss and I felt a shiver run down my spine at the sight of the smoldering fire in his green gaze.
"Sooner," I agreed, feeling dazzled, and debating for a split second whether to try to get Edward to forget dinner and lure him to the bedroom. He shook his head at me with a grin, and I blushed when I realized he knew exactly what I was thinking.
Even though I was in a hurry to get back to Edward, I took extra time with my preparations. The dress Alice had packed was a halter with a very low back in a beautiful shade of lilac, made of a light, gauzy fabric that swished and swayed when I moved. I chose the prettiest, and skimpiest, lingerie I found in my suitcase, including a strapless bra that barely contained my breasts, my heart beating in anticipation of Edward's response to the lacy garments.
Because of the chill in the air from the spring rain, I was grateful for the dark purple cardigan to cover my shoulders, which matched the pointy low heels perfectly. I applied a little heavier makeup than what I usually wore, using shadow and liner to accent my eyes and a deeper shade of lipstick either Alice or Rosalie had slipped into my cosmetic bag. This was certainly the dressiest I had been around Edward since New Year's Eve, and I was looking forward to his reaction.
I took the stairs very slowly, knowing that even in low heels the possibility of me tripping was good. I could hear Edward moving around in the dining room, and I was stunned when I stepped through the doorway. The table was set very elegantly, with beautiful china, crystal, and silver serving pieces. Edward was lighting candles that had been placed around the room, and it was the sight of him that truly left me speechless.
Edward wore a pair of slim fitting black trousers, a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his muscular forearms, and a black skinny tie. The most adorable part of his outfit was a pink frilly apron that read "Kiss the Cook." Edward caught me staring at the apron, and blushed. "Yeah, this is actually Emmett's, and I didn't want to get anything on my shirt, so..."
"Wait, that is Emmett's apron?" I gasped in surprise.
Edward laughed. "Well, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but Rosalie enjoys pulling one over on him from time to time. This was his father's day present from the twins last year, and of course he would do anything for those girls, including wearing the frilliest, girliest apron imaginable."
I pictured Emmett in the pink ruffles and giggled. "Well, far be it from me to ignore Rosalie's instructions," I said, stepping forward and pressing a quick kiss to his pinkened cheek.
"Bella, you are stunning," he breathed, taking my hand and turning me slowly, the skirt of my dress flaring as I twirled. I bit my lower lip self-consciously, the gauzy fabric of the dress clinging more than I was usually comfortable with. But the look in Edward's eyes washed away my insecurities. He tugged me closer, giving me a more proper kiss of greeting, which was interrupted by the kitchen timer.
Edward handed me a remote. "Could you please press play, while I go in and plate our dinner?" he asked.
"Are you sure I can't help?" I asked.
"Yes, you can help by pushing play," he said, winking at me. "And you can pour the wine, if you'd like."
I did as he had instructed, and the music from the living room filtered into the dining room. I recognized one of Edward's favorite bands, and I hummed along with the song as I filled our wine glasses. Edward returned with two plates, setting them on the table, and I was amazed by the meal he had prepared.
There was chicken in a lemon herb sauce, fresh asparagus, and roasted potatoes, and everything smelled absolutely divine. Edward held out my chair with a flourish, and I couldn't help but giggle when he bowed low as I sat down.
Everything was delicious, and it was adorable when Edward blushed as I repeatedly complimented his culinary skills. I was the one blushing when he alluded to his other skills with which I was much more acquainted, leaning over to 'help me' with a bit of sauce I had on my bottom lip. His kiss was playful but thorough, and when he asked if I was ready for dessert I was almost disappointed when he returned from the kitchen with some sponge cake with fresh berries. He admitted he had purchased the dessert rather than making it, but I was still completely impressed with his planning and execution of the meal. The effort he had gone to just reinforced for me how much Edward loved me.
Once we were done with dinner, we worked in companionable silence to clean up the dining room, an unspoken agreement between us that we didn't want to interrupt the rest of our evening with the need for housekeeping chores. We hand-washed the china and serving dishes, leaving them in the rack to dry. As soon as the kitchen and dining room were restored to order, Edward poured us each glasses of wine and we retired to the living room. I sat on the couch and sipped my wine, watching as Edward built a fire in the fireplace to ward of the chill in the air from the rain. I admired the stretch of his slacks across his backside as he moved, my mouth going dry with anticipation of the evening still yet to come.
Edward's iPod was still playing music, and every once in a while I would catch him singing along with the lyrics. I loved the playlist he had put together, a rather eclectic mix of classical, jazz, and some more modern vocal numbers that I recognized from our weekends together.
Once the fire was blazing, Edward came over to me and held out his hand. "Dance with me," he invited. I shook my head, not wanting to demonstrate just how much of a klutz I could truly be. "Please, Bella? I've been dying to hold you in my arms all evening."
"As if you need an excuse," I told him, placing my hand in his and allowing him to pull me up from the couch. "But I'm going to step on your toes," I warned.
"My toes will survive. How about we ditch the shoes anyway?" Edward asked, and I smiled gratefully, stepping out of the low pointy heels. Edward toed off his own dress shoes, and stepped forward to fold me into his arms.
We swayed together in time to the music, not really moving much but only shuffling our feet to the beat. Edward kept one hand on my waist, the other caressing up and down my back. I pressed my cheek to his chest, comforted by the strong beat of his heart beneath my ear as I had been this morning.
The next song that played made me smile. It was 'I Was Broken,' the song Edward sang the night we met. Had it really only been just over six months ago that we had been introduced? So much in my life had changed since then, but I could clearly remember how I had felt before him – lonely, hopeless, and desolate. Now this man that held me in his arms was as important a part of my life as my children. Rather than terrify me as it would have a short while ago, I reveled in the feeling of having him in my life.
"Remember this one?" he asked me.
"As if I could forget the first time we met," I teased him. "I'd never heard this song before, but I swear I felt like you were singing to me that night, Edward."
"I was," he admitted quietly in my ear.
"No you weren't," I scoffed. "You didn't even know me. There's no way you could have chosen that song with me in mind."
"I saw you sitting there with Alice and Rosalie, looking so beautiful and so sad at the same time, and I wanted to give you some hope. I barely had any of my own, but I wanted to find some for you. I was originally going to sing a different song, but as I watched you, I just wanted to reach out to you."
"You were watching me? I don't remember seeing you before you went on the stage," I said, absolutely positive I would have noticed him.
"I, um, kind of hid out at the bar. Emmett told me that you were going to be joining us, and I was mad at what I thought was a setup, even though he and Rosalie denied it."
I laughed. "Yeah, Rose told me it wasn't a setup at the time, and then took credit on New Year's Eve for getting us together."
"Remind me to thank my sister-in-law again," Edward murmured, brushing his lips against my forehead.
"So when you saw me, you felt sorry for me?" I asked, a little disappointed that had been his reaction when I had been wildly attracted to him from the moment I first saw him and heard his voice.
"Well, that wasn't the only reaction I had to you," he said, subtly squeezing my waist and pulling me closer. I could feel the heat and hardness of his arousal against my stomach, and he groaned quietly when I pressed back against him. "Yes, you looked lonely and sad, but you were so beautiful. Sitting next to you, watching you sip your wine, your lips brushing against your glass…listening to the sound of your voice, especially when you said my name…I kept imagining different ways I wanted you to say my name." His grin was naughty when I looked up at him.
"Edward," I growled, sliding my fingers into his hair and pulling him down to me for a kiss. I'd had no idea that he had been as attracted to me that first night as I was to him, and the knowledge made me crave him all the more.
"Yep, that's one of the ways I imagined," he said with his crooked grin, our hips now moving in subtle rhythm against one another. "I love the sound of my name on your lips. The way you say it when you're teasing me," he said, his teeth gently tugged at my bottom lip. "The way you say it when you're exasperated with me," he elaborated, pulling back when I tried to deepen the kiss, smiling when I huffed and frowned at him. "And especially the way you breathe it when you climax," he finished with a groan, opening his lips over mine, our tongues dancing together as our bodies pressed even closer.
"Mmmmm," I sighed, using my fingernails against his scalp the way I knew he liked. I could feel the desire in the air climbing as the music wove its way around us. Edward's mouth left mine when the next song began, his lips tracing gently along the column of my neck. I recognized the song he sang to me in the bar the first weekend we had spent together.
Edward raised his face to look at me, his eyes warm and full of emotion. He rested his forehead against mine, our noses brushing as he softly sang along with the chorus. I cupped his jaw in my palms and brushed my thumbs across his cheekbones.
Edward closed his eyes, humming in obvious contentment as I caressed his face. "I was never so scared in my life as I was to ask you to spend that weekend with me," he confessed.
"I know the feeling. I was terrified to say yes," I reminded him.
"I wanted so badly to tell you how I felt that weekend," Edward said, opening his eyes and looking down at me. When I raised an eyebrow in question, he smiled. "I knew I loved you even then. I was afraid that I was going to slip up and tell you, and that you'd run screaming for the hills."
I shook my head, unable to imagine any situation in which I would voluntarily turn away from Edward. "You were so patient, and understanding, and gentle with me. Most men would expect a thirty-five year old mother of two to know what to do and how to act in a sexual situation. But even when I was falling apart with my insecurities, you were holding me together." I wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on tiptoe to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I have lived without love for so long that it took my daughter pointing it out for me to realize how I felt about you. I fell in love with you even more that weekend, and I hate the thought that we could have already had more time together if I hadn't been so afraid..."
"No regrets, no more wasted time," he interrupted, bringing his lips to mine. It was a slow, gentle kiss, reminiscent of our first kiss as he nibbled and sucked on my lower lip. "I love you, Bella," he whispered, his hands twining in my hair as the kiss switched from chaste to passionate, his mouth soft yet demanding on mine.
The music became background noise as I concentrated on the man in front of me, his sighs, groans and breathy utterances the only sounds I needed to continue with our sensual dance. Edward's hands were everywhere, exploring and eliciting familiar reactions to his touch from my body. Rustling fabric slid over smooth skin as we each sought flesh to caress and tease, our bodies bathed in the firelight as our clothing pooled at our feet. His shirt, my cardigan, his slacks, my dress, all fell away as we bared ourselves to one another.
Edward growled appreciatively at the sheer lace of my undergarments. He slid his hands up from my hips to cup my breasts through the diaphanous fabric, his fingertips drawing maddening circles around my peaked nipples. I gasped when his fingers tugged down on the lace, exposing my skin while keeping the strapless garment in place. He took one aching peak between his lips, sucking for a brief moment before laving it with his tongue, the push and pull driving me mad. He switched to the other breast, treating its twin to the same torture.
I ran my hands from his hips, up his back and over his shoulders to grasp at his hair, my head thrown back as his mouth teased me. I felt him moving, and when my head fell forward I saw him kneeling in front of me, his lips tracing a path down my torso. "You are so gorgeous," Edward groaned, his mouth on my navel as his fingers tugged at the waistband of my panties, baring me to his heated gaze. He slid the lace all the way down my legs and then reached up, grasping my hands and tugging until I was kneeling in front of him. He wrapped his arms around me, bringing our bodies together as his mouth sought mine once again.
I felt a tremor go through me as Edward's hands slid down my back, cupping my ass in his palms and pulling me up against him. I could feel him thick and hard beneath the thin cotton of his boxer briefs, and I reached down to grasp his length in my hand. He moaned and bucked his hips forward, and I suddenly couldn't wait to have his skin on mine.
We never broke our kiss as I tugged his briefs down and he pressed me back against the floor. My legs fell open, creating a cradle for his hips and he lowered his body over mine. I stretched my arms high over my head and arched my back, groaning at the feel of my hardened nipples sliding against his chest. Edward reached behind my back and released the clasp of my bra and tossed it aside, his mouth moving down my throat, to my collarbone, and then again to my breasts. His lips were soft, worshipful against my flesh, as he whispered words of love and adoration.
He raised himself slightly, his fingers traveling a familiar path down my stomach to the juncture of my thighs. I was already wet and aching for him to fill me, and we both groaned loudly when he slid two fingers inside me with no resistance. His thumb flicked against my clit, and my hips rose off the floor as I gasped his name. "Edward, please."
"I need you so badly," Edward moaned, sitting back on his heels and watching me in the firelight as my body responded to his. I watched shamelessly as he rolled a condom on his length and I let out a soft cry when he entered me, his touch so gentle and reverent it brought tears to my eyes.
He leaned down and kissed me as we started to move together, the slow stroking of our bodies creating a thirst in me that only Edward could quench. So much of our lovemaking on this trip had been frantic and needy. We had explored and tested boundaries, doing things that were beyond our norm and outside the realm of what we had and could do at home. It felt so right to have our time away culminate in the way our lovemaking had started so many months ago, tender and exploring, loving and giving.
Edward rolled us over so that I was on top, straddling his hips while he was still buried deep within me. His hands were at my hips, holding me steady as I found my rhythm, guiding but never forcing. Once we were moving together, his hands ghosted over every inch of my body he could reach. Every touch set off additional sparks until my body was thrumming with electricity at his gentle exploration. I returned the caresses, my fingertips exploring his flesh. I had never felt closer to him.
My climax was a slow, almost tortuous build, every nerve ending on fire as he filled me over and over again. His thrusts built in speed, each one deeper than the last. I felt my tears spill forth as my body clenched around his and the emotions he evoked overwhelmed me. The waves of my climax felt unending, and I let out a keening sob as he thrust one last time, his hips lifting me off the floor as he came gasping my name.
I leaned forward and draped my torso over his, our skin slippery with sweat from the heat of the fire and our exertions. I felt the tempo of his thundering heart beneath my breasts, where my own heartbeat answered his in rapid tattoo. He smoothed his hands up and down my back, and I giggled when his fingertips explored my ribs. I turned my head and peppered his jaw line with kisses, burying my nose into his neck and shoulder. "I love you, Edward," I whispered.
He sighed, the sound happy, contented. "And that's my favorite way for you to say my name," he said, his arms tightening around me. "I love you too, beautiful girl."
He rolled us so that I was on my back and he was on his side, propped on his elbow. His fingers traced along my collarbone, circling around my breasts, dipping down to my navel, and tracing back up again. I shivered, more from his touch and gaze than anything else, but he got up and picked up a blanket from the couch, laying it lightly over me before resuming his position beside me, his fingertips now tracing the planes of my face and stroking my hair.
I had never felt more at peace in my life. "I don't want to go home," I admitted, snuggling into Edward's side and using my hand to run my fingers through his hair. "Don't get me wrong, I miss my kids like you wouldn't believe. But I am going to miss this just as much. Going to sleep in your arms. Waking up with you at my side. Knowing that when I wake in the middle of the night, all I need to do is reach out and you're there."
Edward's brow furrowed, and I reached up to smooth the worry lines. "I know Bella, I hate the thought of going back to the way we've been the last several weeks, a dinner date here, a breakfast date there. Never knowing when I'm going to be able to hold you, kiss you…. make love with you," he murmured, taking the opportunity once again to kiss me passionately. Even though we had just gotten done making love, I felt my body respond to him as I wound my arms around his neck, holding him close to me.
Edward sighed heavily, resting his cheek against my breast, the warmth of his breath teasing my nipple as his hand absently stroked my side. I tried to catch his eye, but he appeared far away in thought. I finally cupped his jaw with my palm and gently forced him to look up at me. "Talk to me, baby," I encouraged.
"I just don't want to be without you any more. You said you regret the time we wasted to get to this point, and I don't want there to be any more regrets between us. There is one solution that answers all these issues," he said slowly, his eyes searching mine.
I knew what he wanted, and I had to admit that I wanted it too. But based on our past conversations, and my feelings when I was not in the middle of post-coital bliss, I knew that I would not be able to live with Edward while my children were still living in my house. I knew a lot of people did it – even Jacob and Renesmee had lived together. But it just wasn't me, and I could never be comfortable living that kind of example for my kids.
"As much as I'd love to move in together Edward, I…."
He stopped me by placing a finger against my mouth, then replacing it with his lips. The kiss started slow and began building in intensity, until I had to pull away gasping for breath.
"I don't want to move in together," Edward corrected me, and he smiled nervously when I met his gaze with confusion. He cleared his throat, his cheeks tinting pink as he looked me straight in the eye. "I'm asking you to marry me, Bella."
I hope I can be forgiven for the cliffie :) Next chapter is already under way, and although I hope to post it on time, I ask for a little leeway as I sort through RL things and also make sure that the next chapter is written as it should be.
As always, if there was anything in this chapter that made you smile, laugh, sigh, or even growl in frustration, I would love to hear about it. I promise to spend some of my down time this week answering reviews, including any I get for this chapter :)
Thanks so much for taking the time to read!