A/N: This drabble arc is for the lovely and talented LyricalKris for her birthday. Hope you have a wonderful day, bb (in Alaska...)! The pairing is Edward X Bella this time... (See, I can write canon pairings). Big thanks and smooches to my lovely beta-fish theladyingrey42 for everything.
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Fall
I watch as the moving van pulls away and turn back to face the mountains of boxes in my house.
My house.
This is the start of my new life. My new beginning.
I square my shoulders wondering if I can even do this alone.
But I have no choice now.
I open a box and stare for a moment at the smiling people behind the glass. I trace my finger along her beautiful face and try to stop the sorrow from overwhelming me once again.
A small splash falls on the picture and I return the frame to the box.
Maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day.
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Melt
Tomorrow becomes Monday which becomes a week of ignoring boxes. I've unpacked only the essentials: clothes, dishes... soap.
But the rest I can't open yet. There are books she'll never read, movies she'll never watch. Even though I now have a library with plenty of shelves, I can't bring myself to unpack.
My heart skips a beat when there is a soft knocking on the door. I open it to find curious, wide brown eyes, long brown hair.
"Hi, I'm Bella. Your next door neighbor?"
I don't respond, unsure what to do, but she continues anyway.
"I brought cookies. They're still warm."
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Pull
I shuffle to the side and I watch her swallow hard before she moves into my space, evaluating the still unopened boxes but heading unerringly to the kitchen.
"Your house is similar to mine," she continues although I have yet to speak.
She turns to me when I follow.
"Tea? Or milk if you prefer?"
I pause, trying to figure this woman out, still too shocked to speak.
"To go with the cookies?"
I pull out two wide-mouthed glasses and fill them with milk.
"Thank you..." She looks at me expectantly and I suddenly find my voice.
"Edward."
"Thank you, Edward."
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Quiet
My long time friend, silence, returns when the door closes.
But when I look around, her presence is still here.
Her empty glass, the plate of cookies.
I glance through the window in the study and I see her lights still on, like beacons in the dark.
Why did I let her in after so many months of shutting everyone out?
Why is the first time I speak not out of bare necessity to her?
What is it about her unassuming presence that makes the hurt a little less sharp, my guilt less overpowering?
Even though I can't, I want to see her again.
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Shine
The next weeks are painful as I try a thousand different ways to make myself walk to her house.
Her plate is clean and sitting on my counter. Taunting me.
Finally I resolve to return it and make my way between our houses, the lights blazing from her windows. I knock with purpose and hear her voice call out.
The door flies open and I'm stunned to silence again. She's breath-taking.
I shake my head slightly and hold up the plate. She smiles and invites me in.
I stand unmoving, indecision warring in my head.
I don't deserve a second chance.
Her smile falters. I step inside.
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Lantern
So it begins, neighborly visits, brownies on Tuesday, lemonade on Saturday afternoon.
And her quiet questions.
Where did you come from? What do you do in this sleepy town?
Why haven't you unpacked those boxes?
This unassuming woman, full of sweetness and good can't and shouldn't be darkened by me.
But she continues to shine her light in all the forgotten corners, forcing me to remember. Forcing me to live.
One afternoon I come home to dinner already prepared, books on the shelves, pictures on display.
"You can't keep your past locked away."
Her face blurs through my unshed tears.
"Let me in, Edward."
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Purple
And I do.
I tell her about the woman who I was going to love forever.
I tell her about the fatal crash, her body mangled and crushed, that I identified her bruised and broken body.
I tell her I ran from everything I knew.
But it wasn't enough.
I am still haunted.
"Edward, hiding from your past and her won't make the demons disappear."
I know she's right, but I can't face those memories just yet. "I'm trying," I choke out.
"I know," she whispers before enveloping me in a tight hug, the first human touch I have endured in so long. "I know."
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Cold
When she leaves, the cold night air filtering through the open window feels like a slap against my skin.
All the emotions I keep a tight seal on are slipping out, moving through me unhindered.
Finally, I can feel.
I collapse on the floor, emotions cresting and breaking over me in storm waves.
I am drowning, gasping for air.
Suddenly there is warmth surrounding me and soothing noises, arms holding me together, whispers pleading with me to surface again.
I cling to the security of her, the steadying presence of her heartbeat bringing me back to shore.
"Bella...," I croak.
"Shh, I'm here. I'm not leaving."
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Alone
I find her lonely marker in the sea of granite tombstones. Taking a stuttering breath, I sink to my knees.
"It's okay, Edward. You don't have-"
"No, I do." But I'm silent until I feel a gentle squeeze on my shoulder.
Words just flow from me. I apologize for not being stronger, for not saving her, for not taking her keys, for everything I didn't stop.
The guilt lessens inch by inch with my confessions and Bella's presence behind me.
I stand, feeling a lightness in my chest I never thought I would deserve. I can breathe again.
I am free.
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Rain
Another season has passed, another spring has come. We sit on the porch sipping tea, watching the gentle rainfall.
A year ago today, I moved here looking for an escape from death.
Instead, I found life. Or I should say, she found me.
I pull Bella closer, remembering that night of warm cookies and awkward silences.
She smiles at me, threading our fingers together.
Now as then, her smile pulls me from my self-imposed isolation, her touch warming my soul.
Passionate kisses and the ring in my pocket are my as yet unspoken promises. To give her all of myself, every day of forever.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LYRICALGENIUS! :)