I promise I am still working on Remembering, but I decided to finish up this chapter since I haven't updated it in a while. I hope to update Remembering sometime this weekend, but for now, I hope you enjoy. :)

Chapter 3: Missing You

Jack lay awake for a long time after Kate left. And when he finally did fall asleep, his dreams were filled with haunting images.

A brown wooden coffin, empty except for a pair of white tennis shoes was followed by a hole in the ground that was big enough for a body. Next came Sawyer's face as he jumped from the helicopter, and the look in Kate's eyes at that moment.

Those eyes had once regarded Jack in the same way, but he'd never forget the expression on her face after Sawyer was gone. He still saw the tears that silently fell down her cheeks, and he realized once again that he was Kate's second choice.

The memories he'd tried so hard to bury behind pills and booze were all coming back to him, one after another, and he couldn't make it stop. Even though Jack knew he was dreaming, he couldn't wake up. The only thing he could do was watch as each repressed memory flashed through his mind. Sun screaming at him to go back for Jin, the freighter exploding beneath him, Claire's mother saying he had a sister, turning to see Kate and Aaron, realizing he had a nephew.

Then Kate appeared before him once more, and he knew that whatever was coming next would not be a memory.

She was staring hard at him, and her eyes were cold.

"Why did you leave, Jack?"

If he'd been awake, he would have either demanded to know what she meant or walked away in anger. Instead, all he could do was wait for the scene to play out in his head.

"It's your fault that they're dead. You never should have left. But because you did, you killed them all. And now you've even left Aaron."

Jack knew what Kate wasn't willing to say out loud: he'd left her too.

"You say that I'm the one who needs to stop running, well maybe you should take your own advice," she continued.

He wanted to say something, to tell her it wasn't true, but he couldn't control this dream. So Jack stayed silent and watched Kate, fearful of what her next words would be.

Then he heard a child crying in the distance. He couldn't see who it was, but Kate turned toward the sound and an expression of sadness crossed her face.

"You hear that, Jack? Ever since you left, Aaron's cried himself to sleep every night. You broke his heart. And mine too. We're never going to be able to live normal lives because we'll never be able to get over you."

Kate paused, trying to hold back tears. If Jack had been awake, he'd have been crying as well.

"I have to go now. Aaron needs me – I'm the only person who cares about him now. You lost Claire and, thanks to your lie, we can't even tell his own grandmother about him. He did have you too, Jack. But you couldn't handle the pressure, so you ran away. You think you're a hero, you think you saved us. But you're not a hero. You can't even save yourself."

Jack's heart broke at her words, and it nearly killed him to realize that she was right.

Suddenly Kate was standing right beside him, whispering in his ear.

"I wish I'd never met you, Jack. Then I wouldn't have to miss you." She stared at him sadly for a moment before leaning in and kissing him softly.

Then she began to walk away from him and Jack knew that if he let her go, he would never see her again. He tried calling out to her, but she didn't hear him. As she faded into the distance, he heard Aaron wailing once more and then everything disappeared...

* * * * *

Jack's eyes snapped open and for a moment, he still felt the touch of Kate's lips on his. But when he rolled over and saw the empty room, any hope he'd been feeling quickly faded. The very memory of his dream weighed heavily on his heart.

Hearing footsteps in the hall, he glanced absently out the door. And froze when he saw a pair of white tennis shoes strolling past his doorway.

Almost afraid to look up, Jack forced himself to stare into the face of the person he knew was his father.

And even though he was expecting it, he was still shocked when Christian Shephard's face stared back at him.

"Dad?" he asked, shock and confusion filling his voice. How was it possible that he kept seeing his dead father? Was he so haunted by memories that they were starting to show up in his everyday life?

"Hello son." Christian's reply was short and filled with the cold tone that Jack had become used to after so many years. He looked at Jack with an expression of incredulity.

"What are you doing here?" Jack demanded.

"It's not what I'm doing here that matters. It's what you are doing here. What happened to you, Jack? You had so much promise, but now look where you are..." Christian trailed off, shaking his head in disappointment.

That was the final straw for Jack. He'd just listened to Kate ranting at him, he didn't need this from his father too.

He stood up in anger, stomping out into the hall towards Christian.

"You are dead," he said, emphasizing the last word. "You can't just waltz in here and start insulting me like you haven't been rotting on an Island somewhere for the past three years."

A look of surprise crossed his father's face briefly, but then it was gone, only to be replaced by cool indifference.

"Ah, Jack. I see your time on the Island hasn't changed you one bit. You're still just as stubborn as you were the day you ended my career as a surgeon." There was a trace of bitterness in his tone, but Jack didn't think his father really cared about the past anymore.

"What do you want, Dad?"

"I just don't want to see my only son destroying himself the way I did. You need to move past whatever this is and get on with your life. The Island needs you to be strong."

Jack couldn't help groaning. Of course this was about the Island! It was always something else. His dad didn't care about him, he just needed Jack for whatever \he had planned at the moment.

"You know what, Dad? I'm done with this, okay? You need to leave."

Christian stood there staring at him, but Jack turned away and walked back to his room.

"The dreams won't stop, you know."

Jack stopped at the doorway, refusing to turn around but at the same time needed to know what his father meant. He waited for the older man to continue, the same way he had when he was a kid, knowing this routine off by heart now.

"You're haunted by the people you left behind. That won't go away until you go back for them. We both know that, Jack. So stop pretending to be offended and start thinking about why you're really upset by what I'm telling you."

Jack didn't have the patience to argue, so he played along.

"And why is that?"

Christian looked at him meaningfully, but even though Jack felt his father's stares, he still didn't turn around.

"Because you know it's true, son."

When Jack finally did turn to glare at him, his father was gone and Jack was standing alone in an empty hallway once more.

"Dammit!" he swore angrily, smacking the wall. Then he went back into his room, emerging once more in his normal clothes instead of a hospital gown. For the first time, he was thankful that Kate had thought to leave him a change of clothes before she left.

As he exited his room, one of the hospital staff appeared to check on the patients after Jack's earlier shout. The man saw Jack and ran down the hall towards him.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" he demanded. Jack realized that this man was standing between him and the elevator, blocking the only means of escape.

"Shit," he muttered angrily. His reaction was almost instinctual after so many weeks of being chased on the Island. Except this time he needed to get closer to the enemy instead of farther away.

So he took off in a run, his speed building so he could dash to the elevator before the man could stop him.

Unfortunately his body wasn't well enough for physical exertion at the moment so he found himself tripping before he reached his destination.

His foot caught on an exposed piece of tile and he crashed to the floor, skidding along the linoleum for a short distance. The hospital attendant was getting closer and Jack knew he wouldn't be able to get back up in time. So he did the only other thing he could.

When the man reached him, he stuck out his legs and smiled in grim satisfaction as his pursuer lost his balance as well.

But he wouldn't stay down for long, Jack had learned this from experience, so he looked around desperately for something, anything to help him.

Grabbing on to a plastic food tray resting on a nearby cart, he raised it over the man's head and whacked him with a great deal of force.

"Sorry," Jack whispered before picking himself up and limping to the elevator.

He sighed as the doors dinged shut, thankful to get away from this place. The appearance of his father had really shaken him and he wanted to be far away, in case the old man tried to talk to him once more.

The ride down seemed to take forever and Jack spent most of the time trying to catch his breath. Glancing down at his hands he saw that they were shaking violently. But at least his fever was gone.

Suddenly he was overcome with a sense of unease. Why did he want to leave? What did he have to go back to now? Kate had ended their relationship for good, and all he had left was his drugs and his pity.

If he stepped out the front doors, Jack knew he would only go back to his pathetic, broken lifestyle.

Then another wave of craving coursed through him and he wondered how he would survive like this. Constantly craving something he shouldn't want. But what was the point of trying to change now? No one needed him anymore, at least, that was what he was trying to convince himself.

His father's words rang through his mind. The dreams won't stop. Jack shuddered in disgust.

Those dreams, nightmares really, had haunted him ever since he'd left the Island, although they weren't usually as bad as the one he'd just had.

Clenching his fists in determination, Jack realized that if the dreams weren't going to end on their own, he would have to make them go away.

By the time the elevator had reached the lobby, Jack had formed a plan in his mind. And pushing his shaking fists deep into his pants pockets, he walked out of the hospital and into the darkness of the night.

The sound of the phone ringing woke Kate from a deep sleep. She couldn't remember what her dream had been about now, but she felt vaguely disoriented.

"Yes?" she mumbled as she picked up the phone, not wanting the ringing to wake Aaron.

"Hello, Ms. Austen? This is Dr. Fernbrook. I'm Jack's assigned doctor for the time being."

Kate wondered why he was calling her at this hour.

"Mmm? What is it?" she asked groggily.

"I'm calling to find out if he is at your house right now," the doctor explained. Kate's eyes opened wide.

"No, he's not here. Why would he be? He's at the hospital. I saw him earlier today." She must have misunderstood his question. What would Jack be doing at her house, especially after their conversation earlier...

Her eyes began to tear up just thinking about it. Then she realized the man had been speaking.

"Pardon?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, Ms. Austen, but Jack is gone."