Notes: First off, I'd like to give major thanks to my beta, Alex, who went through so much hell editing this chapter it's not even funny. And two, look! Not dead! I've written ahead, so I'm about five/six chapters ahead of this one, and I plan on finishing this one, so don't worry about me dropping off the face of the planet or something. And three, THANK YOU, REVIEWERS, READERS, AND EVERYONE WHO HAS THIS ON THEIR ALERT/FAVOURITE LIST. :) You guys make my day so much better knowing that people are still interested in this and even decided to look at my other work. Also, I'm working on archiving my other stories on livejournal, in case something should happen to this site or the stuff on my comp (heaven forbid).

Blackbird

Chapter 2: Out

At night, Kurt sat awake in his bed. He would have been asleep, but, at the moment, for some reason he was just too wired. Kurt sighed and climbed out of bed; there had to be a better way to get rid of all of his extra energy.

The gym had practically been his best friend when he first came to the institute. On those few nights before he was enrolled in school, he would always workout to the point where he would pass out. The only thing so unappealing about the gym was its clock. There was a clock right above the exit of the gym that ticked loudly. It was the only traditional clock in the mansion (that Kurt knew of) and the ticking just annoyed him. He used to port the clock out into some different location, and sometimes he would even destroy it, but it somehow always found its way back to its place right above the exit of the gym.

Kurt ported in front of the gym with something of a nostalgic smile on his face. He hadn't been inside the gym in such a long time. To his credit, the gym was a cakewalk compared to the sessions run by Logan that he had been taking lately.

He entered the gym with a smile; the place had Logan's scent all over it.

"Herr Logan would be the only one to workout here, wouldn't he?"

He started with warm up stretches. Those stretches turned into weird contortionist movements. It wasn't something he did often, especially in front of people. Not now anyway. He remembered those days in the circus, when he was cheered on for these acts. The stretches brought him back, and Kurt smiled. They were probably the warmest memories he had of Germany before everything went sour.

Kurt started hitting the punching bag as his memories turned dark. He honestly was happy living with the people at the circus, and his parents as well. They were, after all, his family. There was nothing he wouldn't do for them. Well, except one thing.

He started hitting harder. The people there were never as accepting as his family. Really, he should have known that from the start. The people... they loved to provoke him. Rude words and slurs when their backs were turned (though it was pointless, it all came back to him in the end), the alienation, the abuse. But he should have seen it coming, right from the very start. A person with an appearance like his would never be accepted, not in the way he hope he would. It was the one reason why Kurt wasn't surprised when the town blamed him for what happened to the children and his brother's death.

Kurt frowned hitting the bag harder. He did kill his brother. If Xavier hadn't saved him then, if he had stayed there any longer, he would have suffered execution. But the Professor didn't know what happened on that day. He didn't think so. His parents understood though. What really happened, and they defended him. He didn't know how he would ever repay those three. He voiced those concerns, too, but they all gave him the same response.

"Just be good, Kurt. Use the opportunities given to you to do good."

Kurt promised that he would. And, besides a few slip-ups, he kept his promise. The pranks didn't count, not in his mind anyway. Suddenly, Kurt was reminded of Evan, his partner-in-crime. Lord, Kurt missed him. He was hurt when Evan left the first time, and hurt even more when he didn't stay for the celebration after Apocalypse, but Kurt understood what his best friend was going through. Still, without Evan and with Scott having Jean, Kurt was alone now. He didn't know how Logan dealt with that; Kurt was going a bit crazy without a confidant.

He punched harder, using his frustrations as a source of energy now. Sweat was making his fur damp and Kurt knew he had to quit soon; the skin on his knuckles were tearing a bit. Still, Kurt pushed on. He was almost at the point where he would tire out. The adrenaline passed and Kurt was just going on emotion, trying to make his muscles sore to the point where he didn't have to think about his past back in Germany and his future in America. Sore to the point where he didn't have to think.

The skin tore, and Kurt knew he was bleeding now. Still, he punched. His mind was going back to that day. He came here to forget, he needed to forget.

And then Kurt kind of blanked.

His body kept pushing but his mind, it was blissfully empty. He didn't think about Germany, or America, or about the fact that he had school to attend to. He was simply focused on the pain surging from his fists, and the sound of him pounding the punching bag. He continued for a few minutes before he stopped. He grinned a bit, tired but feeling like himself again. His hair was now matted to his head, he was still sweating and now he was panting.

The clock's ticks were in time with his breaths.

OoOoO

Kurt was sure he would be tired when he went to his classes the next day, but he wasn't. He really didn't know where this new found energy was coming from but he wasn't going to saying no to it. He sat through his classes, acted normal and chose to walk home this time.

As he left the school grounds, he could see Kitty running up to Lance's jeep, all smiles. He paused for a moment, watching as Lance met Kitty mid run and did a little spin-hug. Then Kurt remembered that Kitty had been grounded the previous week. Of course. The couple needed physical contact as well, didn't they? They shared a kiss and stood there talking for a while. Kurt didn't miss the loving smiles on their faces. He sighed, envious, but then he smiled.

"As long as you're happy, Katzchen," he muttered, and continued his trek.

Lance and Kitty had gotten together during that party celebrating the "death" of Apocalypse. Slowly they tried to build on that very small amount of trust. And slowly, that trust was growing. But as their relationship grew, Kurt's dwindled.

Amanda's family had to move due to the growing anti-mutant sentiments. Her parents feared that since she was (sort of) publicly dating a mutant, that someone would come after her. Kurt understood her parents' worries and didn't protest to her moving. That was mostly because he still thought he would be dating Amanda. He could do long distance. He could do any distance as long as Amanda wanted. Sadly, she didn't.

"The distance will kill us," she had said.

Who knows, maybe she was right. It still hurt that she didn't want to try to make it work.

Today was warm and sunny. It was one of those days that reminded Kurt of summer, even though he knew full well it was the beginning of fall. If the changing leaves weren't any indication, the teacher's saying "welcome back to school" constantly for the whole week was. As if this school was welcoming.

Kurt checked his watch, he had enough time to walk home without getting in trouble. Logan was assigning more danger room sessions, and Kurt was on the roster today. Kurt looked at his hand with something of a curious look. Technology was fascinating. He opened his palm and then clenched it back into a fist. The pain was still there, but the watch hid everything; the bruises, the fur, the skin. Everything.

Kurt smiled and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He had cleaned up his mess before he left, so he hoped that he wouldn't be questioned about it later. There it was again, that familiar pain of loneliness. Of course nobody would question him on it. They had lives of their own. They didn't need to worry about him. Kurt frowned a bit. That was what he wanted though, wasn't it? To have people leave him alone?

"Das ist Banane!" He shook his head. But his frowned deepened.

Maybe he was the one who was crazy. Which would explain him thinking of crazy things.

"But it doesn't just come out of nowhere," he muttered to himself, looking down now. Where would it even come from, this craziness?

He wanted to blame it on his meeting with the Scarlet Witch. She was crazy, wasn't she? But that would be simply unreasonable. And stupid. Her powers weren't like that. So maybe he was crazy from the very beginning, and he was just noticing it now. Kurt shook his head and looked up. He was almost at the institute. He remembered Evan telling him something about craziness once.

"Best way to tell if a person is crazy is to ask him if he's crazy. If he's like 'yeah, dude! Of course I am!' then he's lying. Because he's sane enough to know what crazy is. The dude who says 'no' is the crazy one. Because a crazy person still thinks he's sane. He doesn't know what crazy is, man. He thinks he's normal. That's how you know if a person is crazy."

So, if Kurt when by Evan's logic, he wasn't crazy, just paranoid. Of course, paranoia could be a sign of insanity as well. They gave people medication for that kind of stuff.

Kurt sighed.

No, he wasn't crazy.

OoOoO

"Barking dogs don't bite," Kurt taunted Logan from above him. Jean was hiding behind one of the crates, trying to make her way to the goal. Wolverine gave Nightcrawler something of a feral grin. It took a lot to hide how much that grin bothered him.

"Good thing I ain't no dog, huh?" And then Logan leaped up and grabbed Kurt. At the same time, Jean flew over to grab the target.

Wolverine had a good grip on his slightly wounded hand. Kurt bit back the groan in pain, but he couldn't hide the full on grimace. Wolverine's grin grew wider and he tugged down, bringing Kurt down to the ground. Before Kurt could even register the feeling of his body hitting dirt, Wolverine threw him at Jean. He landed right on Jean and they both ended up a good few feet away from their target. Kurt groaned and rolled off Jean.

"I thought you couldn't catch telepaths off guard," he muttered to Jean.

"I thought you said you could handle him," Jean shot back, trying to concentrate on levitating the target to her. Wolverine caught on to her plan and started to charge for them.

"I was lying," he said, eyes widening a bit, "you knew that!"

He 'ported onto Logan's back before Jean could respond to him, then 'ported them away from Jean and the target a few times over, leading away from the two. Logan's healing factor would probably help with recovering from the travel, so Kurt decided to 'port up. He was a few feet above the ground before he 'ported again. Then again, then again. Finally, they were high enough for Kurt to try his next move. He jumped off Wolverine then landed a good hit on his back, aiming for a pressure point and using gravity to strengthen the hit. Wolverine could heal from almost anything physical, so Kurt could go as hard as he could on him.

Kurt landed a few more hits on Wolverine as they fell and, when they hit the ground, Kurt 'ported again, far away from Wolverine. He tried to catch his breath as leaned against a building. There was that sickening feeling of vertigo that he usually got from using his powers like that. He took a deep breath. Ugh, he was going to puke.

Soon enough, the simulation ended and Kurt found himself on the floor now. He heard footfalls from his left and opened his eyes to see Logan standing over him, a bit peeved. Kurt gave him something of a sheepish grin.

"Did we win," he asked. Logan shook his head with a grunt.

"Was?" He sat up with a frown. Logan pointed behind him to Jean who was sitting there with a very haunted expression on her face. Kurt's tale wagged a bit faster.

Slowly he stood up. At the same time, Scott and Kitty came in, both with worried expressions on their faces.

"Jean?" Scott crouched down to give Jean a good look. Kurt frowned once he saw her face clearly.

"Her eyes," Kitty whispered. They were black.

"Jean?" Scott tried again, his voice taking a panicked edge to it. "Jean!"

Then Jean blinked, and looked at Scott, confused as ever. Her eyes were their normal green again.

"What?"

Scott looked over at them for help, not knowing what to say. All the teens looked over at Logan, who held a grim expression now. Kurt felt like Logan knew exactly what was going on.

"I think you need to see the Professor," he said. She still looked confused, but she let Scott lead her out.

Suddenly, all of Kurt's problems felt really small.

OoOoO

That night, Kurt felt feverish. His body was heating up to unbearable levels and he still couldn't find a way to sleep. He tried working out to exhaust himself, like he did the day before, but after the work out he felt dizzy. At first, Kurt thought that the method was working and that he was getting tired. But as he was leaning against the outside of his bedroom door, he realized that something was wrong. He was still sweating.

"Professor," Kurt mentally called out, "Professor!"

"What is it, Kurt?" Came the reply, sounding a bit concerned.

Kurt tried to reply back but the words didn't seem to come up. Kurt slid down the door, hugging himself as he started to panic. There was something very wrong going on. The heat seemed to be increasing but now Kurt was getting the chills. He looked at the closed doors in front of him. Honestly, he couldn't be the only one experiencing this!

Slowly, Kurt's vision started to fade. The last thing Kurt remembered seeing was someone rushing over to him. Really, he did try to listen when the Professor told him to stay awake, but he couldn't.

Kurt blacked out.

OoOoO

At first, Jean was confused. She was suddenly standing a huge white room. At least, she thought it was a room. There was portraits hanging all around her. Upon closer inspection, Jean saw that the portraits were moving. Each portrait was housed within a different frame; warm colors for happy-looking portraits, darker colors for the not-so-happy looking portraits. Then Jean got it. She was in someone's mind.

She looked around, wondering why she was here. Then she remembered. She was answering a distress call. She must have gone to the source of the problem to see what was wrong. She understood now. Except she didn't. Her powers didn't do that. She didn't do that.

There were four portraits that stood in the middle of the room, covered by veils and held in clear containers, floating. Jean stared at it curiously. They were repressed memories. Whose repressed memories?

"Oh, Jean. What are you doing here?"

She turned around surprised and saw Kurt. He had his head tilted at her and he was smiling. He was wearing a white button up dress shirt and black slacks. Jean looked down to see that she was wearing a silky black top and skirt. Both of them were barefoot. Jean looked back to Kurt. Strange mind.

"You... you sent a distress call," Jean said, "You were asking for help?"

Kurt looked confused for a moment before he walk past her to start straightening the frames. Kurt nodded his head, though.

"I think I did."

"Why?"

Both of his hands paused at the bottom of one frame as he tried to remember. Behind him, a new portrait appeared.

"Hot," he said, "I couldn't breathe. It was so hot."

The picture whirled in colors before it turned black. Kurt gave Jean a smile.

"I'm sure I will remember it later," he assured her. Then he continued walking again, heading to the four portraits in the center. Jean followed.

"Are you okay?" She was eying the clear containers with a wary expression. Two of them were cracked.

"Yes," Kurt answered, "I believe so. How're you?"

"I..." She didn't know. Jean frowned. She suddenly felt like something was wrong as well.

Kurt turned to her and gave her another grin. This time, it was almost knowing. He laid the back of his hand on her forehead.

"You are burning up," he noted. Maybe he was right, his hand felt so cold.

"I wonder what Scott's doing right now," Kurt said absently as he pulled his hand away. Jean frowned, then tried to reach out to her boyfriend telepathically. No response.

"You know," Kurt whispered with a teasing smile "I think you might need some help, too."

He was right, again. Because this didn't happen. And she didn't know what to do.

"I'm lost, Kurt," Jean admitted, "I was trying to help... and now I'm lost."

Kurt frowned and laid a hand on her shoulder. The feeling of his hand didn't register, but the emotions of peace he wanted to send her did. Jean blinked a few times.

"I wish I could help you," he told her, "but I'm just as lost."

Jean met Kurt's gaze and they seemed to have come to something of an understanding. On her right, another portrait appeared.

"I have to go," she told him. And Kurt nodded.

"Visit again, okay?" Jean nodded in reply.

Something told her that this may be the last time she would ever see Kurt so calm.