This was supposed to be posted days ago but ff was being difficult again and was not letting anyone login.

Warning! Lots of POV changes.

Disclaimer: Is Anthony Horowitz a 13, nearly 14, year old girl? No? Then I guess I don't own Alex Rider.

2004

2 years.

He wished he could say time had flown by. He was many things but a liar he was not. He wished he could say things had gotten better. But they hadn't. Sometimes he wondered. Why didn't he try harder to stop them or runaway?

Where would he go?

Everybody he knew was either dead or unreachable. Tom was out of the question, he hadn't wanted to endanger the life of the person closest to him.

Would he still be wondering where he was or had he moved on?

He had hoped the latter. If Tom had tried to find him; he could pretty much guarantee that the younger boy was dead.

He laughed a cold bitter laugh. That's what they had turned him into now. Not that it had taken much effort. His life had been already over. He had just needed for somebody to pull that last straw. Sometimes he wondered how they slept at night. Did they regret what they did? Did they sleep at all? He laughed again. Two now, he hadn't laughed this much since the third month here. That's when it had sunk in.

He was never going back.

He was a man of many laughs and jokes. He had joined the SAS when he was 23. At first it had been a dream come true. It had all been about protecting his country; about making his mother proud.

Then it had happened.

He was excited at first. He had thought he was ready. He could take anything. But in the end nothing could have prepared him for what happened. Blood...so much blood. Screams...then...

Silence

As if somebody had pressed the mute button. Life had seemed dull and lifeless after his first frontline mission. He had seen it wasn't all fun and games. This was serious.

This was life.

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet

And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

It's smelly and hot and you're dying for some fresh air. The bus is cramped and stuffy. You'd think you would be used to it by now but you aren't. You turn the volume up louder, the music now blasting at full volume. You ignore the person next to you. In fact, you ignore everybody. It hasn't been the same since he left.

It was never going to be.

They tumble out and you look at them in disgust. They were never going to last long. You grimace; your unit had gotten babysitting duty, again. You look at your unwanted 5th team member. He stands their legs bent slightly at shoulders width apart. He's body was tense, eyes casting and accessing. He was ready to spring into action at any sign of danger. You grimace again. Even though he's never told you, you know he's 17 or 18. He was too young to in your eyes but old enough in theirs. You feel a mixture of anger and hatred. There's a reason you get up in the morning. There's a reason you fight. You fight for your country.

For revenge.

For your family and friends.

For a better future.

But most of all; you fight for those who have no one to fight for them.

I have no idea where this story is going and if/when I'm going to finish it. The chapters will be short and slow coming, so please be patient. My school is closing for Easter next week so I should be able to finish and post chapter 5 somewhere during the holidays.

P.S – as you can see I have changed my username again *sheepish smile* this is the last time... I swear!