A/N Yeah. This is a long authors note I know. But there are some things that I have to explain here.
Ok. I know this story is probably a bit different than what you are used to. We actually have a smart Anakin. OMG! The world is coming to an end. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm tired of reading about fanfictions where they make Anakin out to be just some stupid whiny petty teenager. He is a lot smarter than that. And I just thought I'd let the reader know how smart he actually is, from my perspective.
With that said, I would like to say a shout out to a fellow fanfictioneer. Thank you for pointing this out to me. I won't name names just encase you are uncomfortable but you know who you are and thank you. Because it could be confusing to my readers if they didn't understand.
This story is written all from Anakin Skywalker's perspective and I am not planning to switch to Obiwan's pov at all. This story is set in Anakin's pov only. It would be a great shock to me if this story switches pov's but IF it switches, I will put something up at the top that says Obiwan's pov to avoid confusion. And I will put it in really bold really big letters. But for now, I'm gonna let you stay inside Anakin's head for this. Hope you enjoy this chapter. I will post another one Monday.
Thanks so those who reviewed. Let's see if you can do it again. Lol! Read and review.
I crawled through the small hole in the hut, the one I had made years ago. It held a creepy familiarity, I thought as I crawled through the hole in the hut. The whole I had made years ago.
It was almost like nothing had changed.
There was still a fire roaring. The walls were still made of dried dirt. The floor was still made of dried ground. I knew that ground, having rolled around on it when I got into fist fights here as a boy. And the ground was coarse. Rough. Sure to be a reminder of only her aching skin. And than there was the post. The one that they tied their victims to. The post was the only thing that was different.
Instead of strong wood, it was made of a heavy nearly immovable metal. If Ahsoka had tried to escape, the metal would have crushed her and left her in even worse condition. Instead of ropes biding the poor girls hands, they were force bonds. Completely impossible for a Jedi to escape from without the help of another Jedi. Her feet were bound with the same contraptions as well.
It was so similar. Yet so different. So similar because it was the same place. So similar because it was the same look. So different. So different because there were different enemies. So different because the original inhabitants of this cold void were dead. So different because it was a different person I was coming here to save. But she meant just as much, if not more.
I took off my cloak and placed it on the ground. I released her from the force bonds and lifted her with the force because I didn't want to hurt her sensitive skin. She had bed sores all over her body. I laid her gently down on top of my cloak with the force, hoping she was comfortable.
At the temple, they warned us that we would possibly see horrid things on our missions or things that required a strong stomach. Each Jedi I was required to take forensics, which I passed with flying colors. But I have never been so thankful that I took all those healing classes.
I made the mistake of looking closer at my apprentice. I was nastily shocked. I didn't want see how her orange skin had gone white, or how her horns had shrunk. I didn't want to see that almost everything that was her, was broken. She was missing a finger. Both her ankles were permanently twisted. One of her arms were missing. One of her tails had been sliced in half. I didn't want to see these things...because it was all such a cruel tease to my pain. Mostly...
Because I could still see her, bruised, beaten, and broken as she was. I could still see that fighting spirit, barely there. I could see the beauty she harbored even through her bloodshot eyes. I could still see her soul, laying dormant in a half-dead body.
Or maybe it was just a faint trace of a shadow in my mind that was her.
No!
I reached out through the force and touched our bond. No wonder I couldn't feel it before. It was so weak! I was so thankful she was holding on. She had to. I watched as her eyes began to flutter. She was waking up!
I could save her. I knew I could. The hope that she would be saved blossomed in me once more. I would not fail her like I failed my mother. I was going to save her. I knew how to use the force for healing this time and I called it to me once again, like a faithful dog that comes at it's masters beck and call. And like an old and loyal friend, it came to me.
I ran a diagnostic. Her heartbeat was weak, too weak to last for much longer. She had been taken many times, she had been beaten and whipped. They had broken her bones. Broken her spirit. But all that must have happened months ago because now all she bore were scars. Her bones were permanently set in their awkward sickening angles. She was weak with fatigue and hunger. Her body skeletally thin. There were sores all over her body from being kept still too long and she looked more or less like a string.
And suddenly, I knew. For the first time I knew. This was not about failing. This wasn't even about keeping her alive. I knew she had to die. I could feel the force telling me to let her go.
I didn't want to. I wanted to keep her beautiful spirit with me. And for the first time, I really looked at her.
I didn't look at how her bloodshot green eyes were more or less dead. I did not think about how they looked as if they had not been opened in a long time. The only thing I saw was Ahsoka. How she used to be. Two left feet, clumsiness, stealth, humor, and all. My girl.
I could tell from her eyes that she was in pain. She had no strength left with which to heal herself. I had to be strong. I had to be fearless. The hero with no fear. A small voice called to me from the ever pressing darkness.
"Master?"
Her voice was more or less a croak. Not that fiery beautiful tinkling of a young girl. It sounded like she hadn't used her voice in months. It was just as beaten and broken as her body, as her spirit. She needed to be released from this agony.
I could heal her if I wanted to I knew. But that would only cause her a new agony. No one would be able to heal these wounds. It would months upon months of rehabilitation. Than, after that, she would have to play catch up and she would be so much older than the others. Eventually, the masters would get annoyed at the situation. Than there would be a whole bunch of tension for the rest of her life. Or, the council would just do their best to find her a place in the galaxy when really, her place was as a Jedi.
I couldn't condemn her to a life of torture. I wouldn't! But what I would do is heal her from the horrible pain she was in. I poured waves of the force through her body. I numbed her body to all sensation except my touch. I would not have her feeling uncomfortable. I sent feelings of peace to her through the force and I regulated her declining breathing while still giving her the feeling that she was breathing in at a regular rate. She would die in absolute peace. That much I would make sure of.
"Master, when I leave, you have to let me go."
I don't think I've cried since I was a boy. But now I felt tears spring to my eyes. "I can't Ahsoka. I just can't. You have to live! In some way, some form, you have to live."
"I will live master. With the force. I can feel it so clearly. Master," she wiped the tears away from my eyes. "I am broken, master. Father. My soul is broken. My body is broken. You have to let me go."
"No! I will save you. At least in a force form. I'll-"
"It's ok. You don't have to protect me anymore. You can let me go. It's my time. I can feel the force calling to me."
"But I'm..."
"Afraid? Master, no one is without fear. It's what we do in the face of fear...that makes us who we are. I can feel the force calling. I have to go."
"I love you, daughter."
She smiled and there were tears in her eyes. "F-father. I-I love...you."
Her body went limp. What little life was there, left in that one moment. I could literally feel her joining the force in peace and happiness. She was happy there. And I felt joy. But... but she was dead here. On this planet. In this galaxy. She was gone.
I would not hear her voice telling me to wake up. I would not feel her gentle kiss on my cheek in the morning and her arms wrapping around me in the gentle gesture of a hug. I would never hear the door slam open as she jumped on my bed in her excitement to start a new day.
I had seen all her quirks. Knew all the things she liked and hated. Knew that she preferred to sleep with her hands under her head on the side turned to the left. Now, it would make no difference.
She had become as close as a daughter to me and now I would never see her again.
I placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. She was still relaxed...for the moment. I didn't run my fingers across her eyes. I couldn't bear to close them. I couldn't bear to see the color leave them.
I took off my cloak and wrapped her in it. Just as I would have done if she were...
No. It was because I didn't want her to get cold. I would wrap her up to keep her warm. She was just simply asleep...with her beautiful green eyes open. I could almost feel her snuggle against me again. Just as she did when I would carry her to her room.
I put her on the back of my bike and wrapped her more snuggly in my cloak. I let her lay down flat. I'd never seen her so tired. She must really be sleepy. I rode away into the burning blazing sunset or Tatooines twin suns, small tears of sorrow leaking out of my eyes. She was alive. I didn't care what I'd witnessed. She was alive.
A/N So guys, what did you think? Good Boring stupid you don't care what? Tell me. I'm just dying to know. Lol! No seriously. And if you have any comments or anything you would like me to change or do different, please ask. If you want me to post the next chapter on Monday than you know what you have to do. Read and review.