Christmas baubles and mistletoe decorated the ceiling of the Great Hall in preparation for the approaching Yule Ball. Ooga Snape could be seen wearing his best bottom-less robes throughout mealtimes. He hoped his rump would appear as tantalizing as the 3 bagels on Salina's plate.
Salina immediately lost her appetite. Paras didn't.
"um, what are you doing?" Rishi asked Paras. Paras was waving his wand at the mistletoe, trying to maneavour it between himself and Ooga Snape.
Alas, the fumes from Ooga Snape's rear caused the mistletoe to wilt and fall into Ian's porridge. Unfortunately, he did not notice, and smacked his lips at the decadent choice of herb.
Ian happily took a bite. Then fainted.
At the Hufflepuff table, Jill, Salina, Katie and Izzah were chatting happily about the upcoming Ball. They were all going to wear the army outfits found in various 4minute videos.
"I heard it's going to be a Masquerade!" Jill exclaimed happily. "I think I'll wear aviators!"
Paras listened in. He knew his darling Oogabear had a thing for Jill, and was going to dress up just like her.
"Oh my gosh, I'm going to make my mask out of moth skins!" said Salina creepily. "It's going to represent the lament my soul feels whenever I realize my lackluster desire for more simple carbohydrates."
"Ew, Salina what the heck? I'm going to make mine out of nachos that realistically drip cheese all night," Izzah chimed in.
Katie sighed. "Um, you guys. Shouldn't you be more worried about who your DATES are going to be?" She had developed a rapid bipolar disorder and suddenly smiled serenely. They all knew she had been planning her mask for months. It was a sequenced Venetian mask with adequate space for neck swerving.
Izzah looked confused. "I was talking about my date."
"You already have a date?" Jill started getting nervous.
Salina anxiously brewed 10 cups of coffee. "I don't. But hopefully after this bootcamp I will." she immediately sprang to her feet and began to do lunges down the side of the Hufflepuff table.
"I knew we bought these army outfits for a reason," Jill said smartly.
Draco Malfoy looked up from his Oatie Oats and his jaw dropped. He didn't know who this beautiful girl was at the Hufflepuff table, but he wanted to ask her to the Yule Ball.
Ron Weasley sulked at the table beside them and held up his outfit for the ball. His army booty shorts and tank were maroon. "Mum knitted mine"
The Great Hall lights dimmed. Katie stood up on the Ravenclaw table and began singing Chinese karaoke. Everyone stared in awe.
Ron Weasley sulked at the Gryffindor table still. "Mum won't let me sing karaoke."
A howler landed in front of Ron. His mother's voice boomed out in the Great Hall. "REMEMBER TO PICK ME UP AT 8 FOR THE BALL, DEAR"
"Oh look! The mail's here!" Jill grinned, holding open her arms. She did not expect the great volume of banana scented stationary to fall in her lap.
"Love letters?" Salina chirped excitedly, magically shaving her legs and drying her hair with a wave of her wand. Izzah looked confused.
Jill quizzically looked over to make sure Salina hadn't turned into a well-groomed canary. "Oh no... It's from Ooga Snape. He wants me to meet him in the dungeons tonight for salsa lessons."
"Oh my gosh! Jill! You're going to the Yule Ball with salsa? We should sooo double date!" Izzah was grinning from ear to ear to ear.
Katie and Salina shared a look. That sounded suspicious. "We'll come with you." Katie said protectively. "Salina needs to collect some moths for her mask tonight anyway"
"And an eye of newt" Salina added nonchalantly.
"Katie, who are you going with? You're a Triwizard champion... Your soymilkshake brings all the chopsticks to the yard, I would know." Izzah said thoughtfully, patting her bowl of nachos fondly.
"It's true," Katie said solemnly. "You know what's weird? Paras asked me to teach him, but I had to charge."
Paras, still listening, knew where he was going to be tonight. In the dungeons with Ooga Snape. And Jill wasn't going to get in the way.
OOGA SNAPE OOGA SNAPE OOGA SNAPE OOGA SNAPE OOGA SNAPE
In their common room, Rishi tucked away his Fanfic collection under his bed after choosing his favourite: Seeking Ginny. He glanced at Paras curiously.
Paras was pulling on a black skintight spandex outfit, as well as a ski-mask.
"Yo Paras, wanna read Seeking Ginny with me? Or how about Harry Potter and the Runespoor Shield?" Rishi asked while trying to hide his concern for his friend's choice of attire.
Paras clapped his hands together. "Seeking Ginny? That's my favourite!" But remembering his task, shook his head determinedly. "Sorry bro. I have a mission-"
Rishi backed away as Paras jumped to the middle of the dormitory floor, Katie's karaoke machine in his hand.
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"
Paul looked up from his computer. "Yooo, guys do you mind keepin' it on the dizzle down for a wee boppin bee bit? I'm updating my tumblog and I need to keep my brain away from your respecting cause you'te totes disrespectin' on my search for gold just like a marshmallow lookin' for his graham cracka, gnome sayin?"
Translation: Paul was looking for materials to make his Aretha Franklin mask out of.
"uh sure," Rishi took a bite of his cheese covered broccoli with potato on the side. To wash it all down, he gulped his cheese covered water enthusiastically. He was trying to eat healthier, in order to woo Jill, who he was hoping to ask to the Yule Ball.
Paras crept out of the room as they were both distracted. He crept along hallways and made his way down to the dungeons, unseen.
Rishi saw him.
OOGA OOGA OOGA SNAPE OOGA OOGA OOGA SNAPE OOGA OOGA OOGA SNAPE
"Why did Ooga Snape invite me for salsa lessons?" Jill wondered out loud in the Hufflepuff common room.
Katie analyzed the situation. Izzah had an idea, "do you think he wants to help me complete my mask"
"Izzah, I thought you said nachos were your date." Salina said whilst gluing moths to her face
Izzah looked confused. "No, I'm going with Winston..."
"Who?" the other three chorused in unison.
"Winston ... that moth above Salina's nostril"
...
"Um. What happens if Winston wants to kiss you?"
Salina's eyes widened. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION FOR ONCE?" Katie yelled, surprising everyone in the room.
"Because Izzah's here..."
Izzah nodded in agreement
Katie sighed. She wanted to get back to her Ravenclaw common room, but first they needed to deal with the issue at hand.
"Actually, now that I think about it, Winston is the moth next to Salina's eyebrow..." Izzah said with a pained look of confusion on her face.
Salina looked mildly relieved.
The clock chimed at 6:53:34PM signaling that Ooga Snape was probably waiting for Jill by now. They looked at her expectantly.
"You know, I think I'm just gonna stay here tonight. I don't fancy myself being around Ooga Snape more than is necessary," Jill groaned.
"What if we could use this to our advantage?" Salina said, now finally finished gluing the moths onto her face into a full, layered mask.
"...You know the Yule Ball isn't for another week..." Izzah said uncertainly.
Salina blinked at Izzah. "I know."
"You're right..." Jill nodded eagerly. "I see where you're going with this. I could use Salsa lessons to distract myself from Brit's pregnancy."
Katie frowned. Izzah looked confused. No one could see Salina's face.
Katie's eyes got wide. "Wait, Jill. What if you could, er, persuade Ooga Snape into giving you some details about the tasks! I mean, we all know he'll do anything for you..."
"What. Persuade? How? He just wants my bananas."
Izzah looked confused.
Salina grinned, "Yeah! Hey, we better get there before Paras does! After that lipgloss incident, I don't even want to know what he'll try next!" Thanks to the flapping moth wings on Salina's face, she was now hovering ten inches off the floor.
"Salina, isn't the whole point in a mask to make it so that no one recognizes you. If you wear it now, everyone will know who you are at the ball."
Izzah suddenly screamed. "WHO'S THAT?" She cried, pointing at Salina.
Katie grabbed Jill by the arm and pulled her out of the portrait hole, eager to get away from Hufflepuff's Triwizard champion. Salina hovered after them, leaving Izzah looking confused at their sudden departure.
They turned the last corner, Katie leading the way to the dungeons, only to stumble into Izzah.
"Where did you come from?"
Izzah looked confused. "I was trying to get to our dormitory."
Jill and Salina exchanged a look. "You were in our dormitory."
Katie, exasperated, pointed to the middle of the dungeons corridor. Ooga Snape was waiting, wearing a sailor's hat. His fingernails looked newly polished, and shone beneath the glittering disco ball above.
Jill cried.