A/N- Oh my God. You guys give the best birthday presents! I almost got a hundred reviews for my last chapter! I literally had to rub my eyes to make sure I was reading the numbers correctly! I'm so honored that everyone is enjoying the story and leaving such kind and helpful feedback. I know I was kind of an update fail but real life got in the way of things. Also, I was going to post this chapter late Sunday night but I ended up losing the file and had to relocate it and open it as a Notepad document or something and then fix all the apostrophes that were deleted. *Sigh*

Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter because writing/rewriting it was a pain in the ass!

PS: This chapter contains some dark material. You have been warned!

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When I woke up my eyes were sore and red. My face was tucked into a hard pillow, which I then soon discovered was Eric's chest. I untangled myself from the vampire that was acting as my teddy bear and realized that I had to pee. I glanced at the vamp and he appeared to be dead to the world. I stumbled out of bed and into the adjoining bathroom.

My body was weak and my legs felt like jell-o. The past few hours had destroyed me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was a mess.

After I had taken care of my basic human needs, I snuck a look at myself in the mirror. My hand flew over my mouth when I saw my reflection gazing back at me. The person on the other side of the mirror could not be me. Their hair looked like a rat's nest and there were dark circles under dull, lifeless eyes. I blinked a couple of times, willing the stranger in the mirror to disappear.

I reopened my eyes and realized that it really was my reflection. I tentatively reached my hand up and tenderly touched the light bruise on my cheek. Tears filled my eyes when I remembered that Jason was the reason for the blemish. I blearily stumbled backwards and the back of my legs hit something hard and cool. I steadied myself and realized that I was against the tub of the shower.

A bath sounded wonderful right now.

I didn't even bother peeling off my clothes-it was like I was on autopilot. Without thinking, I adjusted the water exactly the way I like it-hotter than normal but not hot enough to burn my skin. Stepping into the water, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I gently lowered myself into the tub and rested my head against the edge of the cool porcelain.

It was not until I closed my eyes that the memories of my brother began to play fresh in my mind. His desperate embrace, his sobs of joy, his words of love… the hot stench of liquor on his breath, his crazed screaming, the hard grip on my arm, and the stinging impact of his hand on my cheek-I felt and heard it all. I sank lower into the tub and my tears made little splashes as they hit the warm water.

I have nothing.

No family, no friends, no love, no innocence. Nothing. Everything I ever loved had been taken away from me and destroyed. I choked back a sob at my painful realization and leaned my head back so I was staring at the ceiling above me. I have nothing to live for. So why not end my life? If I had nothing to live for then why still live?

I racked my brain for a legitimate reason but came up empty. I cried silently and remembered the previous times I had tried to kill myself. The first time was a few months after my kidnapping… My stomach was pumped. The second time was two years after my third attempt. I was not allowed around anything sharp after that. Third time is the charm. Isn't that what they say? Eric was sleeping so now was the perfect time.

I held my breath when I thought of Eric. He seemed to genuinely care about me. I had no idea why-but he did. He had taken me back to Bon Temps and allowed me to see Jason. He held me when I cried and fought him. He gathered me in his arms and curled up into bed with me...

My head was becoming dizzy so I sunk under the now tepid water. My eyes closed in contentment as I felt the water envelope me from all sides. My headache began to dissipate and I could only hear a slight buzz from my ears. At that very moment, I felt at peace. Nothing could touch me. I was invincible. My pain began to ebb away and my mind became peacefully fuzzy. My heartbeat slowed into a deep, easy pattern and I felt like everything was in slow motion. I opened my eyes under the cloudy water only to find that the edges of my vision were outlined in black. I don't know how long I was floating under the water for. It felt like days instead of only a few minutes.
I barely registered a door opening in the background. My name was being called by a familiar yet faraway voice.

My world was about to go black when a sturdy pair of hands yanked me out of the water. Oxygen rushed into my deprived lungs and I coughed violently from the impact.

"Sookie, what were you doing?"

I wanted to tell him that I was trying to get rid of my headache, but no words came out of my mouth- just throaty coughs. I slumped forward and gained control of my heavy breathing. I looked up into Eric s murderous expression and lost my breath again.

"What the fuck were you doing?" He yelled and I winced.

"I was just taking a bath." I choked out.

"The fuck you were! You were trying to kill yourself!" He exclaimed, his accent becoming very pronounced.

"No I wasn't! I was just trying to get rid of my headache." I protested.

I wobbled on my feet as I tried to push my way past him. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward him

"What was that all about? Hm? Care to explain?" He roared; his fangs fully extended.

Fury boiled through my veins and I didn't back down. Who did he think he was? Yelling at me like that?

"I told you! I had a headache! God I wasn't trying to fucking kill myself! And even if I was, why would you give a damn?"

In the blink of an eye he pushed me into the wall next to the shower, tightly gripping my shoulders, and towering over me.

"Because I care for you! That's why I give a damn, you stupid girl. You are too valuable to lose!"

"You don't care for me," I shot back, "I'm just an asset. Isn't that what I am to you? An asset? You're just using me- like everyone else does!" I shoved his chest but he didn't budge. He squeezed my shoulders and hissed at me.

"Let me go!" I screamed, struggling against his grip." Let me go!" I pounded my fists against his rock hard chest and thrashed against him vehemently

"No." He said simply, holding me in place.

"I fucking hate you!" I shouted; my face damp with tears.

"No, you don t."

"Yes I do! Don't tell me how I feel!" I tried to knee him in the groin but quick as a flash he caught my knee in his strong hand. I continued to yell and struggle but he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.

"Don't hold me," I cried." Don't hold me." My efforts to break free from his strong embrace weakened until I was pathetically pushing my hands against his stomach in a final attempt to get away.

"Don't hold me." I finally repeated, my silent tears turning to sobs.

My body went limp and I ended up sagging against him, crying uncontrollably.

"I have nothing." I sobbed into his chest. He tried to shush me but I ignored him. "My parents and grandmother are dead, my brother hates me, and everyone hurts me. I can't take it anymore. God, what have I done to deserve this?" I rambled through my tears.

Eric pulled me closer to him and placed his chin on the top of my head. I screamed and sobbed into his shirt, wishing that I could die right then and there. He brushed his lips over my damp hair.

Wordlessly, he picked me up and carried me the short distance to my room. He gently deposited me on the bed. I cried out when he pulled away from me. A second later, he was kneeling on the edge of the bed, unfastening my pants.

"No." I whispered.

"Don't be afraid."

He slipped off my soaked jeans and threw them on the floor.

"Arms up."

I tentatively obliged and lifted my arms over my head and he carefully took off my shirt. Shivering, I glanced nervously at him. He zoomed away and came back with a huge red sweatshirt. He slipped the sweatshirt over my head and I raised my arms again so he could put them through. The sweater smelled like him and was huge on me, cutting off at around mid thigh. He raised an eyebrow at me and glanced down between my legs. Understanding his hint, I quickly wiggled out of my wet underwear and equally soaked bra while he respectfully looked away. The soft fabric of his shirt felt heavenly against my cold skin. I looked up at him expectantly, hoping he would climb in bed beside me.

"I must leave you," He said, almost sounding regretful. "It is almost dawn."

Sure enough the clocked glowed that it was around five o clock. Sheepishly, I nodded and tried to snuggle into the bed.

"Don't do anything rash while I am asleep. Please, Sookie, I must speak with you when I rise. Promise me you will stay safe until then?"

"I promise." I whispered into my pillow.

"Good." He turned to leave, but hesitated and changed his mind. He walked back to me, bent down and kissed my forehead.

He whispered a sweet-sounding phrase in an ancient language that probably had not been spoken in centuries. I pulled my knees to my chest and inhaled Eric s musky scent from his sweater. I cried out the last of my tears onto the sleeves and fell asleep.

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The second time I awoke it was from a nightmare. I was covered in a layer of sweat and the sheets of my bed were balled into my fists with my legs tangled up in the blankets. I barely registered the soothing hand that was stroking my stomach.

"Sookie." His voice was just a whisper, but it cut through my nightmare induced panic. I realized my surroundings and turned my head slightly. Eric was propped up on his elbow next to me, gazing down at my face, his expression unreadable. One of his hands was gently rubbing my stomach through the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

"The color suits you." He said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I continued to stare at the ceiling. Memories from the previous night hit me like a ton of bricks. Another failed suicide attempt. I sighed, wishing I could disappear.

"Do you have any memory of what happened last night?"

I slowly nodded and covered my face with my hands.

"Why did you stop me?" I whispered into my palms.

He softly took one of my wrists and brought my hand to his mouth, kissing it.

"Like I told you before-I care about you." He answered simply.

"Why?"

He pondered my question for a brief moment and I was taken back by his hesitance.

"I don't know." He answered honestly. "There is something about you…" His eyes bore holes into mine and I looked away from his scrutinizing gaze. He looked like he was trying to solve a puzzle but the last piece was missing.

"I wish I could read your mind like you do to so many others." He confessed.

I gave a short laugh. "No, you don t." He ignored my remark and continued.

"I want to know what is going on inside your head. I want to know you."

"Believe me; you don t want to be inside my head. Half of the time I don't want to be either."

"I want to know why you are the way you are. It's like you wear masks." He touched my face, as if he was making sure I was real. "You have so many different ones; you don't know your true self."

"That's not true." I whispered.

"Of course it is," He stated, matter-of-factly. "You're full of hate and self-loathing. You're also infuriatingly stubborn and cynical."

I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off.

"But behind that mask of stone you are vulnerable and afraid."

"You're wrong." I said stubbornly

He chuckled.

"Then why do you have so many night terrors? They're every night, I assure you. I can hear you."

"I don't know why I have bad dreams," I argued. "That's like asking me why I was born. It's not my choice. That's the way it happened."

He shook his head. "No, that's where you are wrong, Sookie, there is a reason behind it that you don't want to admit."

I didn't answer him and turned over on my side, hoping he'd get the hint to go away- but he didn't. There was a little part of me hoping that he would stay- hoping that he would wrap me in his arms and let me confide in him. But I knew I could never do that.

"It is obvious why you have such horrible nightmares," He continued. I stilled.

"Why is it so obvious?"

"Oh Sookie, you have unwillingly been a vampire's pet for years. Not to mention that the vampire in question is Felipe de Castro."

My breath hitched in my throat when I heard his name. His face resurfaced in my mind and I tried to push it away.

"Even other vampires believe he is more sadistic than usual, and that is saying something." He shifted on the bed so he was pressing against my back. His hot breath tickled my ear.

"I can only imagine the kind of abuse he has put you through."

I wrapped my arms around myself, squeezing my eyes shut to prevent my tears.

"By surviving that you are incredible… for a human."

I could practically picture Eric's handsome smirk at his last few words.

"But I didn't want to," I said finally. "I tried to kill myself twice. And last night was my third attempt."

"I'm surprised you didn't try more. Most humans I believe would attempt suicide many more times… or simply beg for death. You are strong."

"But you said I'm vulnerable," I countered. "You said I am vulnerable and afraid."

"You can be vulnerable and afraid, but that doesn't mean you are not strong."

"But I'm not strong." I said; my voice cracking. A few tears spilled down my face. "I'm not strong because I have nothing to be strong for."

"You're a fighter, Sookie. Be strong for yourself."

"But I don't want to fight anymore. I have nothing."

"You have your life. Isn't that reason enough to fight?"

"I hate my life and I hate everyone in it."

"You hate me?" He didn't sound offended, just curious.

"You're a vampire, by instinct I hate you," I paused and considered what to say next. "But you're the only person in years who has showed me true kindness. So no, I guess I don t hate you." I was silent for a moment before whispering. "I hate myself."

Eric shifted his arm so it was wrapped securely around my stomach.

"What has he done to you?" Eric suddenly murmured into my neck.

My stony response even surprised me. "He has taken everything from me. My life, my soul, my mind… Everything." I said, anger bubbling up inside of me. "I can't sleep because of him. Every time I turn a corner, I expect to see his face. Every time I close my eyes, I really do see his face. He is everywhere."

Eric tried to turn me to face him but I refused to move.

"It's like he consumed me. It's like he chewed me up and then spat me back out." I paused but Eric didn't comment. "I hate him. I hate him more than anything in this world. I want him to die. And I want it to be painful."

"You see," Eric urged, like a teacher trying to help a confused student. "This is the side of you that is belligerent and unforgiving."

"Shut up!" I snapped. "Stop acting like you know me. You don't know anything about me. You don't know everything I have been through!"

"That is correct," He said slowly, taken back by my sudden change in attitude. "I don't know the extent of the pain you have endured- but I could. You can tell me."

I had a sarcastic reply on the tip of my tongue but bit it back at his final words.

"Tell you?" I repeated; my voice barely a whisper. "Why would I do that?"

"Speaking of things that hurt you will help alleviate some of your pain," Eric explained. "Keeping painful emotions locked up inside of you will drive you insane. A prime example would be what happened last night."

"Since when did you become Dr. Phil?" I muttered.

"I'm not sure who you are referencing but I can assure you that I am no doctor. I have been alive for many centuries and you don't go through life without picking up some essential life lessons."

He briefly reminded me of the guidance counselor in my old high school. She was an old woman with unnaturally white hair and red lipstick. She would drone on for hour-long assemblies about virtues and life lessons. Even the teachers would get droopy eyed and would look relieved when she finished.

I snapped my attention back to present day and pondered Eric s words. Maybe confiding my past to someone was a good idea. Maybe Eric was right and I would assuage some of my mental and emotional pain.

I thought about it for a few long minutes and made my decision. I rolled over and faced Eric who immediately cupped my face with his large hand.

"You really would listen? To everything?"

"Yes."

"You really do care?"

"Yes."

I gave a deep breath and met his piercing blue stare with my own.

Here goes nothing."Four years ago I was taken from home…" I began my tale and prayed to God that confiding in the thousand-year-old vampire wouldn't be a mistake.

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This is definitely one of my shorter/transitional chapters, but I think it needed to be done. I'm not completely satisfied with how this chapter turned out but I hope you guys disagree. Let's see if I can get the same amount of reviews I did last time! *Crosses fingers hopefully*

PS: I almost forgot, on Friday I'm going to some remote town in Virginia to visit my brother. Ugh. Since I usually update on the weekends I don't know when the next time I'll be able to update will be. It might not be for a while. I'm so sorry! *Sad panda* But I'll make the next chapter super long and awesome so hopefully it will be worth the wait!