Chapter 3: Teacher's Assistant: Why I Hate Middle School (SoulEater)
Second class is a bit irregular for me, in the sense that I am a teacher's assistant instead of a student. Second class is very irregular for me, in the sense I am trying to keep the teacher from dissecting everything within arm's length, including myself. Second class is incredibly irregular because fights between students break out on a daily basis. In short, second class as a teacher's assistant for the Science of the Metaphysical with Dr. Franken Stein is far beyond what any normal human being expects to encounter even once in their life, let alone on a daily basis. This is particularly accentuated by the fact that I, a normal human being, am among middle-school students capable of breaking me with one punch. Thankfully the students are better behaved than the teacher. Not quite sure how happy I am about that given the standard of a dissection-maniac.
"Everyone, behold! Your eyes are seeing a sight that will heal wounds, raise the dead, enlighten your senses! Here I am! The man who will surpass God himself! Black Star!" The spiky, blue-haired kid in a muscle shirt and karate gloves takes the stage… again… on a table stretching across a row of stadium seats. "Black Star, come down from there." This spoken by an apologetic girl in a white outfit with huge slit up the right leg of her outfit and a star on her left chest: Tsubaki, the ninja tool. Before you ask, this is what I mean when I say that these middle-school students are capable of breaking me with one punch. This class is nothing but elite teenage fighters: Meisters and Weapons. Weapons are human souls who can transform between weapon form and human form. Tsubaki is one of those humans. In her weapon form, she can take multiple forms, ninja blade, smoke bomb, chain and scythe, demon blade, and dummy. Black Star is her Meister, meaning his soul and hers have good compatibility. This compatibility allows Black Star to wield Tsubaki as a weapon against the chaotic forces of this world, namely the Kishin.
Before you ask, yes, this is why the class is called Science of the Metaphysical, though in reality, the class is more of a cover for the students originally from Shibusen Academy. Each Meister is paired with a human Weapon based on how their soul wavelength lines up. Meisters and Weapons that have strong enough affinity can achieve something called Soul Resonance which allows the pair to use even more powerful attacks. Take Maka Albarn and Soul Eater for example. Yes, I said Soul Eater, the kid playing piano earlier. He is a Weapon, specifically a scythe, and Maka Albarn is his Meister. They have a strong enough affinity to achieve Soul Resonance and unleash their master attack: Witch Hunter. Tsubaki is a bit special since she can transform into multiple weapons. Her and Black Star have a strange resonance: shadow manipulation. I am still not quite sure how it works but I leave that to the Doctor.
And then the scalpel pricks me in the back of the neck, followed by an all-too-eager, "I want to dissect you…" and then a "Maka… CHOP!" The scalpel is removed and followed by, "Pain." Looks like I was saved by Maka again. Sigh. "Are you alright, Hanashimoto-san?" I stare down at blonde pig-tails, a smiling face with green eyes, a black coat, and an intellect as sharp as my own. I put my best face on, "I'm fine Maka. Thanks again." Enter the present heir of the Shinigami: Death the Kidd, with his two demon weapons, Patty and Lizzy Thompson, Demon Pistols. "Things are pretty lively in he—WAA! THE SYMMETRY!" "Kidd?" "Ah, there he goes again." Kidd, as he is usually called, has an aesthetic obsession with symmetry. The insanity that comes from disrupted aesthetics: Kidd has taken this to the extreme. Do not EVER directly disrupt symmetry in his presence otherwise Death will come for you, and I mean that in all possible senses.
Unlike Tohsaka and Emiya, these students are under the direct supervision of Shibusen. They do not need to hide their abilities or identities. They just need to be- wa! And now Doctor is chasing me again. I dive under a table for refuge. As I was saying, they just need to be careful and not cause too much damage. As I said before, these students are sent all over the world to prevent those with chaotic souls from becoming too powerful and become a Kishin, a god of chaos and insanity. When I signed up to be the TA for this class, I was sent on one of these missions with Dr. Stein and Spirit Albarn, Maka's father, who is also a Scythe weapon. Shinigami-sama, Kidd's honorable father and Chairman of Shibusen, deemed it necessary since I was to be working with the students. After surviving a night of blood and red bubbles that I was told were souls, I knew what I was dealing with and, despite my reflex to run away, my desire for incredible story won out.
Some how I have survived through it all, including a magical cat named Blair. Don't ask. I don't want to explain. I'll leave it at this: Blair is a magical cat that can take near human form when she wants; however, she is quite unaware of normal human boundaries when it comes to dress, which makes for many bloody noses and stopped hearts… and visits from Spirit, who also has a horrible woman chasing habit. This only leads to more blood from repeated Maka Chops, which leads to visits from Kniges, acting nurse given the departure of Medusa, former Shibusen nurse who was a witch in disguise. Her current whereabouts are unknown but the revival of the Kishin has made everything more unpredictable. Thankfully, the present Kishin is as equally cowardly being as he is powerful so he has buried his presence. Not quite sure why, but let us enjoy the peace as long as we can.
Amazingly, class settles down and the lesson goes forward to the new ability that they are beginning to master: chain resonance. Though I am only an observer, I feel the strength coming from them and wish that there was something I could do something to protect the world. But for now I guess I have to have the patience to wait until the time comes that I can do something that only I can do. Time passes as it always does and after plenty of interruptions though the lecture, the bell rings and I take a deep breath. A "Well done with your work, Hanashimoto-kun" from Marie-Sensei, the beautiful Shibusen teacher, a redeeming factor to this particular period and I am out the door. Not even half way through the day and I have escaped death multiple times. With any luck, I'll make it through the break and then third class will be normal. I hope.
This is why I hate middle school.