Chapter Twenty-One: Take A Deep Breath, Baby.

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I've done a lot of things in my life that I regret.

I have never said sorry for them.

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I don't think I ever will.

I did what I did, so that I could survive.

I won't apologise for living.

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The silver haired fellow stared into the pensieve set before him, fingers steepled and head bowed.

"My mistakes laid bare, for the world to see," he mused quietly, voice breaking the silence growing thick around him. He could hear every rustle, every flickering blade of grass outside the window. It was a maddening existence, being completely alone.

"My mistakes," he repeated softly to himself. "Is this the price I pay for them? Isolation. Loss."

He shook his head, a laugh bubbling in his throat which bordered hysterics. He reached out a withering hand, touching the surface of the pensieve and watching it shimmer and distort.

"My dear children, what pain have I brought you, with these mistakes of mine?"

The image, tired of being played with and distorted, finally faded away to nothing taking the comforting and yet damning images with it.

Again, the man was left alone.

His hands clenched and his head drooped, a curtain of hair enclosing his face.

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Arthur had transfigured the single bed into a double bed for Severus and Draco that night. After bidding them a hasty goodnight he had left, leaving the pair in silence. It had taken Draco a while to get back up the stairs, still a little light headed from the lack of blood in his system which was only slowly replacing itself. The spell was weak, due to Severus' own weak magical and physical strength at the time of casting, and it was taking it's toll on Draco.

Curled up on one side of the bed, Draco watched through bored eyes as Severus prepared himself for bed. Both had been lent clothes from the Weasley's again. This time it was pajamas, not just normal clothes.

"Severus?" Draco asked, as Severus slid on his pajama shirt, covering the scars which scattered his own back and chest. Severus cast beady black eyes towards the younger boy, waiting for him to continue as he buttoned his shirt.

"Hmm?" Severus prompted when the boy said nothing.

Draco frowned, his brows knitting together. Severus finished preparing for bed and slipped under the scratchy sheets but did not douse the light immediately.

"Nothing," Draco finally concluded, sighing and Severus scowled.

"Fine," he said sharply and flicked his wrist, plunging the room into darkness. Draco didn't even pretend to sleep, pursing his lips and staring in annoyance at the roof. Had he really been about to tell Severus about what Ha-...Potter had done? He was insane. Severus wouldn't understand.

No.

Severus would probably understand more than anyone else, actually, Draco admitted to himself, inclining his head, as if conceding a good point to his own thoughts. Severus was a rather constant presence in the blond's life. It would make sense to ask him.

Well, perhaps not ask him outright.

Draco was a slytherin, was he not? He gave a faint smirk.

"For Merlin's sa- Stop planning out your words and just ask," Severus muttered, his eyes closed but facing Draco. "Before I'm bored to death or - heaven forbid - to sleep."

Draco snorted, and rolled over to face Severus though the elder man's remained closed. "Homosexuality is not hereditary, correct?"

There.

He'd asked.

Severus said nothing, for a moment, then sighed. "Did Moody hit you with a stunner?"

"What? No."

"A confundus?"

"No."

"Obliviate?"

"Oh for the- No!"

Severus' eyes opened abruptly and he fixed Draco with a decidedly unamused look. "Why else would you ask such a stupid question?"

"It was a valid question!" Draco snapped.

"It was a stupid question, but I feel you are building to something, so instead of kicking you from the room in fear of catching your stupidity, I will answer. No. It is not. If it was, your father would not have been born, nor would he have been born via his father."

"I was born though," Draco pointed out.

"Because your father was, admittedly and it pains me to say, clever. Now, ask your real question."

Draco pursed his lips, but did not ask. "I don't want to be gay."

Severus looked like he wanted to groan, and instead closed his eyes. "Do I wish to know why?"

"Because being Gay does not lead to happiness." He was fencing. Avoiding the real answer, and real question.

The potions master sighed. "To make up for the absence of a particularly nosy blond haired bastard, I shall concede defeat to my own internal musings and ask the perhaps stupid question, of how you came to that conclusion?"

"You and father."

Severus gave in and raised a hand to rub the throbbing which was building behind his eyes. "Draco. Your father and I are not - nor were we, or ever will be- a prime example of homosexual normalcy." Had he been a hufflepuff, he would have continued on, speaking of their troubles of which Draco knew most. Severus did not care to rehash his past, not now, not after what Lucius had done to them, to his own son.

"You were both in love. And yet you still failed. How am I to succeed when even you both could fail?"

Severus scoffed. "Who said anything about Love? To try, to fail, or to succeed, it will all be the same whether you are gay or straight. Now go to sleep. I am neither your counselor nor match-maker and I have no interest in your pubescent fumbling with people who could get you killed."

Draco winced. So Severus had assumed it was someone in the house, which it was, though he doubted even Severus could have predicted that this conversation was spawned from a run-in with Potter.

Not that Draco was considering anything with Potter. He just...wanted to make it clear to Severus, if the truth of Potter and his encounter ever got out, that he was definitely not gay.

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"You okay Harry?"

Harry jerked his head up, he had been scrubbing the same floor board for the passed five minutes, he realised and flushed, quickly moving onto the next. "Yeah I'm fine, Ron."

The redhead groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. "I hate cleaning. Why are we even cleaning? We're moving!"

"Because Ron, your mother wants things cleaned for when you come back so she doesn't need to do it then," Hermione explained logically. "Also, there are more people here now than then, so it will get done quickly. Be grateful you were not asked to clean the Twin's room." She shuddered and Harry snickered, remembering one of the order members, who had been convinced to help Fred and George with cleaning, running screaming from the twin's room with his hair in blond pigtails - having been an natural brunette earlier - and being chased by frogs. It had happened earlier that morning but it was nearing midday and they were all set to leave soon. To Grimmauld place. Harry was looking forward to it, in a way. If only to leave the burrow 's cramped surrounds.

The trio were almost finished with the room they had been assigned, which meant they would be amongst the first to leave for the new house.

"Think we'll share a room at the new place, Mate?" Ron asked, sounding a little reluctant to think of that. Harry winced. Ron and Hermione had been throwing each other looks all week, and Harry didn't think it was anything to do with studying they were thinking of. Hermione would bunk with Ginny again, if only because Ginny enjoyed having a female around to talk to.

"Nah, probably not," Harry said, ignoring the relieved look on Ron's face. He didn't think the two had gotten far, or even admitted to each other what they were thinking about, but it was obvious that they would want somewhere private to talk or 'talk'. "Too many rooms to choose from, I doubt we'd agree on one."

"Yeah, true," Ron agreed, nodding quickly. "Best have our own rooms. Can just chat in the lounge and all that, since we just sleep in our rooms."

Harry grinned. "Yeah. You can still beat me in chess in the lounge too."

Ron puffed out his chest. "O' course! Even a new location can't change my chess skills."

"Or your ego," Hermione sniffed, making Ron deflate. She waged a rag at him, sending dust towards his face and causing him to sneeze. Harry snickered as the sneezes continued, long after they should have stopped. Hermione must have had some left-over sneezing powder on the rag, and unknowingly - or knowingly, Harry didn't know which - flicked it into Ron's face.

Hermione began to giggle, and Harry's laughter increased as Ron finally disappeared in a puff of smoke and revealed a tiny pink mouse in his place.

"Children!" Molly bellowed from down the hallway. "I can't hear you cleaning! You may laugh all you like but clean while you do it."

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley!" Hermione and Harry yelled back dutifully, while Ron gave a bemoaning squeak as his fur began to fall out in patches. Perhaps this was an early batch of the Sneezing-Fit-Mice, since Harry knew the mouse did not shed now in the product, or maybe it was new. The twins did like seeing things shed, for some reason.

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Draco held discretely onto Severus' arm as they walked down the stairs, no possessions clutched in their hands as they had none to take with them. They wore more hand-me-down Weasley clothes, but this time Severus was given a cloak, much too short for him and had only been spelled black so it was more a dusty mauve colour now and then when the light hit it right. It was better now, Draco mused, and released his hold on Severus when people came into view.

He was still lightheaded, to his annoyance, but it was fading more and more as minutes passed...Or it had been, until he stood up and it now returned full force.

"All ready to go, dearies?" Molly asked, quietly and patted Draco's shoulder motherly. She looked like she wanted to do the same to Severus but resisted.

"If we're dressed, we're ready to go," Draco muttered and earned a sympathetic look from Molly and Author, glares from everyone else, save Harry who had just walked in and stood awkwardly behind Draco.

"Well everything has been sent off before us, so it's just us. Let me find the piece of paper. We'll all share, alright? Pass it around once you've memorized it," she fussed and pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, handing it around.

It took a while to be passed around to Draco, and when it was, it was Harry who passed it to him, their fingers brushing briefly. Scanning the few lines written on the page, he recognised the name 'Grimmauld' as what they had been speaking of yesterday. They must have only recently set up the next secret keeper.

He passed it to Severus, who shook his head, motioning for him to pass it back to Molly as Severus had already read it over Draco's shoulder.

"All memorised?" Molly asked, and set the piece of paper on fire. "Good! Now, off to the floo with you. We must get moving." Molly motioned for her children to go first, and held onto Draco's shoulder to prevent him from going after them. "Are you feeling up to this?" She asked, releasing his shoulder when he made no move to leave.

"Yes," Draco said firmly, and watched Severus disappear in the flames as the last of them disappeared. "I'll be fine."

"Shall I go first, so if something happens I'm available?" worried Molly.

"It's fine," Draco stressed the words. "Severus is there. Nothing will happen. I'll go first."

Molly nodded and both Arthur and her watched him go worriedly, as he threw the powder at his feet and disappeared in a rush of flames. The feeling of travellng by floo was worse than travelling via portkey for Draco but Portkey's brought back too many memories, so floo was easy to handle.

It made him nauseous when it finally spat him out at Grimmauld place's living room and he stumbled as he stepped from the hearth. Someone grabbed his arm, holding him up.

"I've got you," a voice told him, leading him to a nearby chair.

Potter.

Perfect bloody Potter.

Damn it if Draco wasn't grateful for the hero, just a little, else he would have fallen flat on his face.

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Lucius was no saint, but even his evil had it's limits.

Staring at the brutally carved remains of a creature he preferred not to think of as 'human' laid before him, he murmured gentle excuses to the Dark Lord, explaining that his new 'bride' would be expecting him. Those around him laughed and jeered, pleasing the Dark Lord, who allowed his cowardly escape with a simple burning spell sent his way, singing his hair and shoulder. He tried to shrug it off, pretending he did not mind that his hair now reached his ear, rather than his shoulder, on one side.

He left the 'Dinning' Hall quietly and swiftly. He was afraid that if he did not leave that room, he might be the next morsel laid bear on the table before him.

Entering his room and seeing his young bride sitting on the bed - naked still, for no one had thought to give her clothes- Lucius experienced a moment of pause as she raised her face to his, the stubborn tilt of her jaw reminding him of times missed.

"Finished torturing?" She spat out, having heard the earlier screams.

"Yes," Lucius said coldly, stalking over to the bed. Had the man seemed interested in her flesh, the girl would have scrambled back and hidden, but the male had no even gazed at her with longing or with any great interest.

"What do you want?" She demanded, trying to move back as he reached for her chin and holding it firm in place. He forced her gaze to meet his.

"Do you trust me?"

"No." Her answer was fast and firm, no hint of hesitation.

Lucius smirked. "Perfect. This might just work." He released her chin and stalked to the desk he kept in his room.

"What might work?" The female grew exasperated with his vague speak.

"Escaping."

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Author's Note:

The plots in this story are finally starting to move, even if the chapter is short. This story will have around 5-6 chapters before the end, but a sequel will be written after that.

I can't apologise for my absence, because it needed to happen, but I'm sorry that I wasn't able to keep you updated. This is what annoys me about fanfic, you can't post interim updates on progress or hiatus reasons, on here. If anyone cares for the reason this was left not-updated for so long, it is simply because I had exams, assessments, a new job and health problems to deal with, so you can understand why I needed the break. This story wasn't forgotten, as you can see.

Thank you to all of the reviewers for the last chapter, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, and I hope you have not lost interest in this story in my absence.

-Liaa
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If anyone is interested, you are welcome to leave a pairing idea or plot idea in a review or private message. I will be doing a few short stories to get me back into writing, and I'd love to write some stories that you guys would be interested in. These pairings can be slash, het, or femmslash, or just a general story, no pairing. Got a pairing you want to see? Let me know. These stories will be around 5-10k words. Not all ideas will be chosen, but like I said, I'm just trying to jolt my muse back into Harry Potter. If your idea is used, I'll Private Message you to let you know when it's uploaded.