"Im scared, Derek. I don't want to lose who I am just so I can do this job." She looked at him with haunted and frightened eyes.
"We are in one of the most beautiful places on earth. I know you see that, don't you?" He asked looking at the gorgeous woman in front of him.
"Yeah."
Touching her face softly, while wiping away a rebellious tear down her cheek, he spoke with conviction, "Then we have nothing to worry about. It's who you are Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never going to change and I won't let it."
"I don't need you to protect me."
"Tough. I think I am going to stay on the job a while longer."
Chuckling sadly, she looked up at him and asked, "Oh yeah? How much longer?"
"Everyday of my life."
She smiled and gently punched him in the chest while he pulled her into his arms. "I kind of love you, Derek Morgan."
Pressing a kiss upon the crown of her head, he responded, "And I kind of love you, Penelope Garcia."
Derek parked his truck in the visitor parking lot as he stared up at the hospital. Had it been almost a year ago that he had her in his arms on that Alaska mountain ridge? Had it been that long since he wiped her tears from her eyes and held her tight to let her know safety once again?
He didn't know what to expect when he entered the hospital. Hotch's anger toward him was overbearing. He knew he deserved it, but a consequence of his friend's anger was lack of trust and information. Derek knew he was going to need to be strong for the news he would be discovering.
He walked through the hospital doors and felt his heart pound faster with each step toward the front desk. Looking at the hard working older women, he swallowed and spoke firmly, "Hello. My name is Derek Morgan and I am Penelope Garcia's next of kin."
The graying nurse gave him a sad smile while the other went about her rounds. Looking up at Derek's strong frame, she answered him. "Yes, Ms. Garcia is in ICU room 214. Dr. Johnson put her there due to her resistant behavior." The nurse gave him an uneasy smile. "Doctor Johnson wanted to be notified when you came so he can update you on Ms. Garcia's condition. If you go up to the second floor and wait in the visitor lounge, Dr. Johnson will be with you shortly."
"Thank you, mam," Derek said moving nervously toward the elevator. The last time he was in a visitor's lounge was when he and his team received news of Emily's death. It had been less than two weeks since that tragic day. Now he was back in fear for his Penelope's life.
With every step, Derek felt his fears rise. He looked at patients that were being moved about the ICU floor. Burns, gun shot wounds, stabbings, cancer. So much damage and destruction surrounded him. He could only imagine what happened to Penelope.
When Derek came to the lounge, he realized he was the only one in the room. Taking a seat across the window to observe every person's movements, Derek took a seat in the tacky chairs and rested his head upon his hands. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of Penelope's smile, her vibrance and vitality. He tried to remember their nicknames, their movie nights and their adventures. He let his mind think of their phone calls when he'd be away on cases and their occasional skype conversations when technology allowed it. Derek took a shaky sigh as his heart beat and heavy breathing were his sole comfort in sound.
"Agent Morgan?"
Derek's head shot up as he looked upon the shorter focused man. "Yes?" Derek said standing in attention.
"My name is Doctor Johnson. Agent Hotchner said you would be by. Please, sit back down." Doctor Johnson motioned for the younger man to sit.
"How is she?" Derek asked.
"What has Agent Hotchner told you?" the doctor responded.
"He just told me that Penelope was severely beaten and was admitted last night. She had given his contact information as her immediate contact. I believe she was doing that to protect me and our team."
"Why would you say that?" the doctor asked.
Exhaling, Derek answered him, "We recently suffered a great loss in our team. Our friend, Emily's, funeral was just four days ago. Penelope is the kind of person who hates to cause others worry. She probably didn't want me involved because of everything going on, while Hotch is our team leader and needs to be notified."
"Okay, when you say team, what do you mean by that exactly?" Doctor Johnson began writing notes in what appeared to be Penelope's chart.
"We are federal employees for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the Behavior Analysis Unit. I, as well as Agent Hotchner, are special agents, while Penelope is our technical analyst."
"Does she have many physical demands with her job?" he asked.
"Penelope has been known to go with us on cases since our communications liaison got transferred to the Pentagon. Other than that, her job is mainly research based through computer technologies and records," Derek informed.
"I see." Doctor Johnson finished one of his notes, leaving Derek feeling anxious. "Penelope's travels are going to need to be put off for at least three months. She is in no condition to travel at this time and needs extensive physical and emotional therapy to start coping with her trauma."
Taking a deep breath, Derek prepared for the worst. "Can you inform me of the extent of Penelope's injuries?"
"Certainly." Closing Penelope's file, Doctor Johnson began explaining Penelope's condition. "Her cheek bone was fractured and she needed significant stitches beneath her eyes, however, as I informed Agent Hotchner, I don't believe her face will be scarred. She has four broken ribs and two are dangerously angled toward her lungs. If she doesn't allow herself time to heal, she can risk puncturing her lungs and suffering severe internal bleeding. Her shoulder was dislocated, but now she is wearing a sling to keep the rotator cuff from being too inflamed. It seems that whiskey was poured over her body, which ironically helped heal cuts along her hands, stomach and face. However, the sting will continue to effect her as she moves. Her ankle is sprained, but given her upper body injuries, crutches are impossible and a wheel chair is too excessive. Instead, she is to keep her ankle wrapped 24/7 unless she is bathing. She suffered a significant concussion, however, she has made it past the fearful phase of her observation. One of our nurses informed me that Penelope finally went down for a nap about an hour ago."
Derek could feel his rage light his body on fire while his insides were being torn apart. With every description of Penelope's injuries, Derek felt himself die. He feared for what he would see when he looked at her. Would she be suffering? Would she be fearful?
Doctor Johnson could see that this knowledge was overwhelming the man in front of him. "Im apologize, I don't mean to be pushy, but I need to know of Penelope's post hospital arrangements. From what I have gathered, this is a domestic violence case and that her previous partner has fled from the residence. Do you know if she would have any desire to press charges?"
He clenched his fists at the thought of Kevin Lynch. "Im sure she will," Derek growled. "I have not spoken with her since the incident, Doctor, but I am sure she will want to press charges."
"Well, Agent Morgan," the doctor spoke suddenly nervous around the angered agent, "we have video footage of Ms. Garcia's entrance into the emergency room, including her drop off. I am sure the footage could help your case."
"That would be much appreciated," Derek said. Growing frightened, Derek asked with uncertainty, "May I see her?"
"Yes, Agent Morgan," the doctor was much shorter than Derek but his intelligence and skills fueled his confidence. "She is in room 214. When you enter her room, be sure to close the door for the quiet of other patients."
"Thank you, Doctor," Derek said with a nod.
With wary steps, Derek ended up in front of Penelope's room. He could see her sleeping form through the window. As he entered her room, he was conscious of the fact that he needed to be silent. When he closed the door, Derek took a needed moment of silence to gather his strength to look upon his broken woman.
In ascending formation, he took in her sprained ankle that was resting upon a pillow beneath her blankets. Moving up her body, he saw the gauze and bandages cover bloody wounds upon her arms. He could make out the markings of her bandage wrap around her stomach. Taking in her bruises, Derek looked at her face and he felt his heart break for what seemed to be the millionth time. Her stitches were bold beneath her eye, while bruising and cuts colored her ivory skin an unfavorable blue and black.
Her eyes were clenched tightly as was her jaw as he witnessed her have a nightmare. Her hands clung to her blanket in fear and distress. The sounds of the monitors tracked her heart beat and blood pressure. Through her spout of fear, her heart raced quickly and Derek could only watch in fear. He feared touching her and having her repel from him. He feared touching her and hearing her tears from too much force. He feared touching her and having her cling to him in pain and heartbreak.
Penelope gasped as she woke from her nightmare. Kevin had been beating her once again, but had a gun with him this time. She let loose a bloody scream when Derek rushed through the door and Kevin shot the gun, a bullet marring Derek's chest.
Initially confused by her surroundings, she looked toward the monitors and remembered that she was in the hospital. Looking down at her body, she took in a clearer view of her injures. She was grateful she couldn't see her face. It felt swollen and marred, certainly not beautiful or desirable. After looking down at her bruised and bloody hands, she lifted her gaze to the presence in her room and she gasped at the sight of Derek at the end of her bed. He stood with a combination of emotions controlling his stance and face. Fear, hurt, heartbreak and anger were emotions she could read quickly as he shifted his feet to a firm stance in front of her. "Derek?" she whispered in sad surprise.
"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" Derek asked angrily. He didn't want to be angry, but he was suddenly flooded with broken emotions.
Shutting her eyes, she shifted her gaze toward the moon. "I am going to kill Boss Man," she said sadly.
Wanting to talk with her without anger, Derek changed his tactic, "Why didn't you want me contacted, Penelope?"
Chuckling sadly, she replied, "Why do you think? I thought I would be the last person you would want to see."
"That isn't true," he said sadly.
"Really? That is sure believable," she scoffed. "I mean, a moment in my bed sent you running the moment you thought I was asleep. I really do believe that you would come running if the hospital had called."
Guilt washed over him as her voice was filled with bitterness and heartbreak, two characteristics that are so not those of the woman he loved. "Baby Girl..."
"Save it, Derek," she said, raising her hand to him. "It was a mistake. A mistake you have made very clear you don't want to discuss." Penelope felt a stabbing pain in her chest. She wished she could say it was her injuries, but she knew without a doubt it was her broken heart. "You and I both know that you don't want to be here. Just go home."
A mistake. Derek felt his heart shatter at her sharp tone and words. While she tried to have a brave face, he could see the heart break and devastation beneath her brown eyes. "Im not going anywhere," he responded.
"Just go. Hotch is going to come by with my things and once I am released I am going to take it easy for about a week and then be back in the BAU like everyone else. Everything will be back to normal, Derek. You don't need to rescue me this time."
"Well, that is where you are wrong, Penelope Garcia." Derek moved to her side and lifted her go bag. "You see, I have your things. Once Doctor Johnson clears you to leave, I will be moving in and taking my spot back on your couch to take care of you while you are recovering."
"Like hell you will," she said, looking at him angrily. "I can take care of myself!"
"That you cannot, Ms. Garcia," Doctor Johnson said entering the room. "It seems that our feisty patient is back to herself."
"Doctor, I live on my own for a reason. I don't need help." Penelope grew frustrated as both men looked down at her broken form. "I may not look like my Grade A self at the moment, but give me a moment with Avon and boy I will be sharp!"
"Ms. Garcia..."
"Or maybe Miss Maybelline!" Penelope tried to flash a smile, but her recent injuries left her stinging in pain. "Ow!" she moaned, frustrated with her body's rejection of her independence.
"Ms. Garcia, I am going to release you to Agent Morgan's care as long as you follow our medical instructions to a T. You have major injuries, however, with proper care, you should heal just fine. You are to be without work for 8 weeks..."
"8 weeks!" she yelled. However, the exertion to her stomach sent her wailing in pain.
"Hey, hard head! No commentary!" Derek said, giving her a firm stare.
"Thank you, Agent Morgan," Doctor Johnson said firmly. "You will be without work for 8 weeks and then you cannot travel for at least another five weeks."
"Urgh!" she growled in frustration.
"I expect you to check in with your primary physician in the next week for further medical care. Otherwise, you should be able to go home in about 8 hours."
"Why so long?" she asked.
"The pharmacy needs to prepare your immediate medications and you should use up the last amounts of your pain medication in your IV." Looking to Derek, he said, "If you go up the front desk, you can fill out the rest of Ms. Garcia's paper work as well as receive instructions on how to care for Ms. Garcia for the next few days."
"I am here you know! I am not Clooney!" Penelope sighed, frustrated that Doctor Johnson was speaking of her in the third person.
Chuckling, Derek rolled his eyes and responded to the doctor, "I will read it all."
"Very well then." The doctor gave a sad smile to his patient and exited the room, leaving Penelope and Derek behind.
They existed in an awkward silence. Penelope was first to speak as she stared at the man she knew she would always long for. "I should call JJ. Maybe she and Henry can come up for a couple days. Just until I get on my feet."
"Baby Girl, I told you I am taking care of you. I promise you, I am going to take care of your every cut, bruise and scar. You just need to rest."
"Derek, you need to stop," Penelope said, building the walls of distance around her heart.
"Stop what?" he asked.
"You need to stop pretending. Pretending that we are okay, that you can just waltz in and save me when I am this broken. I don't need your lies."
"Lies? What lies?" Derek asked growing frustrated with her.
"You don't need to take care of me out of guilt, Derek Morgan. Our friendship was built on honesty and I don't want this. I don't want you taking care of me because of your guilt from one mistake."
"Penelope, I am not doing this out of guilt and that night wasn't a mistake. Not to me," he said, his voice quieting as he words grew more truthful.
"Actions speak louder than words," she said sharply.
Derek felt like he got hit with a bullet. "Is that what you think?" he asked sadly. Moving closer to her, he tried to make contact with her eyes. "Baby Girl, I don't think you will ever know how sorry I am for leaving that night. I..."
"I don't believe you." Penelope turned her head and closed her eyes. She couldn't hear him say anything about his actions that night. She didn't want his guilt or pity. She wanted his love and his passion. She wanted his heart and she knew that that was never going to happen.
Derek didn't think he could breathe as he watched his Goddess turn from him. Her hurt and betrayal were radiating off her in waves, each wave crashing into him with destruction in their paths. Instead of running from her like she expected, he only pressed a timid kiss upon her head and touched her hand softly. "I am not going anywhere, Penelope Garcia." With that, he left the room to fill out her paperwork while she was left overwhelmed with her broken heart and tears.