Like Eating Glass-Chapter 14
So , this next section wasn't originally in my outline but I feel like I needed another section of Wordy and Shelly. I don't know if this will be the last chapter or not, we'll have to see how long this gets and where exactly I want to end it. Let me know what you think. I still don't own Flashpoint.
He found himself in the same place as the night before, sitting in his own driveway, exhausted and cold, but not quite sure if he wanted to go inside his home. Though he couldn't pinpoint what it was, he felt a bit less anxiety than he had the entire day. Part of him hated the conversations he'd had with Greg and Ed but he knew they were necessary and he knew that they were probably a big reason that he was still standing and still sane. He nodded to himself, as he got out of the van and walked quickly to his front door, the piles of snow already up to his ankles.
He opened his door and was again hit by the warmth of the house. He stepped back out of the house, like the night prior, but gathered his will and walked inside the house, closing the door quietly behind him. He stood in the hall and slipped off his wet boots by the door before noticing that a dim light was on in the kitchen. He tiptoed past the staircase and into the kitchen, squinting his eyes at the light.
"Shelly?" He moved closer to the kitchen table and saw Shelly resting her head in her arms as she slept on top of a magazine. A cup of (now cold) coffee sat beside her as she stirred a bit at the calling of her name. Wordy stood next to her and gently placed his hand on her back, running small circles over the light nightshirt. "Shelly, are you awake?" He cooed softly in her ear. She sat up quickly, breaking out of her daze.
"Kevin," She craned her neck and placed a kiss on his cheek before leaning back in an attempt to see him. "Are you okay? Where were you? What's going on?" Wordy kissed her before she could continue.
"Shhh, Shell, I'm here now and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Shelly." He whispered softly as he pulled out a chair from the table and sat down. Shelly took a sip of her coffee and grimaced as she tasted the cold coffee and forced it down.
"Eww." She groaned before getting up and dumping the coffee down the sink. "Do you want a cup?" She turned and asked Wordy before pouring some out of pot. He shook his head, he didn't need the additional barrier of caffeine to sleeping tonight.
"Have you been up all night?" He asked as she sat down and took a large sip of the coffee. She nodded.
"I tried..." Shelly looked deeply into his eyes. "Kevin, please tell me what's going on, please let me in." She begged as she moved closer to him. He looked at his fingers as he cupped his hands, suddenly sweating.
"It's been a really stressful few days, Shell. I talked to Greg and I took a little time off." He smiled but she didn't return the gesture.
"That's great Kevin, really great." She wrapped her hands around mug before looking at him. "But what's going on? These past two days...you haven't been yourself..." Wordy took a deep breath and thought hard about what he wanted to say, what he needed to say. He looked out the back door again and saw the snow falling as he spoke.
"You know how sometimes when...when negotiations fail Ed, or Jules, or Sam sometimes have to take a lethal shot?" She nodded and her expression turned to one of sympathy.
"Is...is that what happened yesterday, Kevin? Because I know how sometimes you get upset when you can't save everyone." She rubbed her hand up and down his forearm gently but he continued as if she hadn't spoken, still not looking at her.
"We had a call yesterday, Ed was trying to find a sniper perch but couldn't get an angle. Jules was negotiating and Sam and I were covering her but Sam had to take an injured hostage out." He paused and took a few deep breaths, still starting into the swirling snow as it fell from the sky. "Greg and Spike were working on getting information but..." He took more deep breaths, fighting tears. "but the subject was going to shoot the hostage so I...I took the shot."
Wordy pulled away from Shelly's hand and got up from the table, walking over to the backdoor and looking out into the snowy night. He saw Shelly in the reflection of the glass but he wasn't sure what he was seeing in her expression.
"I'm so sorry, honey. Why didn't you say anything?" She asked as she got up and stepped closer to him. He felt his muscles tense as she placed her hand in his and leaned her head on his upper arm.
"Well...the subject...she..." He felt the tears in his eyes again and couldn't contain them any longer. "She was young, only a kid, twelve years old..." A tear ran down his face and he broke away from Shelly's touch again, moving back to the table.
"That must have been terrible for you Kevin, I'm so sorry you had to do that." Shelly looked at him with nothing but sympathy and concern and care and Wordy felt himself burning under her gentle gaze.
"That...that's not all." He nearly choked out. "The man she had hostage was her...her father and he was...well he was abusing her..." Shelly looked shocked for a moment but moved next to Wordy and hugged him tightly. She could feel that he wasn't hugging her back despite his tears and pain. She felt him trying to gently move again but she held firmly around his waist.
"I don't know what to say, Kevin." She whispered as she craned her neck upwards. "But I know that you were doing your job and as vile as that man might have been, you had to do what you did." She tried her best to sooth him as she guessed Greg did but she sensed he was still holding something back. "Why didn't you tell me last night, Kevin?" She asked softly. He finally succeeded in breaking away from her embrace and he turned his back to her and slowly walked to the other side of the kitchen as he spoke.
"I...I'm not supposed to be the bad guy." He said softly as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I'm supposed to help people, to save them...I'm not supposed to..." He paused and took a few breaths before turning and looking at Shelly, his eyes glassy. "I'm not supposed to be like Blake." He turned and paced away to the other side of the kitchen running his hand through his hair. Shelly froze for a moment, the memories coming back to her as she thought of her abusive ex-boyfriend and the pain she had been though at his hands. Wordy had saved her from him and she now had tears in her eyes.
"Kevin," She said firmly as she walked up to him. "You are not like him. You will never be like him, ever, because you don't like to hurt people." She was in a zone now and nothing was stopping her from expressing her thoughts. "I know that you would never, never, do any of the things he did to me. You are the furthest thing from that scumbag and I don't want you to ever compare yourself to him again." She took a breath and saw his surprised face.
"I love you, Kevin. I love you with all my heart and I know that you did what you did because you had absolutely no other options." She saw him beginning to protest but continued. "If you didn't take that shot we'd be having this conversation, maybe not the same one, but you wouldn't be able to live with yourself knowing that you let a man die and maybe you could have prevented it." Wordy thought hard about what she was saying and, though he still felt the guilt and the shame and anxiety, he knew that she had a valid point. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud, attempted whisper.
"Mommy..." They heard the small voice coming down the stairs and tiptoe into the kitchen. "Can I have juice?" Allie, their two year old, peeked her head out from the door frame before exclaiming, "Daddy!"
"Shhhh!" They both said hurriedly, not wanting to wake up the other two girls. Allie rushed over to Wordy and gave him a huge hug around his ankle.
"No juice, Allie. Do you want water?" Shelly said softly as she went over to the refrigerator.
"Yes, please." She said sweetly as she stepped away from Wordy. "Daddy, what's the matter?" She asked innocently, her big blue eyes looking up at his, seeing his tears.
"Nothings the matter, cupcake." He said as he picked her up and sat her down at the kitchen table. Shelly gave her a small cup of water which she took a sip from. "Daddy just had a very long day at work." He explained. She nodded but her attention was then caught by the swirling flurries outside the backdoor.
"Snow!" She yelled again.
"Shhhhh!" They again reminded but her focus was solely on the snow.
"Can we play in it?" She asked quietly.
"In the morning, cupcake. Daddy has some time off from work so we'll go to the park and play in it tomorrow." She smiled at him, nearly bouncing out of her seat. "But you need to get to bed, I'll tuck you in." He said as he stood from his chair and put her glass in the sink. "I'll be up in a minute." He said as she ran ahead. "Quietly." He reminded her again before going over to the sink where Shelly stood.
"Are you okay, Kevin?" Shelly asked as he hugged her.
"I'm getting there. Slowly, but I'll get there." He held her in a long hug and rocked back and forth with her before letting go and kissing her forehead. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, and I always will." She stressed the word 'always' as he backed away and went up the stairs to tuck Allie in.
Considering I wasn't even going to write that chapter, I actually like how it came out. So thanks are owed to Zadie, psyscaper, and fanfictionfan63 for convincing me to get a little more into the family dynamic. And as a side note, the name Blake as Shelly's ex was borrowed from Tinkerpanda and her wonderful story "The Truth in the Lie." I'm thinking one more chapter to go so tell me what you think!