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Chapter Five: Lionblaze
The Clan is breaking up after the meeting. I just saw Jayfeather slide back into his den, and everyone else is going back to what they were doing.
My mind is racing. So that's why she called me Lionpaw. And we're going to lie to her for the rest of her life. Nice, real nice… I need to hunt.
I think the only other cat that's not too happy about lying to Hollyleaf is Cinderheart. Not surprising, they were good friends before she ran away. Maybe that's how I can get through to her?
I find her walking into warriors den. "Hey! Cinderheart!" I call. She looks at me coldly,
"What do you want?" she mews.
"I wanted to know if you want to go hunting with me." I ask hesitantly.
"I don't think so Lionblaze." She turns away, leaving me standing alone and broken hearted.
Dusk has fallen as I race away from camp. The ShadowClan border still holds too many painful memories, as does the WindClan border. So I race to the lake. I skid to a stop only when small waves lap my paws.
I almost want to jump into the lake to drown. I might have if we hadn't found Hollyleaf, or if I didn't know about the prophecy. But without the prophecy none of this would have happened anyway.
I stand there on shore for a long time watching the sun – now a fiery red ball – fall, and ponder life and death. The sun has turned the lake red. Now it's bloody waves that lap against my paws. Is that all I am – A murderer? Is that all I do? Bring blood and death? Am I really just a monster?
I stand there until the sun disappears, taking its blood with it. The waves are normal when I leave, slinking back into the forest to make my kills.
When I get back to camp I take only the smallest squirrel from my catch leaving the rest at the fresh-kill pile. I eat quickly; I have a bone to pick with Jayfeather.
He's sorting herbs while Hollyleaf sleeps, relief fills me as she already looks a hundred times better.
"Oh hey Lionblaze, what's up?" He asks looking up from a pile of mallow.
"I need to talk to you." I reply. He flicks his tail, as if to say go ahead, and I continue, "About Hollyleaf."
"Oh." He mews and walks past me to lead the way out of the den. We walk through the night lit camp out to a space in the trees close to the thorn tunnel.
"What's this all about?" Jayfeather asks looking at me, blind blue eyes glowing in the dark.
"I don't think we should lie to Hollyleaf." I mew.
"What? Are you mouse-brained?" He yowls.
"I don't think so," I reply drily, "Have you ever stopped to think about this? I mean it's like going: Hey welcome home! Now we're going to lie to you for the rest of your life! It's horrible!" I hiss.
"Well did you stop to think about what telling her would do? She was happier before she knew! The knowledge of the prophecy, Sol, and the truth about us destroyed her! She has no reason to know about the prophecy now that she's not one of us! StarClan let her start over and I'm going to use all of my power to make sure she's happy; no matter what you do!" Jayfeather's burning words sting me as he stalks away.
Unsure what to do I wander back into camp wondering if Cinderheart will forgive me. Judging from earlier I'd say no. I don't want to go in the warriors den and see Cinderheart with someone else so I walk up to Blossomfall who's on guard duty and hates it.
"Hey if you want to catch some sleep I'll fill in for you." I offer.
"You sure?" she asks doubtfully, but when I nod she mews 'Thanks' and disappears to get some sleep.
I settle into her spot, still warm and let my senses spread out. I am completely focused on protecting my Clan. This is why I was given my power, to protect my Clan in the Clan's darkest hour.
When the next cat comes to relive me (Graystripe) I send him back to the den. I'm not nearly as tired as I should be and I still don't want to see Cinderheart.
I'm still in the tunnel as dawn arrives. The bright light bathes the hollow in a rosy pink. Somehow I am at peace.
At least, for now.