Edgeworth realized why he was thankful that he, unlike Wright, did not have to practically haul a daycare with him wherever he went. And while Maya and Pearl were sweet children to visit with for about…five minutes, after that, one might want their head to suddenly combust -mostly because of Maya. Where Pearl herself was sweet and very respectful, Maya was rash to a fault, said whatever was on her mind and was, in his opinion, quite loud as she asked for ludicrous demands while he was driving.
"Mr. Miles Edgeworth I'm staaaarving!" Maya wailed in the front seat, moving her head around like a broken marionette to add the effect. "Can we PLEEAASE stop to get something to eeeaat?" She moaned as if in pain and then slumped in her chair, her body sliding precariously close from under the safety of her seat belt. Miles just concentrated on the road after he checked she was physically okay.
"Maya please sit up in your chair," he started, flicking the radio station to something else. "And for someone of your age, you need to address me with respect; I do have a title you know-"
"But I even said Mr…" she murmured. Quite suddenly, she perked up. "Hey! There's a burger joint right off the next exit-"
"No." It was assertive, but not condescending; Miles was serious. No one was going to eat in his car. He ignored Maya as she mumbled something most unpleasant under her breath while he kept his eyes on the road, almost passing the exit sign when out of the review mirror, he saw a painful expression on Pearl's face. "Is everything alright Pearl?"
From the concern in his voice, Maya turned around. "Pearly?" Pearl was biting her lip, her legs extremely tightly held together…which could only mean one thing. "Mr. Miles we HAVE to pull over!" she screamed, pointing at her cousin.
"What- why?" he asked, glancing back again. He too realized the signs even before Pearl's soft voice squeaked out, barely audible from the stress of her bladder.
"Mr. E-Edgeworth Sir…I-I n-need to use t-the restroom…"
Miles was not a happy camper. Not only did he have to stop off at that said burger joint he was going to pass, Maya was eating in his car. A big, juicy, greasy burger with dripping condiments and fries smothered in ketchup while Pearl sipped on a vanilla milkshake. Sure, Miles understood Pearl's needs; she was nine years old, and what nine year old wouldn't have to use the restroom? He himself used it while they were there, and while coming out he found that his companions (if one could call them such) were ready to go with a full meal in hand.
And since Maya refused to eat in the establishment, lest waste anymore time that should have been used on his chocolate cake, Miles was driving somewhat in a hunch, hopefully to keep the simmering annoyance at bay while Maya chewed contentedly with her burger, and sometimes talked with her mouth full. He had already reprimanded her twice but of course…she didn't listen.
Oh well. At least he had one small victory, and that was control over the radio. And now, on 84.9 Classical, they were playing one of his favorite pieces: "Estudios de concierto" by composer Manuel Ponce. It was a Mexican piano piece, one that went quite rapid and suddenly would soothe into a pianoforte at times, which would again crescendo into a loud fortissimo-
"What is this?" Maya hollered, her black eyebrows scrunched in confusion. She pointed a slim finger at the radio and scrutinized Mile's taste in music some more. "Why on earth are we on the Classical music channel? We should be listening to some pop music!" And as soon as that sentence was out of her mouth, she shot her hand out and turned the dial so the radio landed on a pop music station.
"Mystic Maya," Pearl started, her eyes looking large and wary, "shouldn't you have asked to change the radio station before just doing it? Mr. Edgeworth might get angry…" Pearl glanced back over at Miles; he had an array of options in front of him: scold Maya for even touching his radio, reprimand her for such rude manners, or do nothing?
Miles sighed. "It's alright Pearl. While Maya should have asked to change the radio, I'm not all that mad…" He nodded towards her, and then to Maya leveled a look in her direction while changing the station back. Edgeworth took some pleasure doing so because her face changed into outrage as she began to protest. "Maya, my dear child-"
"I am NOT a child!" she countered.
"Yes well, the way you behave certainly says otherwise," Miles replied. "You need to act more mature for your age. And I'm sure that you yourself know there are certain ways to act and certain responsibilities you are to assume at a young age. I know; I understand the confusion of growing up in a world so large and different…" And while Edgeworth prattled on, Maya just sat there, her eyes glassed over with boredom, her eyelashes meeting every few seconds to blink. Even Pearls started playing with the hem of her outfit, wondering why Mystic Maya was getting another lecture. "….and so the ways in which a young woman is supposed to act are set out in a couple few guidelines-"
"Uh- Mr. Edgeworth," Maya started, tugging on his sleeve. Miles gave her a look while arching an elegant eyebrow.
"Miss Maya," he also began before she pointed out the front window.
"Mr. Edgeworth…you just zoomed right past our exit!"
Miles sighed. Some days were easier than the others. Today was obviously one of those days where it wasn't…
"Mystic Maya? May I push the shopping cart please?" Pearl asked, looking up at her mentor with large brown eyes. Maya's grin widened as she quickly pulled one out from the curricle and began strolling it towards her cousin.
"Of course you can!" she hollered back, cheerily moving towards Pearl while Edgeworth just watched. A faint smile began to rise on his lips as he stood by and watched the two interact with each other. Originally he only needed to use an arm basket to collect the many staples required for Franziska's cake- but seeing how elated Maya and Pearl were just to be in the store, he opted for using a cart instead. And as he bent down to return said basket, he quickly snapped back to immediate attention as he heard Maya call out "And I'll take this one- we can race each other Pearls! Put your feet up like this!"
Why Miles stood and watched on with horror as Maya instructed Pearl in cart racing, he wouldn't ever find an answer, but he knew this had to stop before chaos could happen.
"Like this?" Pearl asked.
"No, no and NO!" Miles snapped, snatching Maya's cart from her grasp. "We are NOT going to race carts like Romans in a coliseum!"
"Aw, why not Mr. Edgeworth?" Maya whined, stomping her foot for "added" emphasis. Pearls only cocked her head to the side as a new banter was to take place between these two again. "It's not like I was going to hit anyone or something-"
"Maya," Miles stated, pushing the cart back into the curricle from whence it came, "you are a grown woman of 19 years. Please start acting your age. And may I remind you that I decided to take both you and Pearls on as a favor from a friend- NOT, and let me repeat myself- NOT for fun or amusement. I have important business to attend to. And with all of this lollygagging and me having to come up and reprimand you all the time is not going to get the day moving!" Edgeworth had not doubt in his mind that his face was a little pink from being so spent; it was a wonder that Nick had neither wrinkles nor crow's feet upon his visage.
Taking care of these two was a nightmare!
Maya pouted and crossed her arms, for once having nothing to say. Edgeworth raised his brow, expecting a comeback or some sort of verbal refute. Shaking his head after a moment's pause, he leaned back down to Pearls and directed her towards the cart. "Go on ahead and start pushing Pearl."
Pearl looked up and smiled softly at Miles. "Okay sir."
"Tell me if it starts to get too heavy Pearls and I can push-"
"Pfft, as if you could push anything," Maya muttered to herself, treading forward with her arms still crossed. Miles turned and eyed her.
"Come again?"
"Oh nothing!" she replied, offering him a poisonously sweet smile. Breaking from her grumpy mood, Maya sauntered forward, taking a look at all of the wares in the supermarket. "This place is huge! We don't have anything like this in Kurain Village huh Pearls?" Maya added, her eyes growing wide. Besides the brightness of the fluorescent lights, Miles himself was impressed at this supermarket. Spread out in many different aisles were different staples ranging from cupboard ingredients to the freezer section where fish and other meats sat. There was even a bakery center where the scent of fresh cupcakes filled the air. Fresh bread was being wrapped up for a customer, Edgeworth saw, as she paid for her purchase. Other patrons were browsing the glass cases of doughnuts, baguettes and other delicious commodities. Cookies were marked down half price and flour was at a seventy percent discount for today only.
"Looks like we came on a good day huh Mr. Edgeworth?" Maya replied, quickly glancing behind her and winked. Miles nodded, continuing to scan his surroundings. And while he was focusing on the environment, Maya piled in three bags of flour, two cartons of both baking soda and baking powder, a brand new flour sifter, and some toothpicks. "What's next Pearly?" Maya called from behind her, past transgressions already out of her mind. Now, she was concentrated on getting ingredients.
"Um…eggs!"
Leading the way over the linoleum covered aisles, Maya progressed forward, turning her head this way and that. "I don't see any Mr. Edgeworth!" she called behind her, looking genuinely concerned. Miles just chuckled.
"Look up at the signs Maya," he supplied, sticking his hands in his pockets while strolling along. "Eggs belong in the dairy aisle…so that should be-" Maya had already arrived in said aisle and began going towards the egg section.
"Oooh! Look at all these cookies Pearly!" Maya called, ushering Pearl over. "I love chocolate chip! What about you; which is your favorite?"
"Sugar cookies!"
Edgeworth chuckled again and shook his head, silver strands swishing back and forth. He continued to peruse all of the egg selections, trying to decide whether organic eggs or barn laid eggs were better for his cake. "But they might have germs," he mumbled, setting the barn laid eggs back down gently. "Or how about free-range? Definitely not vegetarian eggs; that just doesn't make sense in itself…"
"Get the white eggs Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya (yet again) hollered, gaining stares from other shoppers. Miles only put a finger upon his closed lips, making a "shhh-ing" gesture.
"There's some milk Mystic Maya," Pearl said, looking up at Maya. Her older cousin grinned, patting her on the head.
"Good job! We'll go get the milk while Grandpa over there-" she jutted her thumb back at Edgeworth, emitting a giggle from Pearl, "chooses between eggs." Both girls walked off towards the second half of the same aisle where all the milks and yogurts were stored. "I think we need butter as well…"
Miles Edgeworth was in a pickle. For a man of great brilliance, mundane chores such as grocery shopping were great feats for him.
"The omega-3 eggs are important for a healthy diet," he continued to no one in particular. He picked up another batch: vitamin enhanced. "And these are vitamin enhanced…" He furrowed his brow in thought, trying to distinguish which would be the better option when an elderly woman rolled her creaky cart towards Edgeworth. He took a sidestep, moving over as she began clucking over eggs like a mother hen.
Maybe this woman could be a great adversary in this dire predicament. And speaking of adversaries- where were Maya and Pearls?
"Ah…Excuse me Miss," he started, tapping the elder woman on her shoulder. When she looked up at him from, Miles severely wished he hadn't touched her. For Windy Oldbag was an eccentric old crow who could NEVER keep her mouth closed. That said mouth froze for a moment in a perfect "o" as she touched her cheek. Her sudden change in features never-the-less surprised Miles as she threw her hands up and cooed at him.
"Oh my dear Edgy-poo!"
Windy quickly ensnared him into a vice like hug, rubbing her face all up on his chest and everywhere. She smelled faintly of lavender and prune juice. "My, my, my it has been an AGE Edgy-poo! How have you been my darling?" Edgeworth's cheeks flamed into a tinted pink as shoppers moved around them with a couple of "Awws" and chuckles.
"How adorable…"
"That must be his mother…"
"What a handsome couple!"
That had to stop immediately.
"Windy…as much of a pleasure it is to see you," Edgeworth began, extracting himself from her grasp. He visibly cringed as she snatched up his hand within her wrinkly ones. Her vicarious blue eye shadow stuck out like a sore thumb on her pale skin; her magenta lips didn't help her face either as she puckered up into a pout. She began stroking the top of his hand. Again, he removed himself from her touch.
"I am…ahem, conducting a very serious and important case. It would be most helpful should you step away from my person. I don't want to attract any unnecessary noise that might scare off the person I'm following…"
Immediately, Windy's spine stiffened. Her chest jutted out while she placed on her best (and well practiced) bulldog face while roaring "IS SOMEONE AFTER YOU EDGEWORTH? WHO ARE THEY?"
"N-No, no, please- no one is after me!" he countered back. "But I am just keeping er…a low profile! Yes, and I have worked so hard to stay hidden."
From you indeed I have…
Windy's ire wound down as soon as it rose, for she relaxed and tried to voice out a girlish giggle- which actually came out like a bark. "Oh goodness Edgey-poo! You had me soo worried there for a moment!" With cat like speed, she slinked an arm up through Edgeworth's while tapping the top of the egg cartons that he held. "What are these eggs for darling?" she asked, batting her mascara laden eyelashes. Edgeworth just sighed.
"I am grocery shopping Mrs. Oldbag-"
"CALL ME WINDY!" she playfully cheered, slapping him on the back. From such strength, it was a marvel he didn't fall face first into the eggs. "And you DEFINITELY want the omega-3 enhanced eggs! They taste so much better and are far more handsome…wouldn't you agree?" she added, rubbing up next to him.
Edgeworth almost wanted to laugh through all the absurdity of this. Oh how he really, really wished he could have just gone home and read his English literature. The last person he would have ever wanted to meet right now was flirting with him via egg varieties.
"Mr. Edgeworth! We got the milk already!" a familiar voice called, sounding distant. It seemed like life slowed down to a snail's pace as the 'clip-clop' noise of running wooden sandals came towards him. What happened next was entirely not Mile's fault; Maya wasn't watching where she was running, and Mrs. Windy Oldbag was prattling on about something inane or whatnot. He merely closed his eyes, wishing the elderly woman would just vanish but something else happened all together as Maya crashed into his back. Edgeworth's grip on both egg cartons was quite lax; he watched in silence as the eggs flew out of his hands and splat right into Windy's face.
"YOU NEFARIOUS LITTLE PIECE OF-" Windy began. Edgeworth immediately held up his hand to stall her threat.
"Now I don't believe insults are needed Mrs. Windy," he started, trying to placate the situation. Swirling around, he shot Maya a death glare. "I believe someone owes someone an apology right now," he added, the last part said through gritted teeth. Maya demurely placed the milk into the shopping cart and came forward, her head bent down and her eyes towards the floor. She began wringing her hands while she apologized.
"I'm awful sorry Windbag. I-I didn't mean for Mr. Edgeworth to throw eggs on you…"
"Maya! That is not what I meant! Now apologize!" Miles countered back, looking down his nose at her.
"I'm sorry for running into you Mr. Edgeworth and I'm awful sorry for the eggs falling onto your face…" the apology was almost complete until Maya looked up and gasped. Mrs. Oldbag's makeup was running down her face and egg yolk had been strung in her hair and was dripping off her chin. Maya's serious face had cracked and a smile slipped through; she even giggled for "good" measure.
Maya turned away and quietly snickered to herself. Even Miles himself gave a polite cough to hide his laughter and Pearls looked straight ahead.
"Oooh! You little brat! Why are you with my Edgy-poo in the first place?" Windy retorted, stomping her foot. Her purse almost had nipped Maya's nose off, so she chose to stand over by Edgeworth. "He shouldn't have to drag around snot nosed brats anywhere-AND you RUINEDMYOUTFIT! You havesomenerve Missy, for giggling over there! I oughtatellthisincident to your parents andlet's seewhatTHEY have to say-" Miles rolled his eyes and groaned; it took a lot for something to bother him, but Windy had taken first place.
"Here you are…Windy." He slid in front of Maya, surprising everyone with a calm and very suave voice; he reached into his suit pocket and whipped out a fine silk handkerchief and began dabbing her nose. "I apologize for all that has befallen you Miss. It is a shame- I can't believe this has happened…"
"Oh my…Edgey-poo!" Mrs. Oldbag started, flustered by all of this attention. Maya looked as if she was about to gag while Pearls just watched on with confusion. She came over towards Maya, who stood by their cart and tugged on the hem of her sleeve.
"What's going on?" she asked, looking up at Maya. Maya didn't respond, as she was watching Mile's eyes point to somewhere way far over there. Maya started pushing the cart away while moving herself and Pearl away from the situation. "Where are we going?"
"We'll wait up front Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya replied, winking over at him. Miles nodded- thank goodness Maya was a smart child (if only sometimes).
"Of course," he murmured, turning his full attention back to his situation at hand. "Again, I don't know how I could ever make up this incident to you Miss Oldbag. If there is anything that I can do, please tell me…" He smiled lightly at her and it seemed as if she swooned.
"Goodness Edgy-poo! You sure are sweet on me! I'll just clean myself up with your handkerchief- would that be alright hm?"
"Of course!" he added with extra emphasis. "Keep it- as a memento. I will go and retrieve for you some assistance- don't go anywhere…" Windy Oldbag was too flustered and happy as she joyfully wiped off egg yolk from her face. She didn't notice Miles snatch up a case of standard white eggshell eggs and quickly slink off in the other direction.
"Oh Edgeworth darling-" she began, completely unaware she was alone in the dairy aisle, covered in egg, by herself. She glanced around- where was he? "Edgy-poo? Oh Eeeedgy-poo….?" An announcement over the intercom came on that made her blood boil:
Clean up on Aisle Eight. Clean up on Aisle Eight please.
"GOSH DARN IT EDGEWORTH!" She yelled out loud for everyone to hear, throwing down his handkerchief and stomping on it for all it was worth. "I just CANNOT believe he left ME here! THAT HANDSOME GOODFORNOTHING JERK! WHERE DID HE GOANDWHERE IS HE?"