In the darkness of everybody's li-
"Schuester! You messing with my woman?" the voice of Carl Howell yelled throughout the auditorium. The glee director stood up, looking nervous.
"I..." he drew out.
"I thought we had a deal." Carl then said before Mr. Schuester's face morphed and paused into one of the funniest faces Dylan had ever seen. He was currently standing half behind a cardboard bush dressed as a Transylvanian for 'There's A Light' when Carl came barging in. Dylan then decided to backtrack to what happened a week ago when this whole thing started.
0000000000
Everyone was sat in the choir room, discussing Halloween where Dylan heard Brittany tell Kurt she was going to be a peanut allergy. Cue Mr. Schuester.
"Great news, guys. I've had a little inspiration. This week's musical lesson isn't really a lesson, it's a musical." He said.
"Please be Evita, please be Evita, please be Evita." Rachel whispered, praying.
"Rocky Horror." Mr. Schuester then said and Dylan smiled. Although quite risqué, Rocky Horror was up there in his favorite Broadway musicals.
"I've never seen it." Finn said. Dylan looked to Hudson.
"Probably wouldn't understand it, Hudson. I mean it's definitely an R rated musical and you're PG-13." Dylan said with a smirk on his face. Finn turned to the front, a look of stone on his face.
"Mr. Schue?" Rachel asked.
"Yep?" the teacher answered.
"While I admire your choice of the groundbreaking 70s musical, aren't you worried that the adult themes might be a point of controversy? I mean, like Dylan said it's most definitely a risqué musical." Rachel said.
"Seriously. A school in Texas couldn't even do Rent. Caused an outrage and they had to cancel the show." Kurt added on.
"Isn't that the whole point of the Arts? Pushing boundaries. Doing things people say you can't do for the sake of self expression?" Will then asked and Dylan nodded a little, although he wasn't sure this was his proper motive to do Rocky Horror. Nevertheless, the blonde dancer was excited to do it.
Mr. Schue then handed out permission slips before he started casting.
"Oh. Finn and I will play Brad and Janet." Rachel said and Will nodded before writing it down. Jack argued that he was better suited for Brad but Mr. Schuester just continued writing.
"And I'll be playing the guy in the wheelchair, right?" Artie asked and Dylan smiled, patting his shoulder. Now that the AV club member wasn't dating Brittany anymore, Dylan felt a lot more at ease with Artie.
"That's what I was thinking. And I thought Kurt could play the role of Frank-N-Furter." Will said and Dylan sniggered, a hand quickly covering his mouth at the image of Kurt as Frank-N-Furter.
"Mmm, no. There is no way I'm playing a transvestite in high heels and fishnets and wearing lipstick." Kurt said.
"Why? Because that look was last season?" Santana asked and Dylan laughed.
"Yeah, come on Kurt. You'd so look amazing in that costume." Dylan said before laughing again.
"I'll do it." Mike then spoke up.
"Really? That's like the male lead." Tina said to her boyfriend.
"I know but I'm feeling a little more confident about my singing voice after our duets project." Mike replied.
"Great, I have no problem with that. Now we're a little short on female roles so we're going to have to double up on Columbias and Magentas." Will said, referring to Quinn and Santana for Magenta and Tina, Brittany and Mercedes for Columbia.
"It's standard practice on Broadway. It'll preserve your voices." Rachel said with Jack nodding, smiling to the Broadway protégé.
"I'd like to preserve you. In a jar. In my basement." Mercedes said and Dylan laughed again.
"Sam, I'd like you to play the role of The Creature." Will then said.
"From the Black Lagoon?" Sam asked. Dylan rolled his eyes.
"Rocky." He said with Quinn's voice almost harmonizing before Quinn carried on saying: "Rocky, he's like the Frankenstein character but blond. You'll kill the part. He's cute just like you."
"Better start working on those abs." Santana said to the blonde football player.
"Are you kidding me? You could cut glass with these babies. I've got no problem showing off my body." Sam said.
"Alright, Mitchell and Jack you can understudy for Sam. And Dylan you can be Eddie." Will said and Dylan smiled. Eddie was probably one of his favourite characters on the show. And 'Hot Patootie' was probably his favourite song in the show.
"No problem." Dylan said.
"Okay. Looks like we've got ourselves a show." Will said and there was applause heard.
0000000000
"Alright, places Finn and Rachel. I'm gonna start with 'Damn It, Janet'." Will said and Finn and Rachel stood up, taking their places.
"I cannot wait until Finn takes his top off so we can all see the hot mess underneath." Santana said with a smirk. Dylan smirked at this.
"What are you talking about?" Finn asked in his usual dopey voice.
"You can't have Sloppy Joes every day for lunch and think you can get away with it." Brittany said. Finn was poking his stomach after this and Dylan tried his best to hold in laughter.
"Um, that's incredibly rude." Rachel said, defending her boyfriend.
"Is it? Guys whisper behind our backs about how we girls look every day. They objectify us all the time." Quinn said. Dylan could see Kurt nodding and he couldn't help but agree. Dylan was sure he had heard Artie mentioning something about emu eggs before and he immediately linked it to that.
"She sort of has a point." Tina said.
"Yeah, earlier today Artie asked if he could make a gigantic omelette when I'm done with the ostrich eggs I'm smuggling in my bra." Santana said.
Ostrich eggs! That was it! Dylan thought over Jack's hysterical laughter.
"I'm super looking forward to seeing Sam in his gold bikini." Brittany then said and Dylan couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.
"It's going to be ab-ulous." Sam said. Dylan scowled but was thankfully unseen as Finn, surprisingly, saved the day.
"Can we get on with rehearsal, please?" he asked.
"Yeah." Rachel added on.
"I agree, yes, let's stay focused guys. Riff Raff, Columbia and Magenta Team 1, take your places. Let's rock and roll." Will said as Kurt, Mercedes and Quinn took their places and 'Damn It, Janet' was rehearsed. Overall, it went pretty good…until Sue was cast as the criminologist. Then Mr. Schue dismissed everyone and Dylan headed to soccer practice.
0000000000
"You get up on that stage and look like the Pillsbury doughboy, no way you're staying popular. Come on, let's do some squats." Sam said and Finn stood up. Just then, Dylan had walked in with his soccer shirt in his hand.
"Yo, DA." Artie said, fist bumping Dylan.
"Artie, I'm not Dumbledore's Army." Dylan said and the boys laughed before Dylan started on push-ups. Finn was watching as Sam guided him through a squat.
"How do you keep in shape?" Finn asked.
"Soccer, swimming, boxing and an hour long jog. My weekly fitness regime. I do eat pretty well but with the occasional 'sin' here and there." Dylan said. Finn sighed.
"I feel like I'm going to lose the Brad role now." Finn said.
"Don't feel glum, Hudson. I don't wanna be Brad. Sure he's the main character and all but I'm happy with Eddie. He's one of my favourite roles in a Broadway musical." Dylan said, standing up. Finn was staring at Dylan's stomach before looking down to his own.
"I gotta lay off the Sloppy Joes." Finn said and Dylan laughed.
"Come on, man. I may not like you as much as others but as far as glee members go for Brad, you're probably the best pick. Although Jack seems to think differently." Dylan said and Finn let out a little laugh.
"Just work out for about 2 hours a day and eat right, you should be good." Dylan said before putting his shirt back on, grabbing his backpack and leaving.
"2 hours a day?" Finn asked, baffled.
0000000000
Dylan wanted to kill Sue Sylvester. In her rewrites, she eliminated Eddie which meant Dylan was only understudying for Finn. And Mike had dropped out as Frank-N-Furter so they couldn't do the show anyway. But apparently she had found a replacement and Dylan couldn't help but laugh at Mr. Schuester's face when Dr Carl Howell aka. The boyfriend of Mr. Schue's ex (who he was still in love with) walked in and said he wanted to audition.
"I don't understand." He said, looking a little intimidated and frightened at the same time.
"Well, you guys have a hole to fill and I'm just trying to help fill it." Carl replied.
"Wanky." Santana said and Dylan kept a laugh in, high-fiving the Cheerio. Mr. Schuester then went on to say he had to try out and then he sang 'Hot Patootie'. Dylan would've been more pissed if Brittany hadn't pulled him out of his seat to dance with her in the number whilst Mitchell was dancing with Santana. Dylan was too into the dancing to really care about what happened next.
Apparently Sue said they needed a Frank-N-Furter, not an Eddie. And Mr. Schuester and Dr. Howell nearly had a beatdown until Mercedes stepped in and volunteered to be Frank-N-Furter. And there was an Eddie and a Frank-N-Furter.
"Wait, wait, wait. We already had an Eddie before you wrote him off. Dylan was going to play him." Mr. Schuester said.
"No, Mr. Schue. It's fine. I guess I can do the underwear scenes for Finn if he doesn't have the confidence and I'll just be in the background. I'll be fine." Dylan said and Mr. Schuester sighed before nodding.
"Fine." He said and everyone applauded.
0000000000
The curtains parted for the first dress rehearsal.
"Uh, Mr. Schue?" Finn asked, raising his hand. The director along with Miss Pillsbury, who is now costume maker and has done a pretty damn good job with them, looked to Finn.
"I know I'm supposed to be in my underwear for this scene - and I'm totally down with that." Finn said and Dylan rolled his eyes.
"I'd just thought maybe I would save it for the opening if that's okay." Finn then said.
"Well, if you have enough confidence in the opening, Finn that's fine but if you don't now then we'll have Dylan do it seeing as he does have confidence with himself now." Mr. Schuester said and Dylan raised his eyebrows before shrugging and heading onstage, proceeding to put his glasses on.
"Mr. Schuester is that a good idea? I mean, we don't even know if Dylan is comfortable enough in his own body." Rachel said.
"Oh trust me, he is. And he has a reason to. Dude's got serious pecs." Artie said, which Dylan laughed at and he fist bumped the wheelchair-bound boy as the dancer passed him. He then removed his white wife beater, showing his back, stomach, chest and arm muscles which gained wolf whistles from the girls. Rachel just looked on, mouth agape and eyes wide whilst Finn skulked offstage. Dylan just smiled to the girls whilst throwing his wife beater to Brittany, who caught it and grinned before she started hugging it.
"Also, Miss Pillsbury. Is there a way I could…wear like some gold board shorts or something? These are really short. I'm afraid I'm gonna…show off some nuttage." Sam said, walking on. Mitchell then walked on.
"Yeah, these are a little tight, Miss Pillsbury." Mitchell called out.
"Oh, quit your whining." A voice called out and Jack Harmon walked onstage in his Rocky costume.
"These are fine…although I have to admit, they do pinch my twins." Jack then said.
"Well-" Emma said before Will cut her off.
"We can't stop guys. It's a dress rehearsal. We're already behind as it is with the Brad change. Come on, keep going. And…action." Will said before Rachel and Dylan went into 'Sweet Transvestite'. It went pretty damn good until Carl burst in during the wrong scene. Dylan couldn't help but roll his eyes. This just proved that Carl wasn't right for Eddie.
0000000000
"We're still going to perform Rocky Horror. We're just not doing it for an audience. We're doing it for ourselves." Will said and Dylan applauded.
Now as Dylan (dressed as Perry Bedden in the movie) started up 'Time Warp' on his electric guitar on the balcony onstage, he watched as everyone performed below him. He couldn't help but grin as he watched Brittany sing and dance in that Columbia costume. She looked like a dream and red was definitely her color. He should know, he stares at her long enough when she's in the Cheerios uniform.
When the song continued and everyone was stood in a lone at the front, Dylan leapt from the balcony with his black Fender Telecaster in hand and landed on his two feet before dancing around everyone as they sang and danced. When it ended, Dylan was stood at the front as he strummed the last chord and as Mr Schuester rose applauding, everyone stood up, headed to the front and bowed before continuing the next scene.
0000000000
This is a short chapter but it was longer than I expected as I was writing it :P
'Never Been Kissed' is quite a big episode for Dylan but not too big. But watch this space anyway :)
Reviews are like crack to me. Like Kurt and his makeovers.