Chapter 17:
I woke up feeling groggy and tired. I sat up straight and my head killed. Dang, what happened? I looked around expecting to see the clearing from the battle and Bella, but I saw a tiny room, and I sat on an operating table. I had a tank top and a skimpy pair of shorts on and I immediately went to look at my stomach. The bruise was gone, but in its place was a defined bump. I ran my fingers along it and I almost cried. Edward was right. I sat up straight, expecting it to be just from slouching, but it remained. I heard someone cough and I turned to see Riley sitting in a tiny metal chair on the right side of the bed. Immediately I threw my arms around him and I felt the tears sting my eyes.
"Oh goddess, Ri, it wasn't a dream. You're here! You're alive. How long have I been out?" I cried happily as I clutched him with all my might. I was afraid that at any moment he would disappear and I would loose him again. He chuckled a little and clutched me back. My brother, my brother is here! I couldn't help the squeal of glee that escaped my lips. "Has anyone seen you, is everyone okay? Oh god they must be so happy! Mom and dad get their little boy back; you don't know how much things have changed since you left. We hardly ever see them now, but I am sure they will be happy you're here. They will just like-"
"Mia, calm down. You've been unconscious for about a week." He smiled as she shushed me by putting a finger to my lips to stop my babbling. A week? Wow. I smiled shyly and I felt a tear escape my eye. I could see Riley was genuinely scared for a fraction of a second. What could he be scared of. Before I could ask he smiled happily and brought me back into his arms. I couldn't help but breath in his scent. Despite the sweet vampire smell, it's still the same. "A lot has changed since I have been gone, huh? Speaking of which, you're pregnant? Now, young lady, last time I heard you hadn't even kissed a boy."
"He's…important. It was the right time, with the right guy. He's forever, Ri, ya know? No one has ever made me feel like he makes me feel. I feel…special, and loved, and accepted. He's beautiful, and selfless, and more than I deserve. I love him." I said with my head down, completely embarrassed I admitted that to my older brother. My hand absentmindedly went to my stomach and I felt a tiny flutter. Riley pulled me to stand up and helped me into normal clothes and he started shoving me toward the door.
"Carlisle says you're healthy and everything is normal, well you know other than the baby. Go and get your guy, I know you're dying to see him." Riley said as he hugged me and shoved me into a lightweight jacket. I hugged him roughly before I took off in the direction of the mustang I had kept here constantly. My heart was racing and I realized I hadn't see Jake in a week and I felt anxious. I felt the baby flutter in my stomach and I stared down at it. How could I be this pregnant this fast? I mean it's been two weeks since I had sex, and 3 weeks since I had first started. But I mean, we used a….and we only forgot to wear one once….when Jake had been all romantic and stuff, but that was only two weeks ago.
I knew the witch gene was going to speed up the pregnancy, but to look at least 4 months in only 2 weeks sounds completely impossible. Could I care for a child? Yes, I could and I can and I will. This child, my child and Jake's child, our child. I liked the sound of it. Would Jake be upset? Would he deny the child? Would he be happy? Could I convince him to be a dad for our child? Can I protect my child and Jake and Bella? Would Bella be disgusted by me? Would she deny having anything to do with me? What will mom and Dad think?
I am going to drive myself crazy with these questions! My mind was in overdrive. I had never thought this would happen. I didn't want it to, but now that I have her/him I can't imagine living without him/her. The ride to La Push seemed to fly by as my mind raced with baby names. I was almost faint when I pulled into the Black's familiar drive way and I saw the small little red house. I could remember the first time I was here. Jake thought it was odd I called his sisters hot. I sighed. As I jumped out of the warm car and to the Black's front door, I felt very sick and very aware. I knocked 3 times before I saw Billy sitting in all of his glory in the door. I smiled.
"Hey, Billy, is Jake here? I am finally awake and I ran right here to see him." I said eagerly as I watched his face go from sad to scared. I could see the fear written on his face as I talked about Jake and I knew something was up. I looked at him hesitantly now, waiting for the bad news. "Billy, what's wrong? Where's Jake? Is he okay? Is he still hurt?"
"Mia, I don't know how to tell you this. Well, Jake left-"
"Oh, well that's a relief, do you think I could wait for him here till he-" I started.
"No, Mia, he left. He got real upset, and I think he needed time for Jake. I don't know when he will be back-" I took off. I ran from the tiny front porch to the growing forest. I could hear Billy screaming for me to come back. But I couldn't think of that. Jake. Left. He left me, after he promised he wouldn't. He left our child, the time I need him the most he leaves. I could physically feel my heart tear out and I could feel tears streaming down my face. My Jake left me. He left with no goodbye, no 'I love you' nothing.
Had he even cared about me, us I thought as I felt my hand go to my stomach, at all? Was he prepared for a life with me, us, or was it just a sick joke? Was it just a sick game he liked to play with girls? I couldn't even begin to feel and describe the pain my body was thrown into. I would miss everything about him. His cute little purr when we kissed. His bright and happy eyes. His beautiful smile that could warm my heart. His warmth in general. Him. Would he ever come back? Would I forgive him if he came back?
"It's okay, honey, we will get through this. I will make sure we are safe." I whispered down to my stomach. The baby fluttered and I couldn't help but giggle. I was surprised that I hadn't had one moment of doubt yet. I didn't want to give up my child, and I know I can take care of my child, no matter what. I wasn't in shock, which was a plus. Two traumatic events in one day, one good and one bad. But what will I do if he never comes back? I didn't even want to think of that. I shuttered at the thought.
Even if he came back, what if it is years? What if our child is already grown and had gone through a life without a father? What will I do during the pregnancy alone? Without the father of the child inside of me? I only now realized there is a child, my child, growing inside of me, and the babies father is no where to be seen. Could I last alone without him throughout my life? Would any of my family want me now that I have this child? Would the pack shun me now that Jake is gone?
Jake was the best thing that ever happened to me. I hadn't been as happy even when I got my first power. Or when I first talked to my goddess. Could I be happy now that I am alone? How can I protect my Bella and be pregnant. I had always been fine with dying if it meant Bella lived, but now that I have a child what can I do? I sighed. I saw a tiny little camp site with a nice dry log bench. I walked over and I let out a loud cry in pain.
I shrieked when I heard a loud rustling in the bushes near by, but I calmed when I saw it was just Seth. He gave me a scared look as he walked over and sat next to me on the bench. He could see something was wrong, and he protectively put a comforting arm around my shoulders. He knew that Jake left, and I could see it in his eyes as he sent me sympathy looks. I felt really mad for a second.
"What's wrong, Mi?" He asked seriously as he held me close and kissed my forehead. Such a brotherly move by someone I hadn't gotten very close too. It seemed like the whole pack watched over me like I am a kid, who only made me angrier and made me want to do what Jake did and be a coward. I felt tears bubble to my eyes but I didn't let them fall. It amazed me that Seth and I are actually the same age, me being a month older than him.
"He left me, Seth. He left his child-" Seth's eyes popped out when I said that and he looked down at my stomach, which was conveniently shown in the tight shirt Riley had forced me into. "And me and he didn't even say goodbye or that he loved me. I had given that boy my heart and he crushed it like nothing. He was the one person I had let my guard down too and now I doubt I can ever trust someone again. He crushed very ounce of strength I had built up and he left me. He lied to me, and he went against the one promise I wanted him to keep. I am left here to care for his child without his/her father here. What am I gonna do without him, Seth?"
"You're preg-pregnant?" He squeaked out. I nodded sadly and I brought his hand to the center of my now big stomach. His eyes widened when the baby kicked like crazy. He smiled as he held my hand and rubbed circles on my back to calm me. I smiled sadly at him. It is like Seth to focus on one thing and forget everything else. "Mia, you aren't alone. You have the whole pack and the Cullens behind you. Everything will be fine. Jake will be back, he just needs to blow off some steam."
"How long till then? A week, a month, two months, a year, multiple years? Seth, I can't do this without him. I can't raise our child without him, and I don't want my baby growing up without a father. All of you are amazing and I really don't deserve such a caring family, but I can't do this without Jake. My life has revolved around Jake for a month now and I can't just let him leave. What if he never comes back? There is only so much time before the Cullens have to move and then I have to go with them. Bella is my life, and I can't let her leave without going with them. And if he isn't here, then I might loose him forever. I don't even know why he left."
"Mia, you know he won't be able to be away from you for a that long. I'm sure he'll be back in no time. If you want, I can phase and see where he is, I can tell him to come back-" before he even finished his sentence he jumped up and started over to the trees behind. I grabbed his hand desperately. I knew that I didn't want him coming back like that. I want him coming back because he wants to, not because he has to. If he left willingly, then he wanted to leave, and I won't stop him.
"Please, no, Seth. Don't say anything about me, even if he asks. If he left willingly, then he wanted to leave, and I am not going to make him come back." I begged him. He sighed and sat back down. I begged him with my eyes not to say a word, but Seth is stubborn. He pulled me into his and we sat there, just waiting, for nothing. I was glad Seth had found me. I knew he was the easiest of the pack to tell things to.
"Mies, you gotta talk to him. You're his imprint; he has to know what's going on with him. Come on, I am sure you would love to know where he is-" Again he jumped up, but this time I couldn't stop him before he phased. Immediately I forced my mind into the packs and I could see Paul, Leah, and Sam were doing patrol. I could see Jake's mind like it was my own. He was running, faster than I had ever seen him. His paws were muddy and I could see his fur was getting long again. The wilderness around him was rushing by so it looked like a green blur.
"Seth, no!" I hissed at him. I could see in his mind everyone hesitated, and Jake had stopped completely when he heard me through Seth's mind. I covered my stomach, making sure he had no view of it. I could see everyone's curiosity and I almost cried. I could see the worry in Paul and Leah's mind and Jake growled possessively. I glared over at Seth and I could see everyone watching, but Jake had started running again. "Seth, phase back! I told you no! He can't know!"
"Seth, what's going on?" All three other than Seth asked, although only Sam actually voiced the question in his thoughts. I could see Sam was worried, and again Jake growled. I let out a haunted laugh and I could see Seth flinch. He started to replay what had happened when he found me out here, crying my eyes out, but I used all my power to force his mind away. I let out a chocked cry.
"Seth, don't make me force you! Phase back! I said no! This isn't your battle. No one can know! Phase Back!" My voice was raspy and I could feel the tears strolling down my face, and I could see the pack getting ancy as they watched me yell at Seth. I begged him with my eyes and I hated how I looked in his eyes. I looked weak and needy, and I hated it. "Please, Seth."
I could see in his mind him asking why. I had enough. I thought hard and I started whispering the old spell my grandma had taught me. As he stared at me, I saw a huge white spot vanish his view form me, any thought concerning me was vanished from Jake's view. I could see Sam and Leah worrying, but I ignored it. I made sure anything about me was gone. I still saw Jake running and suddenly everything in was furious. I ripped off the necklace he had given me and I threw it to the ground. Seth whined and picked it into his mouth as he trotted after me.
"Seth, get away." I whispered as my body was shaking and it felt very strong. My thoughts were running wild and my stomach felt sick. I could feel the wind picking up around me and my hair was whipping furiously. The wind was wild and everything was blurry. I could see Seth whimper and he ran at me. I whipped back and I could feel myself becoming something I dreaded. I hated this me. Everything in me was screaming to stop, to think straight. I groaned. I let out one loud splitting scream and I felt myself switching back.
I forced Seth to go to Emily's and tell her I would be there later, he left with many complaints. I didn't want to fight now. I sat on the little bench and I dropped my head in my hands. I hated this! I never thought I would have to face Jake leaving. I should have known when that vision came. I never should have trusted him to stay.
"Why did you leave, Jake? How can I do this without you? Why would you leave me alone?" I said quietly. I didn't want to live without my Jake. I can't live without my Jake. I knew that the Cullens would be happy, and as my thoughts raced, I already knew who the godmothers would be. Rosalie and Leah. I smiled as I thought of a perfect baby girl's name, Leah-Rose. Leah-Rose Isabelle Black. A boy's name would be harder. I had never been good with boy's names. "So much for ever after." I scoffed.
"You aren't alone, you got Me." I heard Paul's familiar voice from behind me. I jumped up and jumped into his arms. He hugged me tightly and I knew Paul would be the one to be here. We started walking back to Billy's house and he sighed. I could see something was bothering him and I knew it wasn't good. I stopped him and I forced him to look at me.
"What's wrong?" I asked seriously. His eyes trailed down to my stomach and I knew. I crossed my arms and sighed. I knew the pack would be a little put off about the whole pregnancy thing. I mean Sam and Emily have been together for almost a year and they haven't even thought of kids. But here I am a month with a guy and knocked up. I had always said I wasn't that person. The one who gets married young and has a kid before college. I knew right then that Paul hated it. I sighed and hugged him and he smiled sadly as we walked back.
He tried to joke about it, to cheer me up, and I happily obliged. Anything to take my mind off this horrid day. I could always count on Paul when I needed him.