Chapter 18:
Paul walked me back to Jaco-Billy's and I got my car. We drove back to the Cullen's house. Paul was joking the whole time and we thought of baby names. How did I deserve Paul as a best friend? I don't. He's too good for me. I thought Jacob was too good for me too. And I think deep down he is. But why would he leave me? Did he finally realize I didn't deserve him? He couldn't because of the imprint, though. And he had to love me because of it in the first place. What would he do if he didn't imprint on me? Would he have fought harder for Bella? Bella's too good for me too. I should have been the one to leave. I don't deserve anything in life.
"Paul, how does imprint work?" I asked after a short pause. He sighed sadly and looked over at me. I looked down, ashamed. I need to get over Jacob, but how can I when we shared a never-ending bond that goes both ways with us. Just like Bella is my task, I could never leave her, just like Jacob is my task. I can never forget the whole he put in my heart. "Why would he leave me, Paul? I mean, I know I don't deserve him; hell I don't deserve anyone in my life. I deserve the dirt they walk on. And I wonder if he finally realized that, but why now? What did I do to make him leave me and our child?"
"Mi, you deserve better than him. He doesn't deserve you. You didn't do anything, he was just an idiot. I know I could never leave you..." He said as he looked out the window and I saw he didn't mean to say the last part. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. Paul is the sweetest guy a girl could have, and I can't wait til he gets someone who will make him happy. Although no one could deserve Paul, he's too good for anyone. And he's way too good for me.
"Paul, you are too sweet. I'm so lucky to have a best friend like you." I smiled genuinely and admitted. He looked embarrassed for a minute and smiled. I could see the blush on his cheeks until something dawned on him. He looked at me sheepishly and then sighed sadly.
"Yeah, best friend... that's it." He said sadly as we drove to the Cullens and pulled into the driveway. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I thought back to the past hours. Paul ran over and opened the door for me as I tried to sit up with my belly. I'm not obnoxiously big, but I do have a prominent stomach. Paul only laughed and heaved me up and held an arm around my waist. I sighed and walked up the door just as Alice swung it open and jumped into my arms.
"You're having a baby!" She squealed and rubbed my stomach. I just laughed and nodded. Paul growled and stepped back. I could see he was shaking and I put a comforting hand on his arm. He calmed down instantly, smiling gratefully at me. I smiled back and Alice dislodged herself from me as I pulled Paul into the Cullens house. I saw Jasper and Emmett playing video games, and instantly Jasper was by my side and hugging me. I smiled and gave him a quick hug as Paul pulled me back to his side. I just rolled my eyes. Carlisle and Esme came into the room from the kitchen and each kissed my cheek, along with Rosalie. Edward and Bella walked into the room and I sighed visibly.
"Bella, thank god you're safe!" I relaxed. I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. My task is safe. At least that is still good. She just smiled and sat on the couch with Edward. I could see they all noticed my stomach, and they didn't hide it. Of course the girls were gushing about the shopping chances and having a baby around. I could hear Paul telling the pack to get my family and come here because there was news about me. I sighed and leaned onto Paul's side. He held me by my waist and pulled me to the couch and into his lap. Riley ran down the stairs and smiled, I just gave him sad look.
"Mia, do you mind if I run a quick test? To see if the baby is healthy and all." Carlisle asked sincerely. I nodded gratefully and pulled me upstairs, pulling Paul with me. We walked into his study and he had me lay down on the medical bed. Carlisle got out about 3 medical bags and a big machine with the wand, which I assumed to be the ultrasound machine. "I imagine that Jacob is the father?"
"Yes." I whispered. I layed my head on Paul's shoulder and all I wanted to do was cry, but I had to be strong. I could hear Jasper downstairs wondering about my emotions. My Jacob left me. He left his child that neither of us knew about. I have to go through this alone, without him. Without the father and my boyfriend, mate, task, and used to be hopeful husband. All the dreams I had about us are gone, over. Even if he came back, how could I forgive him? He broke the one promise I asked him to keep.
"Should I see if he will come, I assume you two are still…" He trailed off, not looking at me until he saw the solemn look on my face. He saw that I was broken and hurt and something was wrong. And something is, I'm alone and my Jacob left. He's not even my Jacob anymore. He's just Jacob, someone else's Jacob now. He is going to make someone else happy, not me. He's not going to be here for his child. The one that he helped create.
"No…. uhum he left, I don't know where he went or when he will be back." I said sadly as I clutched Paul for dear life. Right now he is all that I have. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed my forehead. No one could possibly know how much loosing a task hurts, especially a mated task. The only thing that would hurt more would be loosing Bella, which I plan on not letting happen.
"Well, you still have us, and who knows, maybe he'll be back before we know it." Carlisle said as he continued to take all kinds of tests. When he put the cold gel on my stomach I gasped and held Paul's hand so tight it hurt. He held me just as tight and smiled as he saw the picture on the monitor. I kept my head buried in his shoulder, afraid of what I might see. He leaned to my ear and whispered to look. I sighed and looked up. My baby was on the monitor, healthy and alive. I created this little miracle. And I couldn't bring myself to regret anything as I looked at my baby. "It's a little early but we should be able to tell the sex within the day with the rate your child is growing."
"Is my baby healthy? Please tell me my baby is healthy." I whispered to Carlisle. He smiled and nodded.
"The baby is perfectly healthy, and it looks like you are about 20 weeks. May I ask when you and Jacob had last been intimate?" Carlisle asked in his professional doctor tone. I felt my cheeks flush and I looked down. Oh god, right in front of Paul. Although, I am sure he is not a virgin himself, it is weird saying it with your best friend next to you. I saw Paul blush himself and excuse himself from the room. Grateful, I looked up at Carlisle and sighed. I thought back.
"Well, about a week and a half ago, but we were safe, the only time we weren't was 3 weeks ago. How could a baby grow in 3 weeks, Carlisle? It's not possible." I explained. He wrote everything down, and I knew that everyone in the house was listening. And I felt extremely bad for Edward since he was probably reading my thoughts and I could see everything that had happened with Jacob and I. I muttered a sorry in my head and I could hear him chuckle. I could hear Emmett let out a booming laugh at my thoughts after Edward explained.
"Well, you are a witch, Mia, you are barely 15 but you look 18 and you're as mature as a middle aged woman. Also think about Jacob being a werewolf. The genes of a witch and werewolf together could make the fetus grow at an extreme rate. The moment of conception was probably at an accelerated rate too. I estimate the baby will be only be in your womb for about another month or two before it's fully-grown. I would guess that the baby could probably hear and understand everything we are saying. I wouldn't use your powers, though. It seems to cause stress on the baby." Carlisle explained and it all made sense, of course I knew the witch theory.
"Carlisle, I'm scared. What if I am a horrible mother. I don't want to screw this baby up. I want her or him to be happy and healthy and safe. And what if Jake never comes back? I can't raise this child alone." I admitted the fears that were going through my head. What if something happens and it's my fault? I will never be able to forgive myself. And what if Jacob really doesn't come back?
"Mia, you do not need to be scared. You will be an amazing mother, and we will be here for you. You are not alone." Carlisle said as he wrapped me into a fatherly embrace. It meant so much for him to say that and I knew he meant it. I hugged him back and took a deep breath. I had an idea brewing in my head and I was ready to ask.
"Carlisle, I want to ask you something… you are more of a father than mine had ever been to me, and I was wondering if you would maybe be one of my baby's grandfather? And course Esme would be the grandmother." As I asked a look of pride went onto his face and he nodded. I smiled and sighed with relief. We hugged once more and he continued the exam. He took blood, another ultrasound, and a bunch of other tests that almost put me to sleep. Finally, I was able to go downstairs and as soon as I opened the door, Paul pulled me into his arms, grabbed my chin, and brought his lips to mine. I was surprised at first, and I couldn't bring myself to not kiss him back.
I just lost the love of existence and my best friend was here, kissing me and comforting me, even though he knew and respected that I lost one of his friends too. He pulled back and looked into my eyes and I saw the love and adoration he had hid very well. He sighed and pulled me downstairs. When I hit the last step, John and Will pulled me into their arms. Lizzi was behind and she hugged me just as tight. Then it was the pack that held me tight, knowing that Jacob was gone. They saw my stomach and I saw the shock written on their faces.
"You-r Preg-pregnant? How?" Leah asked as she fell back onto the couch in shock. I laughed and walked over, and grabbed her hand as I took deep breaths. I explained again to everyone what Carlisle and I's theory was about the baby. Everyone was in shock. I could tell everyone was a little uncomfortable about the idea of me and Jake together and now having a child so young, but what could I say? I was in love? Look how much good that did me now.
"Well, who knew Jake had it in him. We thought he would be the 20-year-old virgin, and he actually did it more than once! I bet he cried though, did he stop 10 minutes through? I bet you faked it." Quil laughed and everyone else just laughed with him. Except Paul. I could feel the blush creep onto my cheeks. I could see Bella give me a smirk and a raised eyebrow. I just stuck out my tongue.
". Quil. Let's not forget that he left. And an hour and a half and no faking was necessary." I said as I winked at him and the pack broke into loud booming laughter. I could see Paul look uncomfortable and I instantly felt bad. I tightened my grasp on his hand and I saw him sigh. Only Edward and Leah seemed to notice the exchange and Leah smiled sadly. I could see Edward was going to ask me about it later. He knew what had just happened, and I could tell he was watching Paul's mind. I opened my mind up and thought over to him.
"Edward, please, it's nothing. He's my best friend. Nothing is going on; please don't tell Bella, or even Jake if he ever comes back. It was a fluke. I can't focus on that now, it's crunch time now." I thought over, and he seemed surprised at first. We had only rarely had thought conversations, mostly because I couldn't risk him seeing the future for anything. Everything had to stay just with me. Well, now I must speak with Riley, because if he has his powers, we must unlock them.
That only made me thinks of Riley before he had been changed, before he was missing. When he was the gangly teenager who had a good head on his shoulders whose parents adored him. He was perfect, perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect looks, girlfriend, everything. Mom and Dad even got him a car before they did John. And he was just like me. Of course my powers were so much more advanced by the time I was 12. He only had minimal stuff, he could grab stuff with his mind, control things, make fire. I had at least a dozen more powers by then. But it doesn't matter now. He's a vampire, his powers could be frozen, and he could loose all rights to them, vampires are Nyx's children too, and she loves Ri, but she can't grant a vampire powers.
"He's not just your best friend, Mies. He's deeply in love with you. It feels so much like an imprint, you don't understand. Jacob is your soul mate, you must set Paul straight if you are going to be with Jacob when he gets back." He thought back. But do I want to be with him? He left me because he still loves Bella, if that were the case he shouldn't of slept with me, and been with me, called me his imprint and his girlfriend. He led me on, but Paul hasn't. He's been truthful and sweet and loving, even still when I am pregnant with his brother's child. He's here for when he Jacob isn't. He isn't my Jacob anymore, but is Paul…my Paul? Could I ever get used to that?
"What if I don't want to be with Jacob? He left me because he is still in love with my Bella, my Task, Edward. She's mine. And yours hypothetically.Jacob should have realized he still loved Bella when he had sex with me, numerous times, or when he conceived a child with me. Our child. The one he helped create, remember? Or when he took something so precious, my innocence, the only thing I was innocent with. I've killed people, I've lied, I've stole, but never once did I loose my innocence until him. He didn't wait til we were married; he just fucked me two days after we met. Or when he introduced me as his imprint, or when he said I was his. You've seen my memories, Edward. You've seen it was him and only him. I am always going to love him, with everything I have. But never once did he say he loved me, never once. He was furious when he found out you guys were engaged, and I felt like I betrayed him when I told him I knew. I've known since I met my Bella. I know things that are going to change everyone's lives, but I have to keep it to myself, and he understood that. But he was so mad, and he was so jealous. He should love me and only me, not Bella, and I love Bella, you know that. But Jacob is my mate, and I should be his. Paul just, he's Paul. He's here, with me."
"Mia, I can't tell you what to do, but don't hurt yourself or Paul over this. You know who you love, don't break his heart just because Jacob broke yours." Edward thought, and I saw he had more to say but he needed to focus. I gasped and cut off the mental connection. Edward was so brutally honest with me, and I only just realized he was so right. I am breaking Paul's heart just because Jacob broke mine. I'm greedily taking his comfort and showing him false love to get over Jacob. And that's not fair. I knew what I had to do, I need to be honest.
"Well, it looks like he gets some props." Quil laughed, and I only realized that the exchange between Edward and I lasted barely a second. I looked over at Edward with pain written on my face, and I nodded. I mouthed 'Thankyou' and he nodded as he wrapped his arms around Bella. It also dawned on me that Bella did the same with Jacob. That's why Jacob loves her so deeply. She took his support and showed it as love. We are so alike it's scary.
The rest of the night, I stayed quiet. Everyone discussed the baby and Jacob and how we would find him. They asked me to take my mental block off of the pack but I refused. They knew the reason, especially Paul. He understood. All the girls discussed shopping for the baby, my baby. That sounded so good to say. I smiled to myself. I could see Edward just chuckle. I gasped and I saw some of the flashes of things I had been keeping away from him flash and he gaped at me. He stood up quickly and I saw him walk calmly over to me. I slammed my mental doors shut.
"Mia, may I speak with you for a moment?" Edward asked rigidly. I saw Bella looked at him, frightened. I just smiled and kissed her cheek. Paul growled and stood up with me, holding my waist waiting for Edward to lead. I saw him go rigid and I saw Edward was waiting for me to say something, but I was frozen. How could he of saw my thoughts? I made sure they were shut. He looked agitated, but I didn't care. "Alone, please." Paul let out a low menacing growl, but I put a calming hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay, Paul. He just wants to talk. We'll be fine. Go talk with the pack, I'll be back soon." I whispered to him before Edward grabbed my forearm and looked me straight in the eyes. I sighed. Paul nodded sadly and kissed my cheek, allowing Edward and I to exit silently. He pulled me into his arms bridal style and we raced of. The wind ripped by and I never felt freer. I could feel the desire and passion and pain burning into my system form the freedom. Edward ran for miles, which only took maybe two minutes considering vampire speed. The whole time he blocked his thoughts, only thinking of Bella. I smiled. Bella is quite a good distraction. We stopped only minutes later. He set me and down and started to pace. "What did you see Edward."
"How could we be so stupid…. hiding something so big from us…taking innocents lives…. risking such danger." Edward continued to pace back and forth, muttering stupid things under his breath. I got agitated quickly. I could feel Nyx's presence by me, waiting for the truth to come out. She knew what was going on, and I knew Edward couldn't see her. I saw her perfectly, standing behind him, a thoughtful look on her face. True beauty if anyone has ever seen it before. Her long billowing black hair, her shining blue eyes in the now moonlight. Her wind blown white dress cascading now her body like a waterfall. A goddess on earth, and I could never compare to her. She smiled at me, shaking her head.
"Edward! What did you see!" I begged. I couldn't take the suspense. Did I just betray my goddess and possibly cause Renesmee's future to never happen? Oh, goddess what have I done!