Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi is not mine. Not making any money off this. Etc.

Thanks to the folks who've reviewed—you are helping me keep this rolling!

---

Outsider

Ch. 2

---

It was cold.

Miaka tried to curl up against the cold draft she felt, feeling herself start to shiver a little. What did I do, leave the window open? she thought muzzily.

"Get her a blanket, would you? God, it's cold in here." It was Taka's voice.

Miaka opened her eyes, confused. "Taka?"

She was in a hospital room, lit warmly by a lamp on a table. Taka was sitting in a chair next to her bed, holding her hand, his face exhausted. He sighed and closed his eyes in relief, lowering his head and pressing her hand against his forehead. She saw Karuko by the window and Keisuke at the foot of the bed with a blanket over his arm. They had a black eye apiece, and Karuko's hand was bandaged.

Memory swarmed back to her, and she gasped. She started to sit up, but Taka caught her shoulder. "No, don't. Just rest."

Miaka looked at Keisuke. He had a split lip, too, she saw, and a hangdog look. "Are you okay, Miaka?" he asked, coming over to the side of the bed. He spread the blanket over her, and sat down on another chair. "The police found you on a bench in a park a couple miles from where those guys stopped us. They called an ambulance when they couldn't wake you up. You had your wallet on you—your money and purse were gone but your ID was still in it, with your emergency contact numbers, and they called Taka.

"You should've seen Karuko and Ryuen," he went on with a wan smile. "They went berserk when that guy started to carry you off."

Miaka looked around anxiously. "Where's Ryuen? Is he—"

"It's okay, he's fine, just a few bruises. He went to get everybody some coffee—couldn't stand waiting anymore. He should be back pretty soon. Miaka… what happened?" Keisuke looked at her, and she could see his fear. "They said—"

"If you'd shut up long enough to let her get a word in edgewise, maybe she could tell us," Taka snapped. Keisuke looked away, lips pressing tight together.

Miaka winced; Taka was holding her hand too tightly. She looked at him. His shoulders were trembling with tension, and she knew that rigid expression on his face very well. She lifted her other hand to put it over his. "I'm all right, Taka. Really."

He looked down at her, and the anger on his face eased a little, letting the pain show through. He seemed to realize how hard his fingers were clenched, and relaxed his hand, caressing the back of hers apologetically. "Are you sure? The doctor said there was a sleeping drug in your system—you don't know what could have—"

She shook her head. "I'm fine. He…he didn't hurt me."

Taka's eyes searched her face, and then his expression closed a little again. He reached out and his fingers rubbed lightly over the small bruise forming on her cheek. She winced slightly, and he withdrew his hand. "Then what's this?"

Miaka reached up and touched the small tender spot with her fingers.

"Shut up!" The crack of his hand against her face, the pain as it jolted her neck—

She flinched and closed her eyes, feeling tears stinging her eyes and clotting in her throat. Tasuki, why…

Taka saw it and inhaled sharply. His hand on hers tightened briefly, and then it was withdrawn; he stood up so fast the chair skidded backwards with a screech and almost fell over, and he was headed for the door. Miaka opened her eyes and half sat up. "Taka—" He grabbed the handle and jerked it open.

Ryuen was standing just outside, juggling a holder with four cups and a cardboard box. He recoiled when the door flew open. "Whoa! Taka—"

"Get out of my way," Taka hissed. Ryuen grimaced and moved aside, and Taka stormed off down the hall.

Ryuen stared after him, then stepped into the room. "Sorry that took so long, guys. Is—Miaka!" Seeing her open eyes, Ryuen fumbled his burdens onto the table and then darted over to the bedside, hooking Taka's chair with his ankle and dragging it under him before he sat down. "Geez, we were worried. You okay?"

Miaka, still staring at the door, burst into tears.

---

It took her about fifteen minutes to calm down, and the attentions of her anxious friends and frazzled brother didn't really make it easier. Every time Ryuen squeezed her hand, she started again, and Keisuke looked like he was about to cry himself. Karuko stood off to the side, arms folded, his brown hair falling in his face, silent and haunted, only occasionally looking toward her.

Ryuen finally brushed her hair gently off her forehead and wiped her tears with his handkerchief. His red eyes testified that he'd wiped away a few tears of his own without her seeing. "Miaka… what happened?"

Miaka closed her eyes. Taka was too angry to listen, and he and Tasuki had never gotten along in the first place, but… "Ryuen…it was Tasuki," she whispered.

There was utter silence, and when she opened her eyes, Ryuen was staring at her, slack-jawed. "What?" he said softly.

"The leader of the—" She had to grope for the name. "The gang—"

"The Flame Runners," Karuko said quietly.

"It's him. It's Tasuki."

Ryuen swallowed, looking sick. "Miaka, are you sure? We've been looking for him for months… could it have just—"

"It was him. And he remembers."

Ryuen stared at her, and Miaka suddenly saw the same anger stoking slowly in his eyes that she'd seen in Taka's. She grabbed his hand, holding onto it as tightly as she could. "Ryuen, listen to me. He—"

"How could he? That—" His jaw clenched, his hand closed in a hard grip like Taka's had.

"Ryuen, he didn't hurt me! He—he might have, but he stopped—he—"

He wasn't hearing her anymore; she could see it. He didn't leave like Taka had, but she saw him curl his hand into a tight fist.

Wincing, she sat up. "Nuriko!" she said sharply.

He looked at her and blinked. She was scowling fiercely, and suddenly he was reminded of when she'd summoned Suzaku at last, standing there battered and ragged and bleeding from Nakago's attacks, but still strong, chanting the prayer to Suzaku in a voice that glowed with confidence. She was not a fragile person. How had he already forgotten that? He loosened his grip on her hand and patted it. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "Tell me."

Miaka lay back down, holding on to Ryuen's hand. "I'm not sure if he remembered before and just didn't recognize me, or if he remembered when I said his name. He…" She looked at Ryuen, and now she squeezed his hand. "I'll tell you, but please listen to the whole story before you get too angry?" She looked over at Keisuke. "That goes for you, too." She looked at Karuko, who had drifted to the foot of the bed. "And you."

One by one, they nodded.

---

Taka stood huddled in the chill just outside the main doors of the hospital. He'd left his jacket in the hospital room. There was a lingering smell of cigarette smoke from a few butts lying in a metal trashcan nearby, but he hardly noticed. He hunched as a brief gust of wind ruffled his hair and sent icy little fingers down the back of his neck.

I wasn't there. She was hurt, and I wasn't there. And she tried to defend him? To say he hadn't done anything wrong? What did he do to her?

His lip curled. God, I'm never letting them go anywhere without me again. Those idiots. Keisuke, Ryuen—Karuko grew up in that kind of neighborhood! I thought he had better sense! Am I the only one who cares about keeping her safe? Idiots!

"You really oughta have a jacket on, y'know?" said a mild tenor voice right beside him.

Taka jumped. He looked up, and Keiji—otherwise known as Chichiri—was standing there, hands in the pockets of his dark blue nylon jacket, his dyed-blonde hair tied back in a ponytail.

"How's Miaka?"

Taka lowered his eyes. "The doctor hadn't come back yet when I left. They found a sleeping drug in her system and—and somebody hit her. I don't know what else…he…"

His voice was about to crack, and he stopped. He felt Keiji's hand on his shoulder, and shrugged away a little. Keiji's hand fell away. "I wasn't there to help her." He'd stayed home to work on a stupid model, for God's sake, if he'd just been with them—

There was a rustle as Keiji shifted his weight. "Well, you can't always be there, y'know."

Taka's mouth opened for a retort, but Keiji interrupted him. "If you want to be there for her, how come you're down here and not up there with her?"

Taka's mouth stayed open for a moment. Then he closed it. Oh. "I got so angry…"

"…you were about to storm off and find whoever hurt the person you love?" Keiji finished for him, with a smile. "That doesn't work in this world, Taka; it's the police's job."

"I know that!" Taka snarled. There was no response, and he looked up to find the young man watching him placidly, hands back in his pockets, rocking a little on his heels. He felt a little foolish. "…I'm sorry," he muttered.

"No problem. I'll go up and see her now. And I'll make sure she knows it's her attacker you're angry at, not her."

Taka bristled, but Keiji walked past him and strolled through the sliding doors, heading off toward the elevators.

Taka looked up along the façade of the building, frowning. Could she really have thought I was…?

He slumped a little. Yes. She could. He sighed, and went back into the building, moving in the same direction as Keiji had gone. He passed the hospital gift shop, and did a double take. He smiled, and turned back.

---

Keisuke had turned away, staring out the window. Ryuen's eyes were fixed on Miaka's face; Karuko sat at the end of the bed, hands curved around a cup of coffee that he held but didn't drink, listening with his eyes closed.

"Then he told me to go to sleep… and I looked up…" She halted suddenly, blinking.

A small shape tattooed on his right arm… Suddenly she knew.

"What did you see?" Ryuen said softly.

"The shrine," she said wonderingly. "Suzaku. He had a picture of Suzaku on the wall in the corner, a red phoenix, with candles lit on a shelf under it. He had the same picture tattooed on his right arm—I didn't see it too clearly, but I'm sure that's what it was." How long had he really known? More than anything, Miaka wanted to know that, but she stayed silent, thinking.

"I think maybe some part of him always knew, y'know."

Miaka looked up and broke into a smile. "Chichiri!" The others blinked—none of them had heard him come in, or knew for sure how long he'd been there.

He came over to her bedside past Ryuen and smiled back, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. "Hey, I thought I told you no more getting kidnapped, y'know?" he teased, tapping the tip of her nose with one finger as he straightened up. "Rescuing you was a lot of fun back in the Universe of the Four Gods, but I think this world's a little more dangerous, y'know?"

Miaka giggled.

"Oh, are those doughnuts?" He walked over to the bakery box on the table, which hadn't been touched yet.

"Doughnuts?" Miaka perked up.

Ryuen laughed. "I forgot!"

---

A few minutes later, the doughnuts had been distributed and Ryuen was sharing his cup with Miaka, who took her coffee the same way. Miaka, finding her appetite, had polished off one doughnut and half of another. Keisuke was chatting with Keiji; Karuko simply sat quietly at the end of the bed, occasionally looking at Miaka with profound relief.

"We called the police on my phone from where they stopped us, and went to the police station and looked at mug shots, but we hadn't seen anybody we recognized before Taka called my cell phone saying that the hospital called, and to meet him there," Keisuke was telling Keiji. "I guess I don't blame him for being mad, but I just didn't think. I forgot that Miaka's got his number on her emergency card now instead of mine. That must've been a shock. Anyway, we came from there to the hospital and that's when I called you." His eyes went wide. "Oh, crap! I forgot to call Yui!"

"I'll do it," Ryuen volunteered, getting up.

There was a soft, hesitant knock on the door. They all looked at each other, and then Ryuen made a face and went over to the door. He yanked it open.

Taka stood on the other side, looking startled. He held a large florist's bouquet of bright flowers in one arm. "Uh—"

"Oh, it's you," Ryuen said, turning up his nose. "If I let you in, are you going to be a jerk? If you are, I'm just gonna shut the door in your face again."

"No." Taka lowered his head a little, accepting Ryuen's upbraiding humbly, but his eyes moved past the young man to Miaka's face.

"Wee-e-e-e-e-ell…" Ryuen didn't budge.

"Let him in, Nuriko."

Ryuen looked over his shoulder at Miaka. She was returning Taka's uncomfortable look with a steady gaze. Ryuen shrugged. "You're the boss-lady," he muttered, stepping back and letting Taka come in.

Taka came forward to the bedside and shyly held the flowers out to her. After a hesitation, she took them, and he softly closed his hands around one of hers. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I got so angry at the guy that hurt you, I ran off to be mad and didn't think about being with you when you needed me. No matter how mad I was, I shouldn't have just left you."

Miaka's eyes filled with tears. It had hurt, having him walk off like that. "I did need you," she said in a voice she was hard put to keep steady, and Taka closed his eyes briefly in pain. "I'm still going to need you," she went on, pressing his hand hard. "So you aren't allowed to run off like a coward." He flinched and opened his eyes. She glared back. "You don't see me running away, do you? And I'm the one it happened to!"

Karuko's eyes were wide, but Ryuen was smirking.

"Miaka—" Keisuke sounded aghast.

"No. She's right. I deserved that." Taka raised his eyes from the floor again to meet Miaka's, sat down on the bed beside her, and gently reached out to cup her bruised cheek. "No more running away. I want to be here when you need me."

The tears in Miaka's eyes spilled over, and she leaned forward into his arms, heedless of the flowers being squashed between them. He embraced her tightly.

There was a quiet knock on the door, and the doctor came in carrying a chart. She was as tall as Karuko and had short black hair and sharp black eyes. "Hello, Miss Yuki. How are you feeling?"

Taka let go of Miaka and straightened up, flushing a little.

"All right," Miaka said.

The doctor nodded, and looked around at five other pairs of eyes suddenly intent on her. "You'll be happy to know that from my examination when they brought you in, you really are all right. I didn't find any evidence of sexual assault, and no physical marks except the ones on your face and arms."

Arms? Miaka blinked and looked. Sure enough, there was a pattern of finger marks on her right arm, from when he'd twisted it to get her to stop struggling. They had faded and hadn't given her any pain, and she hadn't noticed them. Taka frowned, but said nothing.

"You were very lucky, Miss Yuki. Whoever left you knew just where to put you—the police estimated that you hadn't been there more than five minutes before you were found. Most kidnapping cases I've seen don't get off that lucky."

Miaka nodded numbly. Taka looked chilled.

The doctor smiled. "It's all right. You can be discharged tonight if you want."

"Yes, please. I want to go home."

The doctor nodded. "I'll go get the paperwork. Do you need anything else? I can have the nurse recommend a counselor if you'd like to see someone to help you with your experience. And the police will be by to interview you tomorrow."

Miaka couldn't help gulping. The police? Uh-oh… "N-no, I don't need to see anyone." If I tell some psychiatrist that my attacker was my friend from another world—no, I don't think so! "Thank you."

"All right. Good luck, Miss Yuki. Here's my office number if you need anything else." She handed Miaka a card, which Miaka handed to Taka. Taka put it into Miaka's wallet on the table. "I'll be right back up with the paperwork."

The doctor left, and Keisuke sighed heavily and sat down on his chair again. "Thank God." He smiled at Miaka and reached out to ruffle her hair. "I'm sorry I got us lost," he said humbly. "If I'd just—"

Miaka caught his hand and shook her head. "It's not your fault. And it turned out all right, didn't it?"

Keisuke looked at Taka. He was scowling, and Keisuke winced, but then Taka's face relaxed a little and he shrugged. "Okay. But next time, I drive."

Ryuen laughed. "I'll go call Yui now that I can give her good news."

The doctor came back with the paperwork, and after Keisuke signed the papers, pronounced Miaka ready to go. After wishing her good luck again, the doctor left. Ryuen returned and took charge of the flowers, all of them turned their backs while Miaka changed from the hospital gown into the extra clothes Taka had brought, and Keisuke got her jacket.

"What's this?" He handed Miaka her short denim jacket, but he had another coat over one arm, one that Miaka didn't recognize: a brown raincoat.

She frowned. "I don't know."

"It was with your jacket."

Miaka stared at it, puzzled. "Maybe someone left it behind."

Keisuke glanced inside it and didn't see a name. He shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want it?"

She looked at it for a moment, and then nodded slowly. He shrugged and flipped it over his shoulder.

"Well, now that that's settled, why don't we get out of here?" Ryuen said.

---

When I came back from the park I didn't bother to take a sleeping pill. I stripped down to boxers and lay down on the couch, feeling numb. Even the scent of the candles and incense beneath Suzaku's image on the wall didn't soothe me.

Oh, God. Miaka.

I'd come so close. I hadn't even realized how close at the time. I shook, thinking of it. Another few minutes, and she'd have been as soiled as any of the others I'd had in this room.

It'd been tugging at me since I'd first seen her. I hadn't thought anything of it at first. I'd thought for some reason I just found her more attractive than most, maybe just because of her obvious innocence. I'd wanted her, and I could have whatever I wanted.

Oh, God, had I wanted her.

Something had made me stop at one point. By then everything was submerged in that funny haze of lust that I'd been used to letting myself sink into without hesitation, but something—a sound? A cry? I wasn't sure, but it was like when you suddenly jump just as you're starting to drift off to sleep, right out of the blue. It took me aback. But nothing else happened, and I'd started again, wanting her more than ever—

"Tasuki, STOP!"

It hadn't sunk in right away…God, I wish it had… I was furious at being interrupted again. I'd hit her. I'd screamed at her.

And then she hit me

That was what it was like; as if a thousand of her had just landed on me all at once like a collapsing building. I knew who she was, I knew who I was, I knew everything, all at once, I knew exactly and in excruciating detail how low I was. It hurt, I let go of her but it still hurt, my brain felt like it was going to ooze out my ears, and I couldn't look at her.

Then those idiots had to come in, and I had to frighten her even more, because I couldn't stand there like a fool looking like someone had just clocked me with a two-by-four, not in front of the gang. I got them the hell out of there as fast as I could, and then I let her go again before I could lose control.

I had a few moments to think as I adjusted. And that was all it took to realize that I didn't want her to know for sure. God, what a mess I've made of things in her world. What kind of celestial warrior of Suzaku am I? I almost wished I hadn't remembered. Almost.

Then I looked at my shrine, and I remembered that too, I remembered who Suzaku was, why I fought for him, and why I'd always been fascinated with the phoenix. I knew why I'd had my tattoo of the phoenix put where it was, though I hadn't known why at the time, and why I'd insisted it be done entirely in red. And that wall scroll, just a cheap tourist gimmick I'd laid eyes on during Chinese New Year one year and felt compelled to buy—I knew why, on a thousand and one nights in this room, alone or with some other limp, drugged body lying beside me in bed, I'd looked at that wall scroll—and felt the closest thing to hope that I'd ever had.

I knew I had to get her to safety, as quick as I could. This wasn't a good place for her, and it wasn't just because of the rest of the gang. I still wanted her so bad it hurt. And I couldn't just stroll out of here with her. That wasn't normal. People would notice.

I put her in the safest place I could for right then, right below Suzaku's image, so that nasty little inner demon would have one more obstacle to subsuming me and taking what it wanted. She sounded so lost, saying my name again and again, begging for the confirmation that I couldn't give her. I gave her one of my sleeping pills and made her lie down, and as soon as she was in that place of relative safety I got my ass under some cold water as fast as I could.

God, I hate cold showers.

But it did the trick, eventually. I leaned my head against the cool tile wall and shivered as I let the icy water splash over me, wishing it could just wash everything away, all the filth I'd immersed myself in, wallowed in, over the past eight years.

No such luck, but at least my body was clean.

When I came out, she was dozing off. It hurt to see how she was lying there—all curled up, like a turtle gone into its shell to defend itself.

I got her out and got her to safety, and I said goodbye. I just hope she has the sense to leave it alone and not come chasing after me, thinking she can do something to save a life already lost.

Then again, this is Miaka we're talking about.

I lay on the couch for hours, but I didn't sleep. I stared at the ceiling, and mourned the loss of what I hadn't known I could have until it was too late.

---

End Chapter 2

---