Chapter 22:
It was a rainy night, which was horribly cliché. John and Will went to a party for the wrestling team and I stayed home. I didn't tell them it was because I needed to hunt, but I refused to. I didn't want to be a killer, and I didn't care if the hunger ate me alive and they found me dead when they came back, I will not kill. I was in my room, right next to my balcony, clutching my throat and my body, trying to conquer the hunger. I was dying, and I knew it. I was okay with it. I accepted I was going to die.
I heard the front door open and I heard Lizzie's voice. She called my name a couple of times, but I only snarled. I couldn't get near her, I would kill her, and I couldn't do that to John. I would rather die. I will die. And I smelled her before I saw her. I could smell and hear her heart beat. I had used so much power and energy that it was killing me. I will let it kill me.
She ran over to me screaming 'oh my god, Mia!' the whole way. But I snarled. She didn't hesitate. She pulled me into her arms and she grabbed for her phone. I ripped it out of her grasp and snapped it.
"You. Can't. Call. John!" I snarled again, feeling my hunger turn into anger. She didn't cower away or leave; she held me close and clutched me. I saw she was desperately trying to find a way to help me. John told her about me a week ago. She didn't run or cower last time either. She stayed and accepted me. She even tried to ask what she could do to help me.
"What do you need? Please, Mia, tell me what I can do to help!" She asked desperately. I snarled and clutched my throat. My skin felt like it was crawling, like my skin was burning and I tried to scratch it off. She grabbed my hands and stopped me from hurting myself. I growled and I felt my throat burning with dryness.
"Blood." I shrieked. It was over. I was in complete bloodlust. I needed blood, and my body was not going to let me just die. It was going to make me hunt, whether I wanted to or not. I whipped out of her grasp and sat in a crouch. She smiled at me sincerely and pulled her hair back from her neck and tilted her head to the left.
"Then drink from me." I was shocked only for a minute, mostly because she said it with so much trust and understanding that it killed me, but it only lasted a second before I flung myself. I jumped right over her, and flung myself through the window and ran right into the forest. I could hear her shouting after me and I felt the pulsing need and hunger for blood, but it will not be Elizabeth's. I couldn't. But I felt a deep appreciation for her willingness and understanding of me. So much that it hurt to think that I hated her so.
I let my instincts take over before I registered it. I could smell something so completely beautiful and alluring that I wasn't myself. My body started to run and my body as hungry. But my soul wasn't, it was silenced for the moment. The smell that was coming to me was so loud and pulsing in the air that I could see it. I started after it and I could hear Lizzie yelling after me.
I only focused on getting what I wanted, and that was blood. My eyes were black and I couldn't see anymore, but that didn't matter. My body knew where I was going, but I was already at my kill. I tackled something to the ground and I ripped something open, and then I was gone. I threw my head back and lunged it forward. The experience was something I never had had, and I hoped I never had it again. The pleasure was so intense it hurt, and I was afraid. The sweet sickly hot liquid streamed down my throat and it stopped the dryness.
The taste was like liquid desire mixed with the sweetest desires all together in one. It was something I had never encountered and something that made me filled with regret but also need. Worse than when I didn't have it, now that I did, I wasn't giving it up. I drank and drank and it tasted so good. I had never had anything like it; it was something completely new to me. I wasn't aware that someone had been watching me until I heard a rustling of the bushes around me.
Lizzie had a sad look on her face as she walked forward, being very cautious as I clutched my kill to my chest. The body had been almost completely dry when she came along, but I was still in hunting mode. I snarled at her as she advanced, she held her hands up in surrender, but continued forward.
"Mia, Mies, come on, calm down, hon. It's just me, come on, you've hunted calm down…" She cooed as she moved forward. I didn't know if it was the softness of her voice, or the sincere look in her eye, either way, it snapped me out of my hunt. I looked at her in horror as I looked at the man in my arms. His eyes were now white and opened and blank staring passed me. He had a receding hair line with deep chocolate brown hair. He had a flannel shirt and jeans along with hiking boots which were all drenched in blood. His neck was sliced and I saw teeth marks on his neck. I jumped back and gasped, clasping my hands over my mouth in shock.
"I killed him. I actually killed him." I whispered as I collapsed. Lizzie walked over and pulled me into her arms, holding me as I cried. I killed someone, and I am still thirsty! I could kill someone else! Lizzie whispered that it was okay and it wasn't my fault in my ear. "I killed him! I killed someone! Oh god, Elizabeth I killed someone! Please don't tell John! Oh god, how can I live with this? I have to turn myself in, or kill myself so this won't happen again…"
"Mia, stop. It wasn't your fault; you didn't mean to kill him. It was an accident. Don't blame yourself, shhh shh shh. It's okay, don't cry. It will all be okay, shh shh shh. Come on, Mies. It's all alright. Come on, let's get you home. We'll get you some donated blood, yea come on Mies that's a good compromise. Come on, we'll forget this and act like it didn't happen. It was not your fault. You are young and you don't have a leader, what could you do? It's okay, honey, just calm down."
"But it did happen! I killed someone, oh god I killed someone! They did nothing to me and I killed them, because I was careless and didn't hunt…oh god! I knew this was going to happen! I killed someone!" I rambled. I could feel the guilt and regret slice me deep. I hated myself in that instant. I knew I didn't deserve anything that I have. I don't deserve the amazing family I have. I don't! Oh god, I killed someone!
"Snap out of it, Mia. Now. It was not your fault, do you hear me? It was not! Stop shaking your head, Mies, come on. You know it was not your fault, stop blaming yourself! Mia," She stopped me mid stride as I paced. She grabbed my face in her hands and forced me to look deep in her eyes. I could see she really believed that it wasn't my fault. "Mia, it. was. not. your. Fault. You got that? Mia it's not your fault. Believe me when I say it, please."
"You really think so?" I whispered brokenly. I starred at the man and looked back at her. She nodded gravely. I sighed and walked over. I commanded fire to burn the body and the blood, and wind blew it all away. She gave me an approving look, knowing it was all we could do. I crumbled where I stood and prayed to my goddess that she still loved me. "I'm so sorry."
"Come on, let's get you home. We'll get some hot coco and watch chick flicks and maybe you can contact your goddess and tell her what happened, and ask her to like clean your slate and bless his soul or something." She said it like it was so simple that I laughed. She wrapped her arms around mine and we walked back to the house slowly. I could feel the regret and the guilt getting worse with each step. But that night, my goddess whipped it clean, and she told me the man's soul, James Dowling, was in a better place and not to worry. Of course I worried, but I managed to accept what I did, and accept I couldn't change it.
That night, I was scared to find out that I was changing, rapidly changing. My hair had darkened so much it turned a murky black, which contrasted from my beautiful light brown hair. My eyes had turned a deep and dark brown which looked like mud compared to my beautiful electric green eyes. My teeth were sharp and my nails were long. I gasped as I had seen myself. But Lizzie reassured me that I looked fine, and she loved it. She was there with me through every change, and that night, she became my sister.
After that night, I never doubted Lizzie as family, because she accepted me and was there for me when I needed someone, and after that, she really was my sister. We did everything together, and she came over so much it was like she really lived with us. Everything only got better from there, but now, it's gone. My sister, the girl I had grown close to, was gone. Lizzie is gone. I can never forgive myself for not saving her. I sighed.
Currently, I was at the river, where I knew this was my place of power. My skin glowed in the darkness, taking on a pale glow. I watched the stream flow slowly and I dipped my feet in the water. I hiss with the cold for only a minute, but soon it felt refreshing and comforting. I sighed. I could feel the real pain set in as I thought of Lizzie. I cannot believe she is gone. It felt she was with us forever, like she really was my sister. God, she didn't even get to get married! Or see her child before she died! She never got to have a life!
"I thought you were good! How could you let an angel die! Why would you damn her soul like that! Take me instead! She deserves a life! How could you, I trusted you!" I screeched to the sky, speaking to my goddess. But I knew she wouldn't respond. I knew she knew that I was mourning, and I am not going to be a good person. I sighed as I was left to only my thoughts. I could feel the tears brimming on my eyes and they spilled over. I pulled my legs to my chest, trying to keep myself from falling apart.
"You know, it's not good to doubt things you believe in. Sometimes things just happen." I heard a loud booming laugh from behind me and I immediately knew who it was.
I starred ahead, and sighed deeply. Emmett walked over and slung his arms over my shoulder, pulling me to his side. I sighed and I could feel the tears start again. He held me like a big brother would as I cried and I could feel the horrible pain pull at me again. He just stroked my back and tried to make me smile as I cried, such a brother. I sighed after I don't even know how long and I pulled back. I laughed at my patheticness and smiled at Emmett. He smiled back sadly.
"I'm really sorry, you know, for your sister. I'm sorry Carlisle couldn't save her…" He trailed off looking down at my sadly and I sighed as I sniffed, wiping my nose on my sleeve. "But everything will okay, you just gotta take it a step at a time."
"I don't know if I can believe it. First Jake, and then Lizzie, I don't know if anything will ever be okay again. My sister is now going to be a part of the ground, never being able to see her beautiful smile, to hear my sisters voice, is something I didn't think would happen for at least another fifty years. Or maybe even when I was the one dying, but not her. Things are slipping through my vision, Em, and it's scaring me. I never saw Lizzie die, I never saw McKenzie being born. Oh god, McKenzie! We have to get home!"
"Shh, she's fine. Esme's taking care of her. John even held her. He's okay, you know. Sad, but not broken. He said, well he said Lizzie came to him, and told him she would be back, eventually, maybe not as her but she would. It changed him. He accepted what happened, scary as that is."
"Jeez, Liz, you're defiantly throwing me a curve ball, aren't ya?" I whispered to the wind, hearing it rustling in reply. I sighed and laughed. Emmett laughed with me. We sat there, for what felt like hours, just trying to pull myself together for when I go back. But I did manage. We got there in a couple of minutes and I smiled sadly as I saw the whole pack there with the Cullen's, along with Charlie and Billy. Paul was the first one to run over to me and pull me into his arms, ripping me from Emmett's grasp. I looked up from Paul's shoulder, and I frowned at Emmett. 'Thank you' I mouthed and he smiled. 'Anytime sis' He mouthed back.
"Thank god you are safe! I came back and you were gone!" Paul whispered into my shoulder. I sighed and hugged him briefly, pulling back, uncomfortable with the stares of everyone around. I saw Charlie's looking at me with shock and confusion. I shrugged to him. He motioned to his stomach and pointed to Paul. I shook my head and looked straight at Billy and he understood. Jacob. I nodded and sighed. Billy smiled sadly at me and wheeled over. He hugged me and kissed my cheek. I could feel my tears sting at me my as I looked at the father I never had.
"Lizzie is gone." Everyone broke into groups, some talking to John and Will, and I couldn't help but feel the empty gap that Lizzie should fill. But she will never be back, and right now I really felt the loose. Seth walked over to me after a minute and pulled me into his arms. I sighed. He put a small item in my hand, and I sighed sadly. He fastened it on my neck again, and I felt bad that I had almost broken something he gave me. It was a simple necklace; a 'J' with black diamond's lining it. I always said it was the color of his eyes, but he gave it to me to stake his claim so no one else came near me.
"Thanks." I whispered to him and he smiled at me. I sighed as Paul wrapped his arm around my waist and I sighed. He's worse than Jake, I laughed in my head. The sad thing was, now, when it thought of Jake, I felt no pain, no regret, just numbness. I had gone through the death of Lizzie; I can deal with losing a boyfriend, even a task. I will never lose my family again. I promised myself that now, I swore on everything.
Carlisle grabbed Will, John, Ri, and I all into a separate room. He starred us with sympathy and pain and I knew what he was going to ask. I sighed as I thought of where she was now, spirit and body wise. I knew her body was probably in the other room, and that only made it worse to think about. She is still tangible, but only in body, and it broke my heart to think I could never just go down a level in the house and see her.
"You all know why I probably separated. With the matters of Elizabeth's…body, well and funeral arrangements. Have you thought of it?"
"Well, no. But the arrangements will be made. We'll start working." John promised. Carlisle nodded and they continued to talk but I walked out. I sighed as Will followed me, giving them privacy. I knew John was cut up about this, but I knew he would want to be the one to arrange it, Lizzie and he had discussed it hundreds of times. But I knew what I wanted. And I found her in the kitchen.
Esme stood there with my niece in her hands. I stared at the beautiful child as Esme placed her in my arms. She looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and I felt my heart melt. Rosalie was mixing a bottle of baby formula and she passed it to me. The child watched me with curiosity and I knew that this was Lizzie through the through. She had a tuff of blonde hair on her head. Her eyes were defiantly Lizzie's moms.
"Hello McKenzie, I'm Mia, your aunt." I smiled down at the little girl my brother and sister created and I felt a swell of pride. She grabbed a long lock of my brown hair and started tugging on it, and I smiled at her. I touched her little button nose and she giggled. I bounced her gently in my arms, and I wondered if this is how it will be when my two little babies will be here.
"She loves you." Edward whispered as he walked over and smiled. I smiled up at him and sighed as the now sleeping baby lay in my arms. She still kept a hand clutched at my hair the whole time. Edward laughed at her thoughts. "Do you know her full name? It's McKenzie Elizabeth Elena McDaniel. I don't know what it is with your family, but you like long names. I told John, the name was in Lizzie's head when she died, she loved you. She wanted you to know." He smiled.
I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. He named McKenzie after me. The little sleeping baby in my arms was named after me. I love you Lizzie. Forever.