Showdown: Rephaim vs. Jacob
Adopted by Holly is Tiny
Announcer's box:
Inquiete: Hey there my fans welcome to Showdown Rephaim vs. Jacob. This story is adopted by Holly is Tiny. I have like a bunch of ideas for different showdowns so I asked her Almighty Authoressness if I could do some of my own versions and she said yes, right Holly.
In the crowd:
[In crowd Holly is Tiny steps forward and gives thumbs up and dissolves back into the crowd.]
Announcer's box:
Inquiete: There you go, see not plagiarizing now am I?
Seth: Well no not really.
Inquiete: As you can see my co-hosts are Seth (whose last name I can't remember) and Stevie Rae Johnson.
Stevie Rae: Hie ya!
Seth: Is it really that hard to remember my name.
Inquiete: I'm bad at memory and I was too lazy to look it up. Our two competitors are Rephaim the Raven Mocker and Jacob the Wolf.
Seth: Hey you know unlike Rephaim, Jacob actually has a last name.
Inquiete: Yeah but I thought it would be funnier if I went by title instead of name.
Seth: Than why not say Jacob the Werewolf?
Inquiete: 'Cause I felt like it now shush, this intro is taking far too long and I still need to explain the challenges.
Seth: [Rolls eyes] whateves.
Inquite: Now following Holly's original set up I will be doing three rounds and a fight to the death. 'Cause it's the tradition of Showdown and anymore than that would be boring and much too long.
Stevie Rae: Sounds good that way you're not copying her but your still respecting her original set up.
Inquiete: Right Stevie Rae thanks for agreeing with me. The first round will be a round called "Throbbing Heart Ache" it's kind of like Holly's "Love is F*cking Hard" but different. The contestants will have to give a list of reasons why loving their love was hard/hurt them. Contestants will gain points by saying how their love was hard and harmful and lose points by saying something that is not harmful, a cliché, or completely irrelevant to the topic; or if another one points out how that's not that painful. Jacob must use Bella, Renesmee's part in this will come later on.
Seth: So it's completely the same as "Love is F*cking Hard."
Inquiete: NO! THERE IS A COMPLETE FUCKING DIFFERNCE! HAVE YOU NOT READ ANY OF HOLLY'S STORIES! THERE SIMULAR BUT DIFFERENT!
Stevie Rae: [Giggling and holding her ears] Ow Inquiete that hurt my ears.
Inquiete: Sorry Stevie Rae now for the other challenges, the second one is a timed race to get out of the "Maze of Trails" there will be a bunch of different "Trails" place throughout the maze and they have to beat them and reach the finish line before time runs out. Each will have ten minutes which I will time on my phone. If they don't reach it by the end of the ten minutes were they are at will decide the victor; unless I'm still writing a sentence than I will finish the thought and stop.
Stevie Rae: Seems pretty straight forward.
Inquiete: Again yeah, and lastly before the fight to the death is the "Imprint: blood or Sight" round. (This where Renesmee comes in play,) it's basically a, "my horse is bigger than yours" fight. Except their arguing who has the better/stronger imprint.
Stevie Rae: We all know who will win that.
Seth: Yeah
(At the same time as each other): REPHAIM! JACOB!
[Turns and glares at each other hatefully]
Seth: Why is it she's co-hosting? She loves him that's completely biased.
Inquiete: Because I couldn't think of anyone else plus I'm biased. So shut up so I can start this dang thing before my readers fall asleep. Plus the bold print is hurting my eyes. Oh before I forget, has all Twilight books and all HoN books so if you haven't read all of those WARNING: SPOILERS!
Down in arena:
[Rephaim and Jacob are standing in the arena when Inquiete's voice boomed over them.]
Inquiete: Ok you guys ready.
Rephaim: Yes.
Jacob: Yeah I remember this from when I co-hosted with Holly. [Then murmurs under his breath] thought she'd never stop talking.
Inquiete: [Finger hovers over the delete key threateningly] what you say dog-boy?
Jacob: [Face goes pale] nothing Authoress, nothing at all.
Inquiete: [Leans back and smiles slyly] that's more like it. I like Holly's word "Almighty Authoress", that's just too damn true; we are the Authoresses of our own stories. Now on to the main event! You all know the rules begin Round 1!
Round 1:
Throbbing Heart Ache
Jacob: My love loved another person. (+1, -1 for not being more specific)
Rephaim: My love was seeing me well she still had a boyfriend who could really love her like a human can. (+3)
Jacob: My lover liked a vampire and wanted to be one of them. (+2, -1 for stupid reasoning)
Rephaim: So? Stevie Rae is a vampire High Priestess and there is nothing wrong with her. [In a voice dripping of sarcasm] besides all you had to worry about was her sparkling like sun kissed diamonds I needed to be afraid of her bursting in flames. (+5, +1 for poetic terms)
Jacob: (-1)
Jacob: Everyone was always coming after us wanting to kill Bella. (+2, +1 for finally saying her fucking name!)
Rephaim: The Rogue Red Fledglings were always plotting to kill Stevie Rae. And they used me to trap her on a roof top at daylight so she can burn. (+8)
Jacob: Yeah well back when Bella was fucked up Sam refused to let me see her for the first couple months I was in the pack. (+2)
Rephaim: Again so what? Only for the first couple of months then you disobeyed orders to see her and told her your little secret-
Jacob: I never told her anything! She guessed! (-1) besides didn't you betray your boss-daddy-whatever by seeing Stevie Rae! And you told her things you shouldn't have! (-2 for not understanding Rephaim's position/sensitivity)
Rephaim: [Face grimaces in pain] I never betrayed my father, yes I saw her but it wasn't against my father's will. And I never told her anything I wasn't supposed to and when I had to I left as little detail as possible. I NEVER betrayed my father, NEVER! (+10)
Jacob: Ok esh man no need to flip out. (-1 again because he doesn't understand Rephaim's sensitivity)
Rephaim: At least I would never force Stevie Rae into something she wouldn't want. You forced Bella to kiss you, twice. You forced her to see that she loves you even you knew it would not work in the end. I never did anything to Stevie Rae not unless she wished it. And for the one exception, she was dying and to stubborn to take what she needed to survive. (+15)
Inquiete: STOP! If u guys keep going we will be on round 1 all day!
Announcer's Box:
Inquiete: So what you guys think?
Seth: Why'd you give Rephaim so many points and not Jacob?
Inquiete: 'cause I like Rephaim more and his situation is worse than Jacob's.
Stevie Rae: Touché.
Seth: Holy crap you were so quit that I forgot you were there.
Stevie Rae: I'm here, and I agree with Inquiete, Rephaim has to deal with a lot more stuff than Jacob a lot more.
Seth: Whateves.
Inquiete: Ok down to business! [Claps hands together and rubs them together]
Seth: you just typed together twice.
Inquiete: Don't spoil my fun dog-breath or I'll delete you from this fanfic so fast you won't know what hit you.
Seth: Erm…I'll be good.
Inquiete: That's what I thought.
[Random person in the crowd]: shouldn't you tally up the scores? Or was just for effect?
Inquiete: Holy shit everyone look its Mike from my Rephaim-Fanatics story.
Mike: [Steps out of the crowd wearing a black faded hoodie, avenged 7x t-shirts, and equally faded black camouflage jeans] hey oh Inquiete do you mind getting rid of these cuffs? [holds up a pair of gleaming cuffs]
Inquiete: Oh yeah of course I'll get rid of them, with just a brush of my keys.
Mike: [Hand cuffs fall off and he twisted his wrists back and forth getting the circulation back.] Thanks Inquiete that's so much better.
Seth: [Laughs psychotically]
Inquiete: [Looking pissed and annoyed] what's so funny?
Seth: It's just…you make a random person out of the crowd…sounds like Steve from Holly's stories. Man Inquiete talk 'bout having no originality.
Inquiete: Hey two things #1 yeah I got some of this stuff from her but I also did it my own way and I got promotion. #2 the only reason why I put Mike in here is because I got bored, I never finish a story when I'm bored!
Seth: So put it away and start it again tomorrow, it's a Sunday you know.
Inquiete: I might do that, I might not, I don't know but until than I will write as I see fit. Besides I got bored talking to you so I don't think putting this off will cure that.
Stevie Rae: Guys you're putting the viewers to sleep again.
Mike: I don't know 'bout the viewers but I'm getting entertained by this.
Stevie Rae: Two things; that's not nice and even if that's true they will go on like this for hours and this story will never get done.
Inquiete: You're right as always Stevie Rae. Back to the matter at hand, you each will have a chance to say why your side should get more points. Stevie Rae you start.
Stevie Rae: Well Rephaim had a hard time with lovin' me and still being loyal to his daddy. And struggling against what he is and what he wants. And trying to find out what's important to him.
Inquiete: Excellent points Stevie Rae or should I say Red One. [Dips head in a bow of respect] Ok that was a good speech ok Rephaim gets (+10, +5 for her excellent speech that equals another 15 for Rephaim.)
Seth: Why is it that Rephaim gets 15?
Inquiete: 'Cause she makes valid points now Seth give your reasoning.
Seth: Well he's the only character in Twilight that actually has depth to him, ya know and the only one who has any type of personality. Well besides me and Leah.
Inquiete: Touché all good points Jacob gets (+3) points.
Seth: Hey wait, why only 3?
Inquiete: 'Cause it's only worth 3 points that's why? Now let's tally the points!
…
Rephaim (score): 3+5+1+8+10+15+15=57
…
Stevie Rae: Wow Rephaim has this in the bag; we might as well give it to Rephaim by default-wait where'd she go?
Inquiete: [Walks up to the two co-hosts sucking chocolate from fingers] sorry my friend gave me a snickers bar and I had to wash my hands so the keyboard wasn't all sticky.
Jacob: Hey that's not fair, I'm hungry!
Inquiete: To bad Mr. Bottomless-Pit-Of-A-Stomach you're always hungry and you're not getting one.
Mike: That's true but I'M not always hungry, do you mind giving me one Inquiete?
Inquiete: Sure Mike, I hear prison food is nasty. Here you go. [Tosses a Snickers bar into the crowd Mike catches it.]
Mike: Nom, nom, yum thanks Inquiete!
Seth: Curious, what's with all the smiley faces?
Inquiete: 'Cause I like smiley faces, now shut up we need to tally Jacob's scores before my readers fall asleep again. I can practically hear their snores!
…
Jacob (score): +1-1+2-1-1+2+1+2-1-2-1+3=4
…
Jacob: Hey that's not fair why is it I only get mostly minus 1 and 2? Why is it he gets 57 and I get 4?
Inquiete: Ok I will go down the list: #1 life isn't fair, get used to it. #2 Rephaim has a lot more stuff to deal with than you. Your one of the few cool people in Twilight but it's not a matter of coolness it's a matter of who has the most heart-breaking, difficult time with dealing with their emotions. And sorry Jake but yours may have sucked but they weren't has bad as Rephaim's. And as for the minuses; well I'm kind of biased plus you're like giving false accusations, and hardly giving any detail to your reasoning (which I can't stand.) Your responses are easy to discourage…may I go on?
Down in the Arena:
Jacob: Grr
Rephaim: Stop complaining.
Jacob: Huh? What you say bird-boy?
Rephaim: I said, "Stop complaining" you're giving me a migraine.
Jacob: [In sarcastic tone of voice] oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to cause you any trouble.
Rephaim: You know you really are annoying aren't you?
Jacob: Look who's talking.
Rephaim: [Rolls eyes]
In announcer's box
Seth: I'm wondering why do you keep saying he's one of the only good characters when you keep bashing him.
Inquiete: Because yeah he may be one of the few characters with an actual personality but he's still annoying I even thought that back when I stupidly liked Twilight.
Seth: How so?
Inquiete: Well in Twilight he was cool, maybe a little bit too peppy but cool. Than in New Moon he started out as a prick-
Seth: THAT WASN'T HIS FAULT!
Inquiete: Than went cool again but when Alice showed up he went back to being a prick. In Eclipse he was a total asshole prick, not only to Edward but to Bella to. Treating her like she's some kind of property to be won and forcing her to kiss him and see she loves him when it was clear she didn't want to. Then in Breaking Dawn he became cool again but was so obsessed with Renesmee that he looked like a creepy pedophile. It got to the point where you had to wonder who the real dad in the relationship was. Oh and to all Twilight-Fanatics don't be mad to much this inter paragraph was of my opinion of him back when I liked Twilight.
Stevie Rae: I didn't know you used to like Twilight.
Inquiete: Yeah I did but then it started getting to glorified and I got sick of looking at Robert Pattinson in the face and after that I reread Twilight and saw what load of crap it is.
Mike: Seriously man, real vampyre's don't sparkle!
Inquiete: Amen my friend! [High fives Mike.]
Mike: Yep I figured you'd agree with me.
Inquiete: Ok I'm going to take an intermission from this and post it in chapters because I want to know what you all think 'bout it so far. Tell me if it sucks; tell me if it's great, if it's funny, or if it's boring. Let me now and I'll fix it accordingly plus I want to work on my other projects and story ideas so I'll stop her for now.
Mike: NO! I want to see the rest of the challenges!
Inquiete: Don't worry you will Mike. I'm just going to place this in steps calm down, readers just let me know. I've never gotten a bad review yet but who knows maybe this story could be the story. Maybe I'm way of ground here. I couldn't say for myself because I think all my stories suck. If it wasn't for ya'll I'd of stopped writing but ya say I'm good and you want to read more so here goes please tell me I want to know how off ground I am so R&R I'll be back!
Begin intermission: