Kate POV

I felt a gentle breeze ruffle my rumpled clothing and immediately, my mind was in a whirl wind of thoughts, as if sucked in while I had unconsciously fallen asleep.

Where is he? I wondered, did he make it up here yet? God, if he's not here, then . . . I didn't want to think of the alternative.

I didn't dare open my eyes, for once, I couldn't face the fear. I couldn't even look around because if he wasn't there, then my slightest hope the hope that I had with all my heart that he was alive, would be shattered into a million pieces. I would surely die here then, on top of this mountain, slowly fading away and waiting, just waiting, to join him.

The wind picked up and made me more awake. I felt jagged pieces of rock under my back and tried desperately to get comfortable, but couldn't. Suddenly, I remembered where I was.

I was on top of the mountain that I had climbed for most of the night, I remembered feeling so heart broken and grief stricken that I had curled in on myself and cried myself to sleep, waiting for him, but after what seemed like several hours, he hadn't come.

I curled myself up tighter, feeling something dry and sticky on my leg, I cautiously let my hand rest on the injured thigh and felt that the top portion was covered in my own blood.

I opened my eyes, and looked up just in time to see the sun slowly rising up from the bottom of a gentle abyss, the colors seemed to blur together and made the sunrise breath taking. I watched as the blues turned to purples, then pinks, until the whole eastern sky was a delicate pink, slowly making its way to red.

I looked down at my leg, refusing to look at my surroundings, the fear still dominating my being. I held my breath as I looked down to see that the bandage had long sense been torn off and that my leg was a bloody mess.

The bullet wound itself was clean, but it had started bleeding, the blood a dark red, even though it had long sense stopped.

While I was cleaning the wound, I strained my ears, hoping, praying, that there would be a gentle rustle of footsteps, hoping that the sudden breezes would pull his special and unique scent, hoping that there would be some indication that he was alive.

I waited, using a bottle of alcohol and cotton balls to clean my leg and put on a new bandage. Finally, I couldn't put it off any more.

I had to look up.

I tilted my head back, only to be greeted by the morning sun's rays, shinning bright on my face. I looked around, doing a quick 360 sweep that made my heart break.

He wasn't there.

I refused to believe it; my mind wouldn't even register the thought. I got up from where I was, so close to the edge of the mountain, and searched the whole surface, going behind bushes, looking for footprints, anything.

I knew that in my heart I wouldn't find anything. He wasn't there, I realized, suddenly very numb. I had scoured the whole mountain top, and he wasn't there. I could spend the rest of my life searching, and he still wouldn't be there.

"No," I whispered, my voice hoarse with fear, sadness, and above all, furry.
"No!" I yelled again, leaping to my feet, hoping that I would get an answer, but all I heard was my echo, my voice bouncing off the rocks and boulders of neighboring mountains, and finally, bouncing back to me.

Still, I refused to believe that I would never see his bright blue eyes again, never smell his unique scent, and never see his brilliant, rarely seen smile. He was the soul reason I got up every damn morning and marched my ass in there an hour early, just to have an extra hour with him, alone in the quiet and peaceful bullpen. I would never have those moments ever again, I realized.

I slowly sank to my knees, shaking uncontrollably, my tears were hot as the slid down my cheeks, I felt each tear burn its own hot trail, and yet, it wasn't enough. The pain that was slowly and viciously gnawing at my center, where my heart used to be, wouldn't stop. I wanted to just make everything pause, end it, right now, but I knew that I couldn't.

I don't know how long I sat there, curled up, but suddenly, I heard a crackling of rocks and a steady stream of curses.

I didn't move from where I was, only curled up tighter, my grief still pouring out, when I heard his voice, the voice of a man that I had thought to be dead.

"Kate!"

It was a fearful cry, one of not only fear, but of joy as well. I felt his strong arms encircle around me and hold me tight against him, but I still refused to uncurl.

I didn't know if he was just a fantasy, a hallucination from all the pain and exhaustion, and I didn't want to know. I wanted this to last forever, just to hit the pause button and make myself comfortable in this mans arms for the rest of my life.

"Kate?"

This time, the voice was questioning, hinted with concern as he gently put me down and slowly, carefully, as if I were just a frail child, uncurled me.

"Katie, it's me, open your eyes," he whispered, I could smell his scent and knew that even if this was a hallucination, my mind wouldn't be able to dream up his specific smell. It was a mixture of many things, indescribable, and yet oh so sweet.

Slowly, ever so slowly, with tears still sliding down my face, I obeyed. Immediately, I was greeted by the sight of those bright, piercing blue eyes that I thought I would never see again, vibrant, and full of life, and concern, concern for me, that ate up my heart.

"Gibbs," I breathed, still too shocked to let it fully register.

He gave me his signature smirk and nodded.

I jumped at him, throwing my arms around his neck and making him fall back onto his back. I cried into his shoulder and he held me tight right up against his chest, his arms wrapped securely around my back. I felt protected, I realized, I felt, home.

I stayed like that, with my arms around his neck, relishing the feel of his body beneath mine, breathing, moving, alive.

"God, I thought you were dead," I breathed, my sobs slowly coming to a stop.

He laughed, a real laugh, not the hard bark that was not often heard in the bullpen and said, "Kate, you think a few mobsters can take me down?"

I pulled away slightly, my arms still around his neck, he was still lying flat on the mountain's surface, looking up at me, his hands now at my waist.

I felt the tears well up again and whispered, "Then what took you so long to get here?"

I let one tear slide, and the whole dam seemed to burst open. Still, he was silent.

"When I was running, I was crying and worrying about you. When I was climbing this damn thing with my leg bleeding all over the place, I was still crying and hoping that you were ok. Hell, when I got to the top of this damn mountain I was still worrying about you! God, do you know what it was like, having to just sit up here, alone, in the dark, and hoping and praying that you were OK? Do you know what it was like waking up this morning and thinking that you were dead? Huh? Do you?"

I felt the tears pouring down my cheeks and dripping onto his shirt as he held me and let me blow up, he was silent throughout this whole ordeal, occasionally wiping my tears away.

Then, when he thought I was done, he shook his head, "I'm sorry," he whispered, to my amazement, "For putting you in that situation, Kate, I'm so sorry."

I stopped, and whispered, tears pouring down my cheeks, breaking me wide open, "Do you know what it's like thinking that the man that you love so much is dead? That you'll never be able to see his bright blue eyes again, never able to tell him that you love his smile, and, above all, never being able to tell him that you love him and that you have loved him ever since you met him?"

His hands were now on my cheeks, wiping away my tears, one by one. He was silent; his eyes were soft as they looked into mine. He slowly shook his head, and hesitantly, ever so slowly, pulled my face down to his so that we were inches apart.

"I'm breaking all the rules here, Katie," he whispered, a few centimeters apart, "Never did that before."

I shook my head ever so slightly and answered, "I'm right there with you, Gibbs, we'll jump this one together."

He nodded and pressed his lips firmly against mine, his hands in my hair and my arms around his neck just as the sun reached its apex and shone down on us.