Chapter 14 - Can't (Posted 8 April 2011)
"Marry?" Kendall stared blankly at James.
"Yes." James pulled Kendall closer and held onto him. "Kendall... you're my best friend. And I missed you so much, I'd do anything to keep you here with me. After you left... I imagined where you were and what you were doing. I wondered what you looked like. And then I saw you at my coronation, and I... I swear it was the happiest day of my life when I saw you standing there."
"But... you can't really want to marry me."
"I can, and I do. Kendall, I've been interviewing potential brides for years and none of them have ever held my attention for more than a minute or two. But... I think about you every day."
"You do?"
"Yeah. I've thought about you every single day since you left. And then once I'd seen you as an adult... well... the idea of marrying you really grew on me. I love you. And there was a time when you loved me too."
"James... when I said that, I meant it as your friend."
"I know, I meant it that way back then as well." James chuckled. "But things are different now. My love grew a lot and I... I love you so much, I want to marry you. I want you to be my consort because I'm in love with you and you can't tell me that you're not in love with me. I know you love me, I can see it in your eyes. You love me."
"I... I do... love you."
"See? Was that so hard?"
"Not as hard as telling you you can't marry me."
"Why not?" James's face fell. "This is what marriage is. Two people who love each other promising to spend their lives together."
"You're the King. You can't marry someone like me."
James pursed his lips as he brought one hand up to lightly caress Kendall's face. "Kendall, if this is about you being an escaped servant or because you don't have a father, I won't hear it. You know none of those things matter to me."
"They don't?"
"Of course not. You're the one person who managed to get my attention when all I could think about was myself. I Marked you and I intend on claiming what's mine."
Kendall finally put on that smirk James was waiting for. "Yours, eh?"
"That's right. Mine." James said, grinning.
"And what if I want you to be mine?"
"That depends. Do you?"
"I don't know..." Kendall looked away.
"Don't say things if you don't mean them." James appeared to be a little hurt.
"Sorry."
"I'll forgive you if you let me kiss you."
"No."
"Just to show you what it could be like for us..."
"No!"
"Why not?"
"You don't want me, James."
"What are you talking about? Of course I want you."
"No, you don't. And even if you did, you're the King. You can't marry me."
"Actually, that's exactly why I can."
"We're both men."
"That doesn't matter. There are no laws preventing marriage between two people of the same sex. I've heard of it happening a few times, and when issues arise about legality, I always allow it. My love for you wouldn't be any different if you were a woman."
"I'm not talking about the law." Kendall shook James off of him and stood, turning away. "You're the King! You need to be able to produce an heir."
"Oh..."
"Do you understand now?"
"I never... I never even gave that a thought. I will need an heir." James felt himself wanting to cry.
"See? You need to cut this Mark off of me and find a suitable woman..."
"But I don't want any woman! I don't even want any man, Kendall! Just you. I thought... I thought you'd want this and we could be happy... But I never even considered having children." James hung his head.
Kendall heard the sadness in James's voice and turned back to face him. He took a deep breath before speaking in a low voice. "I can't say I haven't thought about it."
James's head snapped up. "What?" he squeaked.
Kendall kneeled in front of him. "I've thought about what it would be like if I accepted your proposal."
"You have?"
"Yes. However, I knew it was impossible, so I didn't dwell on it."
"This... ruins everything. I can't just marry some girl for the sake of having an heir. I don't want to share my life with a stranger."
"She wouldn't be a stranger for long."
"Is this punishment for something?" James whispered.
"Don't say that..." Kendall lifted his hand and rested it on James's knee.
"I did this to myself. I was always selfish and then you came in and showed me how to make things better. It was fate that brought me to you and it is fate that's taking you away from me."
"I don't care much for fate." Kendall sighed.
"This is no time for your jokes. I love you! I don't want to be with anyone else!" James pushed himself forward onto the floor and into Kendall's arms. "Please don't make me take the Mark off. Please. I can't do it."
"Alright." Kendall hugged him tightly and patted his back. "You don't have to do it. I'll do it."
"No!"
"You don't expect me to keep it covered for the rest of my life, do you?"
"This is so stupid! We were just kids."
"I know. But I guess, if it's that important to you... I'll keep it on and do my best to hide it."
"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to do that, but... but..."
"Don't worry about it. I understand how you feel."
"Kendall... if I wasn't King... would you mary me?"
"Yes." Kendall admitted tenderly.
"I thought so."
"I do love you, James. You should know that."
"I know you do. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say it, though. I just can't believe this is happening. When you first became my teacher, all I wanted was to be King and for you to go away. But now... I'd give all of this up to be with you."
"Please don't say that. You earned this. And you're the perfect King, everyone is happy to have you taking care of them. You can't give that up."
"It isn't fair."
"You're right. It isn't. That someone as wonderful as you has to sacrifice some of his happiness for the sake of everyone else. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's you."
"And what about you? Don't you deserve to be happy too? We both deserve to be happy, Kendall. Together."
"I know."
"Can I please kiss you?"
"But..."
"Please, Kendall? Even if we can't get married... I've waited so long for you to return... don't you want to kiss me?"
"I didn't say that." Kendall chuckled a little.
"Then why shouldn't we?"
"We can't be together like that, James. I don't want to do something like that only to stop later."
James frowned. "But wouldn't it be better for us to have this time together now? It's better than nothing."
"Hmm..."
"You shouldn't have to think about it. If you really don't want to, I won't ask anymore."
Kendall bit his lip. Then he nodded to himself and stood up, bringing James with him. James stared sadly into Kendall's eyes. Once they were standing straight, Kendall grabbed James snugly around the waist. "You love me?"
"I've only said it a hundred times since you got here."
"I love you too." Kendall grinned wildly as he pushed forward and mashed his lips against James's.
"Hnugh..." James gasped into the kiss. His eyes closed and his knees got weak. Luckily Kendall was strong enough to hold him up.
"Wow." Kendall whispered after he realized he needed to breathe. His muscular arms were still supporting James's slack body.
"Yeah. Wow." James was still unable to stand on his own. Finally. He was finally back in Kendall's arms. And he'd just kissed him. Finally.
They were silent as Kendall half-turned them around and pushed James back on the bed. James scooted all the way back and laid flat as he watched Kendall crawl on top of him. "I... um... well, I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say now..."
James reached up and touched Kendall's pink lips. "Just say you'll stay with me tonight."
"Stay?"
"Stay. We can take a bath and wash that gunk out of your hair. And then we can come back to bed and... let things go as they will. Unless you don't want to."
"No, that sounds really nice. I want to stay with you."
James glowed. "Thanks. In the morning we can notify your family of your return. I know we should probably tell them now... but I need you right now."
"It's ok. They'll understand."
A/N: Meh. I'm not exactly loving this chapter. But the next one should be better :)