I FINALY DID IT!I SO FUCKING DID THIS! AND I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT IMMA DO NEXT CHAPTER! SORTA, okay no more screaming.
***Sorry for the upper dupper late update i was going to post this about a week ago, but every time i did it said 'An error has occurred while processing your request' and it wouldn't upload it really pissed me off! so not all my fault it's that late... Thanks to touchstone67 who helped me figure how to post this and as always thank you to my fuckawesome betas' Amber and Cris(:
**In case you forgot what happened last chapter. Edward and Jacob broke up. That's it really, oh and Jacob talked about his past and Esme and Carlisle came home...ummm Alice broke up with James. We learned that Alice is a bit of a tomboy unlike in other story where she's all girly and stuff. Umm and yeah this is femward if u don't know what it means it's just, gay Edward just slightly feminine. It's a mXm.
WARNING: it's rated M. and it's a slash. don't know what slash is? Google it. This chapter might be a bit ummm emotional?
Disclaimer: Meyer owns the character names right? Anyway only the plot is mine...or something like that idk.
I think it's lame that we have to warned people of what the story is like. I mean it's rated m for a reason. I even said Slash mXm can't people read? And it says twilight for category don't it? So LAME. Anyway i'm done venting...babbling whatever you want to call it.
Enjoy(:
xoxoxoxo
I woke up with a pounding headache. My face felt stuffed, my throat was dry, and my heart felt like there was a hand around it squeezing. I was
so fucking tired of the pain. So many times I picked up the phone to call—I didn't think I could go the rest of high school without talking to him or
touching him, and being friends wasn't an option. But every time I dialed his number, Leah's face when she was talking about Jacob appeared in
my mind.
I had ended up turning off my phone and crying again. Ugh! I didn't even want to think about how much school would suck today. I had Chemistry
with him...great. I didn't know if I'd be able to act all bubbly—Happy Eddie.
In times like these I wished I wasn't a cheerleader. I would have skipped but I couldn't. I could fake sickness, but Coach Creagh would ask for a
note from my parents. I didn't want to explain to my parents why I needed a note for school. It wouldn't be hard to fake sickness to my coach, but
my mom and dad would ask too many questions. Questions I'm not ready to answer.
"Edward, sweetie, are you awake?"
I groaned, turning around, and buried my face in the pillow.
"Edward, you have twenty minutes to get ready. Don't be late, honey."
ugh! Mom, please just leave.
"I made banana muffins, your favorite."
I looked at the clock on my nightstand. Eight a.m., gee half an hour of thinking. I guess I couldn't do my normal morning routine. Good, because I
didn't feel like looking good today. I felt like shit and I might as well look the part.
I sat up and sigh. "I'm up, mom." My throat was hoarse, and I wondered whether she heard me. I yawned and stretched my arms above my head
as she entered my room, opening my curtains. Gosh, why can't the weather be shitty too?
"Hey, you feel better, sweetheart?" She sat down next to me and ran her hand through my hair. I moved away. A flicker of hurt passed across her
face. She dropped her hand and looked away. I got up and headed to the bathroom for a shower.
She knew I hated when people touched my hair, except when it's... No, I was done thinking about him. I'd never move on if I kept thinking about
him. I hurried through the shower, something I never do even when I was late. Wet, soap, rinse, dry, dress, and done. I took my gym bag and
went downstairs for my car.
"Ed, come here for a second," Dad called from the kitchen. Great, I was hoping not to talk to any of them today.
"What?" I grunted out with a grimace on my face. I knew I was being rude, but I really didn't feel like talking to anyone.
"Have breakfast with us. You still have some time before you need to leave."
"Not hungry," I mumbled, going to the garage.
"Edward." Dad's voice held a warning.
Fuck this! I really didn't want to deal with his shit right now. "When you become president, dad, you can pass a law that says kids must have
breakfast with their family every goddamn day," I said, my voice coming out calm and collected to my surprise.
Dad was too shocked to respond. I swear if Alice opened her eyes any bigger they might pop out.
"Edward Anthony Cullen!"
I don't think I've ever seen my mom this mad before, and I've done worse.
"What, mom, is it a fucking crime to skip breakfast?"
"Watch that mouth, young man," dad said. His voice came out strong and calm, which meant he was extremely pissed.
This was a side of dad I had only seen once, when my uncle had called me an abomination, a disgusting demon spawn who should go back home.
Hell. But I was too pissed off to care about what I was saying.
"I can't watch my mouth, dad, but I can watch yours if you'd like," I said, like if I was talking to a three year old.
"Continue with that smart mouth of yours and you'll be grounded for weeks," Dad said.
"You know what, since it's so god-damn important to you guys, I'll have a fucking muffin!" I screamed, getting one from the oven. Mom walked out
of the kitchen.
"Your mother woke up early to make you those muffins, so stop being inconsiderate! She thought it would make you feel better, what with all the
crying you did last night!" he yelled, growling the last sentence.
"All I want is for you all to leave me the fuck alone for one day!" I yelled, exiting the kitchen.
"You're grounded; you come back home right after school. You hear me? I'll call to make sure you did." His accent was coming out stronger than
ever; he was beyond livid. It scared me a little. I'd never seen dad like this before.
"I'm taking your car, Alice." My Mini Cooper was too sunshiny, and I wasn't in the mood. I left. I could have stayed and argued more but I'd rather
not be grounded till graduation. School then home? Keep dreaming, dad. I had a life, unlike him. God, all this happened so fast it almost felt like a blur.
I didn't think dad had ever been this angry with me before. I'd never seen this side of him before, most likely why Alice didn't have any smart ass comments to say.
I arrived at school in record time. It was a wonder I didn't get a speeding ticket. I parked my car in front of the Athletic Building, aka "footalley".
The place reeked of sweat and fart and armpits. Maybe I'll enter through Building One, I thought. Except it's a long way to the cheer room. Ugh. Footalley it was.
Vanguard Team was out on the band field practicing. No one else was out beside a couple football players, heading for the locker room.
"Edward!"
I turned around to see Jesica smiling at me, holding Mike's hand in hers. I smiled back and waved, but it was fake and I guess she noticed because she frowned, walking faster.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm good—great," I said, trying to smile.
Her frowned deepened. "I'll see you later babe." She turned and gave Mike a quick kiss on the lips. She grabbed my arm. "What happened?" she asked, walking us to Cheer.
"Jake and I broke up."
She gasped. It was the first time I had said this out loud, and fuck, the hand around my heart squeezed harder. My stomach dropped and I felt like I had just been punched in my gut.
I stopped in the hallway, hunched over. I couldn't breathe; the pain was too much for me to bear.
I guess it hadn't really sunk in that we broke up.
There would be no more running my hand through his beautiful hair. No more kisses in the dark after a victorious game. No more touches of that
beautiful tan chest. No more waking up in strong perfect arms.
No more Jacob Black and Edward Cullen. No more...nothing.
It was all over. I couldn't breathe. I kept gasping. I felt myself getting closer to the floor, black dots spotting my vision. I vaguely heard someone
saying my name when my vision went completely black.
I woke up with a start. I felt pressure against my hand. Someone was stroking my palm with their thumb. The pressure was light, almost like the
person was afraid to damage my hand. The touch was familiar—warm, smooth and gentle, but still strong. It was a touch I had come to memorize,
one I would find myself always seeking. Jake.
I opened my eyes. He was staring at me. At least he looked just as bad as I did. His eyes were small and puffy. He looked like he hadn't slept in
years. His brown eyes were hazel. It was the same color when he was aroused.
"Edward," he whispered. He moved his hand toward my head. "Edward," he whispered again, and a tear fell out. He leaned in closer, moving his
head slowly toward mine. My stomach was free falling, my heart beating so hard I was sure a person in Arkansas could hear it. He pressed his lips
to mine. This wasn't a playful or hard kiss like Jake usually gave me. This one was like our first kiss, soft and tentative.
And just like our first kiss he tasted like cinnamon. I got a waft of his vanilla aftershave. The kiss went long enough for me to pant out, "Jake." He
pressed his forehead to mine and started crying. Cue in my sprinkler. We were both crying, looking in each others' eyes.
"Why?" I asked.
"I can't deal with the guilt anymore."
I cried.
"Baby, I'll break up with her. I'll do anything you want, anything. I love you so much, Edward."
"I love you, too."
"Then don't break up with me."
"I have to, Jake. I just can't deal with the guilt anymore. I don't want to deal with the guilt of knowing that you broke up because of me." By this
point I was crying so hard it was hard to breathe and talk at the same time.
"You won't be the cause of our break up, I promise. I don't love her like that anymore. I thought I did, but I don't. You won't be the cause of it, I promise."
"Then what? We go back to our secret relationship? I don't want to go back in the closet again, Jake. At first I loved it; it was exciting, thrilling,
fun...but I don't want our relationship to be in the dark all the time. I love you, I really, really do, but I don't want all the secrets anymore. I just...c-
can't," I said, tightening my arms around his neck while he tightened his arm around my waist.
We stayed like that for a while, just breathing each other in.
He sighed, sitting back up. I went back to the single bed in the nurse's office—somehow I had ended up on his lap.
"So then...friends?" he said, rubbing his neck.
Honestly? I thought it would be better for us never to cross paths at all, but the thought of never hearing his voice say my name was impossible to contemplate.
"Friends," I repeated. Friends can hug, right? They can touch and sometimes kiss, right?
"So then, what made you faint?"
"Lack of food," I lied.
"Hmmm. You know, Jesica woke me up screaming at me that I was a scumbag and some other derogatory words I would rather not repeat."
"Oh. Did she? I wonder why?" I acted stupid, something I was very good at, believe it or not.
"Riiiight. But I'd like to know, too. I could still be home right now," he said. Jake had a free first period. Well, technically, he had study hall with his football coach.
"How long was I out for?" I changed the subject. I so did not want him to know the real reason why I fainted.
He checked his watch. "You were in La-la Land for half an hour now."
"Oh, I missed first period. Shit, I had Ania." My Spanish teacher was really nice when she was in a good mood but downright evil when you skipped her class, even with an excuse.
"Oooh, sorry man, should've got a free period like me and no Evil A."
"I'll get 1st period free next year, and you don't have a free a period, you have a blow-off class with your football coach. He kisses your ass every time he gets the chance. I mean, you're his paycheck."
"Dalton doesn't go near my ass—trust me, I wouldn't let him. Besides, it won't be as good as this year ba—Eddie." I ignored the almost slip-up and smiled.
"You're right, it'll be better cuz I'll be in it. Bitch." I grinned up at him. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, shook his head, and smiled.
"What? No comments from the king of comebacks?" I teased.
"Oh. No, I do. I just choose not to say anything, Eddie. And what? Bitch? Really? What are we, female now? Call me a dick if you want to call me
something like that. Please no more bitch, I beg of you." He over exaggerated the last sentence, lacing his hands together in front of his heart. Oh
shit! I didn't have any make-up on and I'd been crying, and my hair! Oh god.
Jake must have seen the panic written on my face."What's wrong?"
"Hand me my cheer bag. Please." I didn't really know why I was freaking out—it wasn't like he'd never seen me without make-up.
"Here." He handed it to me. I frantically looked for my make-up bag and mirror. Score! Found it. I opened the mirror and shrieked. Jake jumped and the nursed knocked at the door before entering.
"Everything—oh, Edward, you woke up—great. Jesica asked me not to call your parents. She said they were busy dealing with something. How are you feeling?"
I turned my face away from her to the other side. "Could you please leave for a couple of minutes?" I asked, still looking to my left.
"Umm, sure, honey, just call me when you're ready." She walked out, closing the door behind her.
"What was the scream? You almost gave me a heart attack."
"My face, Jake! My face, eyes, hair. It looks like dog poop," I whispered, on the verge of crying again.
"Edward, you need to stop freaking out so much about shit like that. You look good—maybe not as beautiful as usual, but still good. And please, we're not in third grade anymore; it's dog shit. Not dog poop. For the love of God, keep up with it."
"Shut up, Jacob, I say what I want...and I still think I look like shit," I said, starting my make-up process.
"How do you not poke your eye out with that brush?"
"It's called mascara. For the love of God, keep up with it." I usually saved the foundation for football games or competitions, but today I'd use
some. My skin looked absolutely horrible. It didn't help that I also skipped my normal morning routine.
"Whatever. I don't need to, to survive in high school."
"Oh, but sweetheart, you'll score major points with the girls if you do."
"I don't care much about them."
"What happened to the 'I'm not gay I'm bi' dude?" I asked, stooping to look at him.
"well maybe someone made him realize something."
Time to change subject. "Ugh! I don't know what to do with my hair," I complained.
"Leave it as it is, it looks fine," Jake said. Hmmm. Ponytail? Or messy bun? Definitely not down. I washed it but forgot to condition, and I skipped
straightening it. It has its natural curls, but I don't like it. Messy bun it is. I put my hair in a bun and looked at myself. I gave my face a four out of
ten. If I added my clothes into account? A two. I was wearing my cheer sweatpants with a white loose t-shirt and flip flops. Ugh! Well at least my
pants were tight. They were all I had, so they had to do.
"Jake, do you have any Chapstick?" I asked, looking around in my bag for some.
"Are you crazy? Fuck no! I don't need or like it, and you don't need it either."
"Jake, it's not gay for guys to use Chapstick." I sighed, closing my cheer bag.
"Yeah, okay, whatever you say. I still don't like that crap."
I sighed again. "Okay, I'm done, you can call her back."
The bell rang as soon as I spoke, and the nurse knocked again before entering. "Are you done, Edward?"
I looked up at her and got out of the small bed. "Yep, all done." I gave her my big performance smile to make up for looking away from her earlier.
"All right, good, here's the paper you'll need to give to the attendance office. Sign down here and you're free to go."
I signed and took the paper and smiled at her again.
"All right, you're good to go. And thank you, Jake, for staying with him. It's good you guys are best friends." She touched his shoulder and left
again. We followed her, waving good bye as we walked past her.
"So second period, you ready?" Jake said as we walked down the hallway, threading through the mass of bodies. Everyone smiled at us, with occasional waves.
"English, so yawn." Most boring class ever. Not the subject, just the teacher.
"There's a new student in your class, I heard. Sam texted me."
"How do you know he's in my English class?" I frowned. I didn't know he was psychic.
"Sam texted me," he repeated. When my frowned deepened he added, "He's also in football, and Sam is in charge of welcoming new football
students and showing them their classes and stuff. You guys all have the same English class."
"Oh, new face."
"Yeah, Sam says he's pretty chill and stuff."
"Good." I smiled.
"Well, here's your class. I'll see you at lunch?"
"Yeah."
"Have fun in English."
"Like I said before, yawn."
He turned around and laughed, waving at me without turning around.
I walked into the class, going to my seat. There, sitting next to Sam, was a Greek god.
xoxoxoxoxo
Did you enjoy it? YES or NO post it..and tell me why please?
Who is the Greek god by the way?