Jellicle Swears.
Based on Harry Potter Puppet Pals Wizard Swears, me and my best friend love Harry Potter Puppet Pals
AN Some cats might be a little OC in this.
I strongly advise you to watch Wizard Swears before reading this, I tried my best but it might not be enough.
Some things I had to change do to the character description.
Some swears are changed as well.
Disclaimer: I do not own Cats or Harry Potter Puppet Pals.
Characters:
Harry: Etcetera= Cettie
Hermione: Mr Mistoffelees= Misto
Ron: Pouncival= Ponce
Snape: Rum Tum Tugger= Tugger
Dumbledore: Old Deuteronomy= Old D
Neville: Plato
Cettie: Guys, Old D posted a list of words that are banned from the Junkyard. I didn't know Jellicles had swears.
Misto: Of course they do Cettie, they're called Jellicle swears.
Ponce: Ohhh like Caldron bum. (I couldn't think of anything else)
Cettie: Really? That's adorable.
Misto: Oh there worse than that. Read some Cettie.
Cettie: Let's see here. Son of a Pollicle. That's useful.
Misto: Swish and Flicker,(Tails) that's my favourite.
Tugger:*Coming on stage* Uh hum. Do my ears detect foul mouthedness?
Misto: Oh no Rum Tum Tugger.
Cettie: Macavity's nipple!
Tugger: Excuse me?
Misto: Cettie.
Tugger: I refuse to have this filth spilled in my presence Etcetera. 500000 points from Gryffindor. (They have houses.)
Ponce: Pollicle bogeys! *Everyone peers round.
Cettie: Everybody run. *Fluffs up Tugger's mane*
Everybody runs.
Tugger: Huhhhh. Rabble rousers.
Cettie, Misto and Ponce: Hehehe.
Cettie: Huhhhh that was fun. Oh. Hi Plato.
Plato: Hello Etcetera, Mr Mistoffelees, Pouncival. What's up guys?
Ponce: We're saying Jellicle naughty words like Jiggery Pokey.
Plato: Huhhhh! My grandmother forbids me from saying bad language.
Cettie: Well your grandmothers a blastened stank.
Plato: Huhhhhhhhhhhh!
Misto: She doesn't mean it Plato. She's just testing out some Jellicle swears.
Cettie: I mean every word I ever say, ever. Because I'm Etcetera. *Thunder claps*
Plato: I'm telling Old Deuteronomy. *Runs away*
Ponce: You're such a broom head.
Plato: *Still running.* This is against the rules.
Cettie: *In front of Plato* I can't let you do this Plato.
Plato: Oh no. No. I don't what to swear, my grandmother doesn't want me to swear.
Cettie: *In front of Plato* Are you a Gryffindor or not Plato?
Plato: I am a Gryffindor. But, but.
Cettie: Try it then. Here's the list say anything.
Plato: *Gulps* Huh, huh.
Misto: You can do it Plato.
Plato: Munkustraps, buttquack.
Misto and Ponce: Yayyyyy!
Cettie: You sicken me!
Plato: But, but it's on the list.
Cettie: Munk is ten times the man you'll ever be Plato!
Plato: Huhhhh.
Cettie: *Music plays.* Leave the Junkyard Plato, never come back.
Plato walks away.
Misto and Ponce: Yayyyyy!
Misto: You're quite the hellion today Cettie.
Ponce: Yeah you're right with boyish attitude. (I know Cettie's a girl.)
Cettie: Hey. Let's do a prank call.
Everyone gathers round the phone.
Macavity: Macavity speaking.
Cettie: Pollicle taint!
Macavity: * Cettie, Misto and Ponce laughing.* What you kids! If I ever find out who's calling me I will call the Jellicle police. And you will go to Jellicle jail and I will kill you cos I will seriously kill you!
Tugger and Old D walk on stage.
Tugger: Their they are.
Cettie, Misto and Ponce: Huhhhhhhhhhhh!
Old D: Rum Tum Tugger would like to have a word with you children.
Misto: Oh Pollicle turds.
Tugger: That is exactly the sort *Music plays and Tugger walks toward Cettie, Misto and Ponce.* vulgarity I want to eradicate from the distinguished halls of the Junkyard. The additions of the Junkyard must be upheld and respected, the founders surly would,
Cettie: Muggle***Prohibits, Tugger.
Tugger: WHAT?
Cettie: You fobbly wanded Pollicle bother.
Everyone looks at Cettie.
Ponce: Electra's sock.
Tugger: Old D, I urge you to banish these monsters.
Old D: Oh Tugger let them have their flab doodle.
Tugger: But you're the one who banned the words in the first place.
Old D: Really? I don't remember five minutes ago back to your sulking.
Tugger walks away.
Misto: Thank you so much Old D.
Old D: Alas. You're welcome.
Cettie: Old D, you're obscenely old right?
Old D: Why yes.
Cettie: Do you know any super ancient, lost to the ages, archaic, olden times Jellicle swears?
Old D: Err, well there is one.
Ponce: I want to hear it!
Old D: The Elder swear. *Music plays* But you must never repeat it to anyone.
Misto: We won't Old D.
Old D: Hear it is. *Takes a deep breath* Your mother is a ***** in****Laura Lisbon***** ** Advinvon venom******Pirogue and ************Hippopotamus*********Republican***********Daniel Radcliff ******** With a bucket of***********In a castle far away where no one can hear you********Soup*********With a bucket of************ Mickey House*********And a stick of dynamite************Magical**************Ala Kazam!
Ponce: Wow.
Old D: Now you know. You must never ever repeat it ok? * Music plays*
Cettie: We promise sir.
Cettie, Misto and Ponce:*To Plato.* Your mother is a ***** in****Laura Lisbon***** ** Advinvon venom******Pirogue and ************Hippopotamus