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I DO NOT OWN The Vampire Diaries OR ANY OF CHARACTERS.
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Chapter 4:
As I lay there in Damon's arms I just had to say something.
"You know, you don't have to be so strong all the time" I said,
"What do you mean?" he asked,
"You know, its people you love that's out there, fighting thousands of years old vampires too"
I said, he did care, didn't he?
"I have to be strong Elena" he said flatly,
"And you know, everything I need is in here" he said stroking my hair,
A smile crept on my face, and I knew he smiled too.
"Damon" I sighed,
"I know, I know" he said, and I really hope he did.
"I hope you do" I said
"I've never said it out loud, you know, I've always figured, what's the point?" I said,
I didn't know why I wanted to tell everything to Damon, but I did.
"Elena, I can't" he looked at me with those amazingly blue eyes, but they were different, sad, hurt, guilt, things you'd never imagined to see in Damon's eyes.
Suddenly he was standing, and I was too, he looked at me like he never had before.
"I feel Elena, I can't take anymore hurt, I can't, I'm sorry,
I'm not the kind of guy you want me to be, I'm not good, it's not in me, I kill people,
I'm not human, and I miss it! I miss it more than anything else in the world!
It's not who I am, I don't do good, I'm hurt, broken, guilty, sad & alone,
And it's gonna be that way for the rest of eternity,
Because I have to live with the feeling of loving a woman I can never have, and even worse,
I have to hide it because I could never bring my little brother the pain and agony,
That I have to live with everyday of forever!"
I tried to take Damon's words in but it was all too much,
He looked at me like he had killed me,
He apologized for loving me, it was so surreal,
I hated to see him this way,
You could see that he had an inner battle everyday and had to live with it forever,
You could tell he was hurt and you could tell that he cared, even for Stefan.
He was inches away from me; I had backed away so I was against the wall,
And he had his fist in the wall trapping me there.
"Damon" I said barely a whisper, I had to say something,
"Maybe this is who you are now," I choked out,
"I don't want you to be anything else than you are, but you are good and you do care,
I know you do, you love and you feel, that's you're humanity," I said,
Looking at his beautiful face, so sad and pained,
I had a hand at his neck,
"Love does that Damon, it changes us" I said,
I had a knot in my stomach, I could cry at his expression on his face,
"Damon" I whispered,
His hand moved my hair back my ear, it touched my cheek and send electricity through my entire body.
"I love you just the way you are Damon" I said, looking deep into his eyes,
"I love you Elena, more than anything else in the world" he said.
I couldn't help it; he leaned in closer to me,
My hands flew up around his neck and tangled themselves in his dark hair
My body arched in against his,
Our lips met and it was fireworks,
He kissed me like there was no tomorrow,
It was like nothing I ever experienced,
It was passionate, loving, caring, hot, needing and desperate,
Like something we had waited our whole life for.
I had to breathe, but I didn't want to pull away, but I had to.
I pulled away; we leaned out foreheads against each other's and caught our breaths,
"Wow" I got out, he grinned, "Yearh, wow,"
In a second we were on the mattress, he was leaning against the wall, and I was at his side, in his arms.
"There is no place in the entire world; I would rather be than here with you" he said,
I got lost in his eyes, I nuzzled into him, I wanted to be as close to him as humanly possible.
He tipped my chin up and looked into my eyes; it felt so natural when he kissed me.
It was like we fit perfectly, his lips were amazing, and I could kiss him forever.
I laid my head on his rising and falling chest; he nuzzled into the crook of my neck.
"I love you Damon" I said,
"I love you" he whispered in my ear and kissed my forehead.
"You need rest" he said, like he was going to move away,
"No, stay" I said holding him,
"What?" he asked surprisingly,
"Stay, here with me" I said,
"Do I have a choice?" he grinned,
"No" I smiled,
"But stay here, right here" I sighed, getting comfortable in his arms as he lay down on the mattress, using his leather jacket as a pillow.
He smiled and kissed me,
Then I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, I still saw his blue eyes and big smile in my mind, and I got all hazy by his wonderful scent.
The only place I wanted to be; in Damon's eyes.
And right there, in that moment, I didn't care about anything else.
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