AH! HIATUS SUCKS! Well, here's chapter 3 of my Phantom Parody!
Carlotta the Disclaimer: We. Do. Notta. Own. Le. Phantom.
Me: As simple as that!
Le Parody de l'Opera: 2004 Edition. YES!
*Okay, so, the freakin opera is over. We're in the opera house. So. Many. People. I ARE AFRAID!*
Andre: *gives ballerina a cigar.* HERE IS A PRESENT!
Ballerina: Thank- *robotic voice.* SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED! *waits one second, then blows up.*
*People being to run around fearfully like little ants from an anthill that just got a bottle of water poured on it. I LAV ANTS! XD*
Meg: *walks casually through the mess of fearful people. She passes by a two-year-old in time out, crying his eyes out in a corner when she enters the hallway place.*
*Meanwhile, while the little crushable people are running around, there's a tiny little room with a bunch of candles, and a big angel mosaic, thing.*
Picture of Gustave/Christine's Dad: *whining.* It's not fair! I'm called Gustave, as carved above, yet Sarah Brightman calls me 'Charles' in some music video. Truly, I hate BOTH names, and I wanna be called BOB! *weeps*
Christine: BURN MY CANDLES! BURN I SAYZ!
Candles: *in unison.* Yes master. *instantly burn very brightly without any matches, lighters, torches, or mega-awesome deadly flamethrowers.*
Christine: *laughs evilly, and, apparently, has fangs.*
Erik: Uh…..brava.
Phangirls who, personally, like the play more than the movie: OMGZNESS! YOU IDIOT! YOU SHOULD'VE SAID "Bravi"!
Christine: *returns to normal, naïve, fangless Christine and looks around sacredly.*
Meg: *enters the room and sits next to Christine.* CHRISTINEEY-TEENY-LEANY-BEANY-WEENIE!
Christine: Hiya my younger, less-talented-at-singing, and more-talented-at-ballet, best friend!
Meg: *jumps up and down.* HOW DID YOU SING SO WELL?
Christine: The angel of music, who may or may not be my father.
Meg: I think it's your father! Even though I'll go on to say that stuff like that is fiction. In fact, as we speak, we are fiction.
Christine: Whatcha talkin' bout willis?
Meg: Can't you see Christine? We're in a fan fiction parody of the real, 2004 POTO movie! Can't you tell? We're talking in chat script!
Christine: *scoots away from Meg.*
Meg: Oh, no one ever believes me! *runs away, crying.*
Christine: *runs after her.* COME BACK FRIEND!
Joseph Buquet: *watches Christine run off.* I'm so not gonna die anytime soon. *takes a swig of the 45 gal. Coca Cola bottle he's holding.*
*In Christine's dressing room that- ACHOO-that-ACHOO-THAT-ACHOO-THAT-ACHOO-THAT-ACHOO-THAT-AAAAAAACHOOOOOO! Sorry! Pollen allergies! Like I was saying, in Christine's dressing room with too many flowers that cause allergies like mine…*
People: WE WANT DAAE! WE WANT DAAE!
Madame Giry: *holding shotgun, shooting off people.* NO! *shoots.* NO! *shoots again.* Go away before I blow you away *starts singing fiercely.* Like it's 1999! *shoots off more people, then closes the door.* Ah. *puts down gun and gives Christine a rose.* You did well my dear. He is pleased with you.
Christine: Who?
Madame Giry: He.
Christine: Who?
Madame Giry: *annoyed.* He.
Christine: Who?
Madame Giry: *frustrated.* HE! THE FREAGIN PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! THE ONE WHO WILL MOMENTARILLY TRY TO BRING YOU DOWN INTO HIS UNDERGROUND LAIR! *looks scared.* I shouldn't have said that.
Christine:…What?
Madame Giry: *facepalm.* Never mind. *leaves.*
*Outside, where there are many corpses…*
Andre: YAY! WE DIDN'T DIE!
Firmin: Thank Gaul. *gives Raoul a huge bouquet of flowers and starts talking deadpan-ish.* Here, take this, and, no matter how much we beg, don't let us visit her with you.
Raoul: *shrugs.* 'Kay. *enters the room.* Sup 'Stine.
Christine: *overjoyed.* RAOULY BEAR! *hugs Raoul.* I'VE BEEN VISITED BY *starts singing dramatically* THE AAAANGEL OF MUUUUUUUSIC!
Raoul: *…..gets hugged.* You did nicely. Wanna come get something to eat with me?
Christine: I'd love to, but the *starts singing again.* AAAAANGEL OF MUUUUUSIC *stops singing.* says I can't.*
Raoul: *whines.* Aw, come on! I ordered a freakin' $48.99 carriage for two!
Christine: Well…..um….
Raoul: *quickly.* I'm takin' that as a yes. 0.3098574359874 minutes! *rushes out of room, slamming the door behind him.*
Erik: *right in front of Roaul.*
Raoul: *pushes Erik aside, not noticing he's the freaggin PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!* Scuse me ma'am! *runs.*
Erik:…..*walks and locks door with an awesome, black key with a rope-thingy hanging off.*
Madame Giry: *turns to audience/camera/?* Told ya! *grabs a bottle of ketchup and starts drinking it.*
Christine:…*stands there for a minute, staring at the door, shrugs, and goes to put on different clothes.*
Candles: *start going out.*
Particular Candle in Christine's Dressing Room/Candle #98 8/45: *face of Porky Pig appears in the flame.* Th-th-th-th-THAT'S ALL FOLKS! *flame goes out.*
Christine: *turns evil again.* NOOOO! YOU SHALL BE AVENGED! *turns normal.* No, shut up Gollum! *turns evil.* NO! WE WANTS OUR CANDLES TO BURN SO WE CAN FIND THE PRECIOUS! *turns normal and starts banging head against wall.* NO! I WON'T LET YOU! *turns evil.* OW! OW! YOU SUCK! *turns normal.* NO! YOU SUCK! *turns evil.* NO, YOU SUCK! *turns normal.* JUST GO AWAY GOLLUM! *turns evil.* FINE! THIS MOVIE ISN'T EVEN MY STYLE ANYWAY! *turns normal…for good. Oh, and stops banging head on wall.* There! Victory! *falls down.*
Erik: *hasn't seen or heard any of the so called 'epic battle' of Christine and Gollum.* INSOLENT BOY, THIS SLAVE OF FASHION! BASKING IN YOUR GLORY! IGNORANT FOOL, THIS BRAVE YOUNG SUITOR- *sees Christine and stops singing.*
Christine: *still laying on floor.* Umph, Angel, I, am, sorry. *makes an attempt to move hand, and fails…EPICALLY!*
Erik:…Uh, I'll just wait 'till you get your strength back
*so much time that it would be cliché and just too corny to put the exact amount later…*
Christine: *picks self up.* Okay, I'm good.
Erik: *sitting, playing cards with Antonio Salieri.* Got any jacks?
Salieri: O_O *gives him 2 jacks.*
Erik: *notices Christine.* Oh, yeah, hey. *turns to Salieri.* Alright buddy, time to go.
Salieri: But, but-
Erik: Go away, figment of everyone's imagination. *shoos Salieri away.*
Salieri:….*is forced to walk away, out of/off the story/set.*
Erik: Now, where was I, oh yes. *starts singing again.* SHARING IN MY TRIUMPH!
Christine: ANGEL OF MUSIC! YOU'VE FINALLY COME!
Erik: Come to me angel of music…I am your angel of music.
Christine: *walks towards Erik.*
Mist: *magically appears because of the sad day that Scrivener Elves started being used as paperwork managers and not wedding decorators.*
Christine: *sings dramatically while walking.* AAAANGEL OF MUUUSIC! GUIIIDE AND GUARDIAN! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT TO MEH YOUR GLORYYYYYYYYY! AAAAAAAANGEL OF MUUUUUUUUUUUUSIC! HIIIIIIDE NO LONGAAAAAAAA! TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE ! *finally gets to the Phantom and grabs his hand.*
Erik: *takes her hand.*
Organ Music: DAHN! DAHN DAHN DAHN DAHN DAAAAAHN!
Erik: [Thinking to self: Yes, this moment must not be interrupted, not even by a-]
Me: CLIFFHANGER! Sorry I'm ending it at like, the BEST scene and most AKWARD place to end it, but I gotta pace myself.
Carlotta: *mocking Christine's evil Gollum counterpart.* WE WANTS OUR PRECIOUS!
Me: That's not gonna fool me.
Carlotta: And why is that?
Me: Because I'm the one writing your dialouge!
Carlotta:...
Me: Alright, R&R/RUER/JRTTAWONYFLRSCAISR (Read & Review/ Read, Understand, Enjoy, Review/Just Read Then Think About Whether Or Not You Feel Like Reviewing Such Content And If So Review)! Flames will be used for...warming our hearts. Okay, cut the sappy talk, they'll be used for torches for excavators that I've hired to find the lost 1916 POTO silent film in Germany.