Transcend into Descent Chapter TWO, a twilight fanfic

I don't own the Twilight series.

Bella is not anorexic, not yet anyway.

Chapter Two:

Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable.

"Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt. He took a deep breath.

"Bella, we're leaving."

I took a deep breath too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask. "Why now? Another year- "

I gulped in air trying to suppress inevitable panic. Edward continued to stare at me whilst leaning against the tree. This bugged me. Why is he staring at me? I wonder and look down at my hands, my body and legs before twisting around to view my backside. I don't get it do I have bird crap in my hair I wonder.

I look up at Edward confused, pleading for answers. He sighs impatiently and reaches behind the tree. He indicates for me to look at it. It is a full length mirror. So what's so special about that? I think. What am I not seeing?

Edward rubs his temple frustrated and indicates for me to look at the mirror.

I suppress a scream. I hold my breath and shake my head furiously. There is a stranger staring back she is very plump, and has my eyes and hair. I look down at my hands and touch my face. I am huge. When did this happen I wonder shocked. I feel sick and disgusted I have got to get out. The green surroundings morph into my room.

I sat bolt upright panting before I jumped out of bed and run to the bathroom. I fell nauseated and scared. I am sitting on the edge of the bathtub shaking. Slowly and shakily I bring myself to look in the mirror above the sink. Phew. I am not huge but I still can't shake the image from my head and my morbidly obese reflection flashes before my eyes. I burst into tears.

I had to know how much I weighed now. I need the confirmation. I felt bile rise in my throat repulsed at the image in my dream. I look at my watch. It is 5am on a Monday morning. Plenty of time for a run I haven't done that yet. I feel an urge to, like never before. However I need to know my weight, so I take off my clothes, pee, and brush out my hair. I need this to be accurate. I can feel it like a compulsion as I zero the scales and mark the spot on the bathroom floor for future reference. I need to be thorough. I think my desperation over something like this would alarm me normally but something in the deep recesses of my mind overrode that and I gave over to it. I stepped onto the scales making sure my feet were perfectly aligned on the scale and stood perfectly still.

117.9lb! Shit I thought repeatedly in my mind. It's not good enough I think not pausing to wonder why, I hurry into my bedroom and put on my sport gear and brush my hair back into a messy ponytail. I run down stairs and tie the laces of my pristine white runners before skipping out the door to slip on the porch and jog into the rainy cold dark morning.

An hour later I find myself back to where I started. I was for better words, stuffed. I never knew exercise hated me that much. Right there and then I vowed to myself that I would change that. Charlie was leaning against the door frame with a scowl on his face. Crap. Think Bella think!

"Hey dad!" I say almost overenthusiastically. Take it down a notch Bella. Right I reply to myself.

"I'm sorry if I worried you. I-I I was awoken by a noise earlier and decided to try out my knew exercise gear." I replied letting innocence flood my tone. Charlie's expression thankfully had changed to a look of suppressed amusement. Okay that's better than a scowl. Now close the deal Bella I tell myself.

"What is so funny Dad?" I ask casually. Charlie chuckled before saying "I just didn't think you would actually go for a run, because you know..." I feel blush flood my cheeks which are already flushed. "Hey that was really hard" I whine playing along with it. "Is there something wrong with trying to be healthy? Do you want me to go back to the way I was because I thought this may be good for me..." I ask letting my voice trail off. Charlie looked slightly alarmed but quickly went onto say how proud he was for me to be finding such a "healthy coping mechanism" and some other stuff that sounded like blah blah blah to me. It also confirmed what I needed to know. Charlie was not worried anymore. I grinned and rushed upstairs to shower and get dressed in clothes that I decided to keep.

The school day went by painfully slow. But at least I was courageous enough to start socialising again. Jessica was wary and Lauren disgusted but apart from that Angela told me she was glad that I was back which made me feel like crying and smiling at the same time. Mike, Tyler and Eric were all too keen to enthusiastically launch into conversation with me. I guessed they still liked me and were keen to forget about my brief phase of zombie mode. Ben was with Angela so he made me feel noticed too. All the attention made me feel self-conscious knowing that I was still heavier than I used to be but that was soon forgotten once the final bell chimed.

I was luckily one of the first students out of the parking lot which meant I could get to the shopping mall quicker and indirectly meant I could be done with clothes shopping earlier. I decided on finding the basics I didn't bother with trying them on, I already knew what my size used to be. So I focused on getting size 2s and a few zeros just in case. My mind growled at my lack of determination; I usually dtest shopping for clothes with a passion. No I was getting size zeros for when I get there I reprimanded myself. I didn't get much I got a few pairs of low rise skinny jeans one pair was dark denim size 2 the other was a miniscule black pair size zero. I made a snap decision before I left to get a double zero, which my mind reluctantly let me think could be for a just in case. Somewhere deep in my mind however vowed that it would get me into the black pair of doubles zero skinny jeans. I barely noticed that though because I was too busy reluctantly picking out a few others size zero clothes that I would need once I had emptied my other clothes I no longer was going to keep into a good will bin.

When I came home I was exhausted and thirsty, so I found myself in the kitchen sipping iced water. I knew the amount of calories burned off from drinking iced water and although it figured to be a miniscule amount I couldn't help but drink it in hope that it would do something. You need all the help you can get my girl mind chirped, this time rather snidely. I internally growled at it to shut up for a bit. I saw a piece of paper on the faux marble counter. It was a note from Charlie which read:

Out with Billy for the night,

I will be home for dinner tomorrow.

Love Dad

I scrunched it up into a funny shape before tossing it in the bin. This was good. Charlie obviously felt that I was okay enough to be left alone. Come to think of it Charlie hasn't spent more than a working days' worth of time away from me since... This was good and that is all that matters I thought. The last thing I needed was for that wretched hole to consume me again.

Before I knew it I had finished the glass of water and was dragging my sorry ass to my bedroom. The desk evilly beckoned me. I obliged by neatly arranging the little stationary I had in a little orange cup and pulled out my math homework. I could not help but groan when I finished only 20mins later. Now to move onto comparing Shakespeare and a modern day text for my English teacher. Groan this was going to take comparatively longer. And it did, almost 3hrs it took me to write a draft, proof read it and type it up then recheck it. I hated having things incomplete and the urge to complete things has been slowly increasing I have noticed. This pleased me for some odd undefineable reason.

I was minding my own business daydreaming, and the home phones annoying electronic ring rudely interrupted me, causing me to jump and fall out of my cheap desk chair. "Fucking phone... better be good..." I mumbled as I skipped down the stairs. It was Billy's home calling. I wonder what he wants. I thought as I picked up the phone. However I was pleasantly surprised by an enthusiastic voice.

"Bella, hi! It is me Jake!" Jacob Black idiotically said making me giggle like a little girl. Inspiration hit and I found myself cutting Jacob off. "Jake come over I am really lonely and it must be super boring hanging around Tipsy One and Two" I whined slash ordered slash begged. There was a brief pause before Jacob replied a hurried "Yes" then hung up. Wow Charlie and Billy either are really annoying or Charlie suggested he call, I figured it was predominantly the later but maybe a bit of annoying drunk dads helped.

I paced the kitchen as I waited for Jacob to arrive. I was excited. We hadn't hung out together for the longest of time. I found out that I missed him so much. I kept glancing at the clock and realised I missed dinner; oops I thought sarcastically. I knew skipping meals was wrong but dinner was the least worst if that made sense. I thanked god that I was not hungry. Oh crap what if Jake was hungry. Knowing him he wouldn't be satisfied until he ate a herd of elephants made out of either pizza or hot dogs. I laughed out loud at the idea but was caught mid laugh by Jacob banging loudly on the door.

"Hey Bel-"I jumped on him before he could finish and giggled childishly. For some reason I felt so happy I reminisced on the times we used to spend together and remembered how he always tried to get me to go for a run with him and any other ridiculously physical things like that, that he could think of; once he even showed me a group of older teenagers jumping from a cliff to see me scream in fear for their lives just to tell me it was a sport. I smiled inwardly because I found some new motivation and outwardly because Jacob was here. Shortly I realised I was laughing and could not stop to save my life. I looked up into Jakes black eyes and saw he sported a wicked grin. The bastard was tickling me!

I let rip a high pitched scream as if I was 5 all over again. Jacobs's expression faltered. He knew that was my battle cry. Now I was the one grinning wickedly. I ended up chasing him around the house throwing the couches cushions at him. Jacob retorted and we ran around the house acting like complete idiots until about 10pm. We still managed to sporadically laugh as we lent against each other on the couch. "I missed you." We said in unison which led to another 10 mins of laughing like dying cats.

"Oh Jake." He turned to face me. "I forgot to say hi so: Hi!" I wheezed. We both smiled and I slumped into the old comfy couch; Jacob got up and predictably went to the kitchen. I knew he was going to ask about food so I said there were flying saucers in the freezer and that he could help himself. "Want me to get you anything Bells?" Jacob said. I could already hear him unwrapping the god dam ice-cream. I wished I never bought them I thought quickly. "Just some diet coke thanks..." I replied.

Jacob returned with two ice creams one in his mouth the other in the left hand, and two tall plastic cups balanced over a 3l diet coke. Thank god for artificial sweeteners I thought as I skulled the first glass.

We both ended up playing super-smash-bros on the wii Charlie bought at Christmas in an attempt to cheer me up. I thanked him silently. I also relished how Jacob and I didn't need to talk to communicate. It meant we didn't have to bother with the boring chit-chat to catch up. I liked that he was a warm presence in my life that I could always rely on. We were best friends and I knew nobody could change that.

By the time it was midnight we were both sleep on legs. Jacob just crashed on the couch leaving me to wiggle out from underneath him. I felt slightly hungry but I pushed that feeling aside and went to bed. Only to be woken at 5am by Jacob and he wasn't even awake; his snores sounded like explosions despite him sleeping downstairs. I was so going to get him but not before I weighed myself. The bathroom tiles were cold and I could hear the steady pitter-patter of rain outside; typical Forks. I nervously prepared to get weighed. The usual; remove everything from person, pee then brush hair before aligning the scales in the exact position and zeroing it. I twiddled my thumbs and stepped on. 116.0lb flashed on the digital screen. I couldn't help but smiling. Not eating dinner seemed to have made all the difference. I gleefully skipped back to my bedroom and recorded my findings and my weight. Making my way downstairs as quietly as I could so not to wake Jacob, I slipped on my exercise gear and pounced.

Swear words I never even knew existed erupted from his mouth as he jumped up causing me to fly across the room laughing the whole way. Note to Bella, Jacob is a tank. It took him less than a minute to realise what had happened before he went onto making wise cracks. "Wholly shit Bella you look hilarious in the morning. Your hair is like one giant dreddy." He teased. "Oh is that how it is? I think you should leave" I mocked. I grabbed a brush I had left on the kitchen bench and quickly pulled my hair back into a pony tail. I honestly had no idea how or why my hair could get so messy, then again Jacob did throw me across the room.

"Jakey boy. I have my running gear on do you think you could beat me" I smiled wickedly; of course he could beat me. "Or would you like to go home?" I questioned and was answered by him sprinting out the door and onto the tracks in the forest near my house.

Bye the time we got back I was pressed for time to shower and get ready for school, so I only had time to gulp down the rest of the room temperature flat diet coke. My nutrition brain protested. Fuck nutrition, I replied then got on with showering and hurrying Jacob out of the house so I could get to school. Surprisingly I was early for school I felt almost content and the hole wasn't hurting me as badly as before. I sighed, turned off the engine and flipped down the mirror. My hair was mostly dry and hung limply, getting squished behind my back. I pulled it forward and brushed it carefully looking in the tiny mirror as I did. When I had finished I noticed that it almost touched my lap. I smiled; I have always liked having long hair. I quickly got out my exercise book out and wrote under a page I titled goals; "let hair grow longer". Once I noticed more people arriving I stuffed the book into the glove box and pulled my hair back into a high ponytail.

My first classes went by quickly. I felt really focused today and even surprised the teachers by asking and answering questions. Jessica had also seemed to have forgiven me, I just suspected it was because the boys were paying attention to me again. Lauren however remained her usual blonde bitchy self. Some things never change I thought with a sigh. She even had the nerve to comment on how I let myself go, and even rudely joked at pregnancy. Thankfully her attempt at ruining my friendship statuses I just recently acquired back went unnoticed. I poked my tongue out at her when no one was looking, sending her into shocked silence.

Lunch rolled around far too quickly. I found myself thinking of ways to not eat despite my knowledge. However an inner voice chided to me about how one meal skipped won't hurt. It hinted at how much weight I lost just by skipping dinner; I knew it was because I hardly ate all day but for some reason I found myself bowing to the voice. That slightly alarmed me at this strange new intrusive way of thinking as I bought a bottle of mineral water and an apple when my turn came around for picking up lunch. No one questioned me they just seemed enthused that I was speaking to them again.

Biology was painful but I got through and into PE. Mike seemed almost manically enthused to be my partner again. Coach Clap however was stunned into muteness once she witnessed me applying myself like never before. I told myself it was because I wanted to get an A+ but deep down a voice egged me so I would just burn more calories. I was buggered when school ended and just trudged up to the bathroom and prepared a bubble bath. That tinny voice tried to intervene by saying how I was meant to go off on a run or at least do some light stretches but I ignored it and enjoyed the bubble bath, letting my skin turn crinkly and the water cold before I pulled myself out.

I looked in the mirror before pulling my towel over my naked body and turned on my side. I liked the way my stomach was looking just from not eating it had receded which made me smile and the little voice cheer. My smile didn't last as my eyes travelled over my body. I kept finding faults I never knew were there or just did not care about. The imperfections stood out to me though the more I found them. Sort of like when you notice a line is slightly crooked in a drawing then all you can see is the crooked line instead of the drawing. Except in my case it was my body which I hastily covered up with baggy clothes. If I wasn't so tired I would have been appalled by my thinking but I ignored it and flopped on my bed. I told myself just ten minutes then I will do dinner and finish off today's homework but I drifted into blankness then sleep.

Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable.

"Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt. He took a deep breath.

"Bella, we're leaving."

I took a deep breath too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask. "Why now? Another year- "

Edward rubs his temple frustrated and indicates for me to look at the mirror.

"Bella! Bella are you alright honey? Are you awake?" Charlie's slightly concerned voice drifts into focus as does his face. "What time is it? I'll-go-and make um dinner now." I slur rather than state.

"Bella you slept right through dinner. And I just wanted to see if you were right to go to school." School... "Oh crap!" I shout jumping from my bed only to fall into Charlie. "Bella are you alright honey?" Charlie asks whilst gingerly supporting my weight. "Yeah I am fine I guess I was just really tired. Did you know I actually managed to score in PE yesterday?" I gush out randomly. Charlie chuckled and walked off to get ready for work. I goofily smiled and went to the bathroom to weigh myself and got on with the rest of the day.

Authors Note: I am trying to link Bella's potential disorder in with Edward leaving. The dream started off as an almost direct quote from the book when Edward really was leaving Bella in the forest but it morphs over time to symbolically reflect her emotional unease. Sorry about the soft ending to the chapter but the last sentance sort of has multiple meanings; hinting at the start of normalisation of an abnormal behaviour I hope is one of them.

Once again Read and Review; comments, criticism and praise is wanted/welcomed!