Scene opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey is standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee. Enter Annette from the bathroom, in a bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her hair.
Joey: Morning.
Annette: Hey. Ooh, coffee!
Annette pours herself a cup, as Duck Jr. waddles out of the bathroom.
Joey: Oh, THAT'S where he was hiding at this morning!
Annette: Yeah, we had ourselves a little shower. It's...interesting to have a shower mate.
Joey smiles, then looks at Annette.
Joey: Do you know where the chick is?
Annette points to a basket on the table next to the recliner. Chick Jr. is seen on a bed of fake grass, chirping. Theme song and title sequence play.
So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is standing at the counter, fixing breakfast. Emma is in her highchair at the table, eating her breakfast. Enter Annette.
Annette: Morning.
Ross: Morning, Annette.
Annette: Sorry to bother you this early, but do you have any eggs?
Ross: I think there's a few in the fridge. How many do you need?
Ross opens the refrigerator to look for eggs.
Annette: I'm not sure, Joey asked me to come grab some. He's cooking breakfast for us.
Ross turns from the fridge to her with a shocked look on his face.
Ross: Joey? OUR Joey?
Annette: Yeah. Why, is that not a normal thing?
Ross: In all the time I've known Joey, he's never once COOKED anything. Ate what others cooked that wasn't tied down, yes. But cooked? No.
Annette: Well, I think it's a sweet gesture.
Emma holds out her arms to Ross.
Emma: Dada.
Ross lifts Emma out of her highchair, and holds her in his arms.
Ross: Do you wanna watch TV, sweetheart?
Emma nods. Ross turns on Sesame Street, and sits Emma on the couch. Enter Rachel from their bedroom, in her pajamas.
Annette: Morning, Rachel.
Rachel grunts, as she walks over to the coffeepot. Ross walks over to the refrigerator.
Ross: She's not much of a morning person, until she's had coffee. Anyway, here's those eggs Joey wants.
Annette: Thanks. I hope he didn't burn down the apartment, trying to cook us breakfast.
Rachel looks up with a shocked expression.
Rachel: JOEY'S cooking breakfast?
Annette: Yeah.
Rachel: We're talking about Joey TRIBBIANI, right? The same Joey?
Ross: Yeah, that was my question to her too, hon.
Joey runs into the apartment, panting.
Joey: Hey Ross, do you have a fire extinguisher?
Ross: No. Why?
Joey's smoke alarm starts going off.
Joey: Uh...no reason.
Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Mike and Phoebe are sitting on the couch. Ross and Rachel are sharing the armchair. Joey is sitting in the chair at the end table. Annette walks over with several cups of coffee.
Annette: Okay, we have two lattes for Mike and Joey, a decaf for Phoebe, and two regulars for Ross and Rachel.
Annette turns to Joey.
Annette: Oh, and the muffins will be up in a few minutes.
Joey: Thanks.
Mike: Why don't you join us for a few minutes? I wanna hear about how this job is for you.
Annette: Oh, I can't. We're not allowed to sit with customers while on shift. Gunther said something about the "Rachel" rule?
Rachel blushes, and hides her face in her coffee cup. Ross, Phoebe, and Joey look at her with bemused looks. Joey turns to Annette.
Joey: Oh, hey, I scheduled you an appointment to meet with my agent when you're off work today.
Annette: Thanks, Joey! Do I need to change at all, before we go?
Joey: Nah, I think you'll be fine with that.
Ross: Yeah, Joey went to see her in his bathrobe.
Joey: Hey, she still agreed to represent me, didn't she?
Phoebe: She thought you were dedicated to your art! She didn't know you forgot to put pants on!
Joey: I didn't forget, they were in the hamper!
Rachel: Joey, you used them as bedding for the chick and the duck. They were in the TRASH can after you were done. We had to buy you a new pair.
Annette giggles, then looks behind her as Gunther calls to her.
Annette: Oh, the muffins are done. Okay, did you want the apple cinnamon, or the blueberry?
Joey: Yes.
Annette: Which one? Apple cinnamon, or blueberry?
Joey: Yes.
Annette looks confused.
Rachel: Uh, honey, that means get both. If there's one thing Joey Tribbiani is good at, it's eating. He once ate the entire turkey at Thanksgiving when I was pregnant with Emma.
Joey: Proudest night of my life, too.
Annette stares for a few seconds, then walks off to get the muffins. Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey is sitting in the recliner, watching TV. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Hey.
Annette: What're you watching?
Joey: Oh, just some movie.
Explosions are heard from the TV. Annette looks over.
Annette: Is that Die Hard? I LOVE that movie!
Joey: Really?
Annette: Yeah!
Annette grabs a stool, and starts to scoot it over to the living room to sit down and watch the movie, but pauses in thought.
Annette: Hey, you know what we need?
Joey: What?
Annette: POPCORN. This is not the Die Hard movie experience without popcorn.
Joey: Oh, you're right!
Annette: There's a popper in my room, I'll fix some.
Joey: While you do that, I'll fix some sandwiches.
Annette: Sandwiches? Joey, we're fixing popcorn. How much more do we need?
Joey: Sandwiches and beer.
Annette shakes her head, as she gets up and brings out an air popper, pouring popcorn seeds into it. Popper starts popping popcorn into the bowl. A few minutes later, she sits down with the bowl between them on the table, next to the sandwiches. Joey reaches over to get some, as the phone rings.
Joey: Hello?
A pause. Joey groans.
Joey: Oh, no. I am SO sorry, we both forgot.
A pause.
Joey: Yeah, we can come by tomorrow. Okay, bye.
Joey hangs up, and turns to Annette.
Joey: Guess what we forgot to do?
Annette: Add salt and butter to the popcorn?
Joey: Oh man. Can today BE any worse for forgetting things? Besides that, we forgot to go see my agent today.
Annette groans.
Annette: Damn you, Die Hard! And your good plot that mesmerizes people!
Joey: Don't worry, she'll meet with you tomorrow.
Annette smiles.
Annette: Thanks, Joey.
Joey: Hey, no problem. That's what friends are-Oh, it's the TV dinner scene!
(A/N If you haven't seen Die Hard, it's the scene where Bruce Willis comments "Now I know how a TV dinner feels.")
Joey and Annette turn back to the movie. Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's house. Monica is vacuuming the carpets. Chandler is sitting on the couch, with Jack and Erica on both of his knees.
Chandler: You know what we should do?
Monica: What?
Chandler: We should have the gang over for a housewarming party.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Monica, it's a PARTY. This gives you a chance to organize and host a PARTY. Are you telling me you're going to turn down the chance to do that?
Monica: No, of course not! It's just...well, this is a bad...damn it, Chandler! Now I have to start planning this out!
Monica puts up the vacuum and leaves the room. Chandler smiles at the twins.
Chandler: And that, kids, is how you get Mommy to give you what you want. Tomorrow, we'll work on getting rid of her in a hurry.
Monica sticks her head in the room.
Monica: I heard that!
Chandler (to the twins): And Daddy is now officially dead.
Scene ends and opens in Mike and Phoebe's apartment. Mike is sitting on the couch, watching TV. Phoebe comes in from the bedroom, and snuggles up next to him on the couch.
Phoebe: Do you know what we haven't done in a while?
Mike: What's that?
Phoebe: Had a Date Night.
Mike: Hmm, you're right about that. Hey, remind me to talk to Joey tomorrow.
Phoebe: About what?
Mike: Annette. I'm sorry, Phoebe, I know he's your friend and all, but given his history with women...
Phoebe: Mike, you have to trust him. But if it'll make you feel better, I'll talk to him tomorrow about your concerns. But you have to admit, he's done a lot for her since she got here. And she seems really happy, too.
Mike sighs.
Mike: I agree, it's just...I'm concerned for her. Honey, she IS my cousin.
Phoebe: I know. And she's family. But she's a big girl, Mike. We have to trust her. Like I said, I'll talk to Joey tomorrow.
Mike: All right. I love you.
Phoebe: I love you, too.
Mike and Phoebe turn back to the TV. Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's kitchen. Monica is standing by the counter, making a cole slaw. Enter Chandler.
Chandler: Getting ready for the party?
Monica: Yep.
Chandler takes out a plate of hamburger patties.
Chandler: Did you marina-
Chandler looks over to see Monica glaring at him.
Chandler: Never mind.
Chandler puts the plate back in the refrigerator, and closes the door.
Monica: Honey, why don't you go get the grill prepped?
Chandler: Monica, it's a propane grill. All I have to do is turn the gas on, and press a button. It's so easy, Joey can do it.
Monica: Hey, that reminds me: has Joey seemed a little strange to you lately?
Chandler: Well, considering this IS Joey you're asking about, define "strange".
Monica: I mean, strange. Even for Joey. Rachel called me the other day to say he almost burned down the apartment complex trying to cook breakfast.
Chandler stares.
Chandler: Joey was trying to cook breakfast? Since when was he able to operate a stove?
Monica: I think he's trying to impress Annette. You think he likes her?
Chandler: I don't know. I mean, it's JOEY. Since when does Joey not like a pretty woman?
Monica: Well, talk to him tomorrow, would you? I know Phoebe was going to, but I told her you would. Mike's concerned about Joey making a move on her, and hurting her when he's tired of the sex.
Chandler nods.
Chandler: I'll see how serious it is. But still...Joey cooking BREAKFAST?
Monica smiles, and walks over to kiss him. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Monica, Joey, and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting in the armchair. Phoebe and Chandler are sitting at the end table. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey, everyone.
Numerous greetings float back to her. Annette turns to Joey.
Annette: Your agent is amazing. She got me an audition for a Broadway play coming up in a month. Although for some reason, she thought I was recommended by someone named "Leon".
Joey: So when's your audition?
Annette: Tomorrow. I'm going in after I get off work.
Joey: Oh, okay.
Phoebe: Does Mike know yet?
Annette: No, I was about to call and tell him.
Monica: While you're at it, tell him that Chandler and I are having a housewarming party next week. We want you all to be there.
Annette: Really? Thanks, Monica!
Monica: Annette, you're a member of the group now. Of COURSE we'd want you to be there!
Annette smiles, and pulls out her phone to call Mike. Chandler pulls Joey off to the side.
Chandler: Hey, man. I gotta ask you something, and it's not an easy thing to ask.
Joey: What's up?
Chandler: Well...
Joey looks at Chandler.
Chandler: Can you bring some chips to the party?
Joey: Sure. What kind?
Chandler: Sour cream and onion.
Joey makes a face.
Joey: Aw man, you know how much I hate those!
Chandler: I know, that's why it wasn't an easy thing to ask. The last thing I want is your breath to smell like a dirty Frenchman all day, either.
Joey: Very funny. Hey, can you come upstairs for a moment? I need your help with something.
Chandler: Okay. I don't wanna know what you're planning, but curiosity requires me to ask.
Chandler and Joey exit to his apartment. Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's living room. A second identical recliner sits next to the table.
Joey: What do you think? Will she like it?
Chandler: Well, it's no diamond ring, but I'm pretty sure Annette's not going to object to a place to sit and put her feet up after a hard day's work.
Joey grins.
Joey: I had a hard time tracking down an exact model of this one. Hey, thanks for helping me bring it up.
Chandler: I doubt those kids who wanted to do it were very happy when we hijacked their rope to haul it up the side.
Joey: Hey, we offered to get them ice cream!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I don't think a group of twenty-something college kids would be interested in ice cream.
Joey walks over and opens the refrigerator.
Joey: You want a beer?
Chandler: Sure. And I'm willing to bet, so did those kids.
Joey grins, and tosses a beer to Chandler. Chandler goes to sit in the new chair, but Joey hurriedly stops him.
Joey: No, not there! Sit on the couch!
Chandler: Why? It's a chair, what difference does it make?
Joey: Well...I want her to be the one to break that chair in. Remember when we first got the comfy chairs?
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think we moved for days.
Joey: I want her to have that experience. You know?
Chandler looks at him.
Chandler: Joey, are you crushing on Annette?
Joey: Why?
Chandler: Well, the way you've been acting, for one. Cooking her breakfast, or at least attempting to...
Joey looks sheepishly at Chandler.
Joey: Who told Monica?
Chandler: Rachel. And Phoebe said Mike is concerned about Annette, too.
Chandler places a hand on Joey's shoulder.
Chandler: I'm not trying to be the bad guy, Joe. But given your history with women, I can see why Mike would be concerned. If you DO like Annette, just take things slow, all right? Don't rush anything.
Joey nods.
Joey: Actually, it's nice to have someone here again. It's been a little...lonely since Rachel moved out. And I do like Annette, but I every time I think of making a move, I have this vision of Mike coming after me with a baseball bat. Tends to put an end to anything I'd try.
Chandler smiles.
Chandler: I don't think Mike would come after you with a bat. Though I can't say the same thing about Phoebe...
Joey nods in agreement, then whirls around at the sound of a key scraping the lock. He leaps across the apartment, and slams the door shut as Annette starts to open it.
Annette: Joey! What the hell are you doing?
Joey: You can't come in here right now!
Annette: Why not?
Joey: Because! Because...Chandler's in here naked!
Chandler looks at Joey in anger. Joey shrugs.
Annette: Oh...kay. Well, I need my cell phone. I left it lying on the counter.
Joey grabs the phone and hands it out to her.
Joey: Go to Ross and Rachel's place for right now. I'll come get you as soon as Chandler has his pants back on.
Annette: Joey, what are you hiding?
Joey: Nothing! What makes you think I'm hiding anything?
Annette: Because one of my ex-boyfriends tried this one time, when he wanted to propose to me.
Joey makes a "help me out" motion to Chandler. Chandler sighs.
Chandler: No, Annette, I really don't have pants on. We're soaking them right now, because Chick Jr. decided to crap on them.
Annette: Oh. Okay, well just call me when you guys are done doing whatever it is you're doing in there.
Joey: We will.
Scene cuts to the hallway. Ross and Rachel walk up, holding hands. Annette turns away from the door.
Rachel: Hi, Annette. I thought you were going home?
Annette: I was, but Joey locked the door. He and Chandler are planning something in there, and they won't let me in. You two mind if I stay at your place for a while, till they finish whatever it is they're up to?
Rachel: No, not at all. Actually, we were going to ask if you and Joey wouldn't mind watching Emma for a while tonight. Ross and I have dinner reservations.
Annette: I'd love to! What time?
Ross looks at his watch.
Ross: In about an hour. You wanna come over now?
Annette: Yeah. Give me just a sec, there's one thing I wanna do quick.
Annette turns back to her apartment, and bangs on the door.
Annette: Chandler, get your pants on & scram! We're having Emma over, and I don't want her scarred for life!
Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Annette is sitting at the table with Ross, holding a cup of coffee.
Annette: You know, this is odd. I work at a coffee house, yet here I am, sitting in your kitchen, drinking coffee right now.
Ross: You wouldn't believe the number of times I've heard Rachel saying that when she worked there.
Enter Joey.
Joey: Hey, Ross. How long till we need to have Emma over?
Ross: Actually, Phoebe offered to babysit, so you and Annette can do whatever it is you wanted to do tonight.
Joey: Cool. Do you have a hammer I can borrow?
Ross: Yeah. I don't know how long you need it for, but Rachel just went in to get changed.
Joey: Oh. So basically, we have a couple of hours.
Rachel (from bedroom): I heard that!
Annette: What are you two doing over there, anyway?
Joey: Nothing! Don't go over!
Joey leaves quickly, slamming the door. Ross and Annette look at each other in confusion. Enter Rachel in a beautiful green gown. Ross turns to her.
Ross: Wow. You look amazing.
Annette: You really do. I'm jealous, I want an outfit like that.
Rachel smiles. There is knock on the door. Enter Phoebe and Joey.
Phoebe: Hey. Oh, Rachel, you look gorgeous! You two are gonna kill them at dinner tonight.
Rachel: Thanks, guys. (to Ross) Are you ready to go?
Ross: Yep. Just need to get my phone.
Ross exits to the bedroom. Joey turns to Annette, and hands her a blindfold.
Joey: Here, put that on.
Annette: Why?
Joey: That, or close your eyes.
Annette glares at Joey, and puts on the blindfold.
Annette: If you stick any ice cubes down my shirt or I see a naked Chandler in any fashion, you'll be walking funny for weeks.
Joey: Well, I wasn't going to, but thanks for planting that idea in my head now!
Annette: Joey...
Joey takes Annette's hand and leads her to their apartment.
Joey: Okay, you can take that off now.
Annette removes the blindfold, and sees the new recliner with a sign sitting on it that says "Annette's". Annette gasps.
Annette: Joey! Oh my god...
Joey: Do you like it?
Annette: I LOVE it!
Annette hugs Joey.
Annette: But why did you buy it?
Joey: Well, I didn't think it was nice to see you sitting on the stool to watch Die Hard, so I went out and found a match for my chair. It wasn't easy.
Annette: How much was it?
Joey: Don't worry about that. Hey, sit down! Try it out!
Annette smiles, removes the sign and sits down in her chair, sinking into it in a relaxed state.
Annette: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Joey sits in his chair.
Joey: OH yeah, that's the stuff!
Annette looks over, and grabs the foot rest lever.
Annette: Joey? Do we dare?
Joey looks over to see what she has, grabs his own lever, and nods.
Joey: We dare.
They pull the levers. The foot rests come up, to groans of bliss. Louder groans are heard, as they kick back the reclining position.
Annette: I don't think I'm moving off this chair for the rest of the night.
Enter Ross and Rachel.
Ross: Hey guys, we're taking off, so we thought we'd-
Ross and Rachel see Joey and Annette kicked back in their chairs.
Rachel: Oh, not again!
Credits appear on screen.
CREDITS SCENE:
Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch in their living room. The TV is playing How I Met Your Mother.
Chandler: Is it just me, or does that Barney guy remind you of Joey?
Monica: THANK you! I kept trying to think of who it was all night!
(A/N Sorry this was late. As I stated last week, I ended up with a nasty head cold. I hope you all enjoy this week's episode. Also, a quick thanks to Boris Yeltsin and xstarrynight61, for the continued weekly support and well wishes, respectively.)