Scene opens in Central Perk. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey, guys.
Ross: Hey.
Annette: Rachel, can I borrow your earrings? You know, the ones with the little sapphires? I have an audition this afternoon.
Rachel: Oh, I loaned those to Monica for her dinner date with Chandler last night.
Annette: Damn, those would've matched my outfit perfectly. Oh, BTW, you guys might wanna cover your eyes in about 3...2...1...
Rachel: Why?
Annette: Topless Joey.
Enter Joey topless, with his skin dyed a bright green.
Joey: VERY funny, Annette!
Annette: The Martians have landed!
Joey glares at Annette and walks out, with "We Come in Peace" written on his back. Theme song plays.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Enter Rachel and Phoebe.
Phoebe: So Annette really dyed Joey's skin green?
Rachel: Yeah. Apparently, she poured lime Kool-Aid into the shower nozzle, then waited for him to go take a shower. It took Joey five showers over here before he got the dye out of his skin.
Phoebe laughs.
Phoebe: Wait until Mike hears about that.
Rachel: I know, Joey's going to be so embarrassed.
Phoebe: Do you think they'll be ready for the housewarming party today?
Rachel: Yeah. Ross talked him into not getting back at Annette until after Monica's party.
Phoebe: Did you talk to Annette about holding off until afterward?
Rachel nods.
Rachel: I explained to her about Monica's little quirks, and she agreed not to prank Joey until they got home. But I don't know how soon she'll be there, she had an audition this afternoon.
Phoebe: Oh. Well, I'm sure she'll make it.
The door opens. Enter Ross with a shopping bag in his hands.
Ross: Hi.
Rachel: Hi, honey!
Rachel walks over and kisses Ross. He sets the bag down on the counter.
Ross: So I talked to Joey, and he's promised not to prank Annette at the housewarming party. But just to be safe, I went over and cleaned out all the prank stuff in their apartment.
Phoebe: Is that all? That's not so bad.
Ross: That was just all the stuff JOEY had. There's three boxes in the hall full of Annette's prank gadgets.
Phoebe: Wow, three boxes? She must really like Joey.
Rachel: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Mike told me the other night that Annette was really big into pulling pranks and practical jokes on guys she really likes, when they were kids. If she still is, then I think Joey should feel honored.
Rachel: If I know Joey, he's thinking ways of getting her back, and making sure that Chandler doesn't find out about the Kool-Aid incident.
Phoebe walks toward the door.
Phoebe: Well, I'm gonna go home and get ready for the party. I'll see you two lobsters later.
Phoebe walks out, as Ross brings the boxes inside. Rachel goes over to with a smile, and kisses him deeply.
Rachel: Hey, you.
Ross: Hey, you.
Rachel wraps her arms around his waist, and looks up at him.
Rachel: What do you say after the party, we drop Emma off at your parent's place, and have our own little party, just the two of us?
Ross: I would say...that sounds like a great idea.
Ross leans in to kiss her, as the door opens. Annette starts walking in with circles around her eyes, but begins backing out.
Annette: Oh! I didn't know I was interrupting, sorry.
Ross and Rachel stare at her.
Annette: What?
Ross: Are you related to raccoons at all?
Annette: No. Why?
Ross and Rachel start giggling.
Annette: What?
Rachel: You, uh...you might wanna go check your make-up.
Annette: I'm not wearing any.
Rachel: Are you sure?
Annette walks off to the bathroom, with a suspicious look on her face. A few seconds later, a scream resounds.
Annette: JOEY!
Ross and Rachel burst out laughing as Annette walks out of the bathroom.
Annette: I am gonna KILL him!
Ross stops her.
Ross: Just tell us before you go to jail: what happened?
Annette: He asked me to look at a billboard a few blocks down. There was some smaller print on it I couldn't make out, so he handed me a pair of binoculars.
Rachel (laughing): Well, you got him with the shower incident, and now he got you back. So you two can call a truce until after Monica and Chandler's party, okay?
Annette: All right. I'll take this stuff off, and not get back at him. Until we get home.
Rachel: Wait! Before you do...
Rachel takes a picture on her cell phone.
Rachel: Christmas card.
Annette glares at her, as she walks out. Scene ends and opens in Mike and Phoebe's apartment. Mike is putting on a shirt, as Phoebe walks into the apartment.
Phoebe: Hi, honey.
Mike: Hey.
Phoebe kisses Mike, as she sets her purse down.
Mike: So, I just got a text from Rachel. Joey got pranked by Annette this morning?
Phoebe: Yeah, she made him dye his skin green. You can't tell Monica or Chandler about it. He'll die of embarrassment if you do.
A pause.
Mike: So I take it you wanna tell Monica?
Phoebe: YES, please!
Phoebe's cell phone starts ringing. She grabs it, and looks at the message on the screen.
Phoebe: Oh my god...
Mike: What?
Phoebe: Joey just got Annette back.
Mike: Oh, no. What'd he do?
Phoebe holds her phone out.
Phoebe: See for yourself. And Rachel called dibs on telling Monica about this one.
Mike looks at the screen, and sees the picture Rachel took of Annette. He starts laughing.
Mike: Joey's in trouble now.
Phoebe starts laughing with him. Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's house. Monica is in the kitchen, prepping food for the party. Enter Chandler.
Chandler: Where are the hamburgers and hot dogs at?
Monica hands him two plates with the requested items. Chandler turns to the twins, who are in the bassinet near Monica.
Chandler: Behold, son! We are men, we must now cook this meat! Come, your birthright awaits!
Monica: Chandler! You're not taking Jack out to grill meat! He's too young!
Chandler opens his mouth to reply, but is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. He goes over to open the door, revealing Ross, Rachel, Emma, Joey, Annette, Mike, and Phoebe. Chandler holds his hand up to Joey in a Vulcan greeting.
Chandler: I come in peace, space man.
Joey glares at Chandler, as he walks in. Enter Monica.
Monica: Hey, guys!
Monica looks at Joey and Annette.
Monica: No pranks while you're here. It's bad enough the twins are gonna be picking up Chandler's joke thing, I don't want them turning into pranksters as well.
Annette: I swear on Joey's sex life, I won't-
Joey: Wait, my WHAT? Swear on your own sex life!
Annette: Fine.
Annette turns to Monica.
Annette: I swear on both our sex lives, no pranks while we're here.
Monica: Joey?
Joey: Fine. I swear on Ross and Rachel's sex life, I won't-
Rachel: NO. You are NOT getting us involved.
Chandler: Too late! Your sex life now hangs in Joey and Annette's hands. How does that make you feel?
Rachel: Like I wanna kill those two if they pull one more prank.
Annette pulls out a joy buzzer and a can of itching powder from her jacket. Joey hands over a pack of gum.
Chandler: Gum?
Joey: Stains your teeth black. The guy at the joke shop said it'd be a guaranteed hoot.
Annette: What joke shop?
Joey: The one over on Fifth, on the corner.
Annette: Carlo's place?
Joey: Yeah. Why?
Annette: That bastard! He's been selling to both sides! That's where I got my stuff at. I'll hurt him later.
Mike stares at her. Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's living room. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the love seat. Monica, Chandler, and Annette are sitting on the couch. Mike and Phoebe are sharing the chair.
Mike: Oh man, I'm so full, I feel like I'm gonna burst if I take another bite.
Annette: Don't get any in my mouth, I'm out of room.
Numerous groans fill the room.
Rachel: I feel like I'm pregnant again.
Everyone turns and looks at Ross.
Ross: Don't look at me, I didn't do anything to her last night.
Joey walks in from the other room.
Joey: Hey guys, I gotta take off. I have a date tonight.
Annette looks up.
Annette: You have a date?
Joey: Yeah. Didn't I tell you this morning?
Annette: No, you never said a word about it.
Joey: Oh, right. Maybe because someone DYED MY SKIN GREEN.
Annette giggles.
Joey: Anyway, can you feed the birds when you get home? I don't know how long I'll be out for.
Annette: Sure.
Joey: Thanks. Bye, guys.
Halfhearted farewells follow him out. Annette looks over at Monica and Chandler.
Annette: Do you keep a forklift here? I feel like I need to be carried out on one.
Monica: If there was one here, I'd be on it right now, being carried to the kitchen. I don't know why I made that much food.
Ross: Those burgers you ate didn't help at all, Mon.
Monica: I only ate four of them.
Ross: You stacked them three high! Along with the cheese and condiments...
Monica: At least I stopped at four, Mr. Six Hot Dogs in three minutes.
Ross: That was Joey.
Monica: Oh, yeah.
Annette: I didn't think that was possible...that many hot dogs? That fast? Doesn't he have a gag reflex?
Phoebe: No. I've seen Joey eat gum from off the ground. OUTSIDE.
Annette stands up.
Annette: Well, I'm gonna head for home before I run out of the energy to move. Ross, Rachel, do you two wanna split a cab back?
Rachel: No, we're gonna stay here, so Emma can spend some time with her aunt, uncle, and cousins.
Ross: What she means is, we're too lazy to move.
Annette laughs, and walks out. Scene ends and opens in the hallway of apartments 19 and 20. Annette is standing off to the side of the door, easing it open. Seeing nothing spring out at her, she steps inside and turns on the light. Nothing is out of place.
Annette: Okay, Joey, I KNOW you left me a "surprise" somewhere. Where'd you hide it?
Annette checks the living room, seeing nothing amiss. Scene cuts to the other side of Joey's bedroom door. Joey is standing next to it, with an ear to the door, silently laughing. Annette goes into her room to change for bed, turning off the light. A few seconds later, the bedroom light comes back on and she screams.
Annette: JOEY!
Joey bursts out laughing, as Annette throws open the door to his bedroom.
Annette: WHY IS THERE A SNAKE IN MY BED?
Joey: Relax, it's a rubber snake.
Annette: It's a SNAKE! Get it out of there, NOW!
The door bangs open. Ross is standing on the other side, panting.
Ross: Rachel and I were on our way up, when we heard screaming. What happened? Is everyone all right?
Annette: No, everyone is NOT all right! He put a snake in my bed!
Joey: It was a rubber snake!
Ross: Really, Joey? A snake?
Joey: Hey, it wasn't a spider, at least.
Ross leaps onto the couch.
Ross: Spider? WHERE?
Joey: Ross, there's no spider, there's just a RUBBER snake in Annette's bed.
Ross steps off the couch.
Ross: Joey, I swear if I see a spider, I will hurt you.
Annette: Can you go get that snake, please? I don't trust this bozo as far as I can throw him.
She points to Joey.
Ross: Sure, hang on.
Ross goes into Annette's room, and comes out with the rubber snake. Annette imitates Ross, and leaps up on the couch.
Annette: Get that thing away from me!
Ross: It's just rubber, Annette.
Annette: Ross, one word: Spider.
Ross gets a fearful look on his face, and starts scanning the floor.
Ross: I think I'm gonna take this over to our place.
Ross exits with the toy snake. A few seconds later, a scream is heard from his apartment.
Rachel: GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT!
Ross walks back into Joey and Annette's apartment, and tosses the toy to Joey.
Ross: Get rid of it, or whatever you're gonna do with it. And if it shows up in our place again, you get to deal with Rachel.
Joey takes the snake to his room, as Annette shuts off her bedroom light and closes the door. Scene ends and opens the next morning in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey is in the kitchen in his bathrobe, pouring coffee. He reaches for the sugar bowl, spoons in two spoonfuls, and takes a sip. Joey suddenly grimaces, spits out his coffee, and pours it into the sink. He looks up to see Annette in her doorway in her bathrobe, with a smirk on her face.
Annette: Morning.
Joey: Salt in the sugar bowl. Cute.
Annette grins, and walks into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee.
Annette: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Annette picks up the salt shaker, and sprinkles some of its contents into her coffee cup. Joey looks at her suspiciously.
Joey: You put the sugar in the salt shaker, didn't you?
Annette: I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation.
Joey: Well, you better get ready, if you're gonna get to that audition today. I have to get to the set, my coma patient's waking up today.
Annette: Okay.
Annette goes into the bathroom, and closes the door. Joey smirks, as a few seconds later, the door is thrown open, showing a fuming Annette.
Annette: Saran Wrap on the toilet?
Joey: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Annette: Oh, this is WAR, Tribbianni!
Joey grins, as she goes back into the bathroom. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are sitting on the couch. Mike is sitting in the armchair. Annette walks over with coffee cups in her hands.
Annette: Here you go, guys.
Annette grins evilly as she hands over Joey's.
Annette: And I made sure I gave extra care to yours, Joey.
Joey: Thanks.
Joey waits until Annette walks off, then sets the untouched coffee cup on the table in front of him.
Chandler: What's up with that? I paid for that, drink it!
Joey: She laced it with salt.
Monica: Joey! She did not!
Joey: Then you taste it.
Monica hesitates.
Monica: Well, I would, but...you know, you wanted it...
Mike: She didn't lace it.
Monica: YOU taste it, then.
Mike hesitates, as well.
Mike: You know, I think I'm gonna get a muffin. Anyone besides Joey want one?
Joey: Hey!
Mike: I already know you want one.
Joey: Oh.
Mike stands up, and walks over to the counter where Annette's standing at. Joey watches as they whisper back and forth. Mike walks back over a few minutes later with two muffins. He hands one to Joey.
Mike: Annette says enjoy.
Joey sets the muffin down next to the coffee.
Monica: Okay, this has gone on long enough. I am putting a stop to it right now.
Monica stands up, and starts walking toward the counter.
Mike: Monica, hold on.
Mike follows her, and pulls her off to the side, whispering to her. Monica walks back a few seconds later and sits down, with a grin on her face.
Monica: On second thought, go right ahead and continue, Joey.
Joey looks at them suspiciously.
Joey: What'd Annette and Mike tell you?
Monica: Nothing.
Joey looks over at Annette, who is standing by the counter. Annette turns to Mike with a smile, and nods her head. Mike smiles, turns to Monica, and nods his head. Monica smiles, and whispers something in Chandler's ear. Chandler gets a grin on his face, and nods at Annette. Joey stands up.
Joey: I can't take it! Okay, you win, Annette! You win! I surrender!
Annette walks over and pulls out a piece of paper from her pocket.
Annette: Can I get that in writing?
Joey stares at her. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is sitting on the couch, watching TV. Enter Rachel.
Rachel: Hi.
Ross: Hey.
Ross gets up, walks over and kisses Rachel.
Ross: How was work?
Rachel: An absolute drag. I kept having to fight the urge to leave early, so I could come home to see you and Emma. How was your day?
Ross: It was all right. Made arrangements with the museum for one of my classes, and talked to them about possibly going back there part time. Other than that, it's been pretty quiet. Emma's down for a nap, Joey and Annette are off at work, so that means we've got time to ourselves.
Rachel smiles, and wraps her arms around his neck, as Ross wraps his arms around her waist.
Rachel: How do you propose we use that time, then?
Ross pretends to think about that.
Ross: Hmm...how about you, me, a movie, and lots of cuddling?
Ross leans in to kiss Rachel, but breaks off when the door opens. Enter Annette, with a tiara on her head.
Annette: Hey, guys. I just thought you might wanna hear the news from the source: Joey surrendered to me in the prank war.
Rachel: What's with the tiara?
Annette: Oh, that's to show off that I'm the queen. Look, I even got his surrender in writing.
Annette hands over the paper. Ross and Rachel look at it.
Ross: Annette, that's an order for three blueberry muffins from the coffee shop, and the word "GOTCHA!" written in capital letters.
Annette: What?
Annette takes back the paper, and sees that Ross is right. She whirls around and leaves the apartment.
Annette: JOEY!
Credits appear on screen.
CREDITS SCENE:
Scene opens in Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting in the armchair. Enter Joey.
Joey: Hey, have you guys seen Annette?
Chandler: No. Why do you wanna know?
Joey: Because I don't wanna be looking over my shoulder right now. I rented The Terminator tonight, figured I'd ask if she wanted to bury the hatchet and watch it with me.
Ross: She went out with Phoebe and Mike tonight.
Joey: Thank God.
Joey sits down next to Chandler on the couch. A loud farting noise is heard. Joey reaches underneath the cushion, and pulls out a Whoopee cushion.
Chandler: But that doesn't mean pranking you isn't fun for me.