Scene opens in Central Perk. Ross and Rachel are sitting in the armchair. Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are sitting on the couch. Joey and Mike sitting in the chairs at the end table. Annette is standing behind the couch.
Chandler: Did you guys hear about the new expansion for World of Warcraft?
Joey: Yeah, isn't that the thing that Monica was yelling at you about the other day? Something about you spending more time with that game than her?
Chandler (sarcastically): No, that was Hello Kitty that I was playing last week.
Joey looks over to Monica, confused.
Joey: You did?
Monica: No, Joey. Sarcasm.
Chandler: You guys should try it out. It's pretty good.
Ross: I don't know, Chandler. Aren't those games rather addictive?
Chandler: For some people. But I thought Rachel might enjoy it, because the professions stuff you can do in it. Kinda like fashion.
Rachel's head perks up.
Rachel: Fashion? What do you mean by fashion?
Chandler: Well, one of the professions is that you can make clothes-
Rachel: Give me all the info on this game! We'll meet you in there tonight.
Ross: "We"? Rach, you know those kind of games are really addi-
Rachel clamps a hand over Ross's mouth.
Rachel: Seven sound good?
Ross looks over an Chandler with an annoyed look in his eyes. Theme song and title sequence plays.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the table, the laptop computer open in front of her. Chandler is standing next to her, walking her through the loading screen for World of Warcraft. Ross is sitting on the couch, watching TV.
Chandler: Okay, so the first thing you're gonna want to do is pick your side. I play mainly on the Alliance side, which is these guys in the blue area.
Rachel mouses over a female Night Elf.
Rachel: Oh, she's pretty! I love her gown. I'm playing her.
Chandler looks at her class selection.
Chandler: Okay, so you're a female Night Elf Priest. What's your name?
Rachel looks at him.
Rachel: You've known me for eleven years, and you NOW ask me that?
Ross: I think he meant your character's name, honey.
Rachel (defensively): I knew that!
Rachel thinks for a moment, then types in "Arabella". The game loads in a clearing surrounded by trees and different creatures. A Night Elf stands nearby with a yellow ! above his head.
Chandler: Okay, now run over to that guy, and click on him.
Rachel: Why, what does he do?
Chandler (sarcastically): He gives you sugar cubes to tame a pony named Sprinkles.
Rachel's toon runs over to the Night Elf.
Rachel: You liar! He gave me a bunch of writing!
Chandler: That's a quest. You need to do it.
Rachel: Why? What happens?
Chandler: You gain XP, money, and can level up.
Rachel: Oh. Okay.
Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Mike are sitting on the couch. Ross and Rachel are sharing the armchair. Chandler, Joey and Annette are sitting on the chairs at the end table.
Rachel: You guys should play this game! It's amazing! I was up until about one in the morning playing!
Ross: No kidding. You woke me up when you came to bed.
Rachel: I made it up to you, didn't I?
Joey: I'll say you did. It woke us up.
Ross: Well, getting a finger in the eye hurts.
Rachel: I told you to hold still!
Annette: I'm surprised you didn't wake up Emma.
A pause.
Ross: Yeah, she slept through it.
Monica: She did?
Rachel: Yes!
Annette: So why did I hear Baby Got Back coming from your apartment last night at two in the morning?
Ross and Rachel share an embarrassed glance.
Rachel: Anyway, Chandler and I are going to Wailing Caverns tonight. Who's coming with us?
Ross: Yeah, see, I have papers to grade-
Rachel: You're going.
Chandler: Rachel, you do know that's a five-man dungeon, right?
Rachel: Is it? Crap! Okay, so there's you, me, Ross...
Ross: Why am I going?
Rachel: Because I said so. And because you love me.
Annette: You still need two more people, Rach.
Rachel: Well, you and Joey can join us.
Joey: We don't have computers.
Annette: Yet. Come on, Joey, we need to go shopping!
Annette grabs Joey's hand and drags him out the door.
Monica: Why didn't you ask me to join you?
Chandler: Because you hate that game. Remember the other day, when you called it "an incredible waste of time and money"?
Monica throws a muffin at him.
Monica: You still could've asked me!
Chandler: Okay, do you wanna play?
Monica: No. But I'm glad you asked.
Ross: Wait a minute. I don't have an account, or a toon.
Rachel: Yes, you do. I made you an account last night, got you a Hunter, and leveled you up to us, so you can play. You're welcome.
Ross looks at her with an exasperated look on his face, and turns to Monica.
Ross: If I'm getting dragged into this, so are you.
Phoebe turn to Mike.
Phoebe: Mike...
Mike: Don't even say it, we're going computer shopping, too.
Mike and Phoebe leave.
Rachel: Yay, we'll all be in the game together! And since Chandler made that mage for Monica last night, we can all go soon!
Monica: He WHAT?
Chandler: Oh, look at the time! I gotta go!
Chandler stands up to run out the door. Monica grabs his arm and yanks him back into his chair.
Monica: You dragged me into that game without even asking me?
Chandler: I asked you last night, while you were vacuuming the carpets!
Monica: I wasn't paying attention! You know you could have asked me if you could let a Saint Bernard track mud across the kitchen, and I would've said yes!
Chandler: But you still agreed!
Monica: Chandler!
Rachel: Come on, Monica, it'll be fun! Ross is going to play.
Monica: Only because you're forcing him to.
Rachel: Putting that aside, he's still playing. So come on, join us.
Monica sighs.
Monica: Fine. But if I don't like it, I'm not playing again.
Chandler: Deal.
Monica: AND you're clean-you're watching the twins all weekend.
Chandler: Why?
Monica: Because I said so.
Chandler glares at Monica. Scene ends and opens in a computer store. Phoebe and Mike are browsing the computers. Annette and Joey walk up to them.
Annette: Hey, guys! What're you doing here?
Phoebe: Oh, just shopping for a computer. We decided we needed one for our apartment.
A pause.
Annette: Warcraft?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Joey looks over at Mike.
Joey: Did you decide to come, or did she drag you here?
Mike: We're married! And a marriage is all about mutual cooperation.
Joey: So she dragged you here?
Mike: Pretty much.
Phoebe: What are you two doing over here, though?
Annette: We just got a notebook and came over to look into a tower. We just didn't know you'd be here.
Mike: Annette, how are you paying for all of this, anyway?
Joey: Well, the notebook was my idea. I always wanted one of those. Chandler kept bragging about how good it is.
Annette: And since I want a tower, we came over here to look at them. I didn't know you two were looking at computers, though.
Mike: Me either, till Phoebe dragged me here. But Annette, you didn't answer my original question: how are you paying for all of this?
Annette: Sugar daddy.
Annette bats her eyelashes at Joey. Mike tenses up.
Mike: WHAT?
Annette laughs.
Annette: Easy, Mike. I was kidding. I have some money from when I was in Chicago still saved. I can afford a computer.
Mike relaxes.
Mike: Well, we go ours picked out. What else do we need?
Annette: Copies of the game. Why don't you two get them?
Mike turns to Joey.
Mike: Feeling like you're married?
Joey: Yeah, with none of the benefits.
Mike grins, as they walk off. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table. Ross and Chandler are sitting on the couch.
Chandler: Rachel, when did you wanna head into the Wailing Caverns?
Rachel: As soon as Joey and Annette get home. We still need another DPS for that place.
Monica: Uh, Chandler, did you forget we only have one computer at our house? I can't play with you guys.
Chandler: Yes, you can. I got a notebook computer for you, as well.
Monica: How? We don't have any spare money!
Chandler: Well, you remember the college funds we set up for Jack and Erica?
Monica glowers at him.
Chandler: I'm kidding, it was put on a credit card. Either way, you have one now.
Monica: And you're going to have to wait an hour or so to play, both computers are at home.
Chandler: Not true! Rachel?
Rachel stands up and walks into her bedroom. She comes out a minute later with Chandler's computer bag. Chandler opens it and takes out two computers.
Rachel: We stashed them here earlier, so we could have a small party here tonight.
Monica: YOU'RE gonna host a party?
Rachel brings out a bowl of chips and a two liter of soda.
Ross: You two planned this out, didn't you?
Rachel: No! What makes you think that?
Ross: Where's Emma?
Rachel: At my mom's for the night. Gives us all some quality time together.
Monica turns to Chandler.
Monica: You left Jack and Erica with my parents, didn't you?
Chandler: Well, they said they wanna spend more time with the grandkids...
Monica opens her mouth, but is interrupted by the door opening. Enter Annette and Joey.
Annette: Hey. We got our computers and our accounts set up. Which one of us do you want?
Chandler: Well, we need another DPS.
Annette: Oh. I rolled a Druid, and Joey rolled a Death Knight. Even though I TOLD him a Death Knight was too high to go to there...
Joey: What? He's a 58, I can go in that place!
Chandler: He's too high to go with us, Joe. And since when did you have a toon that was high enough to allow you to make a Death Knight?
Joey looks uncomfortably at Chandler.
Joey: I, uh, used to dabble back in the game's early release.
Chandler: YOU played World of Warcraft?
Joey: It was for this girl I was dating at the time.
Chandler: So why didn't you just make a new toon to go with us?
Joey: I thought Annette was going with you guys. So I figured I'd take Phoebe and Mike in there.
Chandler turns to Rachel.
Chandler: You know, that's a really brilliant idea, even for Joey.
Rachel: I know! Why didn't we think of that?
Annette: I'll meet you guys in there, I have to go back to our place.
Rachel: Why?
Annette: Because my tower is over there.
Joey: Well, if you want, you can use my computer. I'll use yours to take Mike and Phoebe in tonight.
Annette: Thanks, Joey!
Annette hugs Joey tightly, as Mike and Phoebe walk in.
Mike: Whoa! Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your quality time.
Annette hastily pulls back.
Annette: Sorry. I'm gonna go get your computer, Joey.
Phoebe: I'll go with you.
Phoebe follows Annette out the door, to her and Joey's apartment.
Phoebe: You are so smitten.
Annette: What? Oh, I am not!
Phoebe: Oh, whatever. You are SO the smitten kitten. It's so obvious.
Annette: I am not! And even if I was, Joey doesn't like me that way.
Phoebe: Yes, he does. It's obvious to everyone that you two are smitten with one another.
Annette: Phoebe, I've been living with him for a month! That's not even close to enough time to know if you love someone or not. Besides, if you wanna see love, look at Ross and Rachel.
Phoebe: Don't compare yourself to them, those two are lobsters.
Annette stares at Phoebe.
Annette: Lobsters?
Phoebe: Yeah. It's a known fact that-
Annette holds up her hand to stop Phoebe.
Annette: Don't. If you start explaining it, I won't remember.
Phoebe: Either way, those two are meant for one another. Don't compare you and Joey to them. But you two are smitten with one another.
Annette: If that's true, then how come Joey hasn't made a move on me yet?
Phoebe: Because Mike's concerned about you. Joey doesn't have the best history with women, so we had Chandler see how serious he is about you. I guess the threat of Mike or me going after him with a bat has made it so he doesn't wanna take a chance.
Annette laughs.
Annette: He'd have to worry more about me than either one of you. But we can talk about Joey and me later, I have to go back over and help those guys with their dungeon. Joey said he'd take you and Mike, if you wanna go.
Phoebe: How? I thought you and Joey just got started.
Annette: Yeah, against my better advice, Joey rolled a Death Knight.
Phoebe: Don't they start out at level fifty-five?
Annette: Fifty-eight, when you finish the starting quests for them. He said he rolled it to help you two out tonight, since we're gonna be busy.
Phoebe: Wow, that's pretty deep thinking, even for Joey.
Annette: You know, that's exactly what Chandler and Rachel said.
Phoebe laughs, as they walk out. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk the next day. Chandler, Monica, and Annette are sitting on the couch. Ross and Rachel are sharing the armchair.
Chandler: I swear to God, if I EVER find out who was playing that Rogue last night, I am gonna break their fingers!
Annette: I couldn't believe it. Five of us, and they STILL managed to beat us all down!
Monica: Well, it didn't help that Ross was spending half his time healing his pet.
Ross: Hey, I'm Beast Master specced. Half my DPS comes from my pet! It dies, I lose a lot of DPS. And I didn't see you doing much, besides showering us all in a blizzard.
Monica: It's an AoE attack, it was SUPPOSED to deal damage no matter where they ran off to!
Rachel: Why was everyone dying so fast, anyway?
Chandler: They had their daggers coated in poison. Sapped our health.
Annette: Well, I'm respeccing Resto tonight. NO ONE kills me, then does the Chicken Dance on my body!
Rachel: So when are we all going to go back in and kill them?
Ross: Why am I being forced into this?
Monica: You CANNOT tell me you're not mad at that person for killing you three times in a row, and then laughing about it!
Ross thinks on that.
Ross: Let's go get them right now.
Numerous agreements are heard, as everyone gets up and leaves. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Night has fallen. Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Annette are sitting at the table. Rachel is heard from Emma's room, singing Baby Got Back.
Monica: They beat us again! How many times does that make it now?
Annette: I don't wanna think about counting that high. Because if I do, I'll throw my computer out the window.
Ross: Two healers, me and Monica on them, and they STILL beat us all! They have to be cheating somehow.
Chandler: I'll tell you one thing. This isn't over, not by a long shot. One way or another, that Rogue is going down.
Rachel enters from Emma's bedroom.
Rachel: Well, I just got Emma to sleep, so we should be able to do whatever we want for the rest of the night.
Chandler: We were talking about that Rogue.
Rachel: Don't even get me started on that.
Annette: Okay, I know this is a weird question to be asking, but WHY were you singing Baby Got Back to her?
Ross and Rachel share an embarrassed look.
Rachel: Well, shortly after she was born, Ross was singing that to her one night, when she was being fussy. He discovered that it made her laugh, and we use it now as a lullaby to get her to go to sleep.
Annette: So you DID wake her up last night!
Ross: I didn't.
Rachel: You were the one screaming.
Ross: You poked me in the eye!
Rachel: I told you to hold still, didn't I?
Ross starts to reply, when the door opens. Enter Phoebe and Mike.
Phoebe: Hey.
Ross: Hey, guys.
Mike: Have you guys been having trouble with a Rogue killing you near the Wailing Caverns entrance?
Chandler: They got you too, huh?
Phoebe: Yeah. The only one they haven't gotten, as far as I know, is Joey.
Annette: That's because Joey's running around on a level fifty-eight toon! He's untouchable.
Mike: Well, we went over last night, because Joey didn't log on.
Annette: Oh, he was off at a cast party for Days of Our Lives. I was supposed to tell you, but we got caught up fighting that Rogue. Sorry.
Mike: Yeah, we ran into them while we were looking for the entrance. They fight dirty.
Phoebe: Who are they?
Monica: We don't know. But whoever they are, they got us six times last night. It was bad.
Enter Joey.
Joey: Hey.
Phoebe turns around and hits Joey.
Joey: OW! What was that for?
Phoebe: Because we got killed last night waiting for you! Why didn't you tell us you had a cast party?
Joey: Annette was supposed to tell you!
Annette: Yeah, I forgot to.
Joey: Well, thanks for that.
Annette: I'm sorry, but I was getting killed and mocked by a Rogue. That kinda took priority.
Phoebe: She's got a point, Joe.
Joey nods in agreement, as Annette stands up.
Annette: I'm gonna go home, get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow. But as soon as I get off, it is game on with that sucker! SOMEHOW, they're going down.
Joey: Yeah, I'll go with you.
Annette and Joey leave and enter their apartment. A loud crunching noise is heard under Annette's foot. She screams.
Annette: WHAT DID I JUST STEP ON?
Joey looks down, and gets upset.
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll!
Annette: Well, I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for Chinese food on the floor! I thought it was one of the birds!
Joey: Just put it on a plate, and go.
Annette: Why is there even Chinese food on the floor to begin with?
Joey: It fell off my plate earlier when I was getting a beer.
Annette: Wait a minute. If that was an egg roll I stepped on, where are Chick and Duck Jr. at?
A quacking noise is heard from Annette's room. She walks over, and opens the door. Chick and Duck Jr. wander out. Joey picks up Duck Jr., as Annette picks up Chick Jr.
Annette: Hey Joey, do you ever get the feeling we're a family?
Joey: What do you mean?
Annette: You, me, and the birds. It's like we're the parents, and they're the kids.
Joey: You know something? You're right. We're not even dating, but we ARE a family. And I don't think I'd trade it for anything.
Joey and Annette smile at each other, as the birds chirp in their hands. Credits roll.
CREDITS SCENE:
Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's living room. Chandler is sitting on the couch, with only the glow of the computer monitor lighting up the room.
Chandler: All right, you damn Rogue, let's see how well you do now!
Scene shifts to the outside of Monica and Chandler's house. Chandler is heard screaming.
Chandler: WHO ARE YOU?
Scene shifts to the monitor of the Rogue beating up the gang. Long, red fingernails are tapping on the keys. Camera pulls back to reveal the back of a woman's head. A familiar, annoying laugh is heard.
(A/N Ten pts if you can guess who that is. :P Sorry if this episode feels off to you, readers. I have a school project worth 25-30% of my grade due today, & I pulled this unfinished one off the back burner to do. If you play any MMOs, feel free to say Hi. I'm on WoW (Lightbringer), DCUO (Brave New World, both sides, New Frontier, hero side), & STO. I'll have a fresh one for next week, provided the finals aren't then.)