(This is the St. Patty's Day episode, since I finished 14 on that day. Sorry for the delay.)

Scene opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Rachel, Ben, and Emma are sitting at the table, eating dinner. Enter Joey and Annette.

Joey: I'm telling you, it was leprechauns! They're all over the place!

Annette: Joey, there is no such thing as a leprechaun!

Joey: Then how do you explain the gold coin I found on top of that note?

Annette: It was a chocolate coin wrapped in gold foil! I'm surprised you didn't try to spend it at the arcade!

Rachel: What are you two going on about?

Annette: Joey came home to find the apartment trashed, and a note saying a leprechaun named Seamus O'Grady did it.

Ben and Ross duck their heads and snicker. Rachel glances at them with a raised eyebrow, before turning back to Joey.

Rachel: And you came over here because…?

Joey: I wanted to see if anyone else got hit by O'Grady, before I start setting traps for him.

Ben: Actually, my classroom was invaded by a leprechaun the other day. He trashed everything in sight.

Joey gasps, and backs up toward the door.

Joey: Oh my god, they spread! I gotta warn the others!

Joey runs out the door. Theme song and title sequence plays.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year.

But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.

Scene opens in Central Perk. Phoebe and Annette are sitting on the couch. Monica is sitting in the armchair. Rachel is sitting in the chair at the end table.

Rachel: So how much panicking was Joey doing last night?

Annette: He started setting mouse traps around the apartment, baited with bits of gold foil.

Monica: Wait, what happened?

Rachel: Ben and Ross went over to their place last night before Joey and Annette got home, and trashed it.

Monica: Why would they do that?

Annette: Because Ben told me about the leprechaun trick his teacher's pulling on the class at school, and I asked them to trash the apartment before leaving a note saying it was done by Seamus O'Grady.

Monica: Why would you do that?

Annette: It's fun.

Phoebe: Is there any trick you WON'T pull on Joey?

Annette grins.

Annette: Nope.

Phoebe giggles. Enter Joey, dressed as a leprechaun. Rachel, Annette, Phoebe, and Monica start laughing.

Rachel: Joey, honey. What is THAT?

Joey: Ssssshhhhhhh, keep it down! You'll give away my identity.

The girls stare at each other, and then back to Joey.

Monica: What are you talking about?

Joey: I'm disguising myself to hunt down O'Grady. As far as the leprechauns are concerned, I'm Lucky the Leprechaun, one of their own.

Annette: Joey, you're about six feet tall, Italian, and you have a New York accent. A leprechaun is six INCHES tall, Irish, and speaks with an Irish accent.

Rachel: I don't know. Did you ever see that movie Leprechaun? He was about two or three feet tall.

Monica: Rachel, that was an actor.

Rachel (defensively): I know that.

Joey: I'm gonna go see if my traps caught anything. I'll see you later.

Joey starts to exit, as Chandler and Ross enter. Chandler points to Joey.

Chandler: Why look, Ross. It's one of the rare Italian leprechauns. I-I've heard stories of these, but I didn't think they existed. Do you suppose it still has any gold left for us?

Joey glares at Chandler.

Ross: Joey, what the hell are you doing?

Joey: Hey, hey, hey! Keep it down, will ya? You'll give away my disguise.

Chandler: Yes, and I'm sure the fact that you'll stand out in a room full of tiny people will have nothing to do with that.

Joey: Very funny. But you'll be laughing out the other side of your face when I catch that O'Grady leprechaun.

Joey exits. Annette turns to Phoebe.

Annette: And with openings like that, you DON'T expect me to have some fun?

Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey is standing by the counter in his costume, checking a leprechaun "trap". Enter Annette, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel.

Annette: Hey, Lucky. I'm home.

Joey: Hey.

Chandler: Have any luck catching your brethren yet?

Joey: No. A couple of them got sprung, because the bait's missing, but they musta got loose.

Ross snickers, as Rachel elbows him.

Annette: Well, we're about to order a pizza, then go over to Ross and Rachel's place. Can we borrow a few coins from your pot 'o gold to pay for it?

Joey glares at Annette.

Ross: Actually, can you come over dressed like that? Ben wants some pictures to show his classmates of the Italian leprechaun, for his show and tell. He wants to show photos of the leprechaun trashing the building, but since you haven't been able to actually catch O'Grady...well, you're the next best thing.

Joey: Mock me all you want…

Annette: Oh, trust me. We will.

Ross, Chandler, and Rachel snicker. Rachel clears her throat.

Rachel: Joey, you wouldn't happen to have a box of Lucky Charms, would you?

Joey: Yeah, there's some on top of the fridge.

Joey hands the box of cereal to Rachel.

Ross: What do you want with that?

Rachel: Well, I just got Joey's Lucky Charms. Now the kids and I can see if they really are magically delicious.

Annette laughs, and high-fives Rachel. Joey glares at Rachel, and takes back the box of cereal.

Joey: Get your own Lucky Charms. This is my box.

Annette, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross laugh. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Monica, Annette, and Phoebe are sitting at the table. Ross, Chandler, and Mike are sitting on the couch. Enter Joey, dressed in normal clothes.

Joey: Hey.

Annette looks over.

Annette: Where's your costume, Lucky?

Joey: Who?

Annette looks at Rachel, and back to Joey.

Annette: Trying to fool the leprechauns, are we?

Joey: If I'm not in my disguise, they won't know it's me. Unless you guys say something.

Annette makes the lock and key gesture on her lips.

Annette: I won't say a word, I promise.

Monica: Not a peep.

Phoebe: I'm not telling anyone.

Rachel: My lips are sealed.

Joey looks over at Ross, Chandler, and Mike.

Ross: I'm not gonna say anything.

Mike: Me either.

Joey: Chandler?

Chandler: Well, as much fun as I'd have laughing at you in that getup in public, I won't say a word.

Joey: Thanks.

Joey turns to Annette.

Joey: Pizza get here yet?

Annette: Yes, Joey. My psychic powers are telling me it JUST arrived.

The intercom buzzes. Rachel walks over, and presses the speaker button.

Rachel: Hello?

Intercom: Pizza delivery.

Rachel: Come on up.

Joey gasps, and points at Annette.

Joey: How did you do that?

Annette smiles, and drinks her coffee.

Annette: Trade secret.

Joey opens his mouth to reply, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Rachel turns to Ross.

Rachel: Honey, where's the money for the pizza guy?

Ross: Should be on the counter.

Rachel takes the money from the counter, and turns to Annette.

Rachel: Can you give me a hand?

Annette: Sure.

Rachel and Annette exit, and come in a few minutes later with several pizza boxes. Joey stares.

Joey: How much did you order?

Rachel: Enough that Ross and I don't have to worry about you raiding our fridge.

Joey smiles, and opens the box to see a slice missing, a gold "coin" left in its spot. Joey gasps.

Annette: What?

Joey: They got to the pizza!

Rachel and Annette open the other boxes, to see the same scene. Joey runs for the door.

Joey: I'll get some traps to line the hallway with!

Joey runs out the door. Rachel and Annette burst into giggles.

Monica: How long do you plan to keep this up for?

Annette: Probably till he comes up with some new stunt we can tease him over.

Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. The gang is sitting around, watching a movie and eating pizza. A knock is heard on the door. Rachel turns to Ross, with a confused look.

Rachel: Were you expecting company?

Ross: No.

Ross gets up, and opens the door. Treeger is standing in the doorway.

Treeger: Hey, Geller. Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

Ross: No, just watching a movie. What's up?

Treeger: You wouldn't happen to know why Tribbiani's lining the building with cardboard boxes, would you?

Ross stares at Treeger for a few seconds.

Ross: Beg pardon?

Treeger: He's putting down cardboard boxes, with bits of gold foil on the edge.

Ross: Oh, no…those are leprechaun traps. He thinks the building's been overrun by them.

Treeger: …leprechauns?

Ross nods.

Treeger: Where did he get a crazy idea like that at?

Rachel clears her throat, while Annette stares intently at her pizza slice. Ross glares at them.

Ross (sarcastically): I have no idea. Annette, Rachel, would either one of you know?

Rachel: Nope, no idea.

Annette: Haven't a clue.

Treeger: Well, I'm gonna see if I can get him to stop putting down these traps of his, before someone gets hurt. And then I need to clean up that mess down in the lobby.

Monica looks up at Treeger.

Monica: What mess?

Treeger: Someone spilled their beer all over the floor. It's a real mess down there.

Monica: A mess you say? Downstairs? I call it. MINE!

Rachel knocks over her coffee cup, spilling coffee all over the floor.

Rachel: Oops! Look at that! Mon, would you be a dear?

Monica glares at Rachel.

Monica: You are so dead when I finish cleaning this up!

Monica gets up and grabs paper towels.

Treeger: Oh, I should mention: it's a Buy One, Get One Free special.

Chandler jumps up, and runs out the door to the stairwell.

Chandler: Joey! Free beer!

A thumping is heard above their heads. Joey appears on the stairs.

Joey: Where?

Chandler: Outside!

Joey and Chandler run down the stairs. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Mike and Joey are sitting in the living room, holding a plastic glass full of green beer. Rachel, Phoebe, Monica and Annette are standing behind them.

Phoebe: I can't believe you two went down for beer.

Mike: Honey, it was a Buy One, Get One Free special. Pretty good offer.

Joey: Besides, we're men. How could we say no to that?

Annette: By opening your mouth and saying "no".

Joey glares at her. Enter Ross and Chandler, holding one of Joey's leprechaun traps.

Ross: Hey.

Rachel: Hey. Where did you guys get off to?

Ross: We were checking Joey's traps on the other floors.

Joey: Did they catch anything?

Chandler: Why, yes, Joey. You caught Seamus's brother, Lucky O'Grady.

Chandler holds up the box in his hands. Rachel and Annette gasp.

Joey: I did? Lemme see, lemme see!

Chandler opens the box, and pulls out a cutout of Lucky the Leprechaun. Rachel, Annette, Phoebe, Monica, and Mike laugh. Joey glares at Chandler.

Joey: Ha ha, very funny. But you'll all be laughing out the other sides of your faces when I put a stop to this.

Joey exits. Monica turns to Chandler.

Monica: You cut up a box of Lucky Charms just for that?

Chandler: Yes, but it was empty. We dug around in the dumpster for one.

Rachel and Monica: You WHAT?

Ross: Uh…

Chandler: Hey Joey, wait for us!

Ross and Chandler run out the door. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the couch. Monica is sitting in the armchair. Annette is sitting in the chair at the end table.

Rachel: So how did Joey take the Lucky joke?

Annette: Better than I expected. He thinks that Seamus sprang the trap, and stuck the Lucky cutout in there as a way to thumb his nose at him.

Rachel: Maybe we should tell him it was us.

Annette: No! I'm having way too much fun with this!

Rachel giggles. Enter Ross and Chandler, wearing green top hats. Monica and Rachel start laughing.

Annette: Oh my god…what are you two wearing?

Ross: Joey found out we weren't wearing green, so he started trying to pinch us.

Chandler: Because apparently, green pee from drinking green beer didn't count.

Ross turns to Rachel.

Ross: We got a hat for you and Monica, too.

Rachel: What makes you think we wanna wear those?

Ross: Because it was this, green hair dye, or Joey pinches you.

Rachel and Monica look at each other, then to Ross and Chandler.

Rachel and Monica: Hat.

Chandler holds his hat out to Monica, and Ross places his on Rachel's head.

Annette: Hey, what about me?

Chandler: Oh, we didn't forget about you.

Chandler hands Annette a headband with two shamrocks attached to springs. Annette glares at Chandler.

Annette: You want me to hit you, don't you? Why didn't you give this to Monica or Rachel?

Chandler points to Monica.

Chandler: I'm married to her.

Annette looks at Ross.

Annette: What's your excuse?

Ross: Sister and girlfriend.

Annette: You're excused. (to Chandler) You're not.

Chandler: What? My brother-in-law gets excused, and I don't?

Annette: He has to face it from both sides.

Chandler: I have to face it from MONICA.

A pause.

Annette: Point made.

Chandler grins, as Joey enters. Monica, Rachel, and Annette immediately don their headgear.

Joey: Hey, guys. What're you-

Joey pauses, seeing their hats.

Joey: All right, all right. You guys are safe from being pinched. But Mike and Phoebe aren't.

Chandler: Oh, we beg to differ.

Joey: Why are you begging? Are you broke?

Chandler looks at the gang, then to Joey.

Chandler: Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip when there's RESISTANCE!

Joey glares at Chandler.

Annette: Joey, he means that he disagrees with you.

Joey: Oh. Why didn't you say that in the first place?

Chandler stares at Joey.

Chandler: Your parents dropped you on your head as a baby, didn't they?

Enter Phoebe, hair dyed a bright green. The gang stares at her in disbelief.

Annette: Oh my god! Phoebe, what did you DO?

Phoebe: Oh, um, you like it? It's my anti-pinching color.

Joey: Phoebe, I wasn't gonna pinch you!

Phoebe: Oh, I know. But that wasn't gonna stop Mike from doing it.

Rachel: Honey, how long is that color gonna be in for?

Phoebe: It's a 24 hour color. It'll be gone by tomorrow.

Monica: You hope.

Phoebe: No, I know it will. The box said so.

Ross: Phoebe, boxes have been known to lie before.

Phoebe gasps, and hits Ross.

Phoebe: You say you're sorry! No upsetting the boxes!

Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Phoebe: The boxes forgive you.

Phoebe exits. Joey turns to the group.

Joey: I better go. Still gotta check the traps before the day's over, and get to the convention.

Chandler and Ross look at each other, then at Joey.

Chandler: You want this, or me?

Ross: No, I got it. (to Joey) Uh, Joey, about the leprechauns…

Joey: Yeah?

Annette smacks Ross, and discretely places a finger on her lips.

Ross: Good luck, man.

Joey: Thanks. But those little bastards are the ones who are gonna need luck, if I get my hands on them.

Joey exits. Chandler turns to Annette.

Chandler: How do you put up with that?

Annette: He's better than prime-time television.

Credits roll.

CREDITS SCENE

Scene opens in a convention. Joey is standing in a room in his costume, with a bunch of leprechauns. A banner on the wall in the back reads "Welcome Leprechauns".

Joey: So you all have this annual get-together every year?

Leprechaun 1: Yep. Our leader started this a while back, shortly after we arrived here.

Leprechaun 2: Although we've never seen one as tall as you are.

Joey: Oh. I'm a…uh…Italian one.

Both leprechauns nod.

Leprechaun 1: Heard of them.

Joey: So, I'm looking for O'Grady. Have you seen him?

Leprechaun 2: Seamus or Teddy?

Joey: Seamus. He trashed my apartment.

Leprechaun 2: Sure. He's you.

Joey starts screaming, and then sits up in bed.

Joey: Oh good, it was just a dream.

Joey looks over at his dresser, to see a note sitting there. He gets up, walks over, and unfolds it to see "Better luck next year, sucker!" written on it. Joey clenches the note in his fist.

Joey: Next year, O'Grady. Next year.

(A/N Sorry if this is off, I found it really hard to write an episode about a holiday I could give a crap less about. Also, one of my friends was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, been helping them. Nine more episodes to the finale, so get those votes in, if you haven't done so yet!)