We entered together holding hands, the teacher made me a weird sign which I guess meant welcome, so I just waved my hand, I didn't know what else to do. I took a seat and troy sat next to me, I learned a few signs, at first I felt a bit awkward, but then I felt comfortable, I smiled, I laughed, I actually had fun, those people couldn't speak and they were okay with it, they embraced it and acted upon it, and that inspired me! Then the teacher taught us a sign.. how to say I love you, I looked at troy, and then I showed him that sign.. 'I love you' he smiled at me and then gave me a tender kiss on my cheek. Everytime troy came near me I couldn't help but smile, I was always floating around him, it is like with him I could soar, like I had wings, a feeling I just can't put in words!
Two hours later the lesson was over, troy was walking me home, a couple of times I caught him staring at me, I wanted to know why, the third time I looked at him and laughed! He said 'sorry, I can't help myself, seeing you there.. I didn't know you were that beautiful!' I smiled at him and rested my head on his shoulder. While we were walking I saw monica, it has been a long time since I last saw her! So I kissed her and we hugged, it was nice, then she said 'how have you been?' I nodded with a smile, she said 'still not talking huh?' I didn't know how to respond to that, I just looked at the floor. She said 'gabriella I didn't mean it that way! I am sorry!' I forced a smile and looked at her, she was feeling guilty, I could tell, then she hugged me again and said 'I will go now, see you soon?' I smiled and then she waved at troy goodbye and left. As we continued our walk home troy said 'are you mad at her for what she said?' I looked at him then at the floor and nodded in refuse, but troy knew me too well to believe that, I was clearly hurt. Then he put a finger on my face, his touch was so tender, so soft, then he kissed me. It wasn't the first kiss, but it was magical! I have never felt this way before!
When we got to my house troy kissed me and said that he had to go and that he would see me tomorrow, I nodded and smiled at him and watched him walk away. Then I entered my house, my mother was right infront of me and said 'hey!' I laughed and waved with my hand, she said 'somebody is happy, what happened?' I smiled at her and went to my room, as expected, she followed! She kept saying 'I won't go until you tell me everything! What happened?' I kept resisting, but then I took a paper and wrote ' I am in love..' she looked at me with a kind smile on her face and said 'oh baby girl.. and him?' I smiled and wrote 'I think so..' she hugged me so tight and said 'I am so happy for you! He is a very good guy..' I wrote 'I know..' then she kissed me on the cheek and smiled and left my room.
That night when I went to sleep I had a dream, an un expected dream, but I woke up smiling and crying at the same time. I woke up at 6 am and washed my face and got dressed then I left. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going, I was just going, I kept thinking about the past few months, about all what had happened, my phone was ringing, but I wasn't going to answer it, I mean it was useless anyway, it wasn't like I would say anything. But then while I was walking, wondering in my own world, I heard someone's foot steps behind me, and then I found troy infront of me sweating and hardly taking his breath and he said 'gabriella! Oh my God I was so worried! What happened to you? I went to your house and your mum didn't know where you went! She is worried! Why are you doing this?' I couldn't answer him! I just threw myself to his arms and cried my eyes out. He kept saying 'what happened? Gabby come on! Tell me hunnie.. what happened?' at the time I was crying too hard to even breathe , then after crying for a while, I was pulling myself together, and troy was still holding me. We sat on the floor next to a huge tree, and troy was holding my hand and said 'gabby, tell me...' I took a paper out of my pocket and wrote 'my grandma..' his expressions were shocked, maybe even horrified, maybe he was scared he would lose me again to that world on mine, I wasn't sure, I was still trying to comprehend his expression.. then he said 'what about your grandma?' I wrote 'I dreamt about her.. she was like an angel.. she was highlighted by a shining light.. she was glowing troy.. but then she said 'why are you doing this?' and then I woke up' troy hugged me so tight then and said 'everything is going to be okay..' I was very confused at the time, and broken hearted maybe? I wasn't even sure how I felt.. but troy on the other hand was sure of one thing.. that she was talking about what I was doing to myself, and he told me so. He said ' I think she means the way you are burying yourself in your grief, the way you just shut yourself up, the way you are wasting your voice.. I think so gabriella' I was shocked by what he was saying! So I stood up and stared at him with tears in my eyes then I turned around and left. He stood up and chased me saying ' gabriella face it! You are ruining your own life! If we can call it a life at the first place!' when I heard him saying so something inside me broke, I stopped walking, looked at him and pushed him away! I kept pushing him away from me, and hitting him, I didn't want him anywhere near me! He tried to calm me down but it was too late, I was letting out every bad thing that has ever happened to me, everything seemed like his fault, I kept pushing him and pushing him until he said 'okay fine! I will go! I am so tired anyway! Of everything gabriella! Of you losing hope, of you giving up on me, of you giving up the fight! I am so tired if you being weak!' then he took a few steps back as if reconsidering what had been said but it was too late, he said it, and I heard it. I got out a paper and wrote 'bye, troy' and turned around and ran home.