Scene opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Annette is sitting on the floor, feeding Chick & Duck Jr. Enter Joey.
Joey: Hey.
Annette: Hey.
Joey: What're you doing?
Annette: I'm feeding the chick & the duck.
Joey: You know that's dangerous, right?
Annette: No Joey, sticking your finger through a hole in their box and wiggling it around is dangerous. It's also a good way of getting bit.
Joey: I saw it done on TV! It worked!
Annette: That was a LOONEY TUNES cartoon!
Joey: Anyway, I have 2 tickets to the Rangers game. Alex doesn't wanna go, Ross is grading papers, Mike's at a gig, and Chandler's building his TARDIS…
Joey looks hopefully at Annette.
Annette: Still no.
Joey: Dammit! Anyway, you wanna go?
Annette: Hockey? I dunno…
Joey: Call it a date.
A pause.
Annette: Put the kids in the box, we're gonna miss the first period!
Joey and Annette put the birds in the box. Annette grabs the box, walks across the hall, and bangs on Ross and Rachel's door. The door opens to reveal Rachel.
Rachel: Annette! Hey. What's up?
Annette: Date with Joey, need you to watch kids, k thanks, bye .
Annette shoves the box in Rachel's hands and runs down the stairs, as Rachel stares. Theme song and title sequence play.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are sitting on the couch. Joey is sitting in the armchair. Ross is sitting in the chair at the end table, Rachel in his lap. Annette is working at the counter.
Rachel: So how was the game?
Joey: It was good. Rangers won, 3-2.
Annette: Ahem.
Joey: No.
Annette: AHEM!
Joey: No! I refuse to accept it! You cheated somehow!
Phoebe: What're you talking about?
Joey: Nothing. Not important.
Annette: I beat him in a hot dog eating contest last night at the game.
The gang gasps.
Ross: You were beaten in a hot dog eating contest?
Joey: She cheated somehow!
Annette: How was I cheating?
Joey: You were shoving them down like you were used to swallowing things like that before!
Annette: Hey, just because I mastered how to suppress my gag reflex doesn't mean I cheated!
Phoebe: EW!
Annette: What?
A pause. Annette gasps.
Annette: NO! That is NOT what I meant! Some of the stuff I've had to eat in my modeling days…it's best not to have a gag reflex.
Chandler: After seeing some of the stuff Joey eats, I think he was born without one.
Ross: So how bad did you lose?
Joey mutters.
Monica: Speak up, we can't hear you.
Joey: 11-35, okay?
Rachel turns to Annette.
Rachel: You ate 35 hot dogs?
Annette: Yep.
Joey: And paid for it this morning, I might add.
Annette: Oh, I did not!
Joey: So the moans and screams of "God, I wanna die right now!" coming from your room were a movie?
Annette: …shut up.
Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Monica is sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting in the chair at the end table. Annette is sitting on the armchair.
Ross: Hey, can you guys distract Rachel for me today?
Annette: No, I have to run soon. I have that audition today for the soap opera Rachel was helping me practice last week.
Monica glares at Annette.
Annette: What?
Monica: That wasn't funny.
Annette: Oh, don't tell me you're still upset about that prank from last week!
Monica: You made us think Ross was cheating on Rachel with you!
Annette: Yeah. That was kind of the point.
Monica: This isn't over, Peters.
Monica turns to Ross.
Monica: Why do you need us to distract Rachel, anyway?
Ross: Mon and Dad are coming into town today.
Monica: Why?
Ross: I asked them to come. Mom's bringing me Grandma's ring.
Monica gasps.
Annette: What's going on?
Monica: Oh my god, Ross! Are you sure about this?
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Where?
Ross: I was thinking here or the planetarium. I'm not too sure which one yet.
Annette: I'm not following.
Monica: Do it here! This place means a lot to you guys.
Annette: HEY!
Ross and Monica look at Annette.
Annette: What's the big deal?
Monica: Ross is having Mom bring down Grandma's engagement ring.
(A/N Yeah, like you didn't see THAT coming…)
Annette: Oh my god, Ross, are you…?
Ross: Yes.
Monica: But if you say one word to Rachel, you'll be dealing with me. You remember the Titty Twister Phoebe gave you last week?
Annette rubs her chest.
Annette: Yes.
Monica: My Indian Burns make that look like a tickle fest.
Annette's eyes widen.
Annette: I'm not gonna say a word.
Monica: You better not.
Annette: Anyway, I need to get to my audition. I'll see you guys later.
Annette leaves. A pause. Enter Annette.
Annette: It might help if I remembered this.
Annette grabs her purse, and leaves again. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the couch, watching TV. Enter Jack and Judy Geller.
Ross: Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
Judy: Hello, darling. How are you?
Ross: I'm good. How are you?
Judy: We're doing fine. Although your father was distracted on the way here…
Jack: That woman had a very nice attitude; I had to compliment her on it! Also, she had a cute tush.
Judy and Ross look at Jack.
Jack: I'm just saying!
Rachel: Hi, Judy.
Judy: Rachel, dear! How are you?
Rachel: I'm doing great. How are you?
Judy: Oh, I'm good. And where is my darling granddaughter?
Ross: Taking a nap right now. She was a little fussy earlier.
Jack: I bet I know what would make her feel better: a visit from the Candy Fairy!
Ross: Dad, I don't think that's such a good idea.
Jack: Nonsense, it worked for your sister.
Ross: The sound of the microwave running worked on Monica!
Jack: And look what a wonderful cook she turned out to be.
Rachel: At least she doesn't do it like Joey.
Judy: How's that, dear?
Ross: Naked.
Enter Monica.
Monica: Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
Judy: Hello, darling!
Jack: There's my little Harmonica!
Judy: Where are my grandkids?
Monica: At home, probably driving Chandler crazy.
Judy: That poor man…you two are so lucky to have each other. Especially after Richard.
Jack: Speaking of Richard…we need to get going, if we're going to meet him at the club. You should see his new squeeze. She's a really pretty woman.
Judy: Jack!
Jack: What? I'm just saying!
Judy: Ross would you be a dear and walk us out, please?
Ross: Sure, Mom.
Ross, Judy, and Jack leave. Rachel turns to Monica.
Rachel: That was weird.
Monica: What was?
Rachel: Your mom. She seemed unusually nice today. Is something going on?
Monica: I don't know.
Rachel: Are you lying to me?
Monica: …no.
Rachel: Monica, what's going on?
Monica: Nothing!
Rachel: Tell me, or I'll put you in another Dirty Headlock!
Monica: I still know how to do those Indian Rope Burns!
Scene changes to the hallway between apartments 19 and 20. Judy and Ross are standing by the stairwell. Judy hands Ross a small box.
Judy: I had them adjust the size for Rachel's finger.
Ross: Thanks, Mom.
Judy: Are you sure about this, dear?
Ross: Mom, it's RACHEL.
Judy: I know. But I also remember Emily.
Ross: Emily was a mistake I never should have made. But I'm not going to lose Rachel again. I want us to be a real family.
Judy: I'm so proud of you, Ross. You and Monica.
Judy hugs Ross.
Judy: Good luck dear.
Ross: Thanks, Mom.
Judy walks down the stairs. Scene ends and opens in a casting room. Annette is standing in the middle of the room, a script in her hand.
Annette: "Who the hell do you think you are, to talk to me in that fashion? Do you have any idea who I am?"
Director: Well, Ms. Peters, that was very impressive. I have no reluctance in offering you the role. However, there is one catch, I'm afraid.
Annette: Does it involve hot dogs in any way?
Director: Uh, no.
Annette: Oh, good.
Director: Why did you ask?
Annette: I beat my roommate in a hot dog eating contest at the Rangers game last night.
Producer: Well, Ms. Peters, if you don't die from hot dog overload, we're prepared to offer you the role…provided you're willing to relocate.
Annette: What do you mean?
Director: The bigwigs decided that Los Angeles would be better suited for the show.
Annette: Oh.
Director: You don't need to decide right now. Take some time to think it over, and let us know in a week. Also, use the time to rub that victory in your roommate's face.
Annette laughs.
Annette: Knowing Joey, he'll find some way to get back at me.
Director: I'm sure he will. Well, thank you for coming in, Ms. Peters. Again, take some time to decide, and let us know.
Annette: Thank you.
Annette walks out, a worried look on her face. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Phoebe, Mike, and Alex are sitting on the couch. Rachel is sitting in the armchair. Ross and Chandler are sitting in the chairs at the end table. Monica is sitting at the counter. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey, guys.
Greetings float back.
Annette: Have you guys seen Joey anywhere?
Chandler: Joey…Joey…I used to know someone by that name.
Monica smacks Chandler.
Chandler: Ow!
Monica: Be nice. He lost a hot dog eating contest, not a "be Chandler's best friend" contest.
Mike: What's going on?
Annette: Remember the callback for the second reading I had today?
Mike: Yeah, what about it?
Annette: Well, I got offered the role.
Mike: Annette, that's great!
Annette: Not really. There's a catch.
Phoebe: What?
Annette: It's in Los Angeles. If I take the role, I have to leave New York.
Alex: What're you gonna do?
Annette: I don't know yet. I don't wanna leave the city. You guys are here, and so is Joey. Provided I can FIND him…
Rachel: Wasn't he upstairs?
Annette: No. I stopped by the apartment, but he's not there. His bedroom light's off, and the birds were in their box.
Rachel: Really? That's odd. I wonder where he-?
Enter Joey in a sweatshirt and Phoebe's maternity pants.
Joey: All right, Peters, it's go time!
Annette: Uh, Joey, I need to talk to you…
Joey: No, no, you need to start stuffing yourself! I'm fighting you for my title back!
Annette: How? By dressing in some rejected throwback from the 80s? Because if that's the case, I think I have a neon pink leotard upstairs in my room I can change into…
Every male in the coffeehouse turns to look at Annette.
Annette: As you were.
Phoebe: Joey, those are my old maternity pants!
Joey: Nah, nah, these are my secret weapon pants!
Rachel: I thought they were your Thanksgiving pants.
Joey: They're my eating pants.
Chandler: Well, I know where to shop for you on your next birthday.
Ross: Joey, before you start stuffing yourself full of hot dogs, you really need to hear what Annette has to say.
Annette: Yeah, it's pretty important…
Joey: Oh, I see what's going on here. You're trying to chicken out, because you're afraid of a MAN.
A pause.
Annette: Excuse me?
Joey: You're afraid a MAN is gonna kick your scrawny, female butt.
Annette: Okay, that's it. Put your money where your mouth is, Tribbiani! It's go time!
Joey and Annette start for the door.
Joey: I'm gonna show you why Tribbianis are feared at all the food eating contests.
Annette: You're gonna think you're in a porn movie, before I'm done with you.
Chandler: Another one? Make sure he's the star, this time.
Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey and Annette are sitting in their recliners, clutching their stomachs and groaning.
Annette: Okay, Joey. I surrender. You can have your title back.
Joey: I'd gloat and do a victory dance, but I can't move. And if I do, I'm liable to explode.
Annette: I feel like I did right after Monica's barbecue.
Joey: I told you not to use buns.
Annette: Oh, I don't even wanna hear it from you. There's enough gay joke material in what you were doing to make a porno movie.
Joey chuckles, and clutches his stomach.
Joey: Don't make me laugh.
Annette: Why?
Joey: Hurts too much.
Annette chuckles, and clutches her stomach.
Annette: I see what you mean.
Joey: I wish Dad was here.
Annette: Why?
Joey: Because he would've welcomed you into the family with open arms right now. You beat a Tribbiani in an eating contest, and almost beat him a second time.
Annette: I would've won, if I didn't have to sneeze.
Joey: The look on the guy's face was priceless, though.
Annette: Yeah, it was pretty good. It's not every day you see hot dog meat flying across the street.
Joey: Or people screaming and ducking.
Annette: Yelling "Incoming wiener!" sure didn't help.
Joey: What about you yelling "SCHNITZEL!" at the German group?
Annette: They moved, didn't they?
Joey: True.
Joey stands up and starts shuffling toward the door.
Annette: Where are you going?
Joey: Across the hall to see if Ross and Rachel have any Pepto Bismol.
Annette: Tell Rachel I want my pumps back, too.
Joey exits. Annette grabs the phone, and stares at it as flashbacks of her and Joey play. Annette dials a number.
Annette: Hi, this is Annette Peters calling. I just wanted to let you know, I've made my decision.
Credits roll.
CREDITS SCENE
Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's house. Chandler is sitting on the couch, typing on his notebook. Enter Monica.
Monica: Honey?
No reply.
Monica: Sweetie?
No reply.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: What?
Monica: What're you doing?
Chandler: Looking for reference photos of the TARDIS.
Monica: Well, stop doing that for a moment.
Chandler: Only if you stop obsessively cleaning for a day.
Monica: Honey, I'm serious. I need your help with something.
Chandler: What?
Chandler turns around to see Monica holding a stick.
Chandler: Is that…?
Monica: Yes.
Chandler: Are you…?
Monica: I don't know. I can't tell for sure. Can you help me read it?
Chandler: Sure.
Chandler walks over, and looks over Monica's shoulder. Chandler and Monica's eyes widen.
(A/N Today is your last day to vote. I'm closing the poll tomorrow.)