No Lying Allowed
Chapter Five: Mustang's Turn!
Wow! Such a big response to my last chapter! Thank you, thank you all for being such good reviewers. Who would've thought that my first story could have gotten this much attention? I am so lovin' it!
Also, I give a humongous cookie to Naruhina7799 for giving me THE BEST review I have ever had. I felt so warmed inside when I read it! Thank you! XD
Plus one for RenofAmestris for providing some much-needed ideas. Yaayy! I love all you people!
o0o
"My turn," Mustang said evilly. He grinned at Edward. Fullmetal, who was caught by surprise when Mustang's watch beeped, still looked a little bit confused.
"What?"
"Your turn for questioning is over, Fullmetal. Now, I can ask you questions," Mustang said slowly and a little bit sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. "Seriously, Fullmetal, you're not usually this slow."
Edward huffed. "Sorry! Get on with it already, bastard."
"Stop calling me that."
"No."
"If you call me that again, I'll…I'll…"
"You'll what, bastard?" Edward asked.
Roy considered for a minute. After a little while, his eyes lit up and he said, "I'll ask you more embarrassing questions." He smirked. Beat that, Fullmetal, he thought to himself.
Edward's eyes widened. "NO!"
"Well, then, stop calling me bastard."
"….Fine."
Finally, Roy thought. Now…what should I ask the little shrimp? He mused quietly.
"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AN ANT NEEDS A MICROSCOPE TO SEE HIM?" Edward yelled from across the room.
Mustang jumped in his seat and blinked in surprise. Apparently he had accidentally murmured the last bit out loud, because Edward had heard it. However, Havoc, Breda, Falman, and the rest of the people sitting around the room hadn't. Hmm. He didn't know that Edward's hearing was that sharp. Roy stored that little tidbit of information away in his brain for future use.
"I didn't call you that, Edward. Maybe you should get your hearing checked," Roy replied calmly.
Edward was still seething. "I hate you, you little colonel bast-" Suddenly he stopped and glanced fearfully at the colonel, who had leaned forward in interest.
"What did you just say, Fullmetal?"
Edward glared at Mustang. His lips were sealed tightly shut. It was obvious that he refused to say exactly what he had about to call Roy Mustang.
Winry raised her hand helpfully and said, "I think he was about to call you bastard, colonel."
Edward looked wounded. He mouthed the word traitor! at Winry. He looked away from her, pouting.
"I knew it," Roy said triumphantly. "Now I get to ask you some…embarrassing questions, Fullmetal." He laughed.
No one in the office would admit it, but secretly they all wanted to hear the dirty little secrets that Roy and Edward had stored away inside of their hearts, where no one could possibly find out about them. The two men always seemed like they had nothing to hide, that they had nothing to fear.
However, the opposite was actually true. Everybody is human. Everybody has their secrets.
And this contest would allow them to hear about it.
The tension in the office was tangible as Roy and Edward stared at each other. Roy's eyes were amused, while Edward's were furious. A minute passed silently while they sized each other up, but then Roy cleared his throat softly.
"I think I should be getting on with this," he murmured. "What should I ask you, Fullmetal? Hmmm…"
He stared off into space and thought for a moment. He glanced at Edward, then at Winry, and finally back again. An idea seemed to dawn on him. He said, "You ready, Fullmetal? I know what I will ask you now."
Edward grunted.
"I'll take that as a yes. Why haven't you jumped Winry like all the other hormonal teens?"
Edward glared at Mustang while everybody else in the room grinned. "I haven't because I have some sense of decency. And anyways, I'm not that hormonal, anyways. Sheesh!" Fullmetal started muttering to himself angrily.
"Okay, next question. Are you still a virgin?"
Everyone in the office gasped. Edward yelled, "MUSTANG!"
Mustang shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Well, it was something I've always wondered about." After a minute Roy added, "Answer the question."
"YES! I still am! What the hell, you perverted asshole!" Edward was blushing furiously. His face was red and he didn't know where to look. Everyone was gazing at him. Even Falman was looking at him pityingly.
Roy was smirking to himself. "I never would have guessed. You're…almost seventeen, right?"
Edward was shaking. "I'm…I'm not in a hurry, all right? Can we change the subject?"
Roy finally relented. "All right. Moving on to the next question…"
Fullmetal relaxed. If he was honest with himself, the only reason that he was still a virgin was because he was saving himself for one person. Winry. He would die if anyone found out about it though, so he was a more than a little touchy on the subject.
"…of me?"
"What?" Edward asked, coming out of his reverie. He shook himself a little.
Roy huffed and repeated, "I asked you the next question. I said, have you ever been jealous of me?" He smirked and waited.
"Oh!" Edward said in surprise. He had expected the next question to be just as dirty as the previous ones had been. He was actually a bit relieved that it wasn't. He'd had enough of those kinds of questions to last him for quite a while.
"Ummm…" Edward thought for a moment. Well…had he ever been jealous of his superior?
Yes, Fullmetal realized. Many times.
Roy Mustang was such a womanizer. He could get a girlfriend faster than you could say "Alchemy." And that was one quality that Edward envied.
But there were other reasons, too. He was good-looking.
He could do freaking flame alchemy, for crying out loud!
And the icing on top of the cake…Roy Mustang was tall.
So yeah! Of course Edward was jealous of the Flame Alchemist!
Quietly, Edward murmured, "Yes…I've been jealous of you before."
Roy grinned. "Why?"
Edward glared at Roy. "Do I have to spell it out for you, Mustang? For goodness sakes, here's why! You're tall! You're a flame alchemist! You're so freaking good-looking, women climb over each other to date you! So that's why! Are you happy now?"
Roy sat there for a moment, stunned. Wow. He hadn't expected to get that much out of the shrimp. He filed that little outburst away in his mind to use later.
But…wait a second. Fullmetal thought he was good-looking? Now, this could mean two things….
Mustang blurted out, "Fullmetal, I have to ask you something. Who do you like?"
Edward asked suspiciously, "What do you mean?"
Roy answered impatiently, "You know! Who do you have a crush on?"
Edward glanced nervously in Winry's direction. She was looking at him shyly. A blush colored her cheeks. "Umm…I like Winry."
Fullmetal watched carefully for her reaction. She looked down, both flattered and embarrassed at the same time.
"Is that it?"
"…Yes."
"You sure?"
"Yes! I already told you!" Sheesh! What is he getting at? Edward wondered.
Mustang relaxed. Man, he was glad he had gotten that over with. He was panicking for a second at what Edward's description of him might mean. Thank god that Edward wasn't gay!
"Okay, last question before my turn is over. You ready, Fullmetal?"
"Is it a perverted question?" Edward asked nervously.
Roy rolled his eyes. "No."
"Okay. Shoot."
"Why haven't you cut your hair?"
Ed patted his hair. He frowned in puzzlement and said, "What's wrong with it?"
"You really don't want me to answer that question, Fullmetal," Roy said.
"I think my hair looks fine this way," Ed said defensively.
"Suit yourself." Roy said. He looked at his watch again. "Oops. My time is up, Fullmetal. Now it's your turn."
"Yesss!" Edward exclaimed.
"There's one catch, though," Roy said seriously.
"What?" Edward asked.
"Riza is back, so no inappropriate questions about her." He pointed to a spot right behind Edward.
Edward spun around to find himself suddenly facing Roy's most prized subordinate. Riza looked a lot calmer than when she had last left the office. She glanced at Ed and said, "Hi."
"Umm…hi," he said nervously. He wouldn't soon forget that gun pointed at his face from the last time he had seen her. That had scared the sh** out of him. He gulped.
"Okay…Mustang." Edward said.
Yaay! The chapter's done!
You people cannot possibly imagine how sorry I am for not posting this sooner. I wish that I could have, but one thing let to another, and…well…this chapter was delayed almost two weeks after my last update. I'm sorry! Please forgive me! *sob sob*
Please review and give me some ideas for questions that Ed can ask Roy! Embarrassing questions are accepted. Just don't include Hawkeye in them. We don't want our poor main characters getting shot, now do we?
Until next time! :D
P.S. Part of the reason of why this chapter was so late was because I was typing a Kimblee/OC story! You will be able to read it soon. It will have multiple chapters and it will be rated M. Okay? XD